Sophitz Week my darlings!! The prompt was angst :)

TW: death, fighting (verbal), yelling (?) tell me if I should add more!

"What the hell was that?" he demanded, and Sophie lifted her head from the cot, eyes widening in surprise at his tone.

"What?"

"What the hell, Sophie? What was that? You almost died—"

"But I didn't!" She rose higher on her elbows before wincing and dropping back down an inch. Then, a smidge quieter, "I'm fine!"

"You almost weren't!" he snapped back, his voice shaking on the last word. "I almost..."

Lost you. 

(he had almost lost her)

"What's the problem? I can handle myself fine, in case you haven't noticed," Sophie shot back, but Fitz heard the waver in her voice.

Doubt? Or perhaps it was anger.

It didn't matter. 

He couldn't get the image of her broken, bleeding body out of his head.

That could have been her today. That could have been him crouching over her, tears swelling in his eyes, too late to save her.

"These stupid risks have to stop, Soph," he ordered, relieved when his voice stayed steady. "Please."

"Fitz—"

"Please." There, his voice broke. He took a step back, blinking a little too quickly.

For a second, she hesitated. As if she was considering it, thinking about staying back and letting other people risk their lives instead of her.

(she'd already given so much. why did she have to tear herself into pieces for a world that didn't want her?)

"I can't," she whispered, even though it sounded like a shout in his head. "I was made to do this. I can't stop."

"You can't be safe?"

"I can't let people die for me. Maybe you'd be fine with it, but I can never be."

The words sounded like a blow. "Sophie, that's not fair."

"Nothing's fair!" Sophie struggled to swing her legs off the bed, and her glare was sharp enough that Fitz didn't dare try to help. She stared at him from her seat on the side of the bed, and she repeated, "Nothing is ever fair. Not for me."

"Believe me, I know that," Fitz mumbled, wrapping his arms around his chest. Then, louder: "But you have to at least try not to get yourself killed or injured! We joke, but one day, you're not going to wake up from that cot." 

(his voice cracked again. he cursed himself)

"Don't you think I know that?" Sophie stood up on wobbly legs, and Fitz instinctively moved forward to steady her, but she scowled at him. "I know that one day I'm not going to walk off a battlefield. I know that I take too many risks. I know that. But it's better I risk myself than anyone else. It's my entire purpose, Fitz! That's why I was made! That's all—" her voice broke— "That's all I can do!"

She wrapped her arms around herself, and Fitz waited for his anger to diminish, because she looked so... broken. So hopeless. So frustrated.

(he always said the wrong thing)

"I can't let you go out there again if you're going to do this. I can't let you get hurt," he said instead, because everything he had he destroyed, and he couldn't let her die too.

She took a few steps closer, until they were almost nose to nose. Her eyes flashed with anger, but something else, too; hurt.

(he always said the wrong thing. he wanted to stop himself. he needed to stop himself) 

"You don't let me do anything, Fitz," Sophie whispered, her voice steady. "Last I checked, I am my own person. Trust me to take care of myself."

(he was so, so afraid)

"I..." Fitz's voice trailed off, and he squeezed his eyes shut so he didn't have to look into her's anymore.

(terrified, really)

"I'm perfectly capable of fighting for myself," Sophie continued, and Fitz's fists clenched as he opened his eyes.

(fighting, screaming, bleeding, fading, broken, gone, she was gone, she would be gone)

"Trust me," she implored again, taking a step back as if she realized how close they were standing. Fitz swallowed hard.

(he wanted to say, "I know." he wanted to say, "I believe in you." he wanted to say, "I trust you.")

Instead, he said, "I want to."

She backed up a little more, putting more distance between them. "But you don't?"

There was always distance between them. Distance they'd put there because otherwise they'd get too close. And he couldn't be close to anything without destroying it.

(the betrayal in her voice was bad, but her death would be worse)

"I'm sorry," he whispered, but he didn't deny it. Couldn't deny it.

Sophie stared at him for a second longer, searching his face for the words he couldn't say. Would never say.

Without a word, she brushed past him, leaving the Healing Center— and Fitz —behind.

He didn't go after her.

Instead, he clenched his fists at his side.

"I'm sorry, Sophie," he said aloud, even though there was no one to hear him. "But I can't lose you. I won't."

(he was terrified of being afraid for her. scared of the fear that rose in him every time she left and came back bloody. frightened, horrified at the thought that she wouldn't come back at all)

And so he left, to make sure no one could ever harm her again.

...

She waited by his cot day and night, but her sacrifices didn't make him wake up. 

She screamed endlessly inside his head, but nothing she could do would make him open his eyes.

She cried and shouted and begged time itself to switch directions, to bring him back, to let her say what she needed to say, but that didn't change a thing. It couldn't change what had happened.

It couldn't change what she had made happen.

Sophie couldn't go back and say what she wanted, to stop him, to stop herself, to stop time and space and let it just be them.

And his dull, shining eyes wouldn't ever open again.

oogie boogie motherfrickers I'm a demon sent straight from hell

figured it was Fitz's turn