YOU KNOW THAT FIRST TIME YOU SEE SOMEONE OR THE FIRST TIME YOURE WITH THEM ALONE WITH YOUR FINGERS LOCKED TOGETHER AND YOUR HEART IS POUNDING IN YOUR CHEST AND YOU WANT TO AVERT YOUR EYES BUT YOUR BODY ISNT LISTENING TO YOU AND YOU FINALLY FEEL THOSE BUTTERFLIES IN YOUR STOMACH THAT EVERYONE DESCRIBES FLIPPING AND FLUTTERING BENEATH YOUR SKIN WITH THEIR WINGS BEATING TO GET OUT ?

I FINALLY FOUND THAT FEELING OF LOVE AND COMPASSION BUT OF COURSE WITH MY LUCK AND WITH THE WAY MY LIFE HAS BEEN SO FAR HE NO LONGER LOVES ME THE WAY HE DID BEFORE AND HE WONT TOUCH ME AND HE WONT LOOK AT ME AND HE WONT FUCKING TALK TO ME AND MY HEART STILL BEATS AGAINST MY SKIN JUST FOR HIM AND MY EYES STILL DONT WANT TO LOOK AWAY BUT THIS TIME HE WONT EVEN LOOK BACK AND MY STOMACH IS STILL FLIPPING AND CHURNING INSIDE OF ME BUT THE BUTTERFLIES DO NOT FLUTTER.

THEY ARE DEAD.

DEAD INSIDE MY STOMACH AND NOW THE WAY IT SHUDDERS WITHIN ME IS AS IF MY BODY WANTS TO VOMIT OUT THE ONCE LIVELY FEELINGS THAT TURNED INTO BROKEN AND SAD EMOTIONS AND SHED AWAY ANY SORROW BUT I DONT WANT TO LET GO OF MY BUTTERFLIES BECAUSE EVEN NOW THAT THEYRE DEAD THEYRE STILL PRETTY TO LOOK AT.