Loneliness.

When did I last go outside? I have no clue, I don't even respond to peoples messages anymore. not on purpose I just don't feel like anyone understands, no-one knows what I've been through. I have friends but are they FRIENDS? they talk to me only when they need advice and when they want something.. I listen to their issues but they don't listen to mine, work Isn't helping either. I feel useless most of the time. Numb.

For years I've been dealing with this but I don't know how to tell people about it, I don't know how to explain to them how I'm feeling. I'm just a waste of space a waste of air. the loneliness is suffocating 

I deserve this.