Dazai tilts his head in confusion. "Like, for free?"

His roommate sighs, exasperated, as he takes his glasses back from the brunette and pushes them up the bridge of his nose. "Yes. Couples get a free chocolate mousse cake over Valentine's Day weekend."

"Only couples?"

"Yes."

Dazai chuckles. "Gee, Kunikida-kun, you seem hot under the collar."

"You're stepping on all of my toes."

"That's one of the things I enjoy most~"

Dazai stares up at the ceiling.

"Hypothetically, though…"

The blonde growls as his roommate presses on.

"You could fake a date and still get the cake, right?"

"Yes. That's what Yosano-san did."

"Ahh, right."

Dazai drums his fingers together.

"Will you come with me then, Kunikida-kun?"

In a heartbeat, he answers. "Hell no."

"Aww, why not?"

"Even a fake date with you would be a nightmare."

"But...the cake…"

"I am this close to strangling you."

Dazai sighs and drops the subject.

~

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Dazai dials the number.

"Hello?"

An annoyed voice he hadn't heard in awhile comes through the speaker.

"Ahh, Chuuya! I missed you~"

"It's been a month. You did not. Now, what do you want?"

"Fufu, even after being separated, you still know me so well~"

"You're like an open book. That was written for four-year-olds."

"Chuuya's so mean!"

Chuuya sighs. "Now, why are you calling me?"

Dazai pitches his voice high in an attempt to sound innocent. "Oh, well, y'see...I need Chuuya to do me a favor…"

A loud groan trumpets into Dazai's ear, so loud the speaker freaks out a little, and it hurts. "When?"

"I need you to come at 5:00. I'll tell you the details then. Will Chuuya do this for me?"

Chuuya sits in silence for a bit. He had not talked to the brunette for over a month, not since his buddy got into a car accident. He remembers how the brunette used to be: loud, annoying, loved to tease the redhead, and insisted on wrapping his arms around him and holding him close like a teen heartthrob any chance he got. Why would Chuuya want to do something nice for him?

Then again, he knows that if he doesn't do this, Dazai will never let him hear the end of it.

"Ugh, fine. I'll be there at 5:00."

"Yay! I forgot that Chuuya was such a good person!"

"Shut up, asshole."

~

"Oi."

"What's the matter?"

"Are you kidding me??"

The two stand in line at the restaurant, behind various couples holding hands, waiting for the waitress to let them in.

"Of course not. I'd never call you without a reason."

"So, your favor you needed was for me to pretend to be your boyfriend??"

"Yes."

"And for what??"

"This place has delicious chocolate mousse cake, and...they're giving it free to couples during Valentine's Day. So...for free food?"

Chuuya sighs. It's hard to pass up free food.

"Fine. But never again."

"Oh, trust me, chibi, I don't plan on asking you on a date any time soon."

Chuuya crosses his arms. "Asshole. You'd be lucky to land a guy like me."

Their bickering was to be put on hold, as they were up next in line.

The waitress smiles. "Welcome! Are you two together?"

Dazai smiles and wraps his arms around the redhead (who looks exceedingly unhappy). "Why, yes, we are! Table for two, please~"

The waitress nods and brings them inside, seating them in a booth, as there were no tables left.

Word must've spread fast on the free chocolate heaven.

The two college students squirm into the seat beside one another. Chuuya lifts up the menu and does not look at Dazai.

"You touching me was very unpleasant."

He flips the page.

"You're sweaty as all hell. And you reek like mackerel."

Dazai picks up a menu himself. "Y-yeah? Well, you smell like a slug."

This is when Chuuya turns to look at the taller man in confusion. "How the fuck do you know what a slug smells like??"

Dazai closes the menu. "I have my ways."

~

Chuuya leans back in the seat. "I hate to admit it, but...that was a very pleasant meal."

Dazai looks down at him, and something suddenly strikes him.

The shorter redhead has his back pressed against the cushion, eyes closed, satisfied smile on his lips.

He was so damn adorable.

How did Dazai never notice this before?

Dazai's train of thought is cut off by the waitress walking to their table. Quickly, he twines his fingers with Chuuya's and slams their hands on the table (Chuuya turns and looks at Dazai, staying slouched in the booth, peeved).

"Would you two like a chocolate mousse cake? It's free for couples."

Dazai smiles so widely and politely, it's fake. "Why, yes please!"

"Coming right up."

The waitress takes her leave, and Chuuya tears his hand from Dazai's, still giving him the evil eye. Dazai turns and looks at him, and laughs, which makes Chuuya scowl harder.

"What's so damn funny, asshole?"

Dazai claps his hands together. "Oh, nothing, really. I'm just appreciating how cute you are, is all."

Chuuya feels heat localize in his cheeks and throbbing localize in his chest cavity. "C-cute?? I am not cute."

Dazai smiles wide again, but this time, it doesn't look fake. "Yes, you are! Nakahara Chuuya is adorable!"

He leans over the table and stares at Chuuya, admirably. "Y'know all that lovey-dovey stuff I did to you in front of the waitress? I didn't have to fake anything~"

The waitress saves Chuuya by coming back and carefully placing the decadent cake on the table.

Chuuya picks up a spoon and feels his blush deepen. "Eat your cake, you sappy bastard."

He shovels some of the chocolate into his mouth.

Dazai laughs again and grabs the other spoon and scoops up a glob of cake, delicately licking it off the spoon and savoring the sweet taste. It was about ten times more delicious than it was made out to be.

Chuuya watches Dazai as he indulges himself on the Valentine's Day treat. The way he sucks the cake off the spoon. The noises he makes as he does so. His large, satisfied smile he paints on his face with each bite. It makes Chuuya's heart speed up.

Suddenly, he gets an idea.

The redhead straightens his back and scoops up more of the cake. He nudges Dazai until he looks at him, and once his attention is caught, he climbs into the taller man's lap, smirking.

"Why don't you let me feed you, Osamu?"

Dazai feels his heart take a jab. Osamu, huh?

I like the way it sounds on his tongue.

"Okay."

Dazai subconsciously opens his mouth and allows the redhead to push the utensil in between his lips and feed him the cake. He licks his lips and smirks back.

"Hm hm, that was the sweetest bite of them all."

Chuuya adjusts his position on Dazai's lap. "That so?"

"It is so. I think it may be because this one was from Chuuya."

Chuuya's heart takes a turn in getting a punch. But he can't let himself lose now. If Dazai is going to make him go on a fake date with him. He's going to punish him.

Because apparently, this classifies as a punishment in the redhead's book.

"Hang on, Osamu, you got a little bit in the corner of your mouth."

Chuuya licks the tip of his finger, and carefully wipes the mousse from Dazai's lip, slyly licking the residue off his own finger with a subtle wink.

Dazai cracks.

"Ch-Chuuya..the waitress isn't around, you don't have to keep up with the act."

Chuuya smirks again. "Who says I'm acting?"

Dazai's jaw drops slightly and Chuuya laughs.

"Hm...I like that. I love the way you sputter my name when you're embarrassed...darling."

Dazai cups Chuuya's face with his hands. "Is Chuuya trying to kill me on Valentine's Day, after we haven't seen each other in so long? How cruel."

Chuuya rolls his hips against Dazai, who's hands then shiver and lose grip on his face. "Yes, I am. You're going to die slowly, at my hands."

Dazai groans. "Oh, Chuuya. You know I'd prefer a quick and painless death."

Chuuya's smirk does not falter. "Not on my watch."

He runs his fingers through Dazai's chocolate-brown locks and leans forward, still staying snug in the taller man's lap, savoring the flustered expression on his face.

Maybe this date wasn't so bad after all.

He tucks some of said chocolate-brown locks behind the man's ear and gazes into his deep eyes, willingly letting himself get lost in them. And he knew that, in turn, Dazai was lost in his eyes as well.

"Happy Valentine's Day, darling."