Age 15

It was after their first mission.

The two were exhausted.

At the foot of Dazai's bed, the two teenagers sat, a healthy distance apart.

"Not that I care, but…"

The redhead turns slowly to look at his new partner.

"Is your arm okay?"

Dazai raises his uncovered eyebrow.

"Of course it is. It's not in a protective cast for nothing."

Chuuya scoffs. "Can't you be kindhearted about anything?"

"Not in the mafia."

No response is said from Chuuya.

"You're way too soft. Port Mafia's gonna chew you up and spit you out."

Chuuya glares at him. "I am not soft!"

"You worried too much about me against Randou. It hindered you. It was soft. You can't afford to worry about me in combat."

"I thought you were hurt--"

"It doesn't matter. I'm not the brawn, I'm the brains. It doesn't matter what happens to me in combat. I'm not the one who's supposed to be fighting."

"If you get hurt, though--"

"Then you won't have a strategist?"

The light disappears from Dazai's eye. The room suddenly gets a lot colder.

"You think I don't know that? That's why I tend to stay out of physical combat. That was the one time where I couldn't. Don't worry about me. I'll be okay. I have to be."

The redhead stares at his shoes. "Y'know, it wouldn't hurt you to soften up when we aren't on the job."

"Wouldn't it?"

The brunette hasn't blinked since the two started talking. It was unsettling.

"I can't show weakness. I already can't fend for myself in battle. I can only rely on my wit. At least you have power. You can protect yourself."

"But I hate it."

Finally, Dazai blinks.

"You hate it?"

"I hate it."

"Why?"

Chuuya swallows.

"Everyone seeks to have inhuman power. To be the one above all. Well, lemme tell you something, it's not as awesome as everyone thinks. Would you like it if you had the god of chaos living inside you, fighting you, to break out? Would you like to have lost half of your life to said god? No. Inhuman power is exactly that. It separates you from everyone else. I just want to be normal. Human."

Dazai stares at him, in awe. He then closes his eyes.

"Y'know, Chuuya...I'm not really human, either."

"You're closer to it than me."

They sit in silence for a bit.

"Dazai…"

"Hm?"

"Touch me."

The brunette's eyes widen. "What? I--"

"Your ability. Make me feel human. Even just for a bit."

Ah, that's right.

No Longer Human.

Human disqualification.

Except for when it came to Nakahara Chuuya.

Instead, it gave him humanity. It didn't take it away.

"Okay."

Dazai grabs his partner's hands, barely. It's just for his ability, it's just for his ability, he keeps telling himself.

Suddenly he's overcome by a warm sensation, and realizes that the redhead has pressed his lips to his.

It's just for his ability. It doesn't mean anything.

But...it was warm. Pleasant. It was...things Dazai has never felt before.

As soon as it starts, it stops. Dazai's face is red.

"Wh-what was that?"

"A kiss?"

"But...why?"

The redhead shrugs.

They stare for a bit until Dazai realizes his eyes continue to linger on his partner's lips.

"Can we, uh...do it again?"

Their eyes meet.

"Okay."

And they do.

Age 16

It was after the Dragon Head Feud.

Chuuya was still grieving. He just recovered from Corruption, after he and Dazai had slipped from Shibusawa's cave, of sorts.

The two of them sit on the hard pavement.

"Y'know, if you'd died when I told you to, you wouldn't have had to hear that news."

"Shut up."

The redhead buries his face in his hands and continues to hold back his tears.

"They...were all I had...I…"

He sways.

"Oh God, I feel so lightheaded."

Dazai looks at him, his eye soft, for the first time. He spreads his legs a little, as an invitation. He needs not say words.

Chuuya accepts, collapsing into his partner's lap, shaking. Dazai carefully takes the hat from his head, and strokes his hair.

It was so soft.

"You have nice hair, Chibi…"

Those were the last words Chuuya heard before he lost consciousness.

~

"Wake up, Chuuya. I can't feel my leg."

The brunette nudges his partner until he hears the typical dissatisfied groan one makes upon being forced to being awoken.

"Chuuya, get up. I won't be able to walk. Rumors will start."

"Shut your mouth."

The redhead lifts his head from Dazai's lap, straightening his spine, and he stretches.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Hours. We really need to head back to base."

"Damn."

Chuuya shuffles until he is no longer in a compromising position, and sitting next to Dazai.

"Hey, uh...thanks."

Dazai tilts his head in confusion.

"For…?"

"For letting me rest on you. I...I needed that."

"Don't thank me. I was just trying to be a good partner. Partners should have each other's back, yeah?"

Chuuya chuckles. "Yeah, I guess so."

He looks into the deep brown eye of the brains of Double Black. He feels lost in thoughts. Like he's about to give into his feelings.

"Why are you staring at me like that?"

"Shut up."

And, out of nowhere, he kisses him.

He does not expect Dazai to kiss back.

Chuuya pushes his partner down into the pavement as he straddles him, pushing their lips together aggressively. He feels Dazai's hand wander underneath his shirt and feel his cold skin, which causes him to shiver.

Dazai laughs against his lips, which causes him to pull back.

"I thought I told you to shut up."

"If you want me to shut up…"

Dazai slowly runs his hand up his partner's back.

"...then make me."

"Gladly."

It was awkward explaining to Mori-sensei why they were gone for so long.

Age 18

It was the night before Dazai left the mafia.

He sought Chuuya out for solace.

A loud pounding is heard against Chuuya's door. Frazzled, he goes to it, and opens it, only to see his partner there. He is discarded of his coat, and his eye is now uncovered.

Never has Dazai's appearance surprised Chuuya so much.

"Your...your eye--"

"Odasaku is dead."

Chuuya shudders. Never has he been in such a state of shock.

"H-he's dead?"

"Hold me."

Without warning, Dazai kicks the door shut and throws his arms around Chuuya. He stumbles back.

"...bastard. You almost knocked me down."

So says Chuuya, and he hugs Dazai back.

The sound of Dazai crying into his shoulder is very unsettling. Chuuya hates the sound. It means his partner is in horrible distress.

In all their years of partnership, this was the first time Chuuya saw Dazai cry.

"I'm not one for comforting…"

Chuuya's voice is soft.

"...but I'll do what I can."

Dazai clenches the fabric of Chuuya's shirt.

"Thanks…"

He lifts his head from Chuuya's shoulder and meets his eyes. Chuuya feels his heart break upon looking into his partner's tear-stained irises.

"Chuuya, would you…"

He puts a finger against his partner's lip and presses himself against him.

"Would you take me?"

Chuuya's face reddens. The pressure Dazai is pushing on his lip and pelvis makes him want more. More than he thought he could get.

Until those words spill from Dazai's lips.

Chuuya closes his eyes.

"Gladly."

He presses his lips against the lips of his grief-stricken partner and holds him close. For a few minutes, the two just stand there, kissing.

Until Chuuya can't take it anymore.

He picks Dazai up in his arms and throws him onto his bed, climbing over him and kissing him more. Dazai wraps his arms around his partner and pulls him as close as he can, sighing as he feels a lick at his bottom lip, and then a love bite.

Not satisfied, Dazai bites back, causing a beckoning noise to come from Chuuya against his mouth. He chuckles a little, laughter turning into beckoning sounds of his own as Chuuya grinds himself against him and kisses him harder. Unable to resist, Dazai wraps his legs around his partner, losing himself in his intoxicating taste.

"Mm, Chuuya…"

Dazai cooes as Chuuya kisses at his neck.

"Thank you…"

Chuuya mutters against Dazai's skin. "For what?"

"For--ahh--for helping me feel better...being here for me, thank you…"

Chuuya relocates back to Dazai's face and silences him with another deep kiss. He pulls back and smirks.

"Don't thank me. I was just trying to be a good partner."

He kisses him again briefly, biting and tugging on his lower lip, Dazai groaning again.

"I mean...partners should have each other's back, yeah?"

Dazai cannot help but smile.

"Heh, I guess so."

He kisses him again.

"Don't stop, Chuuya…"

"I won't. We have all night, after all."

~

Chuuya rolls over, surprised to see the other side of the bed empty.

He sits up and looks down, still fully clothed. His memory is slightly foggy. But he remembers Dazai being there.

But now Dazai was gone.

And he didn't see him again after that.

After all he had done for him, too.

Man, Dazai really is the worst partner.

Age 22

It was after Dazai had left Port Mafia's dungeon.

He found Chuuya's room and made himself at home there. Much to Chuuya's surprise.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"What does it look like, Chuuya? I'm laying on your bed! It's very comfy~"

Chuuya glares at him.

"You lost the right to be in here when you left me without saying goodbye."

Dazai sits up. His smile crumbles and he looks distraught.

"Right. Forgot about that."

Chuuya crosses his arms and scoffs. "Please. You did not. You're just trying to play it off to save face like you always do. Now, get out. You aren't welcome here."

"Come on, Chuuya. This is the first time we've seen each other in four years! Can't you be a little more welcoming?"

"No."

Dazai sighs and gets up from the bed. But he does not leave. Instead, he approaches Chuuya and gently holds his hands. Chuuya does not pull away.

"Look, I'm sorry. I couldn't tell you I was leaving. If I did, then...you'd be suspected in aiding my escape. You'd be hunted down and probably executed for being a traitor."

Chuuya's shoulders sink.

"I suppose that's true…"

He looks up at his ex-partner.

"But I can't just forgive you like that."

"I don't expect you to forgive me."

Dazai places a feather-light kiss on Chuuya's forehead.

"But...can I at least try to make it up to you?"

Chuuya wants to say no. He wants to push him away. He wants to punch him or kick him or do something to hurt him. He wants to yell at him and tell him how mad he is for his partner abandoning him.

"Chuuya, would you...would you take me?"

"Gladly."

But he can't.

Not to Dazai.

He closes his eyes and acquiesces.

"Fine."

And he kisses him.

~

"Holy shit, Dazai, you're just as lazy as you used to be. Can't you be on top for once?"

Dazai tucks his arms behind his head and laughs.

"Come on, Chuuya, you know that's not who I am."

He grabs the collar of Chuuya's shirt and tugs him into a kiss. He planned for it to be quick, but soon enough, they both melt into it. Dazai wraps his arms around his ex-partner as he slowly works his lips against his, having the memories of when they used to kiss flush back to him.

"Mm...I missed these lips."

He playfully bites Chuuya's lower lip to underscore his words.

"They taste so sweet."

He chuckles.

Chuuya pulls back and half-glares at him.

"Come on, Dazai, you're really gonna get all sappy on me?"

Dazai pulls down Chuuya's choker and plants a kiss on his neck.

"What do you expect? I missed my partner."

Chuuya tilts his head slightly, inviting Dazai to kiss his neck more. He continues to plant kisses there, until he gets tired of it, and pulls Chuuya down again to kiss his lips and run his fingers through his hair.

Chuuya closes his eyes.

"I missed you too...Osamu."

At this, Dazai pulls back abruptly.

"Did you...just call me Osamu?"

"I did."

Dazai stares at him.

"Do you not like that?"

Dazai kisses Chuuya's jaw.

"No, I love it. Call me by my given name again, Chuuya."

Chuuya smirks.

"Osamu~"

Dazai kisses him again.

"Yes, again, Chuuya."

Chuuya separates each syllable with a kiss.

"Osamu."

On the next kiss, Dazai kisses back, pulling Chuuya even closer to him.

"I know I left the mafia, and we're not partners anymore…"

He pulls back and looks up at Chuuya. He smiles at him, filled with longing, love, regret, promise, adoration, and many more emotions.

"...but I'll always be here for you, Chuuya. Whenever you need me. I'm now not your partner. Just yours."

And he kisses him again.