Hiatus

Request by D3MON_IMAG1NES

The day his hiatus was announced was the day he stopped texting you.
It felt like he never existed at all.

You were in a relationship with Hyunjin since 2 years and you two spent a lot of time with each other.
No matter if he was stressed, if he was practising or recording something he always had time to text you or call you over.

Your relationship was healthy, even if you two argued sometimes.
He made you feel good about yourself, boosted your self confidence, made you learn how to like and accept yourself.

And you made him more confident with his skills; dancing, singing, rapping....
You made Hyunjin notice what an amazing person he was and gave him almost no reasons to overthink.

Hyunjin was an overthinker, which you noticed quite early since you often caught him zooming out after a smal argument or you found him awake at 1 am staring at the ceiling.

You did an awesome job at making him more confident and happy.
Even after the rumor went around that he bullied old classmates.

That hurt and frustrated your boyfriend since he didn't know if he really said hurtful things.
He wanted, no needed to apologize for his own inner peace.

But in the end he was set on hiatus.
For 40 days.

10 days without any sign of him.
You were worried and mostly lonely.
Even if it was only 10 days without him you missed him more than anything.

You texted and called him daily, but it seemed like he was ignoring you.
You had a spare key to his apartment but he was never there when you showed up.

His members didn't let you in the dorm, they didn't even open the front door.

They all ignored you.

20 days without Hyunjin and you started questioning if you did something wrong.
You did everything you could to contact him, but they wouldn't let you in the JYP building to the practise rooms and still no sign from Straykids.

Only some reality shows and Kingdom.

Kingdom....that was the last time you saw Hyunjin on screen.
And what pained you even more was that he was so excited to be a part of that.

And now he wasn't allowed to be in their performances anymore.

And going dumb was the last song he took part in.

30 days without Hyunjin and you asked yourself if it really was the company's decision or Hyunjin's to not text you or let you close to him.

Maybe he felt embarrassed.
But that wasn't a reason to just...disappear.
You decided to just wait patiently till the 40 days are over, even if it was the absolute hell for you.

You were crying yourself asleep most of the days, if you even got any sleep.
You continued to go to school, but you questioned everything you did.

You only studied make up to become an artist at JYP. A position that you were offered because of Hyunjin.
But if he'd break up with you why bother studying that.

You still went to school and payed attention as much as you could, but he just wouldn't leave your mind.
He was all you could think about.

40 days without Hyunjin and you had hope.
Hope that he'd return. It's been 40 days so he should read your messages or call you right?

He didn't.
And then you saw the announcement that he'd be on hiatus for a little longer.

No days were mentioned.
Nothing.

You were sobbing once again, in your empty bed. Empty because he wasn't there.

Everything felt empty.

You missed his smile, you missed his voice, you missed his laugh, you missed his touches, you missed him.

You asked yourself if he missed you as much as you missed him.
If he went through the same amount of pain as you did.
If he also felt like suffocating while crying because he thought about you.

50 days without him, you had been at Straykids dorm again.
But once again they all ignored you.
You even visited Hyunjin's parents, who were in the same position as you.

And that made you sure it was the company's decision to keep him away from everyone.
To let him reflect on himself.

Bullshit. They probably keep him away until the last kingdom performance to make Stays watch them so they'd get more views.

You found it rather cruel to take advantage of the Stays who missed him and not even announce when he'll be back so that everyone continues to watch everything.

For views.
JYP entertainment made Hyunjin, his members, Stays and you go through so much suffering because of views.

They didn't even let him celebrate his birthday...

60 days...

70 days...

80 days...

You stopped counting.
You couldn't bare to see the number and remember all the countless amount of nights you cried and sobbed.

You missed him and you started to hate that feeling.

Fuck, you missed him.
You needed him.

All of his hoodies you had didn't smell like him anymore and nothing else seemed to give you comfort.

You felt yourself slowly drowning in sadness and numbness day for day and you didn't even know if he would ever return.

There were rumors about him.
That he cut his hair own his own and starve himself.
Or that the company might kick him out of the group.

And now you were not only hurt and sad, but scared too.
All you wanted was him to embrace you, to give him advice, to see and hear him laugh.

You remembered someone saying it's been over 120 days already.

Stray kids have won Kingdom,
without Hyunjin.

Not even they were allowed to mention his name.

Mention his existence.

You had enough of this bullshit, you were done with everything at that moment.

One more try....you promised yourself that this was the last time you'd visit Straykids dorm.

You just couldn't handle it anymore.
On your way to their dorm you thought about nothing but him.

You needed him in your arms so badly and you were willing to kick that fucking door down, or break into there somehow.

You knocked on the door, already a crying mess.
Hot tears were streaming down your face, blurring your vision.

Your bottom was trembling, while you continued to knock on that door.
As always nobody answered.

"I know you're in there!", you cried out, knocking on last time before resting your forehead against the cold wood in front of you.

"Please....please open the door", you begged exhausted.
"I called and texted you so many times! All of you! I cried myself asleep while waiting for you to reply. If you want to break up with me just tell me, don't make me suffer any more", you managed to say under your sobs.

Then out of nowhere the door was opened, almost making you lose your balance.

And there he stood; eyes puffy, teary and red, his hair a little longer than you remembered and a little skinnier than the last time you say him.

He was beautiful, even at the very edge of crying, while looking at you with all the love he felt for you.

After over 120 days, this was the first time you saw each other.

"Y/n", he breathed out before pulling you into his embrace without hesitation.

It was so overwhelming for you, you felt so much at the moment.
His warmth, his love.

You inhaled his scent as he held onto you for dear life as if you'd vanish every second.

Funny, since he was the one who just disappeared.

But in that moment you realized it all. You knew he suffered just as much as you did, maybe even more.

This hug said more than words ever could, he told you how much he missed you, how much he loved you, how much he cared for you.

"I'm so sorry", his voice cracked and he broke down crying.
"I missed you so much, I felt like dying and breaking apart each day without you. I couldn't take it", he cried out, the pain in his voice shattering your heart into little pieces.

"I don't want to break up with you, Y/n. I love you so much." He broke the hug, still holding your hands.

And then his lips crashed onto yours, telling you even more how he felt, how much he really missed you.
He kissed you with so much passion and affection, as if he thought he had to prove it once again.

You kissed him back with the same amount of desire and love, while you felt his hands wandering to your waist, gently pulling your body towards his.

After pulling away to breathe he carefully put his forehead against yours. "Please don't leave me again", you whispered, scared he'd leave again.

"Never."

~☆~