Concept: What if the Mage used Simon as a nonviolent way to get Baz taken out of the school? How did he do this? Numpties and blood.

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Characters/Places Mentioned:

Simon Snow - Main Character, Chosen One. Worst Chosen One you'll ever meet.

The Mage - School Headmaster, kind of an ass.

Penelope Bunce (mentioned) - Simon's best friend. Indian Herminoe.

Baz Pitch - Gay vampire helplessly in love with Simon.

Fiona Pitch (mentioned) - Baz's aunt. Never grew out of her emo phase.

Watford - Great Value™ Hogwarts.

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SIMON

It was early October when the Mage called me again. He sent a robin to my room while I was lying on my bed, thinking. I was wondering what Baz could be planning that caused him to miss two months of school. I mean, all this just to kill me? Was it worth it?

The bird landed on the edge of my bed (I had the window open). It tweeted to get my attention.

I looked down, and it hopped towards me on one foot. The other was clutching a note. I reached over, "Who's this from?" I asked as I grabbed the note, but I think I already knew the answer.

It was a piece of rolled parchment that has scraggily written handwriting saying, 'Come to my office. I have a mission for you,' and at the bottom, it was signed by the Mage.

I jumped up, it was almost instinct, but then I hesitated. The Mage wanted me to go on a mission, after he told me I was leaving and then I turned him down? What if he was just trying to get me out of Watford?

I shook my head to stop thinking. That was stupid, the Mage would never do that. He had a mission for me, and I had to go.

I reached under my bed to grab my sneakers and then hurried out of the room.

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"Numpties, sir?" I asked, surprised. The Mage got a look of annoyance on his face, and I squirmed in my seat. He did hate to repeat himself.

"Yes. Numpties. There's a group of them in London, I need you to get rid of them," The Mage explained, his hands folded over the table.

I blinked, still surprised. "Do I have to leave now, sir? Can't I wait until Baz comes back?

"No," The Mage snapped. "They're an issue now. You are the Chosen One, Simon. This is your responsibility."

"I thought I was supposed to defeat the Insidious Humdrum," I frowned. "Not get rid of numpties, sir."

"You'll have to take care of a lot of things when you get to the place you were born to do, Simon," The Mage explained and I squirmed again. I didn't like talking to him sometimes. He talked to me like I was a toddler trying to understand politics.

"Get your stuff ready," The Mage continued. "You'll be leaving within the hour." I must've had a face that looked ready to shout, but the Mage continued to speak. "They're just numpties, Simon. It won't take you too long to get rid of them." Then, he sent me away.

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SIMON

I arrived at the bridge after the sun had set. It was dark and cold and the shade of the bridge provided nothing to help it.

I rubbed my arms and held out my sword. What did numpties even look like? I mean, we talked about it in one of my classes, but I didn't remember. Could I even cut off a numpties' head like I did the troll?

I stepped inside the cave and called out, "Hello? Anyone here?" I called out, but heard nothing back. My words echoed against the wall, and came back around to me. I tried again, "Hello?"

Then there was a groan, and a sharp inhale. I stepped closer, having my sword by my side in seconds. "Hello? Who's there? Numpties? Are you there?" I called, hoping to get an answer. My heart was beginning to pick up speed as suspense rose in the air. Something was moving along the wall. That was where the groaning was coming from.

I tentatively stepped forward, "Hello? Anyone there?" I asked, as the thing came into view. It was a coffin, and the top was moving. I swallowed, I never had to deal with the undead before. Was this what the Mage sent me here for? Are Numpties zombies?

I heard movement and something sharp cutting across the calf of my trousers. I turned, but nothing was there. I felt down on my leg --- I was bleeding. I decided to wait, it wasn't that bad, and Penny could fix it up for me. She always did.

But then I heard a hiss and the top moved again. The locks were straining to keep whatever it was inside and was beginning to splinter.

I turned back around sword ready to strike. It took a few more blows, but the top to the coffin was ripped off, whatever was inside tumbled out, and to the floor.

I pointed my sword, ready to get this over with. I was cold and tired and ready to go back to Watford. Whatever it was on the ground, it was shaking and breathing heavily. It's clothes look to be in tatters and stunk a little.

"Get up," I ordered, my voice firm. Whatever it was, froze. Then slowly, it look up --- no, he looked up. It was Baz and he looked like he was in absolutely agony. Tears were dripping down his cheeks and his body was beginning to shake. But that wasn't what caught my attention.

In his mouth was a pair of razor sharp fangs, right over his teeth. Baz was a vampire. I knew it --- Baz was a vampire! He was a vampire and he was crying. Baz never cried, what was wrong with him.

He inhaled again, but it was like shudders through his body. His hands were grabbing at the dirt, as he tried to control himself. "Get away from me!" He screamed.

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BAZ

I didn't think I would last much longer.

Since they've taken me, the numpties been giving me blood. I don't bloody know how they figured it out through their thick, rock skulls that I was a vampire, but I was at least a little grateful that they did. The blood was keeping me alive. I was still hungry enough to drain an elephant, but I was alive.

But then, they stopped. I don't know how long it's been, it's hard to keep track when you're stuck in a coffin, but it's been a few days, if not more. I couldn't go on much longer. My stomach ached and my eyes watered for the need, the urge for blood. My fangs popped and haven't gone back in. I was so hungry. So, so hungry.

And then, I heard it. A voice. A person.

Blood.

I didn't even register pounding on the top of the coffin. I had tried before and it never worked. Maybe I didn't have the strength then, but I did now. I was hungry, hungrier than I've ever been before.

Usually, the urge to drain a person was surpressed. I've never done it, and I promised myself that I never would. But, from where I laid, I could hear their heart beating. I could smell the blood pumping in their body. It filled me with an urge, a need. I needed to eat. I needed to.

I got out, and I was on the ground. The first time I touched the ground in far too long. I heard someone talking above me. At first, I wanted to launch myself at them, and drain them completely. But, with whatever little restraint I had left, I didn't.

Then, I heard his voice. "Get up." I froze, the ends of my hair standing. No. Not him, not Snow. But, when I looked up, he was there. His hair just as brown-bronze and curly as ever. His eyes blue eyes seemed to burn with magic and intensity. It always made my stomach twist and now especially show.

I can't be here. Not now. Not when I feel like this. It wasn't fair! Why is it that I can't have one good thing for myself!? Not my mom! Not my life! Not even Simon bloody Snow!

Tears began to burn my eyes and create floods down my face. But, a thought creeped in my mind. Was this it? The day I dreaded where he and I finally ended each other? I always knew I was going to die by the hands of Simon Snow, I anticipated it. From the day we met, I knew we'd kill each other.

I shuddered as I inhaled, my stomach churning from him being so close. From the blood dripping down his leg, being wasted on the ground. My hands nails dug into the dirt as I tried to control my lust. He needed to leave. Now!

"Get away from me!" I screamed at him, my voice cracking as held every part of this inhuman creature that I was back. My mind screamed for blood, but my heart sobbed for Snow. I couldn't do this, I couldn't kill him. I loved him.

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SIMON

Now, I was really worried for him. His back arched and his face contorted into agony. An un-Baz-like whine escaped his lips. Was he hurt? Crowley, where was Penny when I needed her? "What's wrong? Baz? What's wrong?"

I tried to take a step forward, but Baz just jumped back, his eyes were wide and his pupils bloated. He kept running his tongue across his fangs. They were milky white and looked razor sharp. I gulped looking at them, but tried to focus on him --- Baz. He was in pain.

"No! Not you! Get away! Leave!" Baz's words were a jumbled mess. He looked like he couldn't breath. He moved a hand to cover his mouth, but the arm was shaking. His entire body was shaking. It was like he wanted to jump --- to jump at me --- but he was stopping himself from moving.

"Baz, we need to take you to the---" Baz was covering his face now. He kept gasping and clawing at his face.

"No, not him. Fuck, not him!" He hissed to himself, his overgrown nails leaving marks in his skin. "Control it! Control it!"

"Baz, stop!" Now I was worried. I was still clutching my sword and I dropped it. I stepped towards him, but he just pushed himself farther.

"Get! Away!" He screeched the words like they were poison. "Run! Damn it, run, Simon!"

"Why? What wrong with you?" Now I was scared, but I stepped back anyway. He was still covering his face as he talked.

"The blood. You're bleeding and, fuck, get away! I can't control it!"

"I don't understand," I frowned. The blood?

Then, I looked down and saw the back of my bleeding pants. Oh, shit.

Baz seemed at his wit's end as well. He jumped, his mouth full of teeth and his eyes black. I jumped back, his teeth just centimeters away. "Whoa, Baz!" I cried, but he wasn't listening to reason. He jumped again, and I moved away. I didn't want to hurt him, but I didn't want to be turned either. Did he just have to cut me with his teeth, or did he have to bite?

My stomach twisted at the thought and I suddenly wished I had read more about vampires.

Baz jumped again, and I tripped over a rather big rock. My head fell and slammed against the ground, my sight blurring for a moment. Baz was on me, mouth opened and fangs aimed at my neck. I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Baz! No! You're better than this!" I said, hold his face and trying to push him away. "Fight it! Control yourself!"

Baz looked at me, his dark eyes focusing in mine and for a second, he looked normal, and terrified. "Baz," I whispered, and tears formed in his eyes.

"I can't..." He gasped, lip trembling. "I--I'm hungry, Simon, I---"

"Feel the burn!" The spell hit Baz straight on. Baz screamed. I mean, really, screamed. That spell made someone feel as if their muscles were on fire. It was a forbidden spell, nobody was allowed to use it.

I turned to see the Mage standing beside me, his wand pointed directly at Baz. Baz continued to wither in pain, and I scrambled to stand up.

"Are you alright? Did he bite you?" He asked, and I shook my head, still too shocked to speak. "Good. He'll be tried for trying to attack a mage, and the Chosen One at that. His family had to have known what he was, and it may be enough to get the majority of the Old Families' out of the school. Anyone affiliated with a dark creature should be discredited."

His words seemed to be drowned in my ears. I was staring at Baz who was still shaking on the floor, still sobbing from the pain. "And, I wish you had used a spell, it would have done you good, Simon," The Mage continued. "Even, 'all tied up', would've---"

"You're hurting him," I said, finally being able to find my voice.

"Pardon?" The Mage turned to me.

"You're hurting him!" I snapped, "Stop it! Stop that spell! You're going to kill him!"

"It's not going to kill him," The Mage reasoned.

"Stop!" I said with magic. The Mage rose a thick eyebrow, but listened.

He lifted his wand away from Baz, ending the spell. Baz gasped loudly, and shuddered. Then, he turned over on his side and vomited.

I came to him, falling to my knees, "Baz! Baz, it's alright. We--We're going to get you help," I assured him, my hands shaking as I held onto him. Baz said nothing, but he clutched my shirt and lurched to vomit again.

"Simon, step away from him," The Mage demanded. "You've did your job. You can go back to Watford now."

I didn't say anything. Apart of me was ready to listen. To drop Baz and go back to school. I mean, Baz is my enemy. He's never been good to me. And now that I know he's a vampire, he can be kicked out for good.

But, the tears in his eyes and the pain on his face. It made me think twice.

I looked at the Mage, "How did you know he was here?" I asked him.

"Simon---"

"How did you know!?" I snapped.

The Mage sighed, as if he were annoyed by my question. "I had him held here," He said and my eyes widened, my jaw dropping. "It's all apart of my plan, Simon, and he," he pointed to Baz. "He's right in the middle of it. If we get rid of the boy, Simon and turn the blame to the Old Families, our issues will be virtually nonexistent."

"Have... Have you had him here all summer?" I asked, my mouth dry.

"No, of course not," the Mage scoffed. "Just since the beginning of the school year."

My eyes buldged, "Th--That's almost two months!" I exclaimed, but he waved his head, unconcerned.

"He was getting blood. That's all he needed," The Mage assured him.

"He just tried to bite me!" I cried, still a little shocked. My loudness made Baz inhale, and he shuddered even more.

"Well, I had the numpties stop giving him blood," the Mage explained simply. "I needed my plan to work."

"Your plan!?" I cried, "What if he bit me!?"

"That would have been a downside, yes," he agreed. "But, no more of that. Step away from him, Simon."

"No!" I glared at the Mage, my chest huffing. "No! You're gonna kill him!"

"I'm not going to kill---"

"You just used the 'Feel the burn' spell on him!" I snapped, and even though I didn't say it with magic, Baz still flinched. It made my anger grow even more. I felt my magic rise to the surface with my anger. The haze of red began to fester and grow, and I felt my clothes smoke.

Baz seemed conscious enough to move away, squirming off my lap. The Mage disagrees with that immediately, points his wand at him and says, "That's a wrap!"

Ropes sprout from the end of his wand, seizing Baz's weaker form. He squirms for several seconds, but quickly tires it.

"Leave him alone!" I snapped, and quickly recited the incantation for my sword. He gripped the handle and pointed it at the Mage.

The Mage glowered at me, "Put that away!"

"Leave, and I will!" I retorted.

"You're making a mistake, Simon," The Mage hissed. "Surely you can get it through your thick skull! This will save us! Watford can be powerful again! With him gone and you at my side," The Mage shook his head, as if imagining it was unreasonable. "Simon, the things we could do, together."

"You're mad," I said, my hands shaking. "You're right mad. This is wrong."

The Mage looked at him with a mixture of annoyance and disgust, "You're too blind to the possiblity," he told him plainly. "But, that's okay. I can always make a new Chosen One." He pointed his wand at me.

I only had a second to react. I ducked to the side as he said, "Freeze!" The spell hit the wall, making spikes of ice grow rapidly.

He shot another spell at me, and I evaded, ducking under or around. I raised my sword, but he was faster, and casted, "U can't touch this!" The bubble of protection grew around him from his wand. My sword bounced harmlessly off of his bubble.

Then, he pointed to the ground under my feet. "The floor is lava!" My eyes widened and I ran to Baz. His eyes were wide too as cracks appeared on the floor as the ground began to glow.

I yanked my wand out, "Fly!" The magic buzzed around me, and Baz skyrocketed towards the ceiling. I managed to grab him and jump on top of his coffin just before his head hit the roof.

I stumbled, and nearly slipped on the sizzling ground. My sneakers wouldn't stand a change against it. I used my sword to cut the ropes that held Baz while I watched the Mage.

The Mage dropped his shield, except for his feet, so the burning floor didn't inconvience him. "I had such high hopes for you," he said, but didn't sound remorseful, only disappointed. Then, he pointed his wand at me, "The End."

That was a wicked spell. One used to kill someone. To end them, permanently. And, what made it worse is that was a bouncing spell. On the Minotaur's class, he explained how this particular spell wouldn't stop bouncing until it ended someone. It could go forever.

The spell flew, and I only had a second to think. I jumped off the coffin and onto my back. I had Baz in my arms as my back hit the scorching ground. It seared into my skin and I bit back a scream. The spell made a loud crack when it bounced off the wall, and right back at the Mage.

There was a gasp, and I looked over just as the Mage fell to his knees, and then to his face.

I didn't look for long. His 'The floor is lava' spell gave up immediately, and I sat up, hissing in pain. My back hurt to touch, and I had to keep blinking my eyes to get tears out of them.

"I--I... Is he dead?" I whispered, scared to speak.

"I think so," Baz croaked beside me. I stumbled to my feet and helped Baz stand too. His eyes were red and there were dark bags under them. His cheeks were hollowed, giving his pale skin a more gauntly look.

"What do we do?" I asked, staring at his limp body.

"... Call Fiona."

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BAZ

I was barely holding myself together. I was so tired and hungry and Snow's entire back was bleeding. I squeezed my eyes shut to get my mind off it. I would just go and drain a rabbit or something.

Snow had his arm wrapped around me and helped me out of the cave. It was pathetic, and he smelled so strong of smoke and sweat. I wanted to dig my nose into his neck and inhale his scent.

I swallowed and tried to focus on something else. "Why did you help me?" I asked suddenly.

Snow turned his head to me, his ocean blue eyes made me want to melt. "He was hurting you," Snow said. "I had to."

He stepped outside of the cave and inhaled, for the first time in months tasting fresh air. I could smell the blood of other animals and people. I swallowed, I really needed to feed.

"The Mage was going to kill you," he continued, and I missed a few of his words. "You were screaming and I couldn't... I couldn't leave you like that."

I looked at Snow still so confused. "I tried go bite you," I said dumbly. I wanted to slap myself. Why would I remind him of that!? He knew I was a vampire, but, Crowely, if he knew I was dangerous... Would he stop helping me? Would he turned me in?

The thoughts sent shivers down my spine, and I shuddered. Snow noticed, he always notices. "Are--Are you still, uhm... Hungry?"

"Yes," I said immediately. Then, I realized my fangs had been expose this entire time. I quickly rose a hand to hide them and I looked away.

"It's... It's okay," he said, trying to turn me back to him. "Can you eat here?"

"No, no," I shook my head, "It's too... Public. I wouldn't want to scare a normal."

Snow nodded like he understood. "How are we going to call Fiona?" He asked. I stopped and tried to think. There was probably a cellphone on the Mage, but Snow wouldn't search his body. I could, but I would probably try to feed off of him.

"There could be a payphone somewhere," I suggested.

"It would take us a while to find that, and you have to eat now," Snow said firmly. "How about, I'll cast 'There's nothing to see here' and you go eat. Then, meet me back here."

I nodded, Snow having was new. Usually, it's Bunce with all the brains. "You can go find the payphone," I told him. "I'll find you."

"Are you sure?" I almost smirked. After almost seven years of living with him, I pretty much had his scent down cold. I could find him from across the United Kingdom, if I had to.

"Yes, Snow, now go," I shooed him away. I couldn't stand the scent of his blood for much longer. It was making me a little faint.

Snow took out his wand and pointed it at me. I tensed, usually, he couldn't figure out how to use the damned thing, and made simple spells go wild. "There's nothing to see here!"

I felt it take effect immediately. Snow was watching me and as soon as he casted it, he turned and walked away.

"Be careful," I told him, even though I knew he could hear. Then, I went into the woods.

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Ooo! My first one-shot (not really but shhh)! For those of you who haven't read Carry On by Rainbow Rowell, what are you doing? Go read it, it's great.

TL;DR of Carry On: Basically Harry Potter, but Drarry is canon. Yeah, I'm not kidding. Go read it. You'll love it.

This story ended up a lot longer than I anticipated, but I loved writing for it so much, omg! What do you guys think? Should I continue it? No?

If I do, it'll probably be a while, mainly because I have other stories to write and this is really tempting to just write for all day.

That's it for now! I'll see y'all next time and remember...

Don't melt~!
- Happyritas <OOO