You're on edge at training the night after a nightmare because in it kylo kills you. He sees fleeting images in your head when you're unfocused and asks you if you trust him.

The floor was dark it matched the boots laced up to your knees but contrasted with the sabre at your side. The light beam, a dark pink swiftly sliced through 3 dummies as the motion was completed ending with the blade of light at your left side.

Perfection.

That was the goal, that was your goal. Kylo Ren your master knew this and even he himself was quite impressed with the stamina you had. Even after being 1 of 4 out of 27 who completed his boot camp which was absolutely insane even for skilled fighters, you tended to surprise him. Needless to say he wouldn't be shocked to see you on the training floor at 5 am sharp with dummies to fight or stray lost troopers if you were lucky.

Your hair contrasted the dark leggings and maroon T-shirt you had on. The pony tail was placed in the middle of your head and was constantly whipped around in order to see an approaching enemy.

Today was a little different though. It was rumoured that a potential client of the First Order would be watching training towards the end of the day in order to scout potential body guards for fortunate officials in the trade business.

You were in training at normal time...an hour before it started in order to warm up and prep for incoming trainees. Although you had completed boot camp that didn't mean Master Ren wasn't still your teacher. He...Master Ren decided that after only 4 trainees could rise to his expectations he would consider those 4 his highest ranking and most valuable soldiers. But also continue to regularly train the slackers of the group.

You were by no means the strongest of the 4 but that didn't make you a least favorite. Quite the opposite actually, Ren admired your ability to be confident and yet not cocky. You were the first person to prove that excellence in a skill does not mean that it needs to be shown off. He tried his best to follow your example in that arena.

Often his colleagues got the best of him though.

Master Ren walked in 10 minutes after you had. You were concentrated he could tell from 3 halls away. One of the visitors coming today was a, shall we say relative of yours. Your uncle was one of the richest traders and schemers ever known but he was not a kind man. He often condemned your skills because of how young you were and no amount of practice nor triumph would ever impress the brute.

Ren knew this...he assumed that's what was getting to you.

"Y/N," he called from across the room his back to you.

"Yes, Master Ren."

"Don't be nervous today." He was calm, too calm. You simply nodded your eyes glued to the floor and turned back to the dagger wall.

Trainees began to walk in quickly stretching on the floor.

Your uncle was not the problem today.

Something seemed too real about last night. I'm not going to fight him today...not today.

The dummies were in order as you walked over to the target in front of you. Twirling the dagger in your hand the blade shined with each turn. Your eyes drifted to the target and the whole room was watching as Ren lifted his eyes up from his red sabre beam. The blade rested between the middle and index finger on your right hand. Taking one breath in, with the flick of your wrist, the dagger hit the center mark.

The second blade swam between your fingers again in the air as though it were floating.

"Y/N."

With the flick of your wrist again the dagger hit the edge of the target a centimetre from missing the entire target itself. You looked down towards the ground. Ren squinted his eyes double taking where the dagger had landed. He stepped closer his boot heels drawing closer. Your eyes closed.

Not too close Ren.

"What happened?" He pondered sternly he knew something was off but was it him?

You shrugged your shoulders.

He stared at the back of your head for a moment.

"Come. Duel me now." He blatantly stated turning his back to you as the trainees stood and walked to the walls to watch.

You slowly turned afraid to meet his eyes. Not a single word could be formulated in your head. Not a single one not even an okay or yes sir. The only thing that was in your mind was the nightmare.

Kylo's hooded head stood in front of you. He reached to his belt pulling out the blade of death ignited the weapon and waited. He stood firm unregrettably. His eyes darker than before, hungry for a life a soul to be taken. Your breathing hitched as you finally met his eyes. Your light ones matching the snow on the ground. His straight lips turning into a smirk and a chuckle as the red beam entered your stomach and retracted. He walked away smiling back to his ship.

Your breathing picked up as you reached for your sabre on your left side. Your eyes watering afraid of what was to happen next. Your lip was quivering. As your hand pulled at the hilt a gloved hand held it in its place on the belt. Your eyes raised from the floor to your belt. You couldn't see your hand any longer it was covered by a dark leather one. He held your wrist gently squeezing it as gently as he could. His hair was resting at his cheeks as his head was bent down to look at you more easily than before. His thumb rubbed the inside of your wrist.

"Dismissed!" His booming voice echoed through the walls.

His eyes not leaving where your wrist was positioned. You swallowed once looking up slowly at him.

He stepped back letting go of your wrist. His light sabre was also in his own belt. He knelt down on one knee and then the second standing below you. You finally looked down upon him for once. He looked quite handsome from here.

His arms were outstretched at his sides his palms facing the ceiling.

"Do you trust me?" He asked his voice the only sound in the room. You nodded quickly breaking eye contact. But he shook his head his hair following pursuit. He stood up walking around you. He pulled out his sabre and ignited it. Your chest leaped as a small squeak came from your mouth. You stood completely still. He walked around you slowly pointing his blade at you until he was in front of you.

"Do you trust me?" He asked in the same tone but you gave no answer. Your eyes focused on the tip of the blade only inches from your skin from killing you.

"Y/N." He tried to get your attention as another squeak came from you. His eyes grew much softer.

He scorched his blade and stepped closer. His hand reached straight out towards you.

"I could never. Not to you. I-i couldn't. You're too important to the order...." he whispered the last part... "to...me."

Tears spilled down your cheeks as you backed away from him silently. He regretted what he had done with the blade just now he could tell that you were scared out of your mind he stood quickly leaving his light sabre on the ground. He walked towards you slowly his hands in the air of surrender. You stood still as he approached closer until there was no space. You slowly leaned into him as his arms gently rubbed your back and shoulders. His chin rested on the top of your head.

Your hand was still on your sabre just in case anything were to go wrong.