Author's Note:

Refer to #3 Sad Dreams before this.

Recap...

You saw his shadow, he sat down in front of your door scared you might hurt yourself.

And then you broke down, covering your mouth from the noise. The tears flowed onto your cheeks down to your bed sheets. You're heart was shattering all you could think was.

I'm so sorry Kylo.

I couldn't save you.

...

The next morning all you could think about was how to stop this fate from occurring. You thought about abandoning the Order with him, leaving on your own in hopes he would come find you. Go off to find the Jedi and hunt them yourselves and then it hit you.

If there was one person you had to go through to save his life it would be Supreme Leader Snoke.

Kylo had sat at your door all night in case you had needed him. He secretly hoped you would, he wanted to help you, he hated seeing you break down and he knew your training wasn't a walk in the park. What he didn't know is that it was about to get even harder.

You knew you needed to speak to Snoke alone when you finally got up from bed you saw that Kylo had left, he was called away for a possible lead on a resistance base. You got dressed and headed to Snoke as swiftly as you could.

You heard Snoke speaking as you walked down the long hallway to his hologram you stood directly in front of him.

"Kylo Ren is not who he once was.." He muttered

"Your right He's not strong enough I've seen things I've seen a battle, the battle and he did not succeed and if this were to take place you would be out of time, because you would have lost your best weapon." You explained.

"What are you implying?" Snoke questioned

"I can take his place" you said hesitantly.

"you're not strong enough" he replied

"With your training I will become stronger than he ever could be" you assured

"and your so certain, Why?" Snoke said ignorantly.

"There's light in him I know you've seen it." You explained

"Continue" he said

"I have something he'll never have. A clean slate. I have no connections to the jedi. His family practically runs the resistance it's in his blood. I have no consequences to my actions and I have nothing to lose. But he has history and his allegiance to the order is wavering."

He paused just staring at you surprised as to your commitment to the order. He had no idea you were doing this to save the man you were falling for.

"Your training will begin tonight I will inform Kylo Ren" He yelled

"I have a condition, If I am to take his place. He will not be killed he can still be useful to you. The jedi will still believe his is the one your training and I will be your secret weapon. They won't see me coming they will be focused on his actions because he will remain as the face of the First Order."

"Agreed." He replied with a drawn out voice

"Now Leave me and return when I call for you." and with this he slowly faded away like mist.

...

That night You walked back to Snoke. You opened the door and felt an intense headache, it hit you like a freight train.

"The hell is this for"

"You need to learn to endure pain. Unbearable pain. I suppose you can fight with a saber by now and you can control your surroundings, extremely well from what I've heard from Kylo Ren so the next step is pain. You need to control it and use it against others. This was the next step to his training but he couldn't truly control the force. It needs to fuel your actions."

The headache stopped when he finished his speech.

"Mental pain and Physical are necessary for training today." He declared

"Physical your a hologram" you laughed.

"I didn't say I would inflict all of your pain." He said sternly

"Then who?"

"You will" He implied.

"I will" you repeated slowly looking down towards your feet terrified as to what would happen next.

"You will inflict pain on yourself of your choosing when I say so and I will inflict mental pain to follow, this will be the lesson for today, take a seat." He instructed.

You sat on the ground preparing yourself for the rest of the night.

"Begin"

You punched your arm 10 times and then the headache came again. Then you switched arms and drove 10 more punches to it.

"Again"

You couldn't keep track anymore of which arms to do or if he had even said to inflict pain but you kept going because you knew you were doing this to save the man you admired the most. You couldn't risk losing him to a mistake you would make, He was everything you ever wanted in a man, you could see yourself with him years from now. You wished things weren't this way, but you couldn't think of anything except your aching bones at the moment.

Kylo had come back to your room only to find it empty, and was on his way to Snoke to speak with him about you where abouts.

He opened the door surprised to see his hologram already there but Snoke's eyes were focused on you. Kylo walked up the hallway and saw you on the ground and panic came over him.

You had just passed out from the pain, it had been 3 hours that you had been sitting there enduring the pain form both you and the Supreme Leader. Kylo knelt down to your eye level he gently picked up your hand and saw the bruises on your knuckles. Glancing over your arms he put 2 and 2 together. He rose up and stood in front of you prepared to protect you with his life.

"Why have you done this to my apprentice." Kylo practically screamed.

"Your apprentice has taken your place, she is now mine to command." Snoke explained.

Kylo turned around to face you his eyes were saddened and his jaw practically dropped but he bent down again. His fingertips traced your cheek and all he could mouth was why.