This whole one-shot is a rant about some situation I am going through right now, and I will explain further more on a later note at the end.

-Pumpkin

The whole idea of being in love sounded like some fairytale coming to life. You'll see everything in technicolor, the light finally shows you the way, your heart would beat faster, you feel like you're basically on cloud nine. It almost seems perfect when you're in that kind of state. Though not every thing is not what it seems like. Well, there are sometimes problems, or that certain person is really like that. For instance it could be that they dislike something you like. It's complicated. The worst part could be that this person is someone who you are really close to. Basically, you're fucked.

Sighing hopelessly, she twirled her highlighter between her fingers and blew a lock of her hair away from her face. The lamp in front of her was the only light source she had to show the words on her book while the rest of her room was embraced by the darkness. She couldn't sleep like her best friend who was sleeping like a sloth on her hammock that hung from the wall to the ceiling. In fact, she was too caught up in her thoughts to sleep. Nothing was alright for her and nothing was going to be the same for her again. She thought it was so stupid and impossible, but it happened.

She groaned in frustration and scratched her head furiously. "God, why? Why me?" She leaned against the chair and turned around, seemingly problematic.

There were so many consequences if she would admit them immediately to someone. Her school was practically a living, breathing version of Twitter. Say something that would catch anyone's ear and it would spread out through the school like wildfire. She wouldn't admit them directly, of course. She knew that she was just another high schooler undergoing the stereotypically high school crush. But she asks herself, "Why?" Why this guy? Why him? Why on earth would she fall for someone she has seen as a friend for two whole years? And adding the fact that she has known that he has been in love with someone else since the day she met him.

Was she just oblivious from the start? Did she develop them throughout? Did she like him or love him? She wasn't sure. It's something that's more complicated than the trigonometry homework that was given. She'd rather solve that instead of her own personal problem at the moment. What's the difference of being in a relationship as friends and in a relationship as lovers? Don't they do the same thing as what friends do? Don't friends kiss each other? Well he does, but on the cheeks.

Finally she settled her head down on the desk and sobbed silently in the inside. She doesn't want anyone to know about this. Of course, she'll tell her best friend, but then what? Nothing could change their relationship between them.

"Lets review..." She sighed and said her thoughts aloud. "One, he likes someone else. Two, he is younger than I am by a year. Three, he sees me as a sister-figure. And four... Four... FOUR..." She slapped her face with both of her hands. "And four, he likes Ludwig."

"Yo!" A pillow was thrown against her head. "Pipe it down will you? And sleep already, it's three in the morning!"

"Yeah, yeah." She stretched her arms and turned the lamp off before surrendering herself into her soft and cozy bed.

●●●●●●●

"Ciao bella!" (Y/n) looked behind her locker door groggily to see the cheery Italian boy. Her heart fluttered a bit and her grogginess seemed to slip away.

"Morning Feli." She gave a soft smile.

The day seemed to brightened up a bit. There were things she liked about the Italian boy. An example was why she liked him is because he's nice and cheerful. An open-minded guy who was very artistic. He'd join school activities and, even if he wasn't that good at them, he manages to master it a bit in a short amount of time. The guy never fails to cheer her up. Then again, he was always nice to everyone. Regardless of who the heck you were, he's nice. So his persona was out of the question why she fell.

"How's the event going?" She asked and grabbed some of her books. "Is the teacher still on with the show?"

"They picked me to represent for our club!" He cheered. "I'm going to represent the art club as one of the representatives for Mister Jubilee."

It was the school's diamond jubilee year, so they had all sorts of events that would be for the good of the school. The Mister & Miss Jubilee pageant was one of the most awaited competitions since 1997, when the pageant stopped.

Everyone had to say it at least thrice, Feliciano is handsome. Even if he looks so innocent, there was always the fact that he could be hot at times. One of the reasons why he's handsome was because of his heritage and the fact that the rest of his family were composed of good looking men, including his other relatives. The Mediterranean look was definitely some girls look for in guys. Though, (Y/n) has called him a handsome boy countless times before. If she liked him for looks, it would've been ages ago. Falling for his looks was out of the question.

"Any news about Eurovision?" She kicked her locker closed. "I heard your country sent in a gorilla." He started to ramble about the contest as he helped her carry her books.

She had to admit. She used to love Eurovision so much. The fangirl in her died once she moved to another country, and then started to move everywhere. She wanted to watch the stream, but every time she wanted to, she was either on a flight or in an area with no wi-fi. She stopped watching for a few years until Feliciano showed up in her life. She found herself getting attached to a few things she loved back then because he loved them too. He showed her the colorful meaning of a music contest again. Eurovision wasn't the only thing though. When she found out Feliciano lobed anime too, she started to watch again after how many years. Catching up with series and binge watching with him on late nights, it sounded like what couples would do. Maybe she started to fall there?

Then there were the dislikes he liked.

"No way, England's cooking is the worst!" She stuck her tongue out as a sign of disgust. "How do you eat scones that taste like rocks and sand paper?"

"His cooking is alright, you know!" He protested. "He just needs more practice, that's all."

There was something they both didn't agree on. There are a lot of things, but it's how a relationship is, no matter on what level.

Now there was some of the teasing too. People would look at the both of them down the halls of the high school building and think: "They look so cute togther," or, "Are they a couple?" The fact that people take it that way, it sort of makes her a bit flustered. People shipped her with him. It was cute at first, taking it not too personally and all, but it chanhed when she realized her feelings. The thoughts on how he looked with her. Good? Bad? Compatible or not? She felt a bit proud of herself.

"Ciao Ludwig!" His greeting towards the tall German made her feel a bit sad.

"Hello Feliciano." The German greeted sternly before passing by.

She looked at him with her eyebrow up and a smirk on her face that made the Italian blush. "Commencing step three already?"

The reason why she had no chances with him because he already likes someone. It didn't matter to her what his sexuality was. She respected him and decided that she'll show her love in supporrting him. She knows that she can never get him to fall for her. There was no bitterness between them for that. Feliciano was attracted to men and women, but the way he looks at him and how he speaks to him. Nervous and shy at times, but with a visible sign of happiness in his eyes. It's like what her parents said: "If someone is truly in love with someone, they don't act confident in front of them, but they act nervously." Feliciano and Ludwig are like that to each other. She's happy that they've found each other to love. She respects that.

"Bella? (Y/n)?" She snapped out of her thoughts and stared at Feliciano dreamily. "Are you okay?"

"W-What?" She panicked and shook her head. "Yeah, yeah. The trig homework last night was a bitch, I'm sorta lost today."

"Explains the sock then." She looked down to see her socks mismatched.

"Fuck."

The school vell finally rang as everyone started to go their first periods. Feliciano and Ludwig went the other way since they were in the same grade. (Y/n) went rhe opposite way and smiled to herself.

I'll always love you, even if you don't see me the way I see you.

Basically, this is my whole situation right now. I like a friend of mine that I've known for two years. Yes, he is a year younger than me and he is super nice. Like seriously guys, he is the nicest guy you'll ever meet. The other things are true too, but I used Eurovision instead of what he loves because I know that one of my classmates is a reader of this and I don't want her to know about this HAHAHAHA! Sorry bes! But in all seriousness, I just realized this last week and I've told a few close friends about it, and now every time we see him, they tease me about it. I swear to god that they are the worst. The guy part? True. He likes a guy. He's bi. My friend told me that she thinks I still have a chance with him, but I told her that I don't. Reasons: 1. He sees me as a sister and friend. 2. He likes someone else. 3. Pretty sure that he finds me somewhat too loud. I like being around crowds, even if I don't want to talk. Like as long as I am with people around me, I'm fine. Unlike him, he's shy. Sort of. Towards other people he knows, he's a ray of sunshine who will be enthusiastic 24/7. He's such a cute bean to be honest.
Anyways, Auf Wiedershen for now! I am sleepy as fuck and I need my sleep to reach my height goal.

-Pumpkin