Requested by WeirdoTown (thanks!)

Type: Someone taught Logan something and now everyone's regretting it/Part of Thomas AU

Ship: Analogical, background Moceit

Warning: Drinking, alcohol

"LOGAN I HAVE AN IDEA!" Roman shouts.

"You don't have to shout, and what is it?" Logan asks.

"Yeah, I just wanted to. So here's the thing..." Roman says.

---

Logan grins at the idea. It was annoying and a good way to cheer his boyfriend up. Thomas had tripped and fallen in front of a cute guy two weeks ago, and Virgil is still thinking about it.

"I'm worthless," Virgil mutters.

Logan bursts into his room, hearing that.

"Y'ALLSEHOOD! You, buckeroo, are not a sksksksksk oop!" he shouts.

Virgil stumbles back like someone hit him in the chest.

"ROMAN I SWEAR TO GOD-" he shouts.

"Now, would you laddie like to see mah hydroflask? Sksksksksks save the turtles!" Logan says.

He dabs.

"If I wanted an idiot for a boyfriend I'd date literally anyone else besides Patton," Virgil says.

"AND I OOP-" Logan shouts.

Logan is definitely enjoying this dare.

"What is it?" Roman asks, coming up to Virgil's room.

Virgil gestures to Logan.

"This was either you or Remus. ...Or Janus. .....Or Patton. Actually, nevermind, you'd all want to screw with me like this," he says.

"Well, I don't know what you're talking about. Logan always talks like that," Roman smirks.

Virgil is screaming inside.

"JANUS!" he shouts.

Within a minute, Janus is at his door.

"Howdy," Logan says.

"Please help," Virgil pleads.

"With what?" Janus asks.

"Logan being ridiculous and Roman telling me I'm crazy," Virgil says.

"That's not true. Remus is crazy. You're just unstable if you think Logan is being weird," Janus says.

Virgil groans.

"That doesn't sound very scrunchie-tastic partner!" Logan says.

"Vsco girls don't even say scrunchie-tastic!" Virgil says.

"How would you know?" Roman asks.

"Because of the entire month when Remus decided to go Vsco," Virgil says.

What a horrible month it was.

"Ya mean speak like us normal folk?" Logan asks.

Virgil grabs his pillow and screams into it.

"Is my dark strange son ok?" Patton asks, coming over.

"No, he's perfectly fine," Janus says, walking away.

"Which is the lie?!" Patton asks.

Janus shrugs and doesn't answer.

"The sksksksksksksksk first!" Logan says.

"I am going to kill all of you," Virgil says.

"Y'allsehood!" Logan says.

Virgil screams into his pillow again.

"I- I'm done. I'm going to go get some coffee and pray this is a fever dream," he says, getting up and leaving.

"Remember to save the turtles, partner!" Logan says.

Virgil goes to the Dark Side's side and finds Janus.

"I'm half-convinced this is a fever dream. But if it isn't, I don't want to deal with it," he says.

"I don't have a clue what you're talking about, but I assume you want a drink?" Janus asks.

Virgil nods.

"But I told the others I was getting coffee," he says.

Janus hands him a mug.

"Irish coffee," he says.

Virgil chugs it.

"Fine by me. Got any more?" he asks.

---

"Sksksksksksksk! Yer partner has arrived and found a metal straw!" Logan says, walking into the Dark Sides kitchen.

Virgil is passed out on the couch and Janus is laughing on the floor.

"What happened here?" Logan asks.

"A few things. First, did you know Virgil used to put spider webs in his hair to make it whiter? That's both adorable and stupid!" Janus says.

"No, but I will keep that in mind," Logan says, "So why is he passed out?"

"Oh, he needed a drink. Be glad he didn't go to Remus," Janus says.

"Yes, well, Remus can get rid of drunkenness and hangovers," Logan says.

"Then drag him to him. I, meanwhile, have some Vodka I'd like to enjoy," Janus says.

"I will call Patton," Logan says.

Janus puts the bottle back.

"Nevermind," he says.

"I'm calling him anyway," Logan says, "PATTON, YOUR BOYFRIEND FOUND THE VODKA!"

Patton appears in a second and takes Janus to the ground.

"NOT ON MY WATCH!" he shouts, "GET ON TOP OF THE FRIDGE!"

"THIS HOUSE IS A FLIPPING NIGHTMARE!" Janus shouts.

"Have fun, you two," Logan says, picking up Virgil and going up to Remus's room.

He knocks on the door, but it sounds strange. Logan sighs. It's a wall.

"You called, Logie?" Remus asks, coming up behind him.

He tips his cowboy hat.

"I did. First, Virgil is passed out. Can you wake him up and get rid of his hangover? And second, I need that hat for the rest of the prank," Logan says.

"Deal and deal!" Remus says.

---

Virgil wakes up in his room, but he has a scrunchie on his wrist, a cowboy hat, and a headache.

"Ah, you've fin'ly decided to wake up! Drinking was a total sksksksksksk and I oop-" Logan says.

"I'll do it again if you don't stop," Virgil says.

"No can do, partner," Logan says.

"Screw it, I'm going back to sleep," Virgil says.

"That's not very cash money of you," Logan whispers.

Virgil lets out a groan that turns into a scream.

"That's not even- I'm losing my mind. That's it. I'm losing my mind," he says.

Virgil ties his scrunchie in his hair the best he can and grabs his cowboy costume. He has a full one from when Roman and Remus got really obsessed with Toy Story.

"Howdy, m' lady. I am gonna go sksksksksk my ass over to the hydroflask place and get something to save the turtles!" he says.

Logan looks at him in shock. He's broke his boyfriend, hasn't he?

Virgil wanders downstairs and Logan follows him. As Virgil sinks out to who-knows-where, Logan calls down Roman.

"Your plan backfired. He's doing it now," Logan says.

Roman grins.

"Goodluck," he says.

Ok so I'm not a southerner. Or a vsco person. So I based this off of what Tumblr speaks in when they talk like cowboys and what I heard the Vsco girls of 2019 saying at school. I hope this is what it's supposed to be, peace out, my peeps!