Type: I tried being amusing/Part of Thomas AU/chaotic

Ship: Creativitwins (Platonic)

It all started out with Remus trying to kill Roman. It was nothing new, and this time Roman was prepared.

Remus whistled softly as he walked over to his brother's door. He pulled out his mace and barged in.

He was about to shout but was immediately covered in flour, the one food he didn't like eating. Remus would chug straight vegetable oil, but if you asked him to eat flour or a tomato, he would both die inside and try to kill you.

"Really? F-" he breaks into a coughing fit, "Flour?"

"I knew it! I knew you'd be here!" Roman says, popping out of his closet.

"Roman, I swear to-" Remus splitters.

"NO SWEARING!" Patton shouts from downstairs.

"I wasn't going to," Remus mutters.

"So were you here to kill me or whine about why nobody wants to hear your extra ideas?" Roman asks.

"Probably both," Remus says, "Mostly to kill you,"

Roman nods.

"Ah. Well, you failed, so see you later," he says.

"Oh, I will," Remus murmurs as he leaves, making sure to shake off most of the flour on Roman's carpet.

Roman scowls as he grabs his vacuum. He didn't think the flour thing through, but it did prevent him from getting attacked for the day, so there was that.

Remus goes back to his side of the Mindscape, trying to think up a way to get back at Roman for this. Then it hit him. He should fight fire with fire. 

Remus summons some supplies and rushes back to Roman's door. He hears him singing behind it, so he has a solid hour before he comes out.

Remus sets up his contraption, along with a hidden camera, so he can watch the action unfold without his brother being able to attack him. He's not an idiot; once Roman gets furious and access to his katana, things can get ugly.

An hour passes, and as Remus predicts, Roman comes out of his room. Only he opens his door and sprints out, which Remus was not expecting. So Roman narrowly avoids the slurry of skunk spray, half-melted butter, and slime that falls in front of his door. Remus scowls and realizes he'll need a better plan.

"REMUS!" Roman shouts.

"Princey, I just had to listen to an hour of your singing. You think you can shut it?" Virgil asks, opening his door.

"NO! Look what he did! Think of the damages he could have caused to my suit! Or my hair!" Roman shouts.

Virgil rolls his eyes. With a snap of his fingers, he summons a mop and bucket.

"We all have the same hair, and you have 20 suits. Clean that up before someone slips," he says, slamming his door before Roman can respond.

Roman grumbles as he mops up the disgusting slurry. He would definitely be getting Remus back for this.

---

"Hey Patton," Logan asks, "Do you know where the-"

He stops when he hears a crash from the kitchen. Then glass shattering.

"That better not be my Crofter's," Logan mutters, rushing downstairs.

He finds that while his jam is safe, the wine glasses were not.

"What is going on here?" he asks.

"He started it!" Roman and Remus both say at the same time.

Logan sighs.

"Who broke the glass?" he asks.

"Roman," Remus says.

"Launching me into the cabinet doesn't count!" Roman says.

"Technically, it was your body that broke them, so yeah, it's your fault. And I didn't even touch you!" Remus says. 

Logan looks behind them and sees a square foot of carpet with a spring attached, almost like it was from a cartoon. That must have been what launched Roman into the cabinets.

"Roman, are you ok?" Logan asks.

Roman nods.

"I'm fine. Just bruised. But Remus, you're about to be much worse than that!" he shouts, turning to his brother.

Remus blows a raspberry.

"Not if you can't catch me!" he shouts, racing up the stairs.

Logan sighs and starts trying to figure out how to fix the cabinet. He didn't have to worry about the broken glass, as he could just snap his fingers and the glass would return to normal. He made sure they could, as he anticipated them breaking. But not the cabinet, which left him with a much larger challenge.

Upstairs, Roman and Remus have gotten into a fistfight, while Patton debates whether he should intervene.

"Uh, guys? Maybe you should-"

"NOT NOW, PATTON!" they both shout.

If this wasn't so common, Patton would have intervened.

As they fight, Roman manages to push Remus off and escape to his room. While he didn't want to retreat, he wanted to get ideas to get back.

---

Roman had a plan. He was going to burn all of Remus's deodorants. Remus never actually used them in the first place, he only ate them, so this would be fun.

In the morning, while he was asleep, Roman snuck into his brother's room and grabbed all the deodorants. From every place he could think of.

He took them all out of the containers, put them in a pile, and got the gasoline and lighter.

"Oh Remus!" he shouts.

Remus comes flying down the stairs.

"Did Virgie finally- hey, is that my deodorant?" he asks, spotting the white pile on the floor.

Roman nods. He douses it in gasoline and lights it. The smell was not pleasant.

Within a few minutes, the fire alarm went off and the other four sides came down the stairs. Actually, Virgil had to be dragged out of his room and down the stairs by a concerned Patton.

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?!" Janus shouts.

"Yes, please explain," Logan says, barely keeping his calm.

Roman and Remus look at each other. Then at the others.

"Science!" they both say.

Science. Their cover for when stuff like this happens.

"Heh. Is this 'we didn't start the fire' but literal?" Virgil asks, very sleep-deprived.

The twins both nod.

"Just put out the fire so we can go back to bed," Janus says, very used to this, as he lives with Remus full-time.

"I don't think we should leave that to them," Logan says.

"I'll do it," Patton says, "You take Virgil back to his room and lecture him on why it's not ok to say 'just ten more minutes' in the middle of a fire,"

Logan nods and drags Virgil back upstairs.

"Kiddos, you both need to stop," Patton says.

The two shrug.

"We could end it with an ultimate prank battle in the imagination," Roman says.

"Or we could watch horror movies and try to murder whoever falls asleep first," Remus suggests.

"How about that but with Disney movies?" Roman asks.

"Sounds good. As long as I get to point out every detail I notice," Remus nods.

Roman shrugs.

"Could be worse," he says.

The two go up to the imagination, where they could both fight and watch movies. Everyone else is more relieved that they stopped destroying things to care about the noise they're making.

I have no idea what I'm writing here, but it's a thing. And it's not another romantic, so there's that. Anyway, requests are still open! Peace out, my peeps!