Every day I think about the lies I've told, the people that I have cheated, all the horrible things that I have inflicted towards others. Sometimes I think that the people in life are people in distress and I'm the hero to save them, but that's wrong, they're in distress because I put them in distress. The days grow longer as I quiver in fright from the monster that I have become. I can look at a mirror and I can see myself as a monster, I don't know what kind of monster I am as in what actual monster I am on the inside but I can see it through my reflection. I am horrified at the thought that I am possibly hurting people today but I can't help it, I'm a mess and I know it, there is nothing in this world that can cure me of my monster-like poison. Until I met her, just as beautiful as a full moon, brighter than the sun, she's the only person that I see anymore, she is the cure to this poison I have, the only person to keep me sane. Now to this day I think about her and her wonderful features, not like bodily features, but everything about her, her personality, the way she laughs just makes me laugh along with her, and the way she likes me back just makes me feel exuberant. She makes me feel like I'm human again, she makes me feel like I have something important to live for in my life, the way she smiles at me makes my heart melt and makes me sigh in love for her. She sees me as an innocent damsel in distress, but in reality I'm a ruthless, heartless monster ready to sink my teeth into anyone I see. But this feeling that she makes me feel makes me feel normal and I am unable to sink my teeth into her, knowing that her being hurt makes me feel more of a monster than ever before, like now I feel like a single monster but if I hurt her in any way, shape, or form I'll feel like every monster has been in a lab and put all their DNA together and I become that monster. This feeling that she radiates off to me cures my poison and turns me human for the time I am around her and feeling like a human feels so right like this is who I am, not some monster that I'm used to being. The feeling of being a monster when I'm not around her feels so wrong, like I'm being stabbed in the chest several hundreds of millions of times, and when I'm around her I feel nothing wrong like the pain never existed. The way I feel around her doesn't even start with the best feeling in the world, like the feeling humans get when eating ice cream, or spending time with their children, all those feelings that humans feel is nothing to what I feel around her, she is what makes me human, she is the missing puzzle piece to my jigsaw puzzle in life, the yin to my yin and yang, she is everything that I've ever needed. The way she looks into my eyes, it feels like she just penetrated through my soul like a steel bullet being shot through a piece of paper. I said she makes me feel human but I've figured out that she doesn't make me feel human, she completely makes me human, like all my monster DNA inside my body disintegrates and ceases to exist, it's like when I'm around her she notices some sort of monster, ignores it and completely destroys it. She makes the monster inside me afraid of to show and I am super grateful that she does this to this wicked monster inside. However, this monster doesn't just live inside me, it has full control over me at certain times, the day the monster took over me I will never forget, there I was fighting for my life against the high school bully, the strongest in the school, when all of a sudden he decided to pick on me and threw me on the ground. I heard this voice in my head saying "Do something, come on fight back" so I told myself I couldn't do it, I couldn't fight back, but then I got up and swung at the guy with no control over my body, a monster was unleashed and I nearly killed the guy, I was about to but then I had control over my body again and backed away and ran, I ran away from school and decided to be home schooled until I could control the monster inside that was just born. Every now and then the monster decides to take over because it *needs* to eat and it makes me eat a squirrel, a stray dog, anything that entered into our yard it decided to eat it. I was weak in the presence of the monster and it eventually had complete control of my life, I was trapped inside my mind as the monster had full control of my body. After I met her I had some sort of control against the monster but the monster takes control every now and then, but not around her, around her I have full control of my body like she kills the monster inside temporarily so I can spend time with her. I just want to be next to her at all times so this monster can leave for good, but the monster inside takes control of me to try and keep me away from her. The monster has full control of me on nights of a full moon and I'm afraid it's going to find her and kill her when he is strongest. However, during a new moon I have full control of the monster like during a new moon that's when he is weakest. So I take advantage of this when a new moon is about to come I spend as much time with her as possible, but when a full moon is about to happen I run away from her as fast as I can so nothing bad happens to her. Without her I will have no control over my life whatsoever, the monster will have control over me whenever he wanted. One day I will overcome this monster burning inside of me and I will be able to live my life the way it was supposed to turn out. The way I had hoped my life would turn out is happy and peaceful but I've lived my life in pain and agony, I just wanted to live my life in peace and harmony, but my life is just miserable with this monster inside me. I'm afraid she's going to find out that I'm a monster and she'll abandon me and I'll never feel like a human again. That's my one fear, losing her, the one that makes me human, no the only one that makes me human. I sit in a cave so I don't hurt anyone else that might have an impact on my life, especially her, if she ever died I would die as well, because she's my soulmate but she doesn't know it yet because I haven't told her, although if I do tell her I might be able to stay calm and be able to control this monster inside me, but on the other hand she will see my as the monster I am and want nothing to do with me and the monster will have even more control than he had before. But the monster tries to take over me when I am around her, and I almost give in, just almost give in. I told her who I was, how we were soulmates and how whenever I'm around her the monster backs off a little, and she took it in and hugged me, the only thing I felt was the monster burn inside me and the pain of the monster telling me to get away, but I sunk into the hug and it seemed that the monster completely left and abandoned me, I was free of the monsters hold of me and I could live my life the way I wanted to, happy and with the one I love. Oh that's right I forgot my name, my name is crush, well that's what people call me, my real name is Jackson Hughmore. I know it's a weird name, but it's my name so I don't care what other people think of my name. I also never said who the love of my life was either, her name is Gwendolyn Nunbury but people like to call her Gwen. When I'm around her I feel like I need her in my life, like I am destined to grow up with her. Just the way she looks at me makes me feel alive, whenever she touches me I can feel myself melting in her touch and making me want her even more than I already did. So this one time a man came up to me while I was with Gwen and punched me for no good reason, Gwen felt it too, I wanted to get him back but he hit me so hard I passed out. I woke up but I wasn't in reality, I was in the mindscape and I was walking around and found the memory aisle, and when I walked in I saw all the things the monster did to me, every painful, agonizing, and torturous thing the monster did to me flooded back to me, so I ran out of the memories and didn't pay attention where I went. After opening my eyes I found out that I had wondered into the locked memories area. As I walked in I saw every bad memory that has happened to me, and then I saw the things happening to her, then the monster showed up. "Well, well, well, if it isn't you, why did you do it, you're just going to get her killed now" he was right, I was going to get her killed. I decided to make a deal with him, whenever I needed to defend myself he would take control but other than that I was in full control. I shook his hand and the deal was set. I woke up in reality and my eyes went from being normal human eyes to white glowing eyes but it wasn't like the other times where I looked like the monster, I was in full control of what the monster could do and not do. So I used the monsters power to defeat the man that hit me for no reason, after all he threatened to kill Gwen, and if she died I died. So I channeled all the power into one punch and hit the man, he passed out after the blow, then my eyes returned to normal and the monster said something to me that I'll never forget, "Whenever you need my power just ask me and I'll supply it." I had finally made peace with the monster. From that day forward any body that messed with me or Gwen got what they asked for and never bothered us again. I could finally live my life with her and nothing could get in my way, nothing at all.