I am shattered. There is constant arguments from friends. I want it to end. I don't hear from you. You, the one who helps. Who saves me. I wish I could hear from you. I wish so dearly you would save me. When I'm in desperate need of saving. Because it's becoming so hard. And it feels as if nobody cares. People never help. They just keep defending their horrors, never caring, always selfish.

      People always fight. They don't care. There is no compassion. No love. People say family is always there for you, but sometimes, they aren't. They're against you. And others, they demand you see perspective, but never ask your own. And now, I'm shattered. I'm waiting, pining, suffering, because of what happened. I'm begging in my mind to hear from you, for you to finally hear me, to hear me and actually listen. Listen and not judge, listen and don't hate me as I break. I've hid from so many, and nobody seems to care. I have feelings, that most people discard. And when people care, they disappear faster than ever.

I wish I could hear from you. I wish I could breathe. I wish I wasn't suffering. That's all that seems to be happening, that I am suffering. From the silence, terrors created in my mind, or just plain fear. The panic I have felt is destroying me. Yet, it isn't panic that is slowly killing me. It is the fact that I have been hurt. I have been hurt far too much. For so long. I feel as if this day has been torture. But I now have seen some joy. But I have also been so embarrassed. Some who know nothing on certain topics act out of hand. And I can no longer breathe. The storms that come and go terrify me. The sounds of distant thunder make me shake. The lighting makes me flinch. There is so much fear, from something that can't even harm me. And those who care, aren't always around. And that's when it always hits. The panic. And I so greatly despise it.

      And now, now loneliness is constant. A companion almost. Nobody comes around on some days. The loneliness hits then. And it's like boredom turned dark. That the boredom turned into such a lonely feeling. Tears prick the edge of my vision, unable to leave. Because of me. I won't let them. I won't let people see that loneliness hurts. That it's slowly killing me. I speak too quickly, and once they know, they may find me crazy. They may think I just want attention when I really don't. I just want to feel wanted. I just want to feel like I am enough. I want someone to care, and you, you care. And somehow, even if you tell me that I can tell you, I don't. I don't want to feel like a burden. I don't want you to have to cater to my needs. I don't want to seem like I need constant reassurance. Even if I do. I want to be seen as good. But sometimes it becomes too much. And even then, I rarely tell. I just want to speak, but I never let myself. I don't want to burden the people I care about. And right now, it's all too much. Too much loneliness, too many feelings of dread. And most the time, I don't know why. Why it exists. And why it won't leave. The constant loneliness that is weighing me down. Every day is painful almost. I always try to be someone who is likable. Because so many have disposed of me like waste. Like I am a tool. The problem is I shouldn't be affected by this. By this loneliness. I have lived through so much loneliness. I have been alone. This shouldn't hurt as much as it is. I should be fine. And I'm not. I feel so stupid. I feel so weak. I feel like I should be stronger. But I'm not. So many days go by, where loneliness exists. It exists more than it should. And then becomes even worse. Worse as night arrives, when it always tortures me. Where the thoughts become so dark, that I can barely breathe. But always in the end I remain as I am. Shattered.
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Welcome to the end of this very.. sad one-shot. I don't know what else to say, other than it's just a bunch of feelings to write out. I hope I didn't make any of you cry. Comment and vote if you wish. 'Till next time.

       Much Love,
Empress_Of_Night