Sometimes don't we all just hate reality? You're never free. Happy. Because in the real world there are bullies. There are people to hate you even if you've done nothing. They make you want to give up. You fall in love to be broken. But somehow, still love them anyway. You and I are victims huh..? Victims of the treacherous thing called reality. Because you broke me, but somehow, I still love you. You save me. You remove the darkness. I feel safe with you. And I'm grateful for that.

People love to hurt me. It's something we both know. And somehow, you defend me. You assure me that all will be fine. That you and my friends are here. But I'm so terribly scared. They'll come back. And if they don't, the bad thoughts will. You keep those away too. But they love revenge. Because it causes me pain. My bad thoughts.. they.. are hateful to my joy. But you ignite me. You start the fire in my soul. You make me whole.

But here I am again, living another painful reality. Hating my existence. Hating everything about me. Like the rest of the world says I should. Because to everyone else, I am just a nobody. Living in a broken reality. Making up daydreams so I don't die. That's how bad I am at living. I'm such a failure that even my brain tells me how awful I am at everything. I am wrong to them. To them, I am a mistake. I talk with you and you make it better, until you say those words that break me. And I can't help it, I'm so in love with you that I can't leave, and you're just perfectly fine, while I'm breaking down. I'm breaking so miserably, and nobody really cares. I wish you cared enough to ask what everyone else asks. If I'm really okay. Because in reality, I'm never okay. But nobody cares. Because I'm just something to be used. But you do ask and you do care. But sometimes, you can't see me breaking slowly.

A new plan. Maybe, just maybe I'll be liked more. Maybe they'll stop bullying me. All I have to do.. Not eat. I'll become skinny. Thats what they want, right? Because I'm ugly. Because I'm fat. And you.. will you be mad? I hate making you upset, because it hurts me. I'm such a weak excuse for a human being. I'll never be good enough. And I hate that. I despise myself for being so unlikable. I don't understand what my friends see in me. You, the one I love, called me beautiful. But I'm really not. I despise my doubt. Because I'm afraid it'll make you hate me. I don't want you to hate me. Because I love you. Seeing the time. 11:11. What have I done right? What have I done to be seen as good? Say I love you? Because it's the honest truth? But in reality nobody cares about someone like me.

      I keep making mistakes. I say something, and I'm looked at like I'm crazy. I made you upset. I can tell. I messed up again. I'm a horrible mistake. I despise myself. I keep saying stuff that's bad. People probably regret being my friend. You won't even reply.. I'm such an awful mistake. I am broken. You're with someone else now. And I'm still pining after you. I'm such a failure at life. Maybe what they said was true. Maybe I should be dead. Maybe it's better off. Maybe I'm better off alone. Maybe I'm better off dead. Maybe I don't deserve anyone. I am broken inside. You have moved on it seems. And you know what..? I. Give. Up. I'm tired of living in a world where if you aren't what society wants, you're better off dead. I'm TIRED of FIGHTING MYSELF DAILY. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep. And I'm tired of being alive. But I won't give up because I can't hurt you. My friends. Maybe I'm better off alone. But maybe I'm not. I can't tell anymore. But what's certain is I live in a harsh reality I want to escape.
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Welcome to the end of this emotional one-shot. Sorry if I made anyone cry.

Leave a comment, vote, and all that stuff and I'll see you in the next one shot.

      Much Love,
Empress_Of_Night