- "I'm sorry, but your tumor has developed much faster than out expectation."
- The doctor's words kept repeating inside your brain as you ran up the stairs to the hospital's rooftop.
- You vision was blurred by the tears in your eyes but you kept running.
- Severely out of breath, you pushed the door open & stepped out into open air.
- The sky was a shade of beautiful light blue, the exact opposite of your dark bleak future.
- "Arghhh!" You leaned your body over the edge of the wall & screamed your lungs out.
- Why? Why is life so unfair? I'm only 18, why do I have to suffer from such terrible disease?
- You lowered your head & let your tears dropped onto the concrete floor.
- A sudden determination formed in your mind.
- You climbed up the ledge & looked down at the lush green lawn eight stories below.
- I don't want to suffer anymore. Let's just end this right now.
- You closed your eyes & lifted your right foot.
- "Ya." A voice from behind startled you.
- You stepped backwards & turned around.
- A guy with a crutch was looking up at you. His skin was so pale that it looked almost translucent, his red hair glowed under the bright sun.
- He dropped his crutch & climbed up beside you with difficulties.
- "What are you doing?!" Your eyes widened in surprise at his action.
- "Ahh.. What a nice weather. The view is great from up here, isn't it?" He smiled.
- You stared at him like he was crazy.
- "Who the hell are you?" You asked.
- "Have you ever thought about what's going to happen if you take that leap? Will your heart stop before you reach the ground? Will your head split like a smashed watermelon? How will your parents react when they see your blood splattered all over the green grass? Will you finally feel at peace?"
- He turned to face you, his stare was unnerving but you couldn't look away.
- "I- I-" You stuttered.
- "I have. I've stood here more than a dozen times but I've never dared to take that leap. Should we do it together now? Maybe I'll feel less miserable if I have company." He said without expression.
- "You crazy jerk." Feeling scared of him, you immediately jumped down from the ledge & rushed towards the door.
- "Don't ever come here again. Suicide doesn't suit a pretty girl like you." He turned around & smiled.
- "Crazy jerk." You muttered under your breath & ran downstairs as fast as you could, ignoring the piercing pain in your chest.
- "Y/n ah! Where did you go?! I was very worried!" Your mom exclaimed when she saw you coming closer.
- You didn't answer & kept walking towards your mom's car.
- You glanced up at the rooftop & could faintly make out that guy's red hair on the edge.
- "Crazy jerk." You whispered to yourself & got into the car.

- Your condition had deteriorated rapidly so your parents decided to submit you to the hospital to receive more intensive treatments.
- You were sitting alone on a bench in the hospital lawn, kicking at the grass, when suddenly you felt someone sitting beside you.
- "You?!" You exclaimed in shock when you saw the red-haired guy from that day.
- "Hey. How are you doing?" He asked.
- "It was better before I saw you." You stood up abruptly to leave.
- But a sharp pain in your chest made you sit back down again.
- "Are you alright?" He touched your arm & asked in concern.
- "Don't touch me!" You shook his hand away as you clutched your chest.
- He stared at you in silence for a few seconds before he opened his mouth again.
- "Being such a spiteful prick won't help with your recovery, you know?"
- You glared at him & rose from your seat without saying a word.
- "I'll see you around." He yelled at your back but you didn't stop, wishing inside that you wouldn't see him again.

A few days later
- "Y/n ah, you need to eat something. Your body won't be able to take it if you don't eat." Your mom pleaded.
- "I'm not hungry." You pushed away the plate of food in front of you, your body hurting all over from the chemotherapy.
- "Please, Y/n ah. Just one spoonful, oh?" She hovered the spoon in front of your lips.
- "I told you I'm not hungry!" You yelled at her & harshly pushed her hand away, spilling the food all over your blanket.
- "It's ok. I'll clean it up." Your mom readily rose from her seat to grab some napkins.
- "Eomma, why can't you just let me die?" You asked in a low voice.
- The napkins she was holding dropped onto the floor, her mouth gaped in shock at your question.
- "I won't let you die! You'll get better soon Y/n ah. Just bear with it for a little longer, oh?" She looked like she was about to cry.
- You hated seeing your mom like this.
- You knew you were the cause of her tired face & bloodshot eyes.
- Sometimes, you wished that you could die faster so that your mom wouldn't suffer anymore.
- "I'm going to go for a walk." You got off your bed & grabbed your IV drip stand.
- "Ok, I'll accompany you." She instantly said.
- "No. I want to be alone. Please just wait here & get some rest." You smiled faintly at her & walked out of the room.
- You walked through the halls & corridors, stopping from time to time to catch a breath.
- Then, you heard music coming from the recreational room.
- You peeked into the room, someone was playing the piano.
- To your surprise, it was the red-haired guy.
- You stared at him from afar, enjoying his harmonious tunes.
- "You can come closer if you want. I won't bite." He suddenly turned to you.
- Embarrassed of being found out, you readily turned around to leave.
- "It feels lonely playing without an audience. Would you please kindly be my audience? I promise I won't say anything that annoys you." He said.
- You hesitated for a few moments before you finally walked into the room & sat down on one of the couch.
- "Thanks. What's your name btw?" He smiled.
- "You said you wouldn't say anything that annoys me." You replied awkwardly without looking at him,
- "Huh.. Ok. I'll just play then." He sighed.
- "Y/n. My name is Y/n." Heat began to creep on your cheeks.
- "Well, nice to meet you Y/n. I'm Yoongi." He said & then he started playing the most beautiful melody that you'd ever heard.

- "What's your disease?" He asked flatly, like he was asking what the color of your eyes was.
- "PMCT. Primary malignant cardiac tumor. It's a rare heart tumor & the survival rate is very low." You answered, trying to sound like you weren't scared at all.
- "Wow, that sounds serious." He said while moving from the piano stool to the couch across from you.
- "What about you? Leg injury?" You asked as you glanced at his crutch.
- "ALS. Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Basically, my brain will lose the ability to control my muscles, so eventually I won't be able to move, speak, or breathe. There's no known cure for it until today."
- "I guess we're both screwed." You scoffed bitterly.
- "We are, so shouldn't we make the most out of the time we have left?"
- "How? We're both stuck in here."
- "I have an idea." His lips curved into a smile.

- He asked you to write down a bucket list, a list of things you wanted to do before you die sort of thing.
- But they had to be something that could be done within the hospital vicinity.
- So you wrote a bunch of ridiculous stuffs, paint graffiti on the hospital wall, steal a doctor's coat & wear it for a day, prank a random number telling them that they'd won the lottery & many others.
- Both of you helped each other cross every item on your lists one by one & it was a lot of fun.
- At least, it made you temporarily forgot about your impending death.
- Today, you were meeting Yoongi in the recreational room as usual, but he was late.
- He had never been late before so you became worried.
- After half an hour, he walked in, his pale skin was even paler than usual.
- "Hey, are you ok? You don't look good." You asked, worried.
- "I'm fine. Just feeling a bit under the weather. Anw, let's pull out our lists." He smiled cheerfully.
- You noticed a strain in the curve of his lips, but you decided to just play along.
- "My next item on the list is sneak out at night & scare a nurse. We can't do it now, so let's just do yours first. What's your next item?" You stretched your neck to peek at his list.
- "Never mind. Let's just skip this one." He quickly folded the paper.
- "Aww come on. We promised that we had to do everything on our list. Let me see." You snatched the paper from his hand & read.
- Your heart skipped a beat once you'd read what he had written.
- "I told you to skip it." Noticing my silence, he grabbed the paper & put it inside his pocket.
- "You have never kissed a girl before?" You asked him in disbelief.
- He shook his head in response, his cheeks blushing a shade of deep red.
- You chuckled inwardly, still not believing that a tough-looking guy like him had never kissed anyone before.
- "Let's do it then." You said.
- "What? You're not being serious, are you?" His eyes widened in surprise.
- "I promised to help you fulfill your bucket list, so I will keep it. Don't be shy, it'll only take a second." You encouraged him.
- "O-Okay. If you say so." He shrugged, still hesitant.
- "Close your eyes." You instructed.
- "Huh? Oh, okay." He obliged & slowly closed his eyes.
- You giggled looking at his uncertain expression.
- "Hey, you're not pulling a prank on me-"
- You kissed him square on the lips before he could finish his sentence.
- His lips were soft & squishy, they tasted like mint, like the gum he was always chewing.
- Unexpectedly, your heart pounded so fast inside your chest & heat began to spread all over your body.
- He abruptly pulled away & covered his mouth with the back of his hand.
- "S-Sorry, was it that ba-"
- This time, it was him who slammed his lips onto yours.
- The kiss was gentle at first, as you both were still uncertain about what you were doing, but then it got heated in no time.
- When you let go of each other, you were both out of breath.
- "Wow.." You muttered.
- "Yeah. Wow. Had I known that it felt so good, I would've done it sooner." He joked to diffuse the awkwardness.
- "You should've." You answered curtly, not knowing what else to say.
- "But it wouldn't feel the same if it wasn't with you." He said as he stared deep into your eyes.
- Your heart stirred, but you averted your gaze.
- "Let's go get some snacks from the cafeteria. I'm hungry." You quickly changed the topic & helped him get up from his seat.
- "Oh. Okay." He seemed confused but didn't ask anything.
- You knew how he felt about you & you felt the same way too.
- But what was the point of telling each other how you felt when death would soon separate you?
- Nothing good would come out of it, it would only make the goodbye much harder.
-•-

- "Y/n ah, eomma brought you a new beanie." Your mom handed you a ribboned paper bag as soon as she walked into the room.
- "Thanks." You smiled faintly at her, took the bag & walked into the bathroom.
- You fished the new beanie out off the bag, it was pink & made of soft cashmere.
- You carefully took off your old beanie & stared at your reflection in the mirror.
- Your once long thick hair had thinned out to almost nothing due to the chemotherapy.
- A drop of tear rolled down your face & you quickly wiped it away because you didn't want your mom to see you cry.
- You put on the new beanie, huffed a deep breath & stepped out of the bathroom.
- "Do you like it? I saw it online the other day & I thought that it would look good on you." She said cautiously.
- "I love it eomma. Thank you." You forced a smile on your lips.
- "Do you want to go for a walk in the park? It's a beautiful day." She offered.
- "Thanks, but I'm meeting my friend."
- "Oh, is it that guy with red hair? I'm glad you've found a friend. You look much happier ever since you met him."
- She didn't have any ill intention, but my dire mood caused me to take her words the wrong way.
- "Eomma, the only thing that can make me happy is to be freed from all these bullshit therapies & medicines that would never cured my disease."
- With that, you slammed the door behind you & walked towards the recreational room.
- You knew you had hurt your mom deeply with what you had said, but you didn't care.
- You wanted to give up, because the pain was becoming unbearable.
- Only Yoongi could understand how you felt & you couldn't wait to pour your heart out to him.
- You waited for him in the recreational room, he was late again.
- Then, suddenly you heard a sound & lifted your head excitedly.
- "Ya, why are you late-" The rest of the sentence got caught in your throat as you saw Yoongi rolled in on a wheelchair.
- "Hi. What's with that expression?" He chuckled.
- "Min Yoongi, what happened?" You asked, tears beginning to fill your eyes.
- "Uhm.. I guess my condition is getting worse. I can't move my legs when I woke up this morning, so they had to put me on a wheelchair. Other than that, I'm fine, don't worry." He smiled.
- You couldn't contain your tears anymore, you rushed to him & pulled him into a hug.
- "Ya, why are you crying? I told you I'm fine." He stroked the back of your head to calm you down.
- You pulled away from him & looked into his eyes.
- "I don't want to lose you." You said in between sobs.
- He stared back at you, slowly pulled you closer & kissed you gently.
- "You won't." He said as he leaned his forehead onto yours.
- You wanted so hard to believe him, but deep down you knew that he was only lying to appease you.
- You sat down on the floor, laid your head on his lap & cried, letting out all of your pent-up frustration & tears.
- He didn't say anything, only gently stroking your head.
- After a while, you'd calmed down & your tears had dried up.
- "Have you ever thought how life is so unfair to us? Out of all people in the world, why did God choose us to suffer like this? What did we do wrong to deserve such pain?" You asked with your head still on his lap.
- "Maybe because He knew that we would be strong enough to face it. And when we were about to break, He arranged us to meet, so we could be each other's pillar." He said.
- "But I'm not strong. I want to give up. Sometimes I wish that God would just take my life right now so that my mom won't cry anymore. So that I won't feel like a waste of oxygen anymore." Fresh tears welled up in your eyes as you told him your most inner thoughts.
- "Y/n ah.." His fingers stopped caressing your head, seemingly stunned by your confession.
- "Never mind." You abruptly raised your head, but your beanie was caught under his hand & it got slightly pulled away from your head, exposing your baldness.
- You frantically readjusted your beanie & turned away from him.
- You felt deeply ashamed because he'd caught a glimpse of your ugliest side.
- "I'm sorry, but I need to go." You quickly stepped away without looking at him, but he caught your wrist & stopped you.
- "Show me." He said.
- You turned around to face him, eyes widened in surprise.
- "There's nothing to be embarrassed about Y/n ah. So show me." He continued to encourage you.
- You bit your lower lip, contemplating for a few seconds.
- Then, you sucked in a deep breath & slowly moved your hand up to touch your beanie, the soft material felt good under your fingertips.
- Scared of seeing his reaction, you shut your eyes tightly & pulled the beanie off your head inch by inch until it was completely off.
- You instantly felt naked, it was as if you'd completely taken off your shield during a war.
- "You look beautiful." His statement caused you to open your eyes in disbelief.
- "Are you blind? I look ugly as hell." You put on your beanie again in a swift move.
- "I'm telling the truth." He insisted.
- "Oh, go to hell Min Yoongi." You were annoyed because you felt like he was mocking you & only said that out of pity.
- But you instantly regretted your mean words.
- "S-Sorry. I didn't mean that literally." You apologized right away.
- "Come with me." He said as he navigated his wheelchair towards the door.
- "Where are we going?" You asked.
- "Do you trust me?" He stopped & turned his face around.
- You nodded & followed quietly behind him.
- "Wait here." He instructed once you reached a busier hall.
- He went to the nurse station & talked to one of the nurses.
- She seemed to give him something but you couldn't see what it was.
- "Let's go." He said when he was back.
- "What are you trying to do?" You were very curious now.
- But he didn't answer, he just kept going until he stopped in front of the door of the disabled restroom.
- "Can you please help me open the door?" He looked up to you & asked.
- "Oh okay." You turned on the knob & pushed the door open.
- "Let's go." He signaled you to come in as well.
- "Huh? Do you need help going to the toilet? Should I call the nurse for you?"
- "No, I need you to come with me. Come on."
- You hesitantly stepped into the restroom with him & closed the door behind you.
- "Can you please help me stand up so that I can see the mirror?" He said.
- "Ok, but what exactly are you trying to do?" You asked, confused.
- "You'll see." He smiled at you.
- It took you a while to help him up, so that he could lean his body against the sink & support himself.
- Both of you were short of breath once you'd succeeded.
- "Now give me that." He pointed his chin at the thing on his wheelchair. A hair clipper.
- "Min Yoongi, what are you doing?" You slowly grabbed the clipper.
- Without saying a word, he snatched it from your hand, turned it on, & directed it towards his own head.
- "Oh my God." You gasped in shock as his red hair cascaded down onto the floor.
- In a few short minutes, he became as bald as a lightbulb.
- "You don't need to be ashamed & alone anymore Y/n ah, coz you've got company now." He smiled satisfactorily as he collapsed back down onto his wheelchair.
- Tears instantly rolled down your cheeks.
- You knelt down & hugged him tightly, his warmth radiated through out your body, melting your icy cold heart.
- "Thank you so much Min Yoongi. Thank you.." You sobbed on his shoulders, wetting his thin hospital gown.
- "No worries. I told you I'll always be your pillar." He reciprocated your hug & for a short moment you felt like everything was going to be alright.

-•-

- The next few days, were probably your happiest days ever since you'd moved to the hospital.
- You hadn't discarded your beanie, but you didn't feel as burdened by your deteriorating appearance anymore.
- You'd decided to embrace & treasure every second that you had left in this world with Yoongi by your side, although your & Yoongi's worsening conditions hung like the sword of Damocles over your head.
- Today, you & Yoongi were planning to fulfill another item on your bucket list, which was stealing an item from the doctor's or nurse's locker.
- Both of you waited until no one was walking in the corridor & quickly sneaked into the locker room.
- Yoongi's wheelchair accidentally banged one corner of the lockers when he got in.
- "Shhh! We need to be quiet." You half giggled half whispered, the adrenaline rush felt good.
- "Oops, sorry." He mouthed & rolled towards you.
- "So which locker should I pick?" You tapped your lower lip & scanned the row of lockers in front of you.
- "How about Dr. Kim Minseo's locker?" He suggested.
- "Sure. Why not?" You put your fingers on the handle.
- But just when you were about to pull the locker door, you heard the door to the room clicked open.
- "Shit, someone's here. We need to hide." You frantically pushed Yoongi's wheelchair deeper into the room & hid behind the last row of the lockers.
- Scared of being found out by whoever it was, your heart was beating so fast that you felt slightly out of breath.
- "Hey, you ok? You look pale." Yoongi whispered in concern.
- "I.. I.. I'm.. fin-" The last thing you saw was his horrified expression before your head touched the ground.

Time skip
- A ringing sound in your ears woke you up, but you couldn't open your eyes, your eyelids felt so heavy.
- You could faintly hear voices around you, but you couldn't make sense of what they were saying.
- Your chest hurt as you took a deep breath & tried to focus.
- Gradually, the words & sentences the people around you were saying became clearer.
- "Please doctor. Please save her, whatever it costs. I can't live without her, please.." You heard your mom say.
- "I'm so sorry Ma'am, but there's nothing else we can do now. She needs a heart transplant as soon as possible. However, even if we find a compatible heart for her now, the success rate of the surgery is quite slim." The doctor sighed.
- "So what do you want us to do? Just sit around & watch her die?!" You were surprised to hear your dad's voice.
- Your condition must have been extremely bad for him to abandon his work to come all the way here.
- It's finally time for me to die.
- You felt warm tears slid down your temples, at this point you had accepted the fact that you were going to leave soon.
- "Y/n? Y/n ah. Are you awake?" Your mom called out as she shook your arm gently.
- Your eyes slowly fluttered open & saw your parents staring at you with reddened eyes.
- "Oh thank God you're awake." Your mom instantly bent down to hug you.
- Even your dad who rarely showed any emotion sobbed quietly as he squeezed your hand.
- "H-How long have I been out?" You asked.
- "You've been unconscious for a week. But don't worry, you're fine now. Everything will be alright-"
- "Stop lying to me mom. I heard everything you guys discussed earlier." You cut off her sentence.
- "Y/n ah.." Your mom looked like she was this close to breaking down.
- "Don't worry, we'll find a compatible heart donor for you. Hang in there until then, ok?" Your dad caressed your head & said.
- You stared at both of them, wanting so badly to tell them to stop trying, but you knew that would only make them even sadder so you just pulled your blanket up & turned away from them.
- "I'm tired. Can you please leave me alone?"
- "Sure hun. We need to go settle some things with the administration. You get some rest first." Your dad kissed the top of your head, while your mom was still trying to control her emotion.
- Then, you suddenly remembered Yoongi.
- "Mom, you know that red-haired guy? Yoongi? Did he ever come visit me when I was unconscious?"
- "He did, once on the first day. In fact, he was the one who found you. But I haven't seen him again since then."
- "Oh ok." You turned back around & started to get worried about Yoongi.
- Is he ok? I need to see him.
- You waited until your parents were gone & carefully got off your bed.
- Your chest hurt with every little movement but you persisted.
- You dragged your IV drip stand & walked slowly to the recreational room, but Yoongi wasn't there.
- Where is he?
- You thought of going to his room but you realized that you didn't even know which room he was in.
- So you went to the nurse desk & ask the nurse.
- "Excuse me, nurse Yoon. May I know Yoongi's room number?"
- "Ommo Y/n ah, you're up! But I believe you shouldn't be walking around now." She said, a slight frown knitted her brows.
- "Please nurse Yoon. I just need to see Yoongi for a few minutes." You pleaded.
- "Well.. Ok. But promise me you need to go back to your room right after, ok? No fooling around for a while for you young lady. He's in room 503." She shook her head in defeat.
- "Thanks nurse Yoon." You smiled at her & walked as fast as your heart would allow towards Yoongi's room.
- You knocked on the door & waited, but there was no response.
- So you cautiously pushed the door open & peeked inside.
- Yoongi was lying on the bed with his eyes closed, while the TV was still on.
- You walked closer to his bed & observed his sleeping face.
- He looks so cute when he's sleeping.
- You sat down on the chair beside his bed & took in your surroundings.
- The room was similar to yours, but unlike yours it was completely bare.
- There weren't any flowers or balloons decorating the room, only a picture frame sitting on the bedside table.
- You picked up the frame & saw a smiling Yoongi, clutching a trophy of some sort, with a middle-aged lady who looked a lot like him.
- "Hey. You're up." His sudden call startled you.
- "Sorry, did I wake you up?" You smiled at him, feeling happy that you got to talk to him again.
- "Nahhh, it's ok. I'm happy to see that you're fine now. I was really worried when-"
- "Is this your mom?" Trying to shift his attention from your condition, you showed him the picture & asked.
- "Yes. People say I look a lot like her." His gaze was filled with love as he talked about her.
- "Are you an only child?" Come to think of it, you didn't know much about his life.
- "I am."
- "Me too. Well, I've told you that already, haven't I? What did you get the trophy for? Did your father take this picture?"
- "I won a basketball competition in high school. I used to be a candidate for basketball scholarship before I was diagnosed with this disease. And.. I used to have a father too." A sad smile lifted the corners of his lips as he stared at the photo.
- "Omg, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to-" Feeling like you'd stepped over the line, you quickly apologized.
- "It's ok. He left when he found out about my disease. I guess the prospect of taking care of a sick kid like me was too much for him." He scoffed.
- "Why didn't you tell me any of this?"
- "Because I didn't want to burden you with my sappy story. You've had enough on your plate already." He smiled.
- You felt guilty all of a sudden.
- These past weeks you'd dumped all your resentment & frustration on him, yet you just realized that you'd never done the same for him.
- "Sorry Yoongi ya. I'm such a bad friend."
- "No, please don't say that. You've done so much for me you have no idea. Anw, how are you feeling? What did the doctor say?" He abruptly changed the subject.
- "Well, in summary, I'm going to die soon." You looked down at your hands & said.
- "Ya, don't say that. You're not going to die."
- "I'm not just saying this out of spite. This time, it's real. I heard the doctor said that I won't be able to live if I don't get a heart transplant soon. And you know finding a compatible donor is close to impossible. But it's totally fine with me. I mean I'm scared but somehow I feel relieved. Like there are no more false hope & empty promises. I finally can stop fighting. I just hope that my parents feel the same way." You shrugged.
- "Don't say such thing. I won't forgive you if you give up now. I'm sure you'll get through-"
- His sentence was cut short as he suddenly appeared to have trouble breathing.
- "Yoongi ya? Min Yoongi!" Panicked, you instantly stood up & shook his arm.
- "I-I'm.. fine.. W-Wat-er.." He said in between light coughs.
- "Here." You quickly poured a glass of water & handed it to him.
- He stared at the glass & gulped.
- "What's wrong?" You looked at him in confusion.
- "On second thought, I'm not thirsty anymore. Sorry Y/n ah, but I feel a bit tired. Would you mind.." His smile seemed a bit awkward, but you didn't want to pry.
- "Oh ok. I'll see you tomorrow then. Have a good rest." You put the glass of water on his bedside table & rose from you seat.
- "Thanks." He muttered before he closed his eyes.
- You turned around one last time before you closed the door & saw him sleeping peacefully.
- Something was off but you couldn't put your finger on it.

- "Nurse Yoon!" You called out to her as you walked past the nurse station.
- "Yes? Oh Y/n ah, have you visited Yoongi?" She asked.
- "I have.. Is he- Is he alright? He seems a bit different." You hesitantly asked.
- "Well.. I don't know if I should tell you this, but he seemed to blame himself when you passed out. His condition has gotten worse ever since. You've seen it yourself right? He can't move his hands-"
- "What?" It was like a bucket of ice water was poured over your head.
- "I said Yoongi can't move- Omg, you didn't know? I thought you said you'd just come back-"
- You didn't even listen to the rest of her sentence & rushed back to Yoongi's room.
- You pushed open the door & just when you were about to step in, you saw what he was doing & stopped in your track.
- He looked like he was trying to move his hand to grab the glass you left earlier on the bedside table.
- You watched him struggle, sweat rolling down from his forehead to his brows, his face scrunched up, and tears began to well up in your eyes.
- All of a sudden, his agonizing growl filled the air as he cried loudly & banged his head on the pillow.
- You muffled your mouth & hurriedly stepped outside.
- Your knees went weak & you collapsed onto the floor.
- Yoongi had always been your safe harbor, your solid rock.
- Seeing him crumble down like that broke you.
- You staggered back to your room, selfishly wishing that you hadn't witnessed that.
- And you wondered, if you would ever be able to muster enough courage to face him again.

- It had been a few days since you last saw Yoongi, but you still couldn't get his desperate expression out of your mind.
- You missed him so much, yet you didn't have the courage to go to him.
- You were scared that you'd break down if you saw him again.
- "Y/n ah, how come you've never gone out to meet your friend again? The red-haired boy?" Your mom suddenly asked.
- "I just don't feel like it." You muttered lowly while playing with your hands.
- "Did you have a fight or something?"
- "No."
- "Hmm.. I don't know what you guys disagreed about, but I think you should talk to him about it. Friends don't leave each other alone. He was always there for you when you needed him, wasn't he?"
- Guilt crept into your heart as his smiling face instantly flashed in you mind.
- His gentle touch, his kind words, his hesitant kiss.
- I shouldn't run away like this. I should be there for him now like he always did for me.
- "Eomma, I need to go out for a while." You abruptly got off your bed & wore your slippers.
- "Where are you going?" She asked.
- "You told me to talk to him, right?" You smiled at her.
- Your heart beat faster as you got closer to Yoongi's room.
- You sucked in a deep breath & pushed the door open.
- "Min Yoongi, I'm here." You called out, but then you stopped.
- His bed was empty, even the picture frame that had been sitting on the bedside table was no longer there.
- You frantically rushed inside & opened the bathroom door, but he wasn't there either.
- Could it be that he- No. No, that can't be.
- You dashed out of the room to the nurse station.
- "Nurse Yoon. Nurse Yoon!" You hysterically called her.
- "What's wrong Y/n ah? Why are you sweating so much?" She approached you, voice laced with concern.
- "Yoongi.. Where is.. he?" You asked in between heavy breaths.
- "Min Yoongi?"
- "Yes! Min Yoongi in room 503! Where is he?!" You yelled at her.
- "He's been moved to the intensive care unit two days ago. I'm sorry, I thought you knew." She squeezed your hand.
- It felt like the earth had stopped spinning & you had lost your gravity.
- You held onto the edge of the table because you felt lightheaded all of a sudden.
- "Y/n, are you ok?" Nurse Yoon immediately rushed to your side.
- "Can- Can I see him?" You finally managed to speak.
- "Yes, but from outside of the room. Only family members are allowed to go in. Let me accompany you there." She held your hand & guided you to a different wing of the hospital.
- "He's inside." She nodded at the small window on the door of the ICU room.
- Your hands were trembling & your knees felt like they could give out at any moment, but you braced yourself & looked through the window.
- Yoongi was lying on the bed, colorful cables were attached to his chest & arm.
- His small face was covered by the huge oxygen mask.
- You could see his chest rising & falling, but his eyes were closed.
- You gasped in shock & tears involuntarily rolled down your cheeks.
- Pain shot through your weak heart until you could physically felt it.
- "Yoongi ya.. I'm sorry.. I should've come sooner. I'm sorry.." You cried & cried, but this time he wouldn't be able to comfort you anymore.

- You came to visit Yoongi every day ever since, although you couldn't get anywhere near him.
- You would sit down somewhere along the wall outside of his ICU room & talked to him.
- Sometimes, it felt like you were doing that more for yourself because obviously Yoongi wouldn't be able to hear you.
- Two weeks had passed, he hadn't woken up once.
- Today, you'd received more bad news about your condition but that didn't stop you from visiting him.
- You peeked through the small window & a sad smile curved your lips when you saw that he was still sleeping.
- You took a seat at your usual spot & started talking.
- "Yoongi ya, sorry I'm late again today. My heart is getting weaker, so my mom doesn't allow me to go out anymore. Now I can only sneak out when she's busy dealing with paperwork & stuff. Anw, how are you feeling? It must be uncomfortable having all those devices attached to your body. I might need to learn to get used to it soon as well coz the doctor said that my body won't be able to take it any longer. But hey, maybe I'll get assigned to the room next to yours, so that I won't need to walk so far away to talk to you." You chuckled at your own joke & leaned your head back on the wall.
- A drop of tear suddenly escaped your eye & fell onto your hospital gown.
- "I miss you. I miss your smile, your laugh, your dry jokes. I miss listening to you playing the piano & doing stupid things with you. Speaking of which, we haven't crossed out all the items on our bucket lists. You promised that you wouldn't stop until we'd done all of them, so can you please wake up now so that we can complete the lists? The last time I talked to you, you told me that you were tired & wanted to rest. Well, don't you think you've rested enough? So please wake up Yoongi ya. Wake up."
- The trickle of tears turned into a river in an instant.
- Soon, you were bawling uncontrollably on the floor, until a nurse found you & escorted you back to your room.
- You cried because you regretted so many things.
- You regretted not being there for him when he had gotten worse, not encouraging him enough to tell his story, not spending more time with him, not being honest with your feelings, & not telling him that you loved him.
- The last one hurt the most, because now there was no way to let him know that he meant the world to you, that he was the only thing that kept you going, that your heart belonged to him.
- "Ommo, Y/n ah! Where did you go? Did you go visit that guy again? I told you, you need to stay in your room. Omg, you're burning! Nurse, please call the doctor!" Your mom exclaimed hysterically.
- That night, your temperature kept fluctuating despite the medicine that your doctor had prescribed.
- Your body ached all over, you knew you were going to die soon.
- The next morning, your condition still hadn't improved.
- Calls were made, tears were shed, but you felt nothing.
- The only thing you wanted to do now was to see Yoongi again for one last time.
- "What are you doing?" Your mom abruptly stood up when she saw you taking the oxygen mask off.
- "I need to see Yoongi." You swung your feet down & panted heavily.
- "Y/n ah, you're still weak. Just rest for now, you can go see him once you feel better." Your mom blocked you, but you pushed her away with the little energy you had left in your body.
- "I need to see him.. please.." You staggered towards the door & stumbled down after a couple of steps.
- "Y/n ah!" Your mom screamed in panic & rushed to hold you up.
- "Ma'am, the doctor needs to talk to you." A nurse suddenly walked into the room.
- Your doctor came in a second later with a stack of papers in his hands.
- "Y/n, Ma'am, I have a good news for you. We have just received a heart from a donor & the test results show that it's compatible with you. So, we can arrange the heart transplant surgery right away." He explained.
- "What?" You couldn't believe what you'd just heard.
- "Omg, thank you so much doctor. When can we do the surgery?" Your mom bowed at him repeatedly as happy tears streamed down her face.
- "Preferably as soon as possible. We can get the operating room ready now." The doctor smiled at you.
- "I- I have a chance to survive?" You asked, still in disbelief.
- "Yes, Y/n ah. Although we will have to monitor you for a while, this is your best chance at survival." He nodded.
- You instantly bursted into tears & everything that came after was a blur.
- They wheeled you to the operating room, passing Yoongi's ICU room.
- "W-Wait! Can I see my friend for a minute?" You said to the nurse who was pushing your bed.
- "We don't have time. I'm sure you'll be able to see your friend after the surgery. Let's focus on yourself for now." She smiled at you without slowing down.
- You stared at Yoongi's room door as long as you could, hoping that you'd be able to see him again after you woke up. If you woke up.
- Please wait for me Yoongi ya.. But if I don't come back, I guess this is goodbye. I love you.
- Then you closed your eyes as they pushed you into the operating room.

- You woke up to the soothing melody played on the piano.
- You abruptly sat up & found a red-haired guy sitting on the piano stool, his fingers dancing on the tuts.
- "Min Yoongi?" You asked skeptically.
- "You're awake." He turns his face towards you & it was indeed him. Yoongi.
- "Oh my God!" You immediately stood up & rushed to hug him.
- Tears streamed down your face as you buried your face in the nook of his neck.
- "I thought I'd never see you again. I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me the most. I'm sorry that you had to suffer alone. I was too much of a coward to admit my true feelings. I love you Yoongi ya, I truly do. And I don't want to lose you again." You cried.
- "You won't. I'll always be with you. So, don't cry
Y/n ah." He gently caressed the back of your head.
- "Really?" You stared into his dark brown eyes.
- "Yes, really." He smiled at you.
- Then, everything went dark again.
- "Y/n? Y/n ah? Can you hear me?" The voice echoes in your ears.
- "Ma'am, please. She might not be ready to wake up just yet."
- "No, I saw her fingers move. She can hear me for sure. Y/n ah? You can hear eomma, right?"
- Eomma? Where's Yoongi?
- It took all your strength to open your eyes slightly & the bright lights instantly blinded you.
- "Oh my God! She's awake. She's awake!" Your mom  yells hysterically.
- "W-Where's Yoongi?" Those were the first words that left my lips.
- "Stop worrying about your friend & let the doctor take a look at you, ok?"
- You stayed silent while the doctor checked on you, you were still confused about what was going on.
- "Y/n ah, we still need to do some follow-up tests to make sure that the transplanted heart is working as it should be, but judging by your chart, there shouldn't be any problem. Congratulations." The doctor smiled at you.
- "May I know who the donor is?" You asked.
- "I'm afraid that's confidential, so I can't tell you that. Just focus on recovering for now, ok?"
- Once the doctor & nurses had left the room, you turned to your mom.
- "Eomma, how long was I unconscious?"
- "You slept for 8 days. We almost thought that you wouldn't be able to wake up again, but thank God you finally do." She smiled at you & kissed your forehead.
- "Do you have any idea who the donor was?"
- A frown appeared in between her brows as she bit her lower lip.
- "You know who it is, don't you? Tell me."
- "Listen to the doctor & focus on recovering first, ok?" It was obvious that she was avoiding your question.
- "Eomma-"
- "Shh.. You have just waken up, we'll talk about this another time." Her tone, although gentle, was final, so you shut your mouth & leaned your head back onto the pillow.
- Two weeks had passed, you were allowed to go out of your room for the first time today after the surgery, albeit still on a wheelchair.
- "The weather is really nice today. Let's go to the park & enjoy the sun." Your mom said as she moved you to the wheelchair.
- "I want to see Yoongi first."
- "Y/n ah.." Your mom protested but you wouldn't have it anymore.
- "You promised me that I can go see him after I feel better."
- "But-"
- "Excuse me? Is this Kim Y/n's room?" A middle-aged lady knocked on your door.
- "Yes, I'm Y/n." You looked up at her, she somehow looked very familiar.
- Then you remembered where you'd seen her before, in the picture on Yoongi's bedside table.
- "You're Yoongi's eomma, aren't you?" You asked.
- "I'm sorry, but I don't think today's a good day. She's barely recovered. Would you mind-" Your mother stepped in front of you & blocked your view.
- "Eomma, I'm fine! Eommoni, please come in." You smiled at her & invited her in.
- "It's ok. I'm only here to give you this letter. My son, Yoongi, asked me to give it to you. I was too preoccupied with everything that happened & have just remembered to deliver it to you now." She handed you a sealed brown envelope with your name written on the front.
- "Oh. Thank you. How is-"
- "I'll get going then. Please live a long & healthy life Y/n ah. Thank you for everything you've done for Yoongi." She bowed at you, tears glistening in her eyes, & left the room.
- "Eomma, can you please leave me alone? I need to read this." You said to your mom.
- "Ok. I'll be right outside, in case you need me." She squeezed my hand & walked out of the room.
- You stared at the envelope in your hand & thought to yourself.
- When did he write this? Has he woken up?
- You slowly tore the seal off, pulled out the piece of paper inside, & started reading.

- "No.. No!" You clenched the letter in your fist & ran as fast as you could to Yoongi's room.
- "Y/n ah, where are you going?!" Your mom exclaimed & chased after you.
- You arrived in front of his room & saw that it was empty.
- Your knees instantly went weak & you collapsed onto the floor.
- "Y/n ah.." Your mom knelt down beside you & put her hands on your shoulders.
- "That's impossible. This is a prank, right eomma? He's lying, right?" You looked at her with glistening eyes as you clutched your chest.
- "I'm sorry Y/n ah.." She sniffed, not able to contain her own tears.
- "Nooo.. Yoongi ya!" You cradled your head with your hands & bawled.

A few months later
- You stared at his picture inside the glass cabinet & stuck the little flower bouquet on it.
- "Yoongi ya, I've come. Sorry it took me a while to accept the fact that you're really gone."
- Tears began to well up in your eyes & you had to bite your lip to stifle the sob that was about to escape.
- "As you can see, I'm living happily as you told me to. Your heart.. is keeping me alive. Thank you Yoongi ya, meeting you was the best gift that I have & will ever receive in my life. I love you Yoongi ya. Til we meet again."
- You wiped away your tears & walked away with a bittersweet smile on your lips.