TW: self harm...

"Fucking hate thees things." I mumbled under my breath.

I get out of bed, and moan because its monday. I go to my bean bag, and plop onto it.

And for some reason, i cry.

I sniffle and try to keep quiet, i don't need my new parents knowing im a god damn crybaby...

Over some dumb braces.

All the little comments, and jokes that mean no harm, about my braces and lisp, make me sensitive...

Im a boy! Im not suppose to be acting like some sensitive bitch...

Over some dumb braces.

Maybe i look ugly with them on...

My lisp is probably funny to all of them...

I bet they all laugh behind my back.

I bet my old friend, whom made me feel wanted, is feeling a bit cold.

Maybe my old friend wants me to show it it's favorite color...

Red.

I don't know why i did it.

My thoughts were going crazy, and i guess doing that... Seemed liked the best thing to do at the time.

I walked down the hallway, every step i made made my heart beat faster.

Just do it...

Make it quick

No one will care or notice.

I stop.

Im in front of my old friend.

So sharp and delicate, yet does what i need it to.

I hover over it.

My hand shaking wildy as i feel tears prick my eyes.

I pick it up, gulping.

I roll up my sleeve...

And make the red come out.

I watch with tears in my eyes, as the red forms into beads, and run down slowly.

I shut my eyes tight, tears spilling down, and throw the razor across the room. I fall to my knees, and cry.

Im so weak...

I didn't mean to do it again...

God why...

I rock back and forth, sobbing. I hear the door open...

A pair of gentle arms wrap around me, and i bury my face into them.

"Its okay mon ami. Im here for you."

"P-pleathe don't t-tell them..." I choke out, and he nods.

"I won't if it makes you feel better, but we will have to eventually. Your ok now, just breathe."

I take a deep breath and sit there while Lafayette comforts me, i don't know how long we sat there, but i felt safe.

I can't promise this won't happen again...

Just stay positive Alexander.