Admission

I don't remember how I got here. I remember flashes. An overdose of pregabalin and risperidone. A knife to my throat, by my own hand. Paramedics trying to talk me down. The wailing of police sirens. The chill of handcuffs on my wrists.

I find myself standing in front of a so called nurse. Screaming. Around me chairs are flipped over, the newspapers that once laid on them are now strewn all over the floor. My blood is boiling. My adrenaline is surging. The bags under my eyes are heavy. All my muscles are tensed, poised and ready for a fight.

"I'm not fucking taking anything!" I shout in defiance, my words are strained and hoarse, crackling from the strain of all my screaming before.

"I'd really like it if you took them," the nurse soothed, I caught the glimmer of serrated teeth that glistened in her mouth, blood stained and stinking of rotting flesh, a blackness flared across her eyes, deep dark abysses of nothing but coldness and cruelty. Alien.

"Those meds are poison!" I yelled, my fists tightened as they slammed against the wall. I felt my skin tear away on impact, leaving aching and blue bruises that wept blood.

I saw the future. Me foaming at the mouth, convulsing and turning blue-if I took that vile poison. My stomach turned, heaving the little food the nurses had forced me to eat, until I threw a knife at one and stormed out of the cafeteria.

Take your pills Hannah, I want to watch you suffer.

"Get our of my head!" I roared, bringing my hands to desperately clutch and rip at my scalp, pulling chunks from it, my eyes screwed shut and my teeth gritted, "get out! Get out! Get out!" I demanded, darkness consuming my vision as their alien screams boomed in my head.

Another nurse appeared, her moves skittish. Fear twinkled in her wide eyes. Soft and baby blue, just like Ashley.

Ashley. He's here.

I love him, still. Always.

I chose to listen to him.

"Take your meds Hannah, it'll make you feel better, please won't you take them?" he beckons me, in his cute little high pitched voice.

"Okay," I sigh, my shoulders dropping and releasing the tension in them. I allow him to lead me to the meds station, where I find myself stood in front of yet another nurse.

I look at my feet as she procures the pills. Thirty milligrams of mirtazapine. One milligram of risperidone. One hundred milligrams of pregabalin.

My eyes dart upwards, shameful and embarrassed, to catch eyes that reflect the same mechanical hollowness. Inhuman. Those teeth, those tiny daggers embedded in sore gums.

No. No no no no.

A panic rises up in my body, sending alarm bells wailing in my head, my heart pumps pure adrenaline that has my body shaking, caught in the grips of it my lungs fail to take in oxygen. My eyes quickly shoot back down, catching little beads of green poison bubbling on the surface of the pills, I can taste it in the air. Bitter and repulsive.

"I'm not gonna take them!" I scream, I see the alien's brows furrow with concern. Except it's not concern, it's a lie. All of it. It's frustration that I refuse to kill myself so they can possess my body. They're desperate. Their eyes turn rabid, frenzied and ready to kill me.

No. They aren't going to kill me.

I'm going to fight till my last breath.

I grab them by the collars of their uniform, pulling them into me as I throw my head back before lunging it forward, smashing hard into their face.

I hear the crack of bones, a gush of blood spurts wet and hot into my face.

Frantic shouts ensue. Hands grab at me. I'm being dragged away. Away and away.

Locked in isolation.

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