"I swear, it's the whole truth."

"Would I lie about something like this? Where's Malcolm, he'll tell you about it."

"He was there, I saw him!"

"Fine. I'll start from the beginning..."

"Where are you taking me?" I nearly tripped following after my brother through that crowded mall, I'll tell you. Dodging this way and that, squeezing by groups of people, I had never seen it that busy before. I don't remember the day it was, nor the month. Or the time for that matter...But, that doesn't matter for this story. All I know was that it happened earlier this year, a few months ago. My brother had taken me to a mall to meet someone there, without telling me who of course. "Who is it?" I had asked.

"You'll see, he should be around here somewhere..." My brother stood on his toes, being slightly on the shorter side. I stood on mine as well, hoping to catch a glimpse of the mysterious person we were visiting. Too many accidents could have happened if we started walking again, the whole walkway covered with footprints, and the shoes that made them. And talk about stuffy! You know when you're in a small building, or a large one I suppose and you start smelling body odor because there's simply too many in one space? It gets all hot and uncomfortable? You don't know the half of it!

We waited until the hoard cleared up a bit, one man standing a few feet away. Man, and I thought my brother was short. I'd never seen a man like this before. He turned his head, and-I kid you not-it was Malcolm. 

You know, Malcolm Young? Of course you know him, he's from one of the most famous rock and roll bands of all time. And here he was, standing five feet away from us, in a little town like ours. What he was doing there, I'll never know. I never had the courage to ask. He turned his head and saw us, and walked over to us. I looked at my brother with a very unattractive gaping mouth. What, so now my brother is all buddy buddy with Malcolm Young? And he didn't TELL ME?

So we're standing there, Malcolm now three feet from us, two...one...all the while my brother is muttering, almost to himself..."Hey, he's from AC/DC..." I looked to him, thinking to myself, reeeeally? I hadn't noticed! 

"That's Malcolm," I corrected, thinking it awfully rude of people to not even remember his name. Knowing my brother meant well, and that the name just slipped his mind for two seconds, I let it go. "His name...is Malcolm."

Well he finally got to where we were standing, he and my brother taking to each other quite quick. I guess it's a...brotherly thing. Their conversation was lost to me by the incoming crowd, and we quickly took to walking again. Malcolm walked on my left side, my brother keeping on my right. I looked at both of them, wondering when on Earth had they suddenly become friends? I tried to ask, but no words came out of my mouth. I was speechless! And we were walking rather quickly allowing little time for conversation. 

"What happened next? Uh...well, see it's interesting because I have a little trouble remembering the next part. It all kind of happened in a blur, you see..."

"That's fuckin' disgustin'!" I turned my head every which way, but I couldn't find those two anywhere. My brother had disappeared, and I could faintly hear Malcolm's voice over the buzz of the mall. People everywhere but none of them the little guitarist. Guess that's what happens when you're only 5'3. Whatever it was disturbing him must have been pretty bad because that's the only thing he could think of to describe it. "That's fuckin' disgustin'!"

"Then...I kid you not, everything went dark. No people, no shouting, nothing. I was in a small space, very small, very dark. I blinked a few times to adjust my eyes but...nothing. Finally I realized I could sit up a bit, there was a little bit of light above me..."

I sat up, the light hitting my face hard. I was in some trunk of a car. I'm not kidding, the trunk of a car! It's like I was bagged and kidnapped or something! Honest! Anyway, I sit up, right? And there's these two people on the other side of the trunk, hanging out in the backseat. And I really do mean "hanging out". 

Neither of them were dressed, see. One was a giggly female, the other a prideful young man. It appeared they had just finished a round of unbridled passion and I was asleep the whole time. Thank God for that.

So I wake up to these two at the end of their date, in the trunk of some random car...that's when I see that this car ain't so random. That guy? He was Malcolm's brother! Can you believe it? Just when I thought my day couldn't get stranger. First Malcolm, now Angus. But, as exciting as this sounds, meeting Angus like this was not what I had in mind. 

Ducking my head to save all three of us the embarrassment, I just listen to their "pillow" talk. Looking back on it, I don't remember much that was said. I guess it's pretty hard to listen when your second favorite guitarist is lounging in the backseat of a car with a lady friend in the most private not-so-private way. 

I peeked my head over again, and get a closer look. I don't mean to spy, I really don't. But the things I saw...oh, you'll never believe it. They had a blanket over them, that much is true. Angus looks like he normally does, ya' know, the curly hair, the sugar-eating grin. But the other one...Angus, your girl, woof!

She looked like a teenager first of all. Now I'm not one to judge on things like that, but her parents aren't gonna like her out in the woods like...this. What if she has school tomorrow? Second, this obviously can't be your car, so...was she the one driving you two out on your date? Did she open your door for you, or pull out your chair too?

Now the good news, she was very pretty. Blonde hair, nice face, rather short, probably the nicest, sweetest girl on the planet. Angus, you would have loved her. Now the bad news...

Her chest was hairier than yours. 

"I guess that's what Malcolm meant when he said, 'That's fuckin' disgustin'!'"

"Can I go now?"

"Yeah, that's the end of the story."

"Alright, I'm going. I'll call you guys up again for the sequel."