Is your life in the bedroom slowing down? Perhaps it's come to a complete stop. Perhaps it feels like the two of you can't go a day without arguing. Maybe that waitress at the bar ain't looking half bad. In here you'll find everything you need to know about a proper sex life and how to keep your man satisfied. You don't want to find he's cheating on you, and neither do we! Learn how to add some spice in your humdrum lovemaking that will have you both climaxing--

Hannah slammed the magazine shut. Her eyes seemed to double in size and her skin felt hot despite the heavy snow blanket outside. Only by the shadows on the walls in the dark room did she realize just how much time had passed. Her tea was cold too. Angus had been gone a while. 

He was at work. The new album was having a difficult time coming together so far and everyone had been working extra hours to finish it. Studios cost money and money doesn't grow on trees. 

The rest of the mail lay unopened on the coffee table. Someone named Maxine Hopkirk had been expecting the newest issue of Naughty and Nice magazine but the issue had other plans and made its way into a different mailbox. And Hannah, being a curious and voracious reader, gave it a go. Wrapping her fluffy blanket around herself, she slowly opened it again. 

--in no time!

Lingerie will get his attention. Your man is a visual creature. Seeing you decked out in lace and bows will have him on top of you before you can even say anything!

Hannah swallowed. She was not one to shy away from wearing lingerie but something told her they meant a smaller, strappy, sexy little number. A little something that didn't quite close in the back. 

Whisper in his ear. Tell him all the hot and naughty things you plan on doing to him. Tell him your fantasies no matter how wild. Playfully threaten to punish him if he doesn't do what you say. Whispering dirty things in his ear will excite him more than any casual 'I love you'. 

Her brow furrowed. Telling the man she loved how she felt about him wasn't boring....was it? It certainly didn't feel casual to her. But....maybe Angus felt differently. Maybe he was getting bored of hearing something he already knew. Hannah absentmindedly grabbed her mug of tea and took a drink. Grimacing, she put it back down. 

What did Angus do when she told him she loved him? Did he roll his eyes? Or scoff to himself? Surely not, he always responded in the same positive way, even smiling as he did. But still....routine is as routine does....Angus could be rather shy at times, perhaps he didn't know the best way to go about asking for....changes.

Suck him off.

Hannah's cheeks turned an exquisite shade of red.

Change positions. If you're always opting for the vanilla, why not try other flavors to enhance the pleasure? Why not take the bedroom to the rest of the house? Instead of eating dinner at the table, have sex on it!

Hannah could feel her stomach tie itself into knots as she remembered eating dinner at that very table last month when Ang's parents came to visit. Her back ached at the very thought! There had to be something in here she could try that was more her speed. She turned the page.

Use props. Ice, toys, whatever you have lying around to make for an exciting and blissful encounter with your partner. You could try tying him up and blindfolding him so he'll be at your mercy as long as you wish.

Hannah started choking on the cold tea she wasn't even drinking.

The magazine landed on the coffee table with a slap. Pulling her feet up on the couch and snuggling further into her blanket she stared at nothing. 

Maybe....she was doing everything wrong. 

Maybe this really was what people wanted. Adventurous, new, exciting, stimulating, basically everything she wasn't. 

But Angus loved her anyway. He never once asked her to change or to try anything she wasn't comfortable with. But how on Earth are you supposed to ask for those things? 

Hannah rinsed her mug out in the sink and headed for the bedroom. Opening the top drawer of the dresser she rummaged around. At the very bottom underneath a pair of socks with Christmas trees on them was a black nightie. Angus had his little private joke of calling it a negligee but it could hardly be considered anything of the kind. Still, he didn't seem to object her wearing it. 

She couldn't say the dinner table was on her bucket list but if their bedroom had a bit of added atmosphere....some music and candles....

"Goin' home, Ang?"

"Yeah. I'd stay longer but half my balls is frozen off an' I wanna get home while I still have the other intact." He closed the latch on his guitar case and picked it up. "You stayin'?"

"Just a few minutes. George wants to hear the playback again 'cause he thinks it sounds a little funny in the first chorus." Malcolm took a drink of his beer and shrugged. "Says it's nothin' we did but the "high tech" of the studio." 

"You think I should stay?"

"Nah, go home, you'll hear it tomorrow. Or you'll hear George cussin' out the equipment." Angus sniffed and turned to leave. "Give Hannah a hug from me."

"Sure," Angus said. "An' give Linda a big sloppy wet kiss from me."

"That's not even funny, Ang!" Malcolm shouted behind him. Angus laughed to himself and couldn't stop so he left the studio as quick as he could and started the long walk home.

The flat was dark when he opened the door. For a minute he could have sworn it was empty until he saw Hannah peeking from around the corner. "Finally home, love," he said taking his coat off, snow falling on the floor. He rubbed his hands together. "Sorry for gettin' back so late but...." He shrugged. "What can you do?" He sniffed again and tossed his coat on his guitar case. 

Hannah just stared at him. 

"What?" he asked. Slowly she came out into view with her arms crossed over her chest wearing the black nightie. Her legs were quite bare, and Angus noticed. "Uh...." He stepped closer to her. "What's goin' on, sweetheart?" 

"Nothing," she said trying to keep a natural attitude. After all, why wouldn't this woman wear something slinky for her husband, it's the most obvious thing in the world. She shivered. 

"What's the matter?"

"A little cold," she admitted. Angus came closer and wrapped his arms around her.

"Well of course you're cold, you're wearin' your negligee." Hannah leaned gratefully into his warmth and closed her eyes, feeling his soothing hands running up and down her back. He smelled tremendously like cigarettes and sweat and strange as it was, Hannah enjoyed it. 

It was him.

Angus started a bit when Hannah suddenly pulled away from him. He waited for her to speak and saw her staring at her tiny feet. "What's wrong?" Gently he brushed a bit of hair away from her face. She grabbed his hand. 

"Come on," she said. "I....want to show you something." 

Angus let her lead him down the hall to their bedroom. She let him enter first then closed the door behind them. Each nightstand had a candle burning and there was a solitary pink head of a lily on the center of the bed. Angus turned around slowly to look at Hannah. "You uh....been watchin' The Godfather, love?"

"I didn't have any rose petals," she said. Angus nodded then realized what she said. Before he could ask Hannah had tiptoed past him and sat at the foot of the bed crossing one leg over the other. To quell his racing heart, Angus stuck his hands in his pockets. 

"What is all this, love?" His heart started racing faster when Hannah beckoned him to sit next to her. Her arms were covered in goosebumps and she twiddled her thumbs. 

"Angus...." she sighed. "Are you....do you feel....do you think..." She sighed again. "I was thinking..."

"I got it, it's all clear to me now," Angus said. "I understand exactly what you're after."

Hannah couldn't help the laugh. Angus laughed too and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. 

"Ya' don't have to be scared, love," he said quietly. "It's only me." He smiled as her big hazel eyes stared back into his. She fluttered her lashes and carefully toyed with the top button on Angus' shirt. 

"I just wondered.....if you wanted to try something new..." Angus thought for sure he misheard her. 

"What do you mean?"

"I meant....in bed...." Her voice was like that of a mouse. Angus didn't realize his mouth was open until he tried to speak. And no words came out. 

"Well....well, that would...depend on what it is," he finally stuttered. Hannah searched the ceiling like she was thinking. Angus smirked. "I ain't tryin' to hang from the ceiling, ya' know." She blushed and he mentally patted himself on the back. 

"I didn't mean that, I just thought....." He waited patiently for her to explain. She seemed....uncomfortable even just talking about it. "I thought maybe you....." Suddenly she stood up and attempted lifting Angus off the bed. 

She was a bit out of shape.

"What are you doin'?" 

"Trying to carry you to bed." Angus sat there and continued to sit there. 

"Don't hurt yourself, love," he said. Hannah managed to get him half an inch off the bed but she couldn't keep it up and dropped him again. "Ya' know.....I could always jus' carry you to the bed."

Panting, Hannah responded, "I'm trying to impress you."

"You're not impressin' anyone, sweetheart," he smiled. Hannah pouted and crossed her arms. Angus stood up and put his hands on her shoulders. "Hey, I'm sorry. Look, why don't we skip that part an' jus' get to the other stuff, yeah?" Hannah looked down at her feet again. "What else did you have planned?"

Looking right at his beautiful face, Hannah summoned all her courage. 

"How'd you like to be tied up?"

Angus blinked. "Uh...." He coughed and felt his face heating up. "W-well....or we could jus'....have a shower an'....relax in bed....ya' know, like usual?" He grabbed her hand and rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. Hannah sighed again, something between relief and frustration. 

"But that's not new, that's not exciting," she said. Angus shrugged.

"Okay, well.....I can't say I wanna be tied down or anythin', but...what else you got?" To say he was nervous was an understatement. His palms were wet and he felt hot. One of them must have turned the heating on too high, that thing never worked right. Hannah seemed nervous too but she didn't let it hinder her from wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him. He returned the embrace and carefully sat down on the bed pulling her onto his lap. Her fingers wandered into his hair, lightly tugging. Angus cradled her in his arms. 

Each time their lips parted they came together again quicker than before. He moved one hand to her leg and trailed his fingers over her bare skin. Hannah made a few small noises of content and tugged at his shirt.

After an eternity or two Hannah pulled away from him putting a hand to his flushed cheek. Her eyes sparkled and she smiled at him. 

"I love you," she murmured. 

"I love you too," Angus said. Hannah frowned and looked away from him. She bit her lip like she was thinking again. 

"I mean....uh....what else can you do with those fingers....besides guitar?" she asked like she was forced to say it. "Naughty boy," she added with a stifled laugh. Angus couldn't do much besides stare in disbelief and confusion. 

"Naughty boy...?" Hannah started laughing harder. "Where in the hell.....did you come up with that?" She couldn't answer through her giggling. "I'm not tryin' to kill the mood here, sweetheart, but...."

"I'm sorry, let me try something else," she giggled. "Uh...how would you like it if....if I took charge?" Her giggles turned to blushing and she lowered her voice. "If I....showed you a thing or two?"

Angus, deciding to play along but unsure of exactly what to do, straightened up and grinned. "Yeah? Show me."

Hannah stared at him with a surprised sort of expression but it was replaced by one of determination. "Then....lie down." Angus carefully set Hannah on her feet and lay back on their bed. He grabbed the lily head and stuck it in his hair. Hannah smiled in spite of herself. 

"What now, ma'am?"

"Uh...." Hannah swung her arms back and forth. She climbed onto the bed herself and straddled him. To be clear, she had straddled him several times in their marriage. So how could she possibly make this, in her words, new and exciting? "Let's get this pesky shirt off you." 

Angus watched her undo all the buttons on his shirt then slip it off his shoulders. Her hands were cold on his heated skin. He wasn't about to complain. Carefully she ran her hand up and down his chest and kissed his neck. Her other hand found his hair again. The lily fell out to be cushioned by the carpet. He closed his eyes letting himself relax. "You're a natural, sweetheart," he said. "Nothin' to it, right?" Hannah beamed shyly. Then she remembered the article.

"No talking, or I'll have to punish you." Angus never opened his eyes quicker. 

"Punish? What's this about--" Hannah cut him off with her lips. Angus put his hands on her shoulders and broke away. "What did you say about punishin'?" Hannah turned away and hid her face behind her hair. "I ain't mad or anythin'. Jus'...confused."

"I thought....I thought it would excite you..."

"Excite me?" Hannah sighed and got off his lap, walking to the foot of the bed and sitting down. Angus followed her and sat down as well. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "What's goin' on, love?"

"Are you bored, Angus?" Her eyes were glistening. Angus gripped her hand in his. 

"Bored of what?" Hannah shrugged.

"You know...." She swung her legs. "Doing the same old thing...." Angus frowned. "In bed?"

The realization hit him like a truck. "So that's what this is all about, huh?" He felt Hannah shiver next to him and he grabbed the blanket sitting on the bed and wrapped it around her. He felt a little chilly all of the sudden and shivered as well. Hannah reached behind them and picked up his shirt handing it to him. He nodded his thanks and put it on. "That's why you did all this?"

Hannah leaned against him. "I just thought maybe....you were tired of humdrum and wanted more...."

"Whips an' chains?" He laughed as Hannah hid her face for the hundredth time. "Sorry, hun, couldn't help myself." Angus kissed her hair and ran his fingers through it. "Is this somethin' you've been thinkin' of for a while, or was it jus' spur of the moment?" Hannah pointed a single finger at a magazine lying on their dresser. "What's that?"

"Some magazine that got delivered to our place by mistake." Angus stood from the bed and grabbed the magazine. 

"Woah," he said looking at the cover showing a woman in her underwear. "Should get my picture in this thing..." He flipped through the pages with various and occasionally useful articles about after care, self exploration, and various kinks. "This is quite the piece of literature, love." Finally he came to the article in question. "Oh, here we go. Bedroom Fun, by Barbara Buchanan. A guide to adding flair to your sex life and igniting passion in your marriage....." His eyes skimmed the page. "How to thrill the vanilla in your life....how to climax ten times in ten minutes? Sweetheart, this article is rubbish, ya' know?"

"In theory, I figured it was all nonsense but.....I couldn't help but wonder if maybe...." Hannah pulled the blanket tighter around herself and wiped her eye. "If maybe you got a little bored. If I wasn't....exciting you enough." Angus strolled across the room and stood by the window reading an article about a woman's personal journey on marital submission. 

"Hmm," Angus said nodding. "Hmm." He opened the window and tossed the magazine out, the booklet landing in the thick snow. A cold gust of wind blew in before he closed it and Hannah buried her face in the blanket. Wiping his hands on his jeans he took a seat next to his wife. "There. Don't have to worry about that anymore."

"You're not interested?" Hannah asked. 

"Well, I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't need a cigarette after all that," he shrugged. "An' I wouldn't mind tryin' somethin' that you were eager to try." Hannah's wet eyes met his. "But I couldn't help but notice you seemed....I dunno, a bit scared." She hid herself completely under the blanket. Angus nudged her with his elbow. "Tell me somethin'. Were you actually interested in any of that?"

"....not all of it...."

"See, I'm not interested if you're not interested, ya' know? Some people get bored easily an' tryin' things like that might be good for them. But what works for some doesn't always work for others, ya'know?" He picked up the shy woman and cradled her in his lap again. "I'm fine with how we're goin'." 

He smiled as Hannah pulled the blanket off her face. She played with the ends of his hair. "I don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with..." she mumbled.

"An' I don't wanna do what you don't want. An' maybe one day....maybe one day when we're old an' stay in bed all day, maybe we'll end up doin' somethin' different....we don't have to go tyin' each other up an' punishin' or anythin'....jus'...." He grinned. "Jus' a good ol' fashioned quickie or somethin', ya' know?" He laughed and kissed Hannah's blushing cheeks. 

"Just how long will it be before we're old and staying in bed?"

"Well, you know how I like to sleep. Maybe..." He shrugged. "Maybe ten years?"

"Alright, fair enough," Hannah said. "We'll meet back here in ten years, deal?"

"Well, hold on jus' a minute here," he said straightening up. "We can meet here anytime an' do other things, yeah?" Hannah played with the button on his shirt again. 

"Like what?"

"Well now....what would you like? What would you like to do most of all?"

Angus waited patiently while she thought and considered. He twirled a strand of her hair around his finger and hummed to himself. "Have a warm shower with the man I love?"

Angus kissed her forehead. "Me too. Ah, make that woman," he said. "An' after that we can come back here an' have our own fun, make love at our own pace, yeah? With huggin' an' kissin'. Maybe even....hand holdin'?"

Her lashes fluttered again. "You're not going to leave me for that waitress at the bar?"

Angus frowned. "What waitress?"

With a loving smile she kissed him. His heart soared at their proximity and raced at their passion. On the outside it was a chaste kiss; one meant for your wedding day or a New Year kiss in front of your family and friends. But to him it was sheer thrill. After another eternity Hannah pulled away and rested her forehead against his. "I really love you," she murmured. 

"I love you too, sweetheart," he whispered. "You're my best friend." She grasped his hand and squeezed it. "Besides. It's nice to come home an' take things easy with the wife." Angus smirked. "I get enough of that action on tour, anyway."

In a flash Hannah was on her feet. "Oh, that's real funny, Angus Young!" She made a lunge for him but Angus already ran out of the room laughing while Hannah chased him. 

Some time that night a gust of wind sprayed snow in all directions and the magazine blew away into the dark streets of London.