"The Mirror"

Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky but little do we know that there are unfathomable things or creatures that seems to co-exist in this world and are willing to compress their uncanny features here in the place that was solely created for human beings

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I, Kayrus Silverio is damn satiated with my life. their vitriol and hateful criticisms about me is unbearable, it felt like i was hoisting an enormous rock right between my clavicle and head. Pounding of heart, rambled thoughts while holding a little blade to create a gash on my hands while saying sorry repeatedly is my way of burning everything out. i tried to make them proud, even those people that i'm uncallous of

but why does all of these hardships that i need to go through seems to be onerous?

i can't alter myself just to make them happy, if they can't accept the real me then i'll pave a demiurgic way for them to decipher my current situation and to disperse their fake allegations about gays, in fact we just need to be accepted by the society because without our real participation, we can't achieve sustainable development

I can still remember how there ablazing gazes turned on my way, they even cackled about my way of dressing up, they would say it straight to my face on how archaic i am and how obsolete my personal things are

I know that those words are rigmarole and i can't help but to cry on the periphery where no one can notice, away from their eagle-like eyes and their quick-to-judge mouths

I feel like a bomb that's going to detonate anytime soon cause i don't have anyone to talk to and vent my problems out, even my family members isn't there to solace me from falling into the abyss

I can't feel the real essence of love wherever i go. i just hope that there's someone out there who's ready to understand what i feel inside. i just wanted to know how it feels to be taken care of someone and also i'd like to feel how is it to be accepted by someone despite the differences

I always cry every midnight, talking to myself on a mirror with substandard thoughts infiltrating on my mind. No matter how i treat other people so good they'll always return it with balderdash assumptions about me that is far from how i deeply know myself and these things are quite a battle for me cause whenever i wanted to defend myself from their rigour accusations, i always end up falling short. in my mind, i wanted to decimate them but doing it has a far reaching effect

There are nights that i wanted to slumber and just shut my thoughts down but it wouldn't let me so, i always find myself on the middle of the night getting a chair to perch and little do i know, i started babbling my hard-fought emotions all throughout my everday routine into a convex mirror. honestly, it helped me aid the stinging pain that i've been keeping all myself. I've been doing it for a month straight and to any people who'll see me conversing to a mirror will think that i'm dull-witted

My imagination drives me to talk to the mirror more until my inhibitions made me insane, i discerned that the mirror that i'm talking to every night is a real person because my emotions was not whacked up unlike before but i'm still battling it

and today, it's four in the morning already, there's still no signs of light going right through my bunky and jetblack curtains. The tenebrous ambiance was the best if i pair it with a large cup of strong and black coffee but instead, i'm holding a big kitchen shears and started to envision a diversification of haircuts that would match to my long boney face, tired restless eyes and long mobile mouth

I haven't gotten a sleep yet, my eyes and mind are very much wide awake like an illuminating lamp on a dark and peaceful evening, it lights no matter how a rivulets of distraction like moths started to play around the enraged fire but it's totally different on my part where even a little muck or dirt that i don't wanted them to scrutinize, i get upsize and thaws just like a crayon everytime it went through any heat

I'm still wondering why i wanted to cut my hair short on this particular time and situation. maybe i just wanted to do something that would break me free from all the poignant junctures

I've read it online that when you cut your hair short, you wanted to obtain a fresh start, to accept and let new beginnings enter a new chapters of your life and that's what i wanted. A new life out from fickle-minded people who brought out repugnant words

As usual, i'm facing the blurry mirror with little bubbles of dirt forming right at the center of the glass which makes it hard for me to see my face but it's okay, my main objective is to cut ny hair in a way i wouldn't look ill-favored and grotesque

but i get uncomfortable about the idea of cutting my own hair while there's an obstruction– a blurry blot at the center of the glass, so i formed my hand into a fist and starts to expunge it and when the dirt was swiped away abruptly. My glum eyes and eyebags are the first thing i saw, my undereyes darkens everytime i can't find a way to put my body into the Chambers but for me, it still looks beautiful because it made me realize all the sleepness nights i had to go through

I turned my focal point unto my straight but unruly blonde hair almost falling into my eyes and i was about to position the mettalic prick of the shears into it when i apprehend a small howling voice from the four corners of my room apartment but i can't figure it out where specifically it came from

I didn't mind what i heard and cut the frizzy ends of my hair that falls unto the floor and was about to cut the remaining filaments on the edges of my head when i heard the howling voice again but this time it's more louder than it was earlier

I stopped and put the shears on the side and began shifting my gaze to my whole room, only to find out where the bothering noise came from, i was heading to the transom windows and my hands starts to drift the pinch pleat curtains and start looking outside and haven't seen anything and i noticed that the horizon was still settling on it's dark shade and i have a hunch that it's gonna rain today. It's strange because i checked the weather forecast earlier and there was no report about having a gloomy weather today

I just shrug at the thought of it and began sauding into where i had paused to cut my hair. upon perching to the seat, the mirror began glistening just like how the glow in the dark stars we're beaming with colors on my ceiling

my heart began to throb so fast and my mouth we're opening out of exasperation then a strong gust of wind starts to fill my two hundred nineteen square feet room apartment and it sent shivers down my spine

This thing is staggering that made me lose my balance and fell from the seat

Am i whoolgathering? this is the first time that this unfathomable things happened to me

I tried to scrutinize the convex mirror again and it illuminates different light colors and it never happened before

I stretched my left arm to the convex mirror while the other one is clutching at the carpeted floor and when my fingers had a touch on the glass of the mirror, the real-estate began quaking and I heard the small and cryptic voice again and right now, i'm very sure it came from the mirror

I can't take my hands off the covex mirror, some powerful force is grabbing my hand and been pulling my whole body up to the mirror

Perspiration starts to traill off my body and my body was late to react, so i tug my left hand to oppose whatever 'impenetrable force' or some sort of magic is behind this mirror but it was so strong that i can't take it off, its been pulling me so hard just like how a vacuum sucks all the dirt

I can discern how my left hand went through the glass like a vicious portal and just like a vacuum, i was pulled like a dirt on the ceramic floor

i felt my whole system starts to penetrate on an endless tunnel and my mind gets drifted into a different cycle and my body was hurled into a place that i'm not colloquial into because the feeling was so different from my room, the tip of the grass starts to tickle on my back and on my upper limb which makes me retrieved my senses back and the hefty creases alongside with the waterline on my eyes, we're beginning to open

Small unhappy eyes squinting, sunken cheeks, square face, clear skinned, unidentifiable features, red irises surrounded by a black sclera and the half portion of the face was blaring with black color. Very unusual for a human being. That's the first thing, i saw when i unbolt my eyes

I receptively, get up and starts to rummage the whole place, very dark and scary. Fireflies are all over the place but the darkness still overpowers the little light they brought. i looked down, only to see a copious of gravestones on the ground

I can't find any words to say even though we have millions of words and twenty to thirty thousand words we're used everyday by any person

But where am I? What is this place? and who is he?

I jolted my gaze to the person or a indescribable being, i don't know what to call him? his dark and heavy features are far from the usual features of a normal human being. his orbs are more scary this time with how his crimson red iris are moving excessively

He looked at me with a little melancholy in repose

"W-what is this place?" i said in a assertive tone and thankfully, i said it without looking horified cause honestly, there's no frightening about him or he's just about to unfold his demonic side?

"This is Lachtour, a place for Ghouls and you're in a historical era." He said it with his belligerent tone

"Historical Era? and Ghouls?" I asked while bringing and connecting my hands near my mouth while showing some signs of being shocked and staggered

But as far as i know, Ghouls are desert-dwelling and shapeshifting demon, I've seen Ghouls mostly on comic books only but I had never expected that I would see a Ghoul in personal. His looks are way more ferocious than the pictures in comic books

His face remains the same, 'stable' it is if I must say but i noticed a dark aura surrounding the edges of his external body

He came near me and grabbed my hand so tight that i can almost absorb the pain penetrating within my callus palms

"Yes, Ghouls and we're dangerous creatures, we're ten times stronger than a normal human being and we eat flesh." He said it while grinning the fore-front of his teeths that looks sharp and leans forward to my earlobes, those last words are callous but instead of being bothered by some obnoxious things, i am more bothered about the loud pounding of my heart and the butterflies tickling my stomach

He lifted my face up while the tip of his fingers felt nice on my chin

"Why are you not perturbed or even scared? you know that i can devour you in an instant." He said it while his red with a little hint of black orbs are looking straight through my eyes and once in a little while, i did saw an iota of 'pity' within the corner of his orbs but it disperse abruptly

"I'm not scared because for me, you don't look scary and if you really wanna eat me alive then you can have done it earlier." I said while trying to be derisive and I think that it's effective, i can tell it by how his jaws moved a bit and his forehead etched into perpendicular lines which only means that he's enrage already

and my little moments we're disturbed when he pulled me more closer to him which makes our body clashing but instead of minding the pain, the only thing that's been constantly on the inner corners of my mind is how my heart pumps so badly and it looks like there's an on-going riot inside my chest, then a smile formed my lips

"From all of the mortals that came here, you're the first one who's brave enough to smile in this chaotic world." While he's saying those words, i can feel my emotions toned down

"We normal human beings usually smile when we feel happy and cry when we feel sad but to tell you honestly, for how many years of being immuned with the cruelty of the world, this is my second time smiling. The first one is when I had my first Dog." I reciprocated while putting my free hand on the top his forehand where it is clutching my other hand

I can feel his hands moving, taking it back at his oblique

"How does if feel to be a mortal?" I can sense that his face we're calmer this time while saying the question that I find hard to answer. With all the bad things I had experienced as a human being, I can't convey any answers cause if i need to go through some unbearable tribulations to know how it feels to be treated as a human and not some sort of stranger, then i would be willing to undergo such circumstances

"Actually, I don't know. All my life, I was just treated as invincible and gets judged by many people just because i'm gay. my life was never amazing, only dark and depressing." I was on the verge of crying while voicing out my problems to a stranger and a ghoul cause I feel like he wouldn't judge me because he's different

I don't want to cry at this very moment but my eyes are traitors,
I can't help it!

My knees emanciated and my upper body is aching so hard until minutes had passed and I was on ground already and my arse settles on a gravestone

"Hey, did I do something to make your eyes look like a water pump?" He perched on the ground while levelling his face on mine. The obscure feeling starts to enter into my system again and my heart throbs so loud than it was before

"Maximus." He continued but it just made me discombulated

"What?" I replied in confusion

"Maximus is my name." He said while tapping my back and his pale fingers are pointing at the rectangular portal located at the area where I first landed

The portal is slowly closing now where the two thresholds are starting to vanish

"I am Kayrus and I have no intentions of coming back, I wanted to stay here forever." I said it while looking directly into his orbs

"But this place is not for you human, anytime soon, I might need your flesh to regain my strength." he replied using his candid tone

"That's okay, I would be very much willing to a sacrifice myself if it means that I'd be staying here with you. it would be my pleasure to be a sheep to a ferocious creature" I leaned my head closer to him, only to find out how his expression altered from being aggrieved to being astounded. I don't know what it means because according to the comic books, their physiognomy never change

Whatever my heart is indicating, i'd let it guide me right now

He smiled sheepishly as he draw nearer to me while the doors way back to earth has been closed

"I'm very much jaded about eating dead corpse so, for a change, I'd like to know what does it taste looks like to eat a lively human being." His dark and inky lips starts to attack mine

I don't know if this is the best decision I've ever made but I wanted to be in his world even if it means that I need to leave the place that i'm used to

"Ahbak jiddaan." He said it in between our kiss, I don't know what it really means but I just nod out of gratification

His lips reaches my neck and I can feel his sharp teeth penetrating my moult and his long fingernails are also infiltrating into my feet. I moaned so hard cause it hurts so bad

"If you really wanted to be here with me, I should make you a Ghoul also." He said near my earlobes and began tearing my garments apart and starts to lick my whole body, his saliva has a cooling effect and every parts of my body starts to drench in pain

If this is the love that i'm waiting for then I would love to have this

"Ant li alan." He said an alien word again before my eyes drifted into darkness.