I enjoyed scrolling through my facebook newsfeed, when I received a friend request from someone. So I checked my notification to see who it was. And I was shocked when I saw his name and profile.

I trembled upon seeing his name, Until I didn't notice that I already accepted his friend request.

I don't know how many minutes I looked at his display profile. Until one message suddenly pop up on my messenger. 

"Hi Joyce, How are you?"

I shivered, "J-Jayson?" I replied.

"Yes, It's me. How are you? It's been 5 years already, I thought you'll be back?" He suddenly asked. 

I was stunned by his words.

Paano ako babalik, kung wala na akong babalikan. I was about to say those words, Pero bigla siyang nag video call. 

Sa sobrang excite ko, sinagot ko agad kahit kabado pa ako. 

And there after so fvcking 5 years, I saw his handsome face again. Na pangarap kong matitigan mula noon, hanggang ngayon.

"Kamusta kana? Long time no chats ah." He said.

My lips slowly formed a small smile, "O-Okay lang naman. I-Ikaw kamusta ka naman? Kailan ka pa gumawa ng facebook Account?" Tanong ko.

He chuckled, "Ah, Last December lang. Si Jena kasi ginawan ako." natatawang sagot niya.

My smile slowly faded.

Ang sakit marinig ng pangalang 'yon mula sa kan'ya. I know who's Jena anyway. Sa loob ng ilang taon hindi naman ako nawalan ng balita. Hindi lang ako nagpaparamdam pero alam ko ang lahat sa kaniya. 

"I-I see, Nga pala-"

"Papa! Papa!"

Rinig kong sigaw ng boses bata sa kabilang linya. Unti-unting nag-init ang sulok ng mata ko habang nakatitig sa nakangiting mukha ni Jayson.

"Oh Janice, halika dito may papakilala ako sa'yo." 

Mariin akong napapikit at lumihis sa camera. Ayokong tumingin, ayokong makita. Masyadong masakit pala kapag nasa harapan mo na. 

"Joyce, Nand'yan kapa?" 

I let out a deep breath before I looked back at the camera. "A-Ah yes, sorry nawawala ang signal." Pagdadahilan ko, habang may hilarious na ngiti sa labi.

"Gano'n ba, ayos lang. Oo nga pala anak ko si Janice." Sabi niya habang nagkatitigan pa kami sa screen. 

I tried to make a wide smile. Para lang maitago ang sakit sa dibdib ko. 
 

"H-Hello baby girl." Bati ko.

Hindi ko alam pero parang naiiyak ako kaya umiwas agad ako ng tingin sa screen. 

The baby girl chuckles, "Hi po auntie, hehe." her angelic voice makes me insecure.
 

"Ahmm... J-Jayson? Nawawala ang signal ko. Mamaya na lang ulit." Biglang sabi ko.

I could see how his face looked so happy while staring into his daughter. Before he glanced at me. "Sige--"

Hindi ko na siya pinatapos at agad ko ng pinatay ang tawag. Kasabay ng pagtulo ng luhang ilang taon kong pinigilan. 

Kasalanan ko naman ang lahat, ang tanga ko kasi hindi ako bumalik agad. I was 13 years old back then, and he's already 15 years old ng magkakilala kami.

Masyado pang bata para magmahal. Pero masyado kaming pasaway kaya sinubukan namin. 

Akala namin maraming magiging hadlang. Pero naging legal kami both side. Legal ako sa pamilya niya at legal din siya kila lolo, except kay mama. 

Akala ko maayos na ang lahat pero mali ako. Dahil dumating sa puntong kailangan naming bumalik ng Maynila. 

Masakit mawalay sa kaniya, kaya umalis kami ng hindi ako nagpapaalam. I left him hanging, I left him without any words, I left him without saying goodbye. 

Pagdating sa Maynila. I immediately called him using my keypad phone. And yeah, He was mad at me. But in the end he forgave me. And he said he will wait for me no matter what. 

But months later we lost our communication. He lost his phone and he doesn't like any social media account. Kaya ang pinsan niya naging way namin para magkausap kami. 

Pero natapos din because of some reasons. Kaya tuluyan ng naputol ang communication namin. 

Then another year had passed, Nabalitaan ko nalang na nakabuntis siya.