So, has anyone ever felt so off in a place? Where u knew u weren't supposed to be there because u dont know what even is going on?

I imagine everyone at least once felt that.

But just so u know, lately im feeling like that.

Not only in real life, college, driving classes, parties, going out w friends and so on.

I've been feeling like that everywhere also on the internet. Skype calls, discord convos, anything and everything.

I just am out of place.

The last time i felt like that, I restarted from zero, cutting all ties with so many people, but not friends.

For some reason, maybe because i wanted to go as myself and no one else like i was doing many years ago, its hard to "start from zero".

So I decided something.

Fuck it.

Im not starting from zero, im not giving up everything i have been doing for the past 2 years and just throw it out of the window.

Im not going to leave this time.

I learned that if i wanted something to change, i have to change it myself and not depending on others to help me do so.

I always have been told by my family to not depend on anyone, but it's impossible since we are a society and not "lonely wolfs" as some try to be.

We always depend on someone to help us, even if we dont notice.

So im not starting from zero.

Im not giving up 2 years of various friendships i did and im not throwing everything i built away.

I now have worthy friends who do deserve to have someone on their back, pushing them to their life goals or taking them off cliffs.

I still feel like im not enough for anyone and i still feel like i need to do more even if i cant.

I still feel useless wherever im.

But im not leaving until im proved wrong.

For the first time in my life, i dont feel like resetting everything.

I did it when i went to my first school, i did it when i went to my second school, i did it when i went to high school, when i went to my third school, and i was waiting to do so when i went to college.

But now.

Im not starting from zero anymore.

Im moving on with whatever i have now and move on.

Im not gonna give up on anything im doing now because I failed the first time.

Im gonna keep doing until i have no more straight.

And then after a tea break...

Move on.