Hi, hi! I am back with another part of my Hyunchan one-shot series. If you haven't read my previous two one-shots, you should totally go check them out. They're called Wear My Heart on My Sleeves and Loving You is Easy. You don't need to read them before reading this one-shot, but it may make a tad bit more sense if you check those out before diving into this one. For those who have already read the first two, this takes place pretty much right after the events of the previous one-shot. With that said, let's get back into this crazy world of love confessions and unrequited love.

When Hyunjin was in elementary school, his parents got into one of the only arguments they ever had. Or at least that he ever witnessed. They had gone to the grocery store and they ran into his appa's first love. It was an awkward affair, with his father stuttering over his words and his eomma speaking formally through gritted teeth. Hyunjin didn't think it was a big deal, until they had returned home and his parents started shouting. His eomma yelled at his appa for being so attracted to his first love, while his father denied any feelings for any woman besides his wife, in a guilty tone.

Hyunjin was more confused at that moment than ever before. He knew how important a first love was, but to him it didn't matter whether it was the first or the thirtieth. Love was love. Something that grows and goes away, but most importantly, it stays when it's true. Hyunjin, at that age, didn't know much about love. But, he knew that his appa loved his eomma and not his first love. He knew because when someone falls in love with somebody new, the old love they had fades away. The feelings are just gone because that person loves this new person and not the old person. It's as simple as that. Little Hyunjin didn't know just how wrong he was. Cause love is a very complicated thing, and Hyunjin finds that out the hard way.

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"Oh my gosh, stop it!" Hyunjin exclaims as he punches Chan's shoulder.

"I can't help it! You're so ticklish and your face gets all pouty and your little laugh. Ugh, you kill me, Hwang Hyunjin" Chan chuckles, "You're just so cute!" He throws his arms around his boyfriend and pulls him against his chest. Hyunjin sighs and shakes his head, but leans into the embrace with a smile as he places his head against Chan's broad shoulders. The two sit side by side on the big black couch in Chan's studio. They've been there for hours, basking in each other's presence, still riding off the high of becoming an item. "You are whipped for me," Hyunjin teases.

"Takes one to know one..." Chan murmurs as he tucks Hyunjin's head under his chin. Hyunjin rolls his eyes, but doesn't say anything in response. He just lets his eyes fall shut and relaxes. His lips curl into a smile and his heart thrills happily as Chan begins to link their fingers together. Hyunjin doesn't know how he ended up in this situation. After all the unrequited crushes he had, he had zero expectations for any of his affections to be returned. But, Chan surprised him. Just as falling in love with him surprised him too. He's known the older for so long and he's always loved him as a friend, but now his feelings towards him have become so much more. It's crazy and makes no sense, but Hyunjin couldn't care less. For a long while, he's felt alone and unlovable. Chan changed that. Chan filled his life with light and care. Chan made him realize that there's nothing wrong with wearing his heart on his sleeves, especially when there's someone around to protect it. "What are you thinking about?" Chan asks.

"Just us..." Hyunjin answers.

"Us, huh?" Chan questions before smiling, "I like that...that we're an us now..." Hyunjin giggles at those words and slowly sits up from where he's been laying on Chan's chest. He reaches a hand out to grasp at his neck and brings their faces close together. Chan hums happily as their foreheads press against one another. Their eyes lock on each other and dopey grins appear on their faces. "You have little stars in your eyes," Chan whispers as he reaches his own hand up to stroke at Hyunjin's hair.

"You have little stars right here and here," Hyunjin replies as he uses his other hand to gently poke at his boyfriend's dimples. Chan lets out a soft chuckle before pulling their foreheads apart and bringing their lips together in a burst of passion. Hyunjin gasps in surprise as his lips are engulfed by his boyfriend. He quickly relaxes though as the warm breath of his boyfriend tickles his skin and the honey taste of his mouth melds with his own. He tightens his hold around his neck bringing their bodies close together. Chan's fingers trail along his back, sending chills down his spine. He smiles against his boyfriend's lips as Chan slowly pulls away. "I can't wait to do this with you every single day," Chan hums. Hyunjin opens his mouth to say something, but finds himself frozen after hearing those words. His heart thumps in his chest and a sweat starts to build at the back of his neck. He doesn't understand why, but he can feel fear fill his veins. He tentatively looks up at Chan, who is still smiling at him brightly. His stomach churns as he slowly forces himself to speak. "Yeah...um...me too," Hyunjin murmurs.

"Is something wrong?" Chan asks in a concerned tone, noticing instantly that there was an issue.

"No, no, it's silly," Hyunjin admits,

"I doubt that," Chan sighs, "What is it?"

"I...I...well...I was wondering if we could keep our relationship a secret," Hyunjin says, avoiding his boyfriend's gaze. He hates his request as soon as it's out of his mouth. It's such a cliche thing. Something out of a damn fanfiction in an attempt to create angst. And Hyunjin hates angst. He would rather things be happy and fluffy and things end with happily ever after. But, he doesn't know how else to deal with this numbing feeling in his gut. He wants to tell people. He wants to do all those mushy things he's seen other couples do at their school, but at the same time he wants to keep his relationship hidden. He wants to keep it safe in this little bubble where nothing can ruin it. Where no one else can walk in and make Chan realize that there's better people to be with than him. He doesn't want love to become sour again and leave a bitter taste in his mouth. He doesn't want to get hurt again. "I'm not ashamed or anything...I just...I love you and I want people to know...but this is all really new and I just...I don't want things to go wrong and then ruin things with our friends in case we don't work out...I'm not saying we won't work out! Cause I love you, hyung, I really do...I just think that maybe...I...I don't know...you can be mad or something...you have every right to be...I mean we just started going out and now I want to keep it a secret....I'm being an amazing partner...aren't I..." Hyunjin rambles anxiously, trying to come up with some excuse as to why he doesn't feel like letting others know his relationship with the older.

"Hey, hey, calm down," Chan says, "You don't need to explain yourself. If you don't want to tell anyone, then that's fine by me."

"R-really?" Hyunjin says in a shocked tone.

Chan nods, "Plus, it'll be fun to keep a little secret...don't you think?" He grins as he presses his lips to Hyunjin's cheek. Hyunjin flashes him a tight-lipped smile to show his gratitude even as guilt starts to eat at him ever so slightly.

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"So...about your showcase this Saturday..." Seungmin says.

"How did you know about my showcase?" Hyunjin questions with raised eyebrows. The two walk side by side down the hallway to their next class. Seungmin answers, "Chan hyung told me about it."

"Of course, he did," Hyunjin murmurs under his breath as his lips curl into a shy smile. His boyfriend has been looking forward to seeing him perform at his showcase since he first told him a little less than a month ago. Chan does claim to be super excited to see him dance, but Hyunjin thinks his intrigue is mostly because he now has an excuse to spoil him rotten. Almost every day, his boyfriend has supplied him with good food and plenty of cuddles, saying that he needed to take care of himself both physically and mentally. Hyunjin chuckles quietly as he thinks of the crazy young man he's in love with. "I was thinking of coming to watch you," Seungmin states, breaking Hyunjin out of his thoughts.

"What? Really?" Hyunjin says in surprise, "You don't have to."

"I want to though," Seungmin grins, "I've heard so much about your prowess in dance, but I've never actually seen you perform. This is my chance to."

Hyunjin shakes his head, "It's not going to be anything special. You really don't have to come."

"Please," Seungmin scoffs, "It's going to be great. Plus, Minho hyung is going to be performing too. And he would kill me if I'm not there. But, between you and me...I'm only going to support my Hyunjinnie!" Hyunjin feels his heart skip a beat in his chest as he hears the affectionate nickname. His lips slowly curl into a wide smile as he looks at Seungmin shyly. He can't believe that Seungmin would really take the time out of his schedule just to see him perform like a three minute piece. Even when Hyunjin told him not to come, Seungmin still insisted. He genuinely seems to care about cheering him on. Hyunjin can't help but feel giddy at the thought of Seungmin sitting in the audience on that day. It means more to him than his friend will ever know. "If you insist...I guess you can come," Hyunjin says.

"Great! I can't wait to see our star in his natural habitat," Seungmin teases, nudging Hyunjin.

"Stop it," Hyunjin whines, looking away shyly, "I'm nervous enough as it is. Don't expect too much, Minnie..."

"Hey, seriously though," Seungmin says as he reaches for Hyunjin's hand, "You're going to do great. I know you are." He squeezes Hyunjin's hand and flashes him a small smile. Hyunjin glances down at their linked hands and his eyes widen slightly. He can feel his skin buzz with excitement and his entire focus becomes locked on the feeling of Seungmin's fingers wrapped around his own. "T-thanks," Hyunjin stutters. Seungmin nods his head as he squeezes Hyunjin's hand again, making his heart thump inside his chest.

Suddenly, a loud ringing of the school bell echoes through the hallway. "Crap!" Seungmin exclaims as he starts to take off running. Hyunjin can't help it as a silly smile graces his face as Seungmin tugs him forward. The two dash down the hall, curling around people in order to make it to class on time. They finally come to a stop in front of an open doorway and rush inside. The teacher glances at them with narrowed eyes, glancing up at the clock and then back at them. Seungmin quickly mouths an apology and Hyunjin grins as his chest rises up and down as he tries to catch his breath. He feels giddy as he thinks about the rush he felt, running alongside Seungmin to class. As if he was living out some kdrama as the lead. "Just take your seats," The teacher sighs, "I'm letting you both go with a warning, but you better not be late to class again."

"Yes, ma'am," They chorus as they bow to their teacher.

"Jinnie," A voice whispers. Hyunjin slowly tilts his head up and looks around the class before spotting his boyfriend sitting by the windows. Chan flashes him a smile and waves at him. Hyunjin grins and starts to raise his own hand when he remembers that it is still interlocked with Seungmin's. His eyes widen and he quickly yanks his hand away from his friends. His heart races in his chest as he replays what just happened mere moments before. Why in the world did he react like that? Why was he so attracted to Seungmin at that moment? No. No. He likes Chan. He's with Chan. This isn't because he has feelings for Seungmin. That was an unrequited crush from the past. It's nothing. Yeah, nothing. Hyunjin purses his lips together as he stands up straight and walks over to sit beside his boyfriend, not even turning to look at Seungmin, partially out of guilt, but more so out of fear.

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"Hi, hyung!" Hyunjin says in a cheery tone as he peeks his head through the doorway to Chan's studio. He walks inside and closes the door behind him. He walks over to the desk where his hyung is working diligently. "Does it kill you to say hello?" Hyunjin huffs, "I only came cause you asked me too..."

"You'll forgive me when you hear this," Changbin says as he pulls his headphones off his head. He spins his chair to the side and flashes Hyunjin a confident grin. Hyunjin looks at him with a curious expression as he reaches for the headphones and places them over his ears. Changbin reaches over to tap the spacebar on his computer before turning to watch Hyunjin's reaction. Hyunjin nods his head along to the beat as the song plays. There's a rhythm to it, something that you can't help but dance along to. The progression and the sound changes are just like something that Changbin would craft. Hyunjin finds himself smiling as the song continues to build, the sound of his hyung's voice emphasizing the track. When the song comes to a close, Hyunjin claps his hands and cheers. "Another amazing song produced by the one and only Seo Changbin," Hyunjin says. He pulls the headphones off and passes them back to the older one. "Based on that....I'm guessing you liked it?" Changbin says.

Hyunjin nods, "I like everything you do, Bin hyung. You know this."

"Thanks, Hyunjin-ah," Changbin says, his eyes avoiding the dancers in a flustered manner. Hyunjin grins at his reaction, finding it cute how even after all this time Changbin still can't take praise. He may act all tough and macho, but he is a big softie at heart. "What's it for?" Hyunjin asks, "Are you putting it in a new mixtape?"

"I was going to, but it wasn't fitting with my other tracks," Changbin explains, "So, I pulled it and made some changes, so it would work better as a dance track..."

"A dance track?" Hyunjin echoes with furrowed brows, "Why would you want to make it into a dance track?"

"For you," Changbin states, "I don't know if it's too late to change your accompaniment or anything, but I made it for you to use in your showcase." Hyunjin's eyes widen in surprise and his chest feels light as if joy is actually coming alive inside him and taking flight. A wide smile graces his face as he looks at Changbin with a touched expression. "Really?" Hyunjin questions.

Changbin nods, "Only use it if you want to though. Don't feel pressured just cause I made it or anything."

"Of course, I want to!" Hyunjin exclaims, "I've never got to dance to an original track before! I always just use pop songs. This will really make me stand out during the showcase. Thank you so much, Binnie hyung!" He immediately wraps his arms around Changbin's neck. He buries his face against his chest and squeezes him tight. Changbin stiffens for a second, not expecting the embrace, but slowly wraps his own arms around the lithe dancer. He hums happily and his eyes fall shut with content. He feels giddy after being given something so special. He knows Changbin has always been sort of protective over his songs, he doesn't just give them out to anybody. The fact that he gave him one that he was originally going to produce as his own means so much. Not to mention the fact that when he did remove it from his tracklist, he immediately thought of giving it to Hyunjin to use. His heart sings at the thought of getting such a precious gift from someone as talented as Changbin. It makes him feel really, really special. "You are amazing, Seo Changbin. No, you're more than amazing. You're stupendous and talented and a godsend! You hear me? You are a damn godsend," Hyunjin exclaims, letting his feelings explode from his mouth like fireworks into the night sky, "You have no idea how thankful I am. This means the world to me. I promise to perform my heart out with your absolutely stunning track. I'll do your hard work justice."

"I'm sure you will..." Changbin chuckles, "And don't go thanking me too much, I was actually going to trash the song, but Chan hyung said I should give it to you inside and I decided that it was a good idea."

"Chan hyung..." Hyunjin hums underneath his breath, slowly nodding his head which is still buried in Changbin's chest. "Wait...what?!" Hyunjin shrieks. His eyes shoot open and he quickly pulls away from his tight embrace with Changbin. His blood runs cold and his actions begin to replay in his head. What is wrong with him? Why in the world was he going all goo goo eyes on Changbin again? And why did he think so much into giving him one of his songs? It's not that deep. He's acting like someone who just got something from their crush. Wait...crush? No. No. No. Hyunjin doesn't have a crush on Changbin. He did. But, not anymore. He likes Chan now. "Yeah..." Changbin continues, "He kept going on about how it would be a perfect song to dance to and how it fits your style and all that...so if you're going to thank anyone...it should be Chan hyung."

Hyunjin staggers away from Changbin, putting some distance in between the two. His eyes dart back and forth anxiously, still not able to comprehend what in the world is wrong with him. "Hey, are you okay?" Changbin asks in a concerned tone. He stands out of his seat and grabs a hold of Hyunjin's shoulder. The action surprises Hyunjin and makes him stumble over his feet. He yelps as he begins to fall back, but thankfully, Changbin is able to catch him just in time. Hyunjin's eyes widen as he feels Changbin's hand run along the small of his back. His heart skips inside his chest and he can feel his face flush. What is wrong with him? Changbin is dating Felix. And he is dating Chan! Why is he getting all flustered? He shouldn't be reacting like this. He doesn't feel that way about Changbin anymore. Right? Right?! Just then, the door opens and Chan walks through the door. His phone is in his hand and he doesn't notice the two already inside. Hyunjin's heart clenches as he quickly stands up and shoots over to his boyfriend. "Hi, hyung!" Hyunjin says.

"Hi, Jinnie," Chan says with a soft smile. Hyunjin feels his heart warm inside his chest as he meets the caring eyes of his boyfriend. The feelings are all still there. That means he still likes Chan. Which means that nothing has changed. But, Hyunjin knows that is far from the truth. Between what happened with Seungmin yesterday to this interaction with Changbin, there is something severely wrong with him. He just doesn't know what. Hyunjin's head spins and he feels tears start to build in the back of his eyes. He feels like a snow globe and all of his emotions are being shaken inside him, but instead of creating a beautiful winter wonderland, there's just a sickening amalgamation of messed up feelings.

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It took Hyunjin a couple of days of thinking to figure out what could possibly be wrong with him. And a couple more to hash it over in his brain because he refused to accept it. He still doesn't accept it. After all, he put his crushes to the side as soon as he knew he didn't stand a chance. There's no way that he still harbors feelings for those same individuals. Especially, when the Hyunjin has finally found someone who returns his affections. It's wrong. How can he still get giddy when they touch? Or smile like a complete idiot at their every action? How can he when freaking Christopher Bang is his boyfriend? He is a catch in so many ways. He is the perfect size for cuddling. And his arms can make anyone feel warm and protected. Not to mention, he's got abs for days. He has warm chocolate brown eyes that glitter with care and affection. When he smiles, he gets these adorable little dimples and his accent is to die for.

Even beyond his physical attributes, Hyunjin has never met a more thoughtful and selfless person. He is constantly worrying about others and always has the right words to brighten up anyone's day. And, of course, he is freaking talented. Is there something that man can't do? Chan is absolutely everything and he means everything to Hyunjin. And it just makes him feel ten times worse that he feels anything beyond friendship with his former crushes. He doesn't understand why he even has these emotions in the first place. He doesn't want to be with them anymore. He's happy with Chan and now he's going to be the one to ruin it. Not someone else. Him! He was going to destroy the first real love story he's ever been able to experience.

Hyunjin sighs as he walks around backstage, searching for his boyfriend. He had just danced his heart out for his showcase and did pretty well considering all the things weighing on him. Nonetheless, his anxiety hasn't lessened as he looks desperately for Chan, praying to run into him before any of their friends. Hyunjin had realized that the only way to put a stop to all of his ridiculous feelings was to avoid the people making him have them. So he did his best to steer clear of his three former crushes, using the fact that he was practicing for his performance as an excuse. He luckily has had lots of success. He hasn't run into any of his friends and he plans on keeping it that way until any stupid butterflies he has die down. "Hyunjin!" A familiar voice calls out to him. Hyunjin turns to look and his limbs tense when he sees Minho smirking at him. He quickly whirls back around and grimaces. He starts to walk away, pretending that he didn't hear his friend. "Yah, where are you going!?" Minho snaps, "I know you heard me."

"Damnit," Hyunjin mutters as he stops moving. He squeezes his eyes shut and prays all of this is a bad dream. He is startled out of his wishmaking as Minho bumps into him as he throws his arms over his shoulder. Hyunjin shivers at the feeling and slowly opens his eyes. He slowly turns his head to the left and gasps when he sees how close Minho's face is to his. "Are you ignoring me?" Minho asks in a dark tone.

"N-no!" Hyunjin stutters, "I didn't see you..."

Minho chuckles and reaches up to ruffle Hyunjin's hair, "Cute..." Hyunjin feels his breath catch in his throat and his cheeks heat up. He bites at his tongue and curses at himself from inside his head. He needs to relax. It's just Minho. His fellow dancer and friend. He isn't some really handsome performer who looks really good with his damp hair plastered to his forehead. Hyunjin shakes his head and clears his throat. He tries to move away from Minho, but is unable to as the older holds him in a firm grip. "Hey, where do you think you're going?" Minho questions, "Don't you have something to say to me?"

"I....I...what?" Hyunjin coughs out.

Minho sighs, "Aren't you gonna say anything about my performance?"

"Oh...oh! Yeah, you did great, hyung," Hyunjin says with a smile, "I really like what you did during the bridge. It was really complex and really emphasized the story you were telling."

"That's all?" Minho mutters.

"Uhhhh..." Hyunjin says.

Minho grins, "I'm just joking. Thanks for the compliments. You did well too, Jinnie."

"T-thank you," Hyunjin murmurs as he can feel his face heat up even more. He can feel his lips slowly moving on their own too, even as he tries to force them to remain a straight line. "You did really well considering all the last minute changes you made and I think it really paid off," Minho continues, "This performance was probably the best I've seen out of you. I know how hard and frazzled you must have been when you were adjusting your choreo to fit your new track, but you handled it all so well and you gave a stunning performance, Jinnie. I dare say that you even did better than me." Hyunjin's mouth drops and the entire world slows around him. He can't help it as a million thoughts begin to circle his brain. He can't stop the dopey grin on his face or the small flustered giggle that comes from him. He was prepared for everything that could be thrown at him by Minho, but a compliment like that is beyond anything he could have expected. It's not that his hyung doesn't support him, but he isn't one to use extremely fluffy words like that. And to say that Hyunjin did even better than him. That just never happens. "Thank you, hyung," Hyunjin says in a soft tone, "That means a lot to me."

"Aish...don't get all sappy on me," Minho mutters with a creeping grin on his face, "This is why I don't give you compliments..." Even though the older says those words, it's clear that he doesn't mean them. He reaches his arm up to ruffle Hyunjin's hair and gives him a fleeting side hug. Hyunjin feels his insides melt like butter as he leans closer to Minho, staring up at his hyung with innocent intrigue. Minho doesn't seem to notice though, his gaze having locked suddenly on someone standing by the edge of the wings. Hyunjin slowly follows his gaze and he feels like everything shatters when he spots Jisung, a wide toothy smile on his face and a big bouquet clenched in his hands. Minho's arm slips from around his shoulders and he darts over to his boyfriend. Hyunjin watches them with a forlorn expression as his chest seizes. His eyes fall to the floor as he is yanked out of his fantasy and back into reality. He purses his lips together as the feeling of rejection settles into his heart again. And even though he has placed his crush on Minho to the side, the fact that the older didn't return the sentiment still feels like a knife slicing him in half. Even though he doesn't have those feelings anymore, the pain still feels fresh. Like it's crushing him. "Hyunjin-ah..."

Hyunjin whips his head up and looks to the side. His entire body freezes and dread chills him to the bone. Chan is standing mere inches away from him. He holds a single rose in his hand and a medium sized stuffed dog in the other. He is dressed in a crisp button down and his hair is nearly combed. His eyes appear steely and his lips are forced into a smile. Hyunjin screams internally as his eyes start to water. He blinks rapidly in an attempt to hide his emotions. His mouth feels dry and his stomach churns. He feels sick. He did it again. He let the emotions he put to the side come back. And Chan saw it. He saw him crumble in front of a crush that he doesn't have anymore. His boyfriend saw him blush and have feelings for another man. This is it. The end of his love story. The end of his friendship. Everything he feared is going to happen. And it's all his fault. Hyunjin has ruined everything. "Hyungie!" Hyunjin forces out. He launches himself into Chan's arms, pressing his face deep into his shoulder. He breathes in deeply and squeezes his eyes shut. He knows he messed up, but for now he doesn't want to deal with it. He wants one last day to be Chan's boyfriend. He wants one last moment where things are just the way he thought they would be. No confusing emotions. No old crushes. Just him and Chan.

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Although it was clear that Chan saw Hyunjin and what he did after the showcase, the Aussie native never mentioned it. It scared Hyunjin and just made him feel ten times guiltier. He was sure that he would confront him later that night and end things. He thought that their relationship would be over, but it wasn't. Chan acted like normal. Like nothing happened and he didn't see anything. Any other person would probably have seen it as a hail Mary. But not Hyunjin. He knew that Chan had saw. And he knew that this wasn't something that he should hide. All relationships fail when lying was involved. Even if his is already doomed because he can't keep his eyes off of crushes from the past, he still doesn't think it's right to lie and pretend anymore. Not to Chan, who deserves the whole world and so much more. And so he promised himself that he would talk to Chan as soon as possible.

Hyunjin bites his lip and wrings his hands together nervously as he paces in front of Chan's studio. His boyfriend is sitting inside without a clue that he's out here and about to admit to everything that he's done. His entire being feels numb, having sobbed his heart out all night. The pain is still there, but Hyunjin is used to it. He's braced himself for this. He takes a deep breath before turning to the door and opening it before he can second guess himself. He slips into the room and his eyes immediately find his soon to be ex. Chan is bopping his head and tapping his fingers against the table, his headphones placed over his ears. Hyunjin walks over to him at a normal pace, but to him it feels as if the entire world is moving at a snail's pace. His throat feels tight and he knows he is seconds from crying again, but he does his best to keep his composure.

"Hyung..." Hyunjin murmurs as he gently taps Chan on the shoulder. Chan turns his head and smiles when he sees Hyunjin. He pushes his headphones off his head and wraps his arm around Hyunjin's waist. He tugs him close and Hyunjin finds himself being positioned onto Chan's lap. His heart cracks as he wraps his arms around Chan's neck and leans into his chest. He leans his face into the crook of his neck and lets out a sigh. He can feel Chan's hands running up and down his waist, causing more emotions to bubble inside him. He squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath, savoring this moment as the last one where he'll ever be this close to Chan. The last time where he can be intimate with the person he loves. The last time where they're still a couple. "I didn't know you were coming..." Chan murmurs as he presses a peck to the top of his head.

"Yeah..." Hyunjin says in a hardened tone, "I wanted to talk to you about something..." Chan slowly pulls away from the embrace and he looks up at Hyunjin with a concerned expression. He reaches a hand up to place his palm on his cheek and gently runs his finger along his skin. "Is something wrong?" Chan questions. Hyunjin slowly nods before slipping off of Chan's lap and back onto his feet. He takes a couple of steps back, putting some distance between the two of them. He looks Chan straight in the eye before speaking in a quivering tone. "I...I'm sorry, hyung," Hyunjin says.

"For what?" Chan asks.

"You know what," Hyunjin states stiffly, "You saw what happened after the showcase. You...you know that I...I've been...unfaithful..." Chan frowns at those words and shakes his head. He stands from his seat and tries to reach out for Hyunjin's hand but the younger pulls his hands out of reach. "Hyunjin-ah, whatever it is that you think you did. I can assure you that you didn't," Chan says in a serious tone.

"I did though, hyung," Hyunjin exclaims, "And I know you know it too and you're just pretending because you're being nice or something...but I can't pretend it never happened. I'm not that type of person to do something bad behind my boyfriend's back!"

"You're not doing anything, Jinnie," Chan says in a comforting tone, "Having feelings-"

"Having feelings for someone other than the person I'm with is doing something!" Hyunjin cries, "Whenever I'm around them my heart skips a beat and I get all flustered and I turn into butter. It's like I still have a crush on them, but I don't! I know I don't but if I keep having feelings for people that aren't you...that's wrong! It's wrong when I should only be focused on you..."

"Hyunjin..." Chan murmurs.

"I am ruining everything," Hyunjin says, "I asked you to keep this all a secret cause I was scared that someone would come over and try to steal you from me. But, I didn't have to worry about anyone else. I should have been concerned about myself. Cause, of course, it would only be me who could destroy our relationship..."

"You haven't destroyed anything," Chan states.

"I have," Hyunjin murmurs, "And I feel horrible about it. You're such an amazing person. You're so sweet and you care so much. You were there for me when I was at my worst. But, I wasn't there for you. I wasn't a good boyfriend. You don't deserve this, Chan hyung. You deserve someone who will love you unconditionally. You deserve so much more than me..."

"Will you stop talking like that!" Chan shouts, slamming a clenched hand against his desk. Hyunjin jumps and his glassy eyes quake as he stares at his hyung. Chan lets out a breath and shakes his head. He slowly walks over to Hyunjin, whose body is starting to quiver. The emotions are beginning to take its toll on him. "I'm...I'm sorry," Chan whispers, "I shouldn't have screamed.

"No, you should," Hyunjin mutters, "You can be mad at me. Shout and curse at me. I deserve it."

"The only thing that you deserve, Hwang Hyunjin, is this," Chan states as he throws his arms around the younger and squeezes him tightly. Hyunjin tenses and tries to push Chan off of him, but the older holds on tight. Hyunjin whimpers as his watery eyes start to overflow and tears begin to trickle down his cheeks. Guilt still weighs heavy on his heart, coupled with the pain of ending things with the man he loves. "I did know that you still had some lingering feelings for your old crushes," Chan says quietly. He slowly releases Hyunjin from the embrace and guides him to the chair. He positions the crying younger into the seat and bends down so that they are looking at one another eye to eye. "Why didn't you say anything?" Hyunjin sniffles.

Chan shrugs, "I wasn't upset or jealous or anything. Well, I was for a bit, but not anymore."

"You should be," Hyunjin states.

"Why?" Chan sighs, "How can I fault you for having feelings? For not being able to stop one of the hardest things to control..."

"I...I don't have feelings for them anymore though," Hyunjin admits, "I just...I don't even know what's happening to me. I act without even meaning to...it's no excuse but I...I need you to know that I do love you. I know I do! And that's why I can't stay with you when there's some part of me that is still attracted to my old crushes."

"I know," Chan says with a soft smile, "I love you too. And that's why I'm not worried. You have a huge heart, Hyunjin-ah. That heart can hold so many people. And there's nothing wrong with that. Cause when you love, you do it with everything in you. So, of course, you are still going to have feelings for old crushes. That's normal. You and everyone in this world will always remember their first, fifth and even tenth love. It isn't because you're unfaithful. It's because those people are someone that you cared for. They're someone that meant something special to you and those memories don't just fade as soon as you move on or fall in love with someone else." Chan reaches for Hyunjin's hands again and this time the younger doesn't pull away. He lifts them to his lips and presses a kiss to them before squeezing them lightly. "I was anxious for a second cause I have the same doubts as you do," Chan explains, "I know now that I have nothing to worry about because maybe you did have something for those people then, but now isn't then. And I know for a fact that now...in this very moment...you like me and I like you. And that's all that matters. You hold my heart, Hwang Hyunjin...and I like to think that I hold yours too."

Hyunjin stares at Chan with tear-streaked cheeks and glassy eyes. His lips are curled into a pout and he lets out a loud sob before launching himself at Chan. The older grunts as they both go tumbling to the floor. Thankfully, Chan is able to steady them against the wall. Hyunjin pretty much lays on top of him, but Chan doesn't seem to mind, a protective hand laid on his lower back. Hyunjin wraps his arms around his boyfriend and hums as he breathes in his familiar scent. He can't help but feel a bit self-conscious after this whole ordeal so he buries his face into Chan's shirt. "I don't deserve you," Hyunjin whispers.

"You do," Chan hums as he combs his fingers through Hyunjin's hair, "We both do." Hyunjin slowly lifts his head up and meets Chan's gaze, which shines with love and adoration. The two slowly gravitate toward one another and their lips meet. Their kiss is short, but every single feeling and second of dedication they have for one another is there. From the way their bodies meld together to their glittering eyes following their kiss. The love is there. Just as it has always been. And just as it always will be. Hyunjin lets out a breath as he feels his world start to feel like normal again. His feelings for his former crushes are still there, but they're not the same as before. And even now, he thinks the way he feels about his friends is slowly changing. That doesn't mean he's ever going to stop caring about them, and that's alright. He knows that now. He knows that love, regardless of who or when it was, will always be there. Like a memory filled to the brim with nostalgia, carrying all the bad and all the good. And there's nothing wrong with that, cause love is a beautifully complicated thing. And it's that love that is keeping him here with Chan, the man he loves at this very moment. "I guess this means you're not going to break up with me..." Chan says cheekily.

Hyunjin giggles and flashes a wide smile at his boyfriend, "Not in a million years."

Awwww, Channie is such a sweetie. What do you all think? Do you feel like Hyunjin has the right to feel the way he does? Is Chan cutting him some slack or do you think he's just being caring? I want to know what you think in the comments. Also, this originally was just supposed to be a single one-shot. A singular story that started and just ended, but somehow it has developed into this multi-part one-shot series. It's sort of crazy, but I really enjoy writing about this world. I hope that you all like it as well. If you want to see more of this world and see how Hyunchan's relationship develops, please let me know in the comments. Also, please vote, follow me, add this story to your library, and check out my other SKZ stories and one-shots. I hope you have a great rest of your day. Bye~