I am literally am blinded from my tears. The tears would rather stay than spill. It hurts that way. But I am like that. I don't show emotion very easily, its just not me. My mum used to worry about that. She said it wasn't healthy for me, said I would become like my dead father if I did that. We had a massive argument over that. It was quite ridiculous as  Mum overreacts all the time. I get used to it, now ignore her. But now things are different. I wont be seeing Mum until Christmas. That's 11 months away. It was 2 years ago since the suicide. Mum has been a completely different person since then. She used to take me out to places like Luna park, Tunza fun. We would go on vacation as a family and enjoy ourselves. Dad would tell the jokes, Mum would give the gossip. Dad used to talk me for a walk near the river when Mum worked, which was quite a lot. He would tell me his life as a teenager and tell me stories.  He once told me that if he had another child, I would get to choose the name. I remember laughing and telling him I would call it Amy. Amy Harriet to be exact. But my dad never got to do that. Mum had an affair with someone, that crack head. She dated her boss, so that she would get a promotion. But I had to be the one to find out. I went on her phone as perusal, I saw that she had been texting him. I didn't tell Dad, he knew it himself. He knew the whole time. I cam home from school a few weeks after, realising Dad wasn't home. I had been giving Mum the silent treatment the whole few weeks I had known about the affair. I hated her, absolutely hated her. Dad became a missing person exactly 9 hours after I had come home. They found his body in the nearest lake. The one we would go for walks, late at night. The police confirmed he had suicided.

My life. And Dreams. Had shattered.