"i want to exorcise
the demons from your past,
i want to satisfy
the undisclosed desires
in your heart."
- Undisclosed Desires, Muse

╳

My claws retract, hidden back behind my healing knuckles as Frank bursts into the room.

His eyes dart around the small space for a sign of danger, of a cause of my scream. But it's just me, on the floor, breathing heavily.

"Sorry.." I pant, picking myself up. "Just a bad dream. Everything's fine."

I pad quietly past him and head straight to the kitchen. I take a quick drink of water and turn back, but Frank stands in the doorway of the bedroom, blocking my anticipated retreat.

He silently gestures for me to sit down.

After a moment of hesitation, I go take a seat in the lounge room, on the little armchair opposite his couch.

Still shaken from my nightmare, my knee bounces up and down while Frank moves about the kitchen.

He finally makes his way over, two mugs in hand. Sitting on the edge of the couch, he pushes a white mug across the coffee table towards me.

"Drink some of this, it'll calm you down." he says quietly.

"That's not really how caffeine works." I mumble, neglecting the mug. Knee already bouncing and heart rate already up, the last thing I need is caffeine. If it even affects me these days.

"Suit yourself." he says.

I hug my arms to myself while Frank takes a sip from his own mug.

"..Where'd you go?" I ask quietly, trying to distract myself.

Frank looks me up and down for a moment.

"To see a friend." he answers.

I nod, knee still bouncing.

"You wanna try talkin' to me?" he suggests gently.

I drop my gaze to the floor and let my hair fall forward. "You got your own shit, you don't need mine." I mumble.

"..Sounded like a hell of a bad dream in there." he comments.

I frown deeply to stop my face from crumpling. Shifting in my seat, I keep my eyes downcast.

"Was it a bad dream? Or a flashback?" he asks.

Keeping Frank in the dark is only going to insult his intelligence. He's not stupid.

"A combination of the two." I finally answer. I lift my glossy eyes to Frank's perceptive stare, and swallow hard. "My mother.. my brother.." I pause, horrified to say it out loud.

Frank waits patiently.

"..they were murdered."

Frank's eyes portray a deep sympathy that almost breaks me.

"..When?" he asks quietly.

"..About three weeks ago."

"I'm sorry." he says with full sincerity.

I nod at him in thanks. "Yeah.. Me too." I whisper, and start chewing on my lip.

"The people coming after you.. They do it?"

I nod my head.

"Why?"

I remain silent, leaving Frank to try and fill in the gaps.

"You see something you weren't supposed to? Take something from them? What?"

"More like.. they're trying to take something from me." I reply cryptically.

"And what's that?"

My name. My free will. My soul. Everything that makes me human.

I fall silent once more, unsure how to answer.

"I can help you." Frank tells me. "Probably the only one that can. But only if you talk to me."

A pained expression twists my features. "I'll just get you killed." I whisper. "I'm good at that.."

"Let me ask you something.." Frank starts. "You knew these guys were after you, why'd you'd stop?"

I stare at Frank. Stare at the answer to his question.

"..I met you." I admit quietly. "And I forgot.."

"You forgot?" he scoffs. "How do you forget you got bad guys up your ass?"

"I fucked up, I know.."

"Yes, you did."

"I hadn't noticed anyone on my tail for days.." I attempt to explain. "I wanted to hear the music. Then I met you and.."

Frank's scrutinising gaze waits for me to elaborate.

"I don't know how you did it, but.. you made me feel normal. And content, and.. free. I just wanted to live in it for as long as I could." I breathe out a heavy and embarrassed sigh, and drop my gaze. "Stupid and selfish, I know.." I add, shaking my head.

When my eyes finds his again, his furrowed brows soften, while a look of understanding enters his eyes; a payoff for my vulnerability and honesty.

"And now, here I am, leaving a trail of destruction behind me." I add, my tone filled with distaste. "You got shot. The bar security was killed, other bar goers were injured. The bar was trashed, the motel- trashed. All because-" my breath catches. "..all because of me." Frank's eyes remain full of understanding. I tilt my head, giving him a regretful look. "You're hurt. And you're unsafe.. And it's all my fault. I'm sorry."

"I'm fine."

I let out a humourless laugh. "The stitches I put in your ass would beg to differ."

Frank takes another sip of coffee from his mug, while I look down at my knuckles and sigh.

"He's not gonna stop.." I say, looking back at Frank. "I was foolish to hope otherwise."

"Sometimes, you gotta fight." he states quietly. "And I know you can. So, you take the fight to them."

"..How?"

"You said you hesitated, back at the bar." he says. "You're holding back? Don't."

My whole body stills, as I take in Frank's words, spoken with such a strength and firmness, he makes it sound so simple.

"Way I see it," he continues. "if you're gonna leave a trail of destruction no matter how hard you try not to.. might as well make it count."

I stare at him for a moment, before reaching for my coffee.

"Gotta put your best foot forward." he adds, and I smirk into my cup.

My best foot contains a metal claw.

But that's exactly the point he's making, even if he doesn't have all the information.

I have the means to stop Stryker. All I have to do is find the opportunity. Because Stryker will keep coming after me. Whether I want him to or not. There's no outrunning this.

I've let my fears hold me back. Fear of failing my brother, by disregarding his dying wish. Fear of becoming a beast, of losing my humanity. Fear of the wrong people getting hurt. But fear is getting me no where. It's doing nothing but stacking up bodies.

The wrong people will continue to get hurt, unless I put a stop to it.

I clutch my cup in both hands and look at Frank, wondering if he has any idea just how much power his words really hold.

A/ N

This one's kind of a short chapter with not much happening, so I'm doing a double upload this week. Chapter Fourteen, comin' right up.

references: adapted dialogue from "Scar Tissue", episode 4, The Punisher Season 2.

- K