"'cause the ones we love
are the ones who hurt us."
- Trust No One, Beginners

╳

Please tell me my hearing is busted.

Please tell me I'm trapped in a nightmare.

Please tell me Stryker isn't really here and he didn't just say "Thank you for the cooperation, Mr. Castle."

I can't breathe.

Because my hearing is exceptional.

I'm awake.

Stryker is here and he said exactly that.

Eyes wide, I turn to look at Frank. "You.. you led him here?" I question breathily, in utter disbelief.

"It's what he does, Howlett. He clears the streets of monstrous scum." Stryker sneers from behind me. "He's just finally realised that only I can eradicate you."

Frank looks down at me like.. Like I'm monstrous scum that he can't wait to be rid of.

Frank never went to see Curtis at all..

My mind races to catch up. I feel like I'm standing in a warped nightmare. But it seems last night was the dream, and this is my reality. My vision starts to blur as my eyes brim with tears, and my claws slowly retract back into my arms.

Adding insult to injury, Frank raises his hand and shoots a serum dart into my neck. I wince, choking on a sharp breath at the sting. But the sting of the dart is a tiny little itch compared to the overwhelming sting of Frank's betrayal.

I watch him square up, like he's bracing for my attack.

But I have no fight in me.

After everything I've been through, this is the most defeated I have ever felt. And I can't help but feel he knows this. That he knew this would be my undoing. Frank is smart. Tactful.

..He never cared for me. He never wanted me around. He just played the long game. Kept me around until he knew how to most effectively take me down. But not before he had his fun.

I'm a fool played once again.

Last night, hell, five minutes ago, I had been so sure. So certain on us, on him, on where we stood and how we both felt. But I was wrong.

I was so very wrong.

Frank watches me closely, waiting for me to attack, but for a reason currently too painful to acknowledge, I contain zero desire to hurt him.

I stare into his dark eyes, no longer able to find the warmth of his autumn gaze I favour so deeply. Buried down under the immense feeling of hurt, lay only a feeling of yearning. No anger, no rage.

Men come up from behind and grab me, clamping my hands behind my back to put me in cuffs.

I don't fight it.

I just let the tears fall down my face, while I stare hopelessly at Frank. And I continue to do nothing, letting the men drag me away from him.

It's only when Stryker comes into my field of vision that I remember I'm not simply being taken away from Frank. I'm being taken away to become a mindless killing machine, forced to do Stryker's ill intended bidding.

And if Stryker keeps to his sadistic word, Frank will be my first kill.

With frantic eyes, I begin to search my surroundings, and spot a metal post protruding from a pile of junk on my left. What once was an old lamppost now a broken pole, the severed end jagged and rusted.

I will not let Stryker win.

I break free of the men holding me and throw myself at the post, crying out as I impale myself through my left side, under my ribs. The pain is merely a physical representation of the betrayal ripping a hole in my heart, and it doesn't take long before the taste of warm blood fills my mouth.

My eyes fall on Frank and I notice a subtle flex of his jaw and a slight shift of his weight as he stares at me.

"NO!" Stryker yells and starts screaming orders at his men. He rushes to my side, scolding me for my carelessness.

I spit my mouthful of blood into his face and send him a defiant smile as my serum filled body fails to keep me from healing.

I return my gaze to Frank as my vision starts to falter. With another slight shift of his weight, I think I see a watery glimmer in his eyes. Or maybe I just want to see a watery glimmer in his eyes..

And then I'm coughing, spluttering on my own blood as Stryker's men crowd me and grab hold of me. I bare my blood stained teeth as the men attempt to remove me from the rusted post.

Hands still restrained behind my back, I shoot out my claws and feel them connect with a body. My ears pounding with the laboured beating of my heart, I hear a muffled cry behind me from the man that met my claws.

Dazed, I splutter out a vindictive, bloodied chuckle. Laughing at the man I hit. Laughing at Stryker frantically trying to keep me alive while I injure myself further. Laughing at the fact I fell for Frank's manipulations. At the fact that I fell for Frank at all.

Blood runs down my fingertips from my split knuckles, and I glance down at the metal post still impaled in my side. The small section of pole they've managed to pull me from is slick with my blood. The lower left side of my shirt is sticky red, soaking down onto my jeans. And with my head looking down, more blood oozes out of my mouth.

My gaze then falls upon my feet. I tilt my head at them as a thought slowly works its way through my dazed mind.

Might as well.

I shoot my foot claws out, and blood starts to fill my shoes.

"Get her in the van! NOW!" Stryker screams, before the back of his hand whacks me across the face, snapping my head to the side.

The corners of my mouth twitch in a weak smile and I choke out a chuckle, raising my eyes to meet his. My weak smile grows crookedly.

"You hit like a bitch." I sneer, my words pushing more blood past my lips.

Stryker sets his jaw and pulls back a closed fist.

My eyes flit over to Frank, for one last look before everything goes black.

╳

- FRANK'S POV -

"Thank you for the cooperation, Mr. Castle." the piece of shit announces, so fuckin' smug.

Jen drops her protective stance in front of me and turns to me, eyes wide. "You.. you led him here?" she questions, her incredulous tone nearly a whisper.

"It's what he does, Howlett." Stryker answers for me. "He clears the streets of monstrous scum. He's just finally realised that only I can eradicate you."

I let my hate for this man reside in my features, holding my façade while I stare down at her.

I see it. Her happiness, her trust, her soul.. it's all shattering in those big green eyes.

I'm so sorry, sweetheart..

I could whisper it to her, she and only she would hear it.. But I need this to be as believable as possible, so she has to stay in the dark.

Her head gives a subtle shake as she tries to make sense of what's happening. Her hurt is so fucking evident, she's shell shocked.

Part of me hopes she'll figure out what I'm doing, but as her eyes brim with tears, I know she believes my betrayal. Just like I knew she would.

Crushed by this blow, her claws slowly retreat back inside her hands. Perfect. I've already hurt her enough, I don't need her potentially bleeding out as well. Once they're safely inside and her knuckles heal over, I raise the gun Stryker gave me and shoot a serum dart into her neck. She flinches at the shot and the hurt in her eyes intensifies.

I want to stop everything and tell her the truth. Drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness. But it's for her, that I'm doing this.

I brace myself, tense and ready for her oncoming assault, so sure she'll react with anger. I've manipulated her, again. I've betrayed her, teamed up with Stryker, shot her with serum. All things that I know will enrage her.

But not one ounce of anger comes over her.

She stares up at me with defeated despair, searching my eyes for a trace of my soul.

My soul that she's unknowingly brought back to life..

Tears run down her face as Stryker's men come up behind her with restraints. On the inside I'm smiling. The restraints will bring out her fire. I know how much she despises them.

The men grab her and pull her arms behind her back.

And they cuff her.

Nothing.

No fire. No fight. Not even a flicker of anger.

This has worked better than I anticipated..

Have I fucking broken her?

I want to scream at her to fight. But for this to be working so well, I gotta follow through or it'll all be for nothing.

The men drag her limp form back, heading for the van. If her eyes weren't open and staring at me, I'd assume she's lifeless.

That is, until she catches a glimpse of Stryker. A flicker sparks in her eyes and she balls her fists.

There she is.

I knew she wouldn't go down without a fight.

Her eyes dart around, looking for a way out. Then she breaks out of the men's hold. Pride swells within me at her fire, until she impales herself on a rusted post.

It takes everything in me to not scream and run to her. I clench my teeth and keep my feet planted, subtly shifting my weight. If I react in any way, Stryker will know this is a set up.

"NO!" he yells, before barking orders at his men.

She was supposed to get angry, she was supposed to fight them off as they took her in. Not this. I didn't anticipate this. But as she stands there, blood dripping from her mouth, it's so goddamn clear.

"This is how he loses." she'd said, last time she was full of serum and bleeding to death in my arms.

Fuck!

Stryker's prepared for this though. He'll heal her. He fuckin' better heal her.

He'd assumed she'd fight, too. He didn't bring tranquillisers because he wanted her to fight. So he could immobilise her with bullets, with pain. The sadistic shit wanted her to hurt as payback for thwarting him for so long. Punishment for her disobedience.

I quickly blink away the watery threat in my eyes as I watch her clothes soak crimson. We lock eyes and the eerie calmness, the acceptance, I see in her has my stomach twisting.

Then she's coughing, choking on her own blood. The men start pulling her body from the pole and she grits her blood covered teeth.

The unmistakeable sound of her claws emerging is heard a second before one of the men behind her falls back, crying out in pain, clutching his upper thigh and crotch.

A choked but vengeful little chuckle escapes her, smiling weakly while her eyes fight to stay open. She hangs her head, looking down at herself, and I see her tilting her head in contemplation. Then out shoot her foot claws. Another wound to bleed from, another wound that won't heal.

Hurry the fuck up, Stryker.

"Get her in the van! NOW!" he shouts, before striking her across the face with the back of his hand.

I clench my fists at the assault, but keep my feet firmly planted.

Jen lifts her head, choking out another chuckle. "You hit like a bitch." she sneers at him, blood oozing from her lips.

She's doped up on serum, bleeding to death and he still can't even knock her out with one hit.

I stop the corners of my mouth from lifting at her spirit and how she reminds me of myself. I'd said the same thing when Rawlins had me tied to a chair, layin' into me with his stupid ass gloves.

Her eyes find mine one last time.

Unable to mask my sadness and regret, and praying she can read me, I let my eyes scream the words that sit on the tip of my tongue; I will come for you.

Stryker hits her again, finally knocking her out cold.

His men remove her body from the pole and put her in his van. He jumps in after her. Without another glance in my direction, the men all pile back into the van and leave.

I glance at the rusted pole, slick and dripping with her blood.

She gave me a whole ass transfusion to fix me.. She healed me, she saved me. She cared for me, defended me, bought me clothes, even recovered my wedding ring... She showed me loyalty, showed me love. She gave me purpose.. And I do this to her.

But I have my reasons.

I said I'd do whatever I could to make things better for her, and I meant it. But sometimes things get worse before they get better.

While this didn't go completely as expected, it's gone better than I could've hoped. Jen believed I betrayed her, and Stryker believed I'm on his side. And now he's so focused on fixing her, on claiming his prize, he doesn't notice my pursuit.

He leads me right back to his base.
Just as I anticipated.

I spend hours on watch, scoping out the whole exterior of the old, seemingly abandoned building they disappear into on the outskirts of the city, observing all I can before I retreat.

Now I know where he is, I can hit him where it hurts, and end this once and for all.

She will be free.

But I can't go in blind.

Heading through the streets, my mind insists on replaying the hurt in Jen's eyes, the hurt that I put there, whether I had my reasons or not. And when I don't see that hurt, I see her impaling herself.

Selfishly, I hope I can regain her trust after this. But she's forgiven me more than I deserve as it is. So if all trust is gone, that's okay. Just as long as she's free. She deserves to be free. And I will make that happen for her. Even if it's the last thing I do.

With what she's been made, she could go dark. Easy. And nothing would stop her. If she really wanted to.

But she doesn't want to.

She's thinks she's a monster, but she's far from it. That's what she's been made to be, but it ain't who she is. She's been through a lot for her body to be like it is, and she's still all heart. Ain't nothing gonna take that from her.

Except maybe Stryker, if he erases her memory.

In the cover of nightfall, hidden under the hood of my jacket, I knock on the front door of a house I thought I'd never find myself at again.

I don't want to be here, don't want to ask this of him, but I'm desperate.

The chain lock rattles inside before the door opens, answered by just the person I wish I didn't need to see.

"Frank.. what are you doing here?" he frowns in surprise, concern heavy in his tone.

"..Hey, spook."

A/ N

Guess who Frank's gone to see! 😍

The next couple of chapters will have alternating POV's, which I'm excited about. I actually love writing Frank's pov.

And only 10 chapters left to go! (I should probably finish writing them. 😬)

Thanks for reading! I appreciate y'all being here. 🫶🏼

- K