The day I hated was here after we almost had sex we didn't talk about it.

It was pointless because nothing changed.

The 6 days flew by so fast that I hated it...

I took a shower.

I'm meeting her today and if I agree which I don't have much of a choice, tomorrow we would have sex in a hotel of my choice.

I sat at my make-up chair trying to suppress the pain I felt, I gave myself one look and went to put on my lingerie with a black short dress.

Todd loved it he said it made heads turn and he was happy because it showed men what he has and they can't have a bunch of bullshit if you ask me because he doesn't feel the same anymore.

Fixed my hair and I must admit I loved what I saw...

"You look, gorgeous baby"

"Thanks"

I went downstairs and waited for him to have a glass of wine to calm my nerves.

Who can she be? What does she look like? why her?

What men don't get is every time he cheats or wants to he says something is missing in you that he finds from another woman even though it's not the case it still feels that way.

I waited for him and he came out wearing a nice shirt with his black pants now we were matching I hated it because it was not to celebrate our 10 years of marriage as we had planned to but to meet another woman he wants to have sex with.

"Ready?"

"No," I said seriously...

He took my hand and walked me to our car opening the door like he was not about to rip my heart into pieces.

We got in there and he had made reservations already so our nice waiter walked us to our table and we sat down.

It looked beautiful and green all shades of green with nice plants decorating the tables it was unique and beautiful.

I ordered wine and he ordered whiskey ...

Drank my wine slowly my heart wasn't beating at this point...I crossed my leg tapping my fingers on the table I do that a lot when I'm nervous.

After a while she walked in I was not even paying attention, I was on my phone pretending to be doing something productive.

"Welcome Erika" I heard him say and I lifted my eyes.

She was a goddess her beautiful brown skin, and her sexy eyes she had the look that screamed "men can't resist me" indeed they couldn't even married.

She sat with us smiling, why was she smiling?

"Hi," I said coldly ...

And she sat down and ordered wine so we sat there in awkward silence.

"Nice to meet you Ephs," she said.

"Ephy to you, not Ephs," I said sternly...

"Sorry I know you might think low of me but I swear it's not like that"

"One night only," I said and she nodded...

We ordered our food but I didn't eat it so I asked them to put them in a package so I eat them at home.

She asked to go to the ladies and when she left he pretended his phone rang.

Earlier on after she sat down, I saw her move her leg under the table, and her hands kept brushing his thigh, don't get me started on the dress that covered half her boobs with no bra, so her perfect perky boobs with the erect nipples were on full display.

I followed them and I wondered why I did that because like I suspected I peeped and saw her sucking his dick like she was sucking some lollipop, I thought the sex was tomorrow...

I stayed and saw him go down on her this was not part of the plan...

He pulled her dress down and she wasn't wearing any underwear...

How am I supposed to believe this hasn't happened before?

I didn't know what to do so I walked off I couldn't stand hearing her moans and the way she was enjoying my husband.

I was hyperventilating...

The room got smaller and smaller so I ran outside to breathe.

After some time she came out first got in her car and he kissed her and she drove off ...

He didn't realize I was outside and when he saw me he looked scared.

"Ephy please I can explain... That kiss was... "

"Does she taste good? Or does she suck you better than me?"

"Ephy"

I slapped him...I didn't mean to I was hurt and beyond pissed ...

I didn't talk and walked to our car got in and he got in last.

We drove in silence I didn't have anything to say ....he was pissed too he grabbed the steering wheel aggressively...

"I'm sorry I swear we haven't ...."

"Shut up Todd I don't wanna talk"

When we got to our house I walked in first to shower and he followed me like a lost puppy.

"Can you stop following me around"

He didn't respond he grabbed me by my throat and threw me on our bed ...my towel fell off leaving me bare in front of him...

He removed his clothes and kissed me I know I was a fool but I craved him and a dildo can do so much ...

For the first since that day we stopped having sex he desired me ...

He spread my legs and ate me out he was mad, started sucking my nipples and pulling them with teeth then bit my clit, and instead of being in pain I flooded down there, I was pissed how the fuck is all this turning me on, he slapped my ass and it intensified the flood.

I blocked what I saw in the lady's restrooms it was easy because the pleasure was insane.

It turned me on more and when I felt him deep inside me without warning, I wondered how we survived that long without this...

My nails dug his back as he got in deeper ...my eyes rolled back and I arched my back..,

This man was fucking the life out of me...

He started slowly but the thrusts got rougher and hungrier at least he missed this as I did.

I was a shaking panting mess under him my whole body on fire ...he tried to kiss me but I pushed his face away...

"I can't kiss you when you still taste and smell like her"

That made him madder grabbing my hair and going deeper till I couldn't hold it in anymore ... I moaned louder biting his neck...

We both came undone and I got up with my legs shaking because I was mad at him even though we just fucked after waiting the whole year for it, it was worth the wait just wish we were happier.

I picked up my towel and wrapped it around my body and went downstairs, had water.

I sat on the kitchen stool but my pussy was still throbbing....what just happened?

Mandi said it's not the pain that gives you pleasure but finding pleasure from the pain...still trying to understand it myself!

This was what I wanted but why do I feel like shit? So every time he's supposed to satisfy me he has to crave another woman to make it happen?

He resents me for not keeping my child that had absolutely nothing to do with him, I never told him how I walked in on the father of my baby having sex with another man.

How did he say he only slept with me to see if he's really into men and not women? How he made fun of me for falling for him and sleeping with him.

My dad never saw me the same after this and I stopped being daddy's little girl and became a stranger.

My mom helped me with Tae, helping me pick up the pieces I told my mom I was scared, and as disappointed as she felt she stood by me.

When I gave up my daughter I closed myself off and suppressed every emotion, her kicks kept me going and I spoke to her every day when the doctor took her away. A Part of me died I didn't kiss her or hold her my mom said it was better that way.

All I begged my mom was to make sure she gets the best and she promised she would and I trusted her.

After healing I went back to school and pretended it never happened Tae was always by my side she was the best and still is.

I think of her and we never spoke of her ever but still, she was my, and I didn't fight enough for her it took years of therapy for me to forgive myself for giving her away.

So for Todd to come into my life and punish me for that makes me angry and hurts me.

Will we survive this?

My mom said marriage has many ups and downs and I get that but this is too heavy even for me will I forgive Todd?

Tomorrow we are having the threesome that I agreed to why the hell would I do that.

I was in tears and couldn't stop covering my mouth so he couldn't hear me ...

I was so far in my thoughts I didn't hear him walk downstairs.

"Baby" he tried to touch me but I moved...

"I don't want to talk about it Todd please"

I was crying ....and couldn't stop the tears ...

"Ephy we .....we only started today I thought you wouldn't mind since tomorrow it will be just us 3"

I kept quiet ...another lie...

"I'd rather have you quiet than tell me lies"

It's bad enough that I punished myself for my past but for someone who claims to love me to do it too? Was hard...

I walked back upstairs but remembered how great he felt inside me I couldn't resist him so I went to the guest room and locked it.

"Ephy?"

I kept quiet got on the bed and cried myself to sleep...

𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓴 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓕𝓸𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓞𝓷𝓮 𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓸𝓷𝓵𝔂.....