I watch the waves of the ocean softly hit the water, and I think back on one moment during the trial.

/ flashback \

"Mister Sang," one of my attorneys addresses him, standing at the podium while Sookyung is sitting at the witness stand in front of me. "Have you ever genuinely loved Miss Choi?" he asks him, and I look up at him. "I always did, Sir," he directs his eyes towards me. "I always loved her sincerely."

"Could you give us your definition of love, please?" he goes slowly, and I trust the process, his way of conveying the interrogation. "To me, love makes you feel the need to protect, care, and cherish that someone you want to share your life, memories, and unique moments with."

"So, as a twenty-seven years old man, that is what you felt for a sixteen years old child, am I right?" he stares at him, asking the right question, but Sookyung's expression does not change at all. He does not give out. "You are wrong," he replies, stabbing me with three words only. "So you are stating, under oath, that you never told Miss Choi that you loved her when she was still a sixteen years old child. Is that right?"

"It was not romantic back then—"

"Is that right?" he repeats to force him to answer with one word and not more, but Sookyung smirks. "It is wrong because I didn't know she was sixteen, this was not romant—"

"Alright. Kihyuk, can you bring up defendant's exhibit one thirty?" he turns the pages of his document, and a piece of evidence appears on the screens we all have in front of us on our tables. "Those are texts exchanged between you and Miss Choi back in October two-thousand and sixteen when she used to still live with her adoptive mother. Can you see them?"

"Yes, I can, Sir," he looks at it, facing his own words that he denied some seconds ago. "Can you read the first text that you sent her on October eighteenth, two-thousand and sixteen, please?"

He heaves one hand up to his chin and holds it, and his voice resounds through the courtroom. "I miss seeing you, baby girl. I promise I'll take a break and come pick you up to go out together this weekend," he reads what we have before our eyes. "Do you recall sending that to Miss Choi?"

"I do not, Sir," he lies, again, and I breathe out, heavily, some anger boiling my blood. "You do not," he chuckles under his breath and takes a look into his files. "Can you read the next message that you sent to Miss Choi three hours later on that same day, please?"

His eyes first pass over the sentences, staying silent for a moment, and he then speaks in the microphone. "I love you, so I'll make sure to get you away from this bitch. You won't have to deal with this alcoholic anymore, I'll take care of you, so don't be worried about anything. I'll give you everything you need and want, baby."

"You already stated at this stand that you knew Miss Choi's adoptive mother had an alcohol and drug addiction, right?" he brings this back to trick him into admitting he is the one behind those texts. "I did, Sir."

"Kihyuk, can you bring up defendant's exhibit five fifteen?" he shows some more evidence, and a new couple of texts pop up. "Mister Sang, could you read the first text that you sent to Miss Choi on October nineteenth, two-thousand and sixteen, after she told you she was scared of her adoptive mother because she took heroin and was threatening her?"

"Y/n. I want you to pack your stuff. I'll be here in a few minutes. You cannot stay with this sick woman, you're in constant danger with her, so I'm taking you to my house. Keep texting me to let me know you're alright. I love you, baby girl," he does not forget a single word, and all the past comes back to life in my head. I can remember everything. What I was feeling at that moment, what was happening around me, how in love I was with him. "Can you see your name in the participants?"

"I can, Sir," he cannot deny anything. "So you can see that you are the owner, and that the texts are outgoing, which means the texts were sent from your phone to Miss Choi's one. Am I right?"

"Anyone could have used my—"

"Am I right?" he does not permit him to fool the jury, and Sookyung's body language, which I know by heart, indirectly shows some wrath he is trying to conceal. "You are right, but anyone could have used my phone."

My attorney does not listen to his falsehood but takes out some more texts, making me feel like he has evidence to contradict every statement of Sookyung that he is giving in an attempt to disclaim the truth. "In the second text sent on November twentieth, in two-thousand and sixteen, you answer to Miss Choi after she expressed some worry about the possibility of someone reading the texts you both sent to each other while you are at work, and you tell her, I quote you, 'No one has access to my phone, and no one will ever do because it always stays in my pocket. I'm Mister Sang, the boss here, I'll fire the first one who tries to disrespect me. So don't worry, what you and daddy talk about will always stay between us'. Did I read that well, Sir?"

"You did," he does not look up at him anymore but stares at the screen. "So, in this text, you clearly do state that no one could ever use your phone, right?"

"Not to my knowledge," he answers, trying hard no matter what. "That was not my question, Mister Sang. In this text, you clearly state that no one could ever use your phone, am I right?"

"You are right," he forces himself to say it, the bitterness running through his voice, and he leans back to grab his bottle. "And unless I'm in the wrong courtroom, you are indeed Mister Sang, aren't you?" he provokes him with some humor, and he moves his bottle down after drinking. "I am."

"Good, let's continue then," he does not show any lack of confidence but keeps going to confront Sookyung. "Can we talk about your statement that claims you did not know Miss Choi was sixteen when you met her?"

"I never knew she was that young until her eighteenth birthday when she told me all the truth, Sir," he does not feel any remorse at all but makes me the bad person, the liar, and the manipulator. "Are you sure about that, Mister Sang?"

"I am very sure, Sir," he asserts. "Let me read the last texts on the screen then," he gets ready to ruin the statement he has been using since day one of this trial, and we all listen carefully. "This first one was sent to you by Miss Choi on the same day when you told her to pack her stuff. 'I'm only sixteen Sookyung. What if she calls the cops and tells them I ran away? They're gonna get me back to her for sure and I'm scared of that.' To which you answered, 'You're sixteen so that makes it even worse because you're in danger, so I'll make sure the police do their fucking job. I won't allow anyone to send you back to that house.'," he ends with, and he raises his eyes up to Sookyung. "You do acknowledge her age here, Mister Sang. Don't you?"

"I don't recall sending this," he does the same over and over again, never admitting to his actions. "But in this text, you do acknowledge her age, right?"

"I guess I do," he shrugs, finding every word to cast doubt on every single thing presented to the jury. My attorney nods and moves on to another part of his interrogation. Doing an amazing job and making me realize how lucky I am to have Jungkook by my side. Without him, I would never have had a good lawyer, good attorneys like him, I would never have been in this courtroom.

"On these different pictures displayed to the jury, we can see that you have a sleeve tattoo on your right arm, is that right, Mister Sang?" he waits for his answer, and Sookyung affirms. "This is right."

"Does this accurately portray reality?" he insists for this piece of evidence. "It does."

"Can you tell us when you got this tattoo?" he does not take the picture away from the one large screen shown to everyone. "In two-thousand and fourteen."

"Did you give a unique sample to your tattoo artist when you went there to get it?" he makes me fear the reason why he is asking those questions. I think I know what this refers to. "Yes, Sir."

"So no one else on this earth could have this same exact tattoo as you do, right?" he confirms my thought, and I become extremely uncomfortable. "Not to my knowledge, Sir."

"Alright. I need to warn the jury and public that a video containing nudity and explicit material, which could be disturbing to some viewers, is going to be shown on the screen, so we strictly advise the members of the public to leave the courtroom if they do not want to see it," he gives the warning before playing the video, but no one moves, so he uses his remote control and presses start, and without even seeing one second of it again, I break down into tears.

One of my attorneys, who is sitting right next to me, notices and rubs my back, but the only one I want to feel near me is Jungkook.

This video is so horrible that I still cannot handle the sight or sound of it.

I keep my eyes low to not see any of it, but the noise reminds me of the images I first saw with the police. From the moment that Sookyung places the phone on my nightstand to record everything but his face, to the one where he starts kissing me, touching me, and sexually using my body while I am completely unconscious on our bed.

I do not even recall any of that, not a single second, even though I am the one in the video.

I try not to pay attention to the sounds echoing through the courtroom, his heavy breathing, the wet sounds, the bed squeaking. Those sounds will forever haunt my mind. I will never be able to hear those without thinking about this, and the number of times this must have happened when I was unconscious.

The video not ending, the sounds become even louder and faster, and I hear him moan. I wipe my tears away and focus on my breathing, my quick heartbeat, and I pretend to not be hearing all the sexual noises.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, this is over. Some dead silence fills the whole courtroom, and I never look at Sookyung again.

"Can you recognize the girl in this video, Mister Sang?" my attorney asks him, his voice sounding lower. "I do," he does admit. "Can you tell us who it is?"

"Y/n," he pronounces my name. "And does the man in this video have the same exact tattoo as you do?"

"It seems like it," he causes my will to leave to become even bigger, to worsen the more he speaks and hurts me with all his lies. "Yes or no, Mister Sang."

"It seems—"

"I think you didn't hear me well, Mister Sang. Does this man in this video have the same exact tattoo, on the same exact arm as you do, Mister Sang? Yes, or no?"

"I answered—"

"Mister Sang," the judge interferes, finally. "Answer with yes or no, please."

Sookyung breathes out in his microphone and speaks. "Yes."

"This is the bed and bedroom you used to share with Miss Choi when you were together. Yes or no?" he ignores his answer. "Yes."

"This video was taken on November third in two-thousand, so you were already living with y/n at that moment, right?" he points the date out. "Right," he sighs, obviously getting bothered. "And, on this," he uses the large screen to show a website page. "You can see the date on which the video was published, can't you?"

"I do," he does not lie or try to, and I clench my jaw at the sight of this. "I am going to show a couple of pictures, so I want you to tell me if you recognize the person on them," he orders him to do, then the pictures, which he took of me with lack of clothes, sometimes when I knew it, sometimes when I did not, get exposed in front of everyone here.

"Can you recognize the person in all those images, Mister Sang?" he stops displaying more. "I can. This is y/n."

"All of this explicit material you have been shown was published on one website that contains child pornography back in two-thousand and sixteen, and you were with Miss Choi back then, right?" he makes this awful part of the trial linger as I cannot control my emotions but feel sick and full of pain. "I was, Sir."

"As you stated before during this trial, Miss Choi had no family, and no friends when you were both at the beginning of your relationship, am I right?" he brings some statements back up. "You are right..."

"So those pictures that were all taken when y/n was between sixteen and seventeen, could only have been taken by you—"

"Objection," one of Sookyung's attorneys cuts him off. "Speculation."

"Sustained," the judge does not allow him to ask this one question. "Mister Sang, you already stated in front of the jury that no one would ever visit you when you were with Miss Choi at your house, is that right?"

"I did," he grabs his bottle again to clear his throat as if it kept getting dry. "And the two witnesses, who used to work for you at your nightclub, testified that y/n was always by your side when you were working, right?"

"They did," he acknowledges this, being less of an asshole. "So, if we take all this into consideration, this is evident that no one would have been able to take any pictures or videos of Miss Choi in your house, right?"

He finishes taking another long sip and leans towards the microphone. "I wasn't twenty-four hours a day with her, so I cannot confirm that."

"Mister Sang. If you work with Miss Choi by your side every night, and that no one visits you when you're at home with her. This makes it impossible for someone to grab your phone, spend time with your girlfriend in your own house, make her get into those clothes and positions to take pictures, and use your computer, on which those pictures and videos were also found, to then upload them on that website and distribute child pornography," he does not take his bullshit anymore but speak with much more earnestness.

"Sir. I do not recall taking those—"

"Those sexually explicit pictures and videos of Miss Choi when she was still a child were found on your phone and computer by the police during the investigation. Yes or no?" he shuts him up to not let him give a fake excuse. "Yes," his voice nearly quivers. "The police also found child pornography on your computer. Yes or no?"

"Yes..." he peeks down at me, making me instantly glance away to not make eye contact with this monster. "Alright. Let me show you the date on which a few of those pictures were taken so that we can confirm the period, and the location."

I raise my eyes up to the screen, and I rub my left eye, feeling exhausted.

/ end of flashback \

The thought of still being on one of those websites only made for disgusting people will forever stick to me. I need to not think about all the ones who saw those pictures and videos, used them, saved them for themselves. This will only torture my mind even more.

"Hey," Jungkook's hand intertwines with mine, and I turn my head to snap out of it. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes," I hold his warm and bigger hand with both of mine, and I look at the road in front of us. "Are you sure? You know you can tell me."

"It's just...Those things I saw and heard during the trial...I keep thinking about it," I tell without hiding anything. "About what exactly?" he rubs his thumb over my skin, slowing my heartbeat down. "About those pictures and videos..."

He remains silent after I gave him the reason for me to be all at sea, and he breathes out. "I know this must be hard, but the website where everything was uploaded has been deleted, those guys who got access to them will also be punished, but you don't have to feel ashamed, dirty, or scared of anything. This is not your fault, and Sookyung is in jail now, so you can leave everything in the past and never look back at it."

I smile at how sweet his voice sounds, how comforting it always is. "Have you already talked about it with your therapist?" he slows down in front of a red light, and I nod. "But it's still difficult."

"It will be okay. I'm always here too if you need to talk about it and get some weight off your chest," he brings our hands up to his face and presses a kiss on the back of mine, and I look into his eyes. "I love you, Jungkook."

My words, full of sincerity, put a smile on his face, and he leans towards me to kiss my lips. "I love you too, sweetheart."

•••

3 pm.

"Mommy," the feeling of some fingers running over my face gets my eyes to slowly open. "I'm home, mommy. Are you awake?"