•••

1:20 pm.

Jungkook and I both remaining on the sofa while Jun is taking a nap, I do not dare peek at his laptop screen but keep my eyes on the TV.

"Have you and Jun already been to Disneyland?" he asks me, out of the blue, and I look at him. "We haven't."

"And do you know his favorite Disney character?" he sets his eyes on me, the topic exciting me. "I can't tell which one is his favorite because he loves Nemo, Woody, and Stitch, and he also loves Baymax so much, so I feel like he doesn't have a favorite."

"Really?" his lips curve up as if this was making him soft, and I nod. "Yes. I noticed that he has a hard time putting his plushies and toys away. It seems as if he was scared to leave one out, and it was more obvious once you pampered him with all those plushies, since then, he always has them all around."

"I noticed that too, and I find it so adorable," he laughs, quietly and peeks down at his laptop. "Would you be alright if we go there? Are you comfortable with those crowded places?"

"I am, and I know that would make Jun so happy, I'm completely okay, but I heard that it's really expensive over there," I show some uncertainty, no matter how happy I would be for my baby to discover this world. He grins and glances back at his laptop. "Money doesn't matter," he types some words.

"Are you sure?" some discomfort worries me, and he nods. "Yes, sweetheart. From now on, I want you to never care about money, alright? You're free to use as much as you want, and I don't ever want you to feel like you're doing something wrong or disrespectful."

"I'll try to," I smile and hold my hands together. "We'll do it together, don't worry. I'll remind you all the time," he combs his hair back and lays eyes on me. "Alright?" he touches my hand to intertwine our fingers, and I get closer to him to snuggle up against his warm body. "Alright."

•••

1 am.

A terrifying nightmare coming to an end, I finally wake up from it, but in a startle. I try to catch my breath and remember this is not real, this was in my head, everything is fine now. The beating of my heart making it much more difficult to breathe, I take a look at my son to slow it down. This is so painful to feel it hit my chest that hard.

I turn around to end on my back and sit up, and I peek at Jungkook, who is sleeping on the other bed.

He told me to join him if I ever had a nightmare again, but I know he seems to have some difficulty sleeping too, so I would not want to ruin his sleep because of something so small.

Knowing I will not be able to clear my head from all the images that are still scaring me, I get out of the bed but feel some weakness in my legs. I wipe the tears away from my cheeks, and I look up at Jungkook again.

I do want and need to have him close to me, I need to be in his arms and feel him hold me against him, but I am afraid he could get mad.

I take my eyes off of him and glance at the floor, the fright not leaving me alone, I check up on my baby again, but hear some sheets ruffle, so I turn my head back towards the only man in this house.

"What's wrong?" he whispers, keeping his elbow down on the sheets to have his upper body up. "Aren't you sleeping?" I ask in a low voice to not wake my baby up. "I'm not. Did you have a nightmare again?"

"Yeah..." I tell him the truth, and I see him pull the blanket down. "Come here," he invites me to get on the bed with him, and I move forward without thinking twice. I lie down right next to him, and he covers my body with the blanket. "What happened?" he holds the side of my face with his warm hand, and he strokes my cheek. "It was him again..." I do not close my eyes but enjoy the comfort he offers me, and I cuddle up against him.

"Everything is alright now, it was just a dream. You're here with me and Jun only now," he kisses my forehead and tangles his fingers in my hair without taking his hand off the side of my head. "It's okay," he reassures me, and out of tiredness, I cry and let everything out.

I wrap my arms around his body, and he keeps his lips against my skin, his thumb caressing my temple. My heartbeat slows down, loving how soothing the sound and feeling of his breathing brushing my skin are. "Everything is okay, I'm here," he whispers against my skin and wipes my tears away. "No one will hurt you or Jun. You're safe," he runs his fingers down my arm to caress it, and I stay in his comforting, warm embrace.

— One week later —

Friday, September 10th, 2021.

8 pm.

Jungkook not taking his eyes off his laptop screen while typing nonstop next to me, I hold my baby close to me and watch Toy Story that has been playing on the TV.

Jun enjoying this movie a lot, he gives some squeezes to his plushie, sucking on his pacifier as his eyes are stuck to the large TV.

Now that we are with Jungkook, I feel like this would be the best opportunity to drift him apart from the pacifier. I do not want it to damage his teeth, so I need to find a way to take this comfort source away from him and replace it with something much healthier and better.

My attention not leaving my baby boy, I run my fingers through his fluffy hair but hear the ringtone of my phone resound, so I check the text I received.

This is an answer from Cherry.

< Yes! I'll visit you tomorrow in morning, sweetie. Take care of yourself, I hope you, your baby and Jungkook are doing great too😘 ]

[ Thank you so much, we are. I can't wait to see you, I miss you a lot. Take care of yourself too💕 >

< I miss you too🥰 ]

I smile but feel distracted by the lack of typing. I put my phone down and take a brief peek at Jungkook but see that he has his eyes on Jun, my baby who is focusing on his laptop.

Jungkook smiles at how fascinated he seems by the sticker on it, and he touches it. "Do you want one like this?" he asks him, and Jun nods. Never ignoring him or pretending to not have him near, Jungkook moves forward with his device and lay it on the coffee table, and he stands up, making me wonder what he is going to get.

I watch him walk away in his white shirt and black trousers, always wearing formal clothes, even though he does not go out or work. He opens a drawer from the sideboard and gets a small piece of paper out, then he closes it and comes back towards us.

He makes eye contact with me but passes before us, and he sits down. "Look," he shows him different stickers that are as cute as the one he has on his laptop. "Which one do you want?" he holds the paper near him, smiling, seeming soft in front of my baby. Jun moves his tiny index finger up to one of them, the chick.

I feel like yellow has become his favorite color.

"This one?" Jungkook makes sure this is the one he wants among the animals, and Jun confirms with a movement of his head. "Alright," he takes it off the paper and gently grabs his hand, each of his moves and touches being delicate, he sticks the baby chicken on the back of his hand. "Here. This is yours now," he strokes the side of his face, affectionately. "And you can have all of them, so you can put them anywhere you want," he gifts him the stickers that I know he will love, and with his curious eyes, he looks at the rest of the animals.

Now that Jun's attention is over them, Jungkook raises his eyes up to me. "Do you want a sticker too?" he jokes, and I chuckle. "No, I'm fine. Thank you," I smile but gaze down at his lips. "Where did you get those though?"

"I bought them so time ago when I was still working," he leans back on the sofa to be more comfortable, and he takes his glasses off. "I was on duty on that day, and after receiving a call, we had to go to a woman's house because of suspected mistreatment. So once we got there, the mother of a six years old boy had to be interrogated, and the child was there. I could tell he was worried and scared, so I took care of him while his mother was with my colleagues, and I talked with him, but I had this habit of always bringing something that would reassure or make the children happy, so I went to that house with some stickers I bought at a store nearby, and I gave him one that I stuck on his hand," he explains everything, making me feel some sadness at the thought of dealing with that every day. "But I saw him again some days after that, and he gave me that sticker I put on my laptop," he smiles, showing some attachment to it, and I do so.

"Did you often have to take care of children while being on duty?" I glance down at Jun at the feeling of his body moving, but he only turns to the side to rest his head on my chest. "Yes, too often. I faced a lot of...horrible stuff, and I always felt the need to take care of the children and be there for them."

"And...if it's not too indiscreet, what was the reason you got fired?" I hope for him to not be uncomfortable because of this, and he lowers his eyes to Jun. "It happened because of a home visit. Once again, we went there after a child abuse report was made and that another team investigated, so we knew what we were told were not speculations only. So, to not go into detail, I completely lost my mind after seeing a baby, who was only four months old, covered in bruises...very underweight...and so..." he nibbles on his inner cheek, still seeming very affected by this image that day must have left in his mind. This must have been traumatizing.

"He was definitely being abused by his dad, and his mother couldn't help him or the other child at all because she was a victim of that abuse as well. It's that sight of the young child showing terrible signs of developmental delay, lack of social skills, like, I could tell something was wrong just by seeing the way she was unusually afraid of having any adults near her, then the baby, that's when I lost control. I couldn't bear it at all, and I rushed out of the bedroom and went straight up to the dad to hit him..." he gives the reason for him to have lost his job, and to my biggest surprise, I am on his side. "My colleagues stopped me pretty quickly, and they even helped me to not get into trouble because they understood why I did it...but yeah...what I saw on that day will never leave me."

"I'm so sorry you had to see that, and no matter what you did, you shouldn't have been fired. He deserved it," I do not disagree with him, even though violence has left a scar inside me. "That's not how the laws work, unfortunately. As an officer, I should have kept my emotions aside and only do my job, but on that day, I really couldn't," he shakes his head and probably talks about this for the first time, and the glisten in his eyes deepen the pain this caused me. The thought of witnessing those was already enough to hurt me, but seeing him be emotional about it worsens it. "It's understandable."

"I'm glad you think so," he expresses some relief. "But anyway, let's talk about something else," he smiles to hide the ache this still provokes, and I make sure to remember to avoid this subject. "Do you want something to drink?" he clears his throat and places his glasses down next to his laptop, and I kinda refuse. "No, thank you, but Jun needs some milk before going to bed."

"Alright, I'll bring this," he stands up and takes hold of my baby's bottle, and he leaves towards the kitchen, so I gaze down at Jun. "My baby," I brush his bangs away from his forehead, and he raises his head up. "Don't you want some milk?"

He nods and stares at me, and I smile. "Wait, say 'ah'," I tell him to do in order to open his mouth, and once he does it, I kindly pull the pacifier out of his mouth. "Once Jungkook comes back with your bottle, can you give him a kiss and thank him for mommy?" I whisper so that the concerned one cannot hear me, and he shows agreement, cutely. "You're a good boy, baby," I kiss his chubby cheek, and he gives me the same amount of affection with a previous smile full of happiness. I love him so much.

Hoping for him to not forget to do as planned, I peek up at Jungkook when I hear him come back, and he shakes the bottle upside down but also holds a glass of champagne. The Dom Perignon for sure.

"Here you are," he hands him his bottle full of milk and sits down, and Jun moves away from my lap to climb on Jungkook's lap, and in a shy and adorable way, he presses a kiss on his cheek, lets out a small 'thank you', and comes back in my arms. I watch Jungkook's reaction to see how this makes him feel while my baby hid his face in my chest, and a delighted look brightens his features. "You're welcome, sweetie," his broad smile never fades, and he pats the back of his head. "Is it warm enough?"

He nods to answer him, and I give him another kiss to reward him for what he did.

"He's an angel," he speaks in a low and soothing voice, and I smile. This means a lot to me. This brings me so much comfort and bliss to hear someone say those words about my baby. This is so heartwarming.

•••

10:20 pm.

Jungkook's constantly running through my hair to soothe me, we both watch the movie playing while cuddling on the sofa. I do not say anything but close my eyes, my head resting on his chest, I listen to his slow heartbeat and keep hugging him.

"Tell me if you want to go to bed," he turns his head and keeps his cheek against my forehead. "No, I'm not tired yet."

He drops a kiss on the crown of my head and slides his hand down my back. "How are you feeling these days?" he asks, and I naturally feel weird at the sound of this question I am still not used to hearing. I open my eyes and gaze down at his other hand on my forearm. "I'm feeling good and calm."

"What about sleep? Do you spend more restful nights?" he shows a lot of care, and I smile. "I do. I love sleeping now that I can be in your arms."

"Really? he rubs his thumb over my arm. "Does that mean you used to not like it?"

"Yes...I was scared. I never knew what I would wake up to," I talk about what no one knew about until now. "But since that night when you held me to sleep, I love the thought of going to bed, closing my eyes, and falling asleep. This is very comforting."

"I'm so glad to hear this," he strokes my back, but I raise my head up from his chest to look into his eyes. "I want you to be honest with me if I'm too clingy or that I bother you...I wouldn't want—"

"You don't," he does not let me finish my sentence as if this was not needed. "You're not too clingy, you don't bother me, and you never will. I love when you hug me, when you kiss me, when you ask for some physical contact or affection, this makes me feel so good, so I don't want you to worry about this."

I smile and stare into his eyes, and he brushes some strands of hair behind my ear, holds the side of my face, and he inches closer to kiss my lips.