Love. Such a complex emotion made by the hormone Oxytocin. While quite different compared to the many romance movies that were filmed, directed and shared for the general public. With hundreds upon hundreds of reviews either praising the directors and actors/actresses and their storylines to shredding it to the smallest of frames, it seemed to touch the hearts of many people. The emotion touched the heart of a specific twelve year old who goes by the name Onodera 'Oda' Ritsu.

The emerald eyed boy was a hopeless romantic at heart. Reading romance novels, a multitude of fluffy fantasies and dreams, he just wanted someone to hold him in their arms staring at him with such a loving gaze. He was in love with the concept of love.

Throughout his elementary years, that feeling would just avoid him like the plague. Though Onodera had many friends and acquaintances but he couldn't see them as anything but a platonic friend; no more no less. Onodera had just continued on with his schooling, head hung low with his mind buzzing with many thoughts and dreams.

All until his second year of middle school.

Usami Akihiko had just released his latest novel, one at the time was seriously itching to read. After another day of school had passed, he sped towards the literary paradise that was the school library. Shelves upon shelves were filled to the brim with a variety of books -some of which caught his eye- He scanned across each shelf, looking for a certain neutral colored spine.

Emerald eyes darted to one of the higher shelves he had previously ignored and of fucking course there stood the book, neutral colored spine and all! He wasn't the tallest boy in his class in any sense of the word so the probability of reaching the shelf without any assistance was slim to none. But the desire to immerse himself into the worlds of Usami Akihiko overcame the inconvenient location of the book.

His once soft gaze morphed into a sharp, determined glare, most of his weight shifted towards his toes, the small knuckles turned white with the strain which was hidden underneath his shoes and socks. A small yet frustrated grunt was ripped from his lips as he straightened his arm, his nimble fingers ever so slightly brushing up against the spine.

Before Onodera could have tipped the books towards him, his faulty center of gravity caused him to trip backwards, the sounds of his shoes reverberated across the quiet room. He unconsciously braced himself for his impending impact but instead of his back pushing back the shelf behind him, Onodera felt someone's hand stopping his fall and he jumped, slightly panicked by the sudden contact.

Slowly turning around, Onodera was graced by the sight of black hair somewhat covering the man's admittedly beautiful amber colored eyes. But an emotion he could not put a name on was front and center in the irises, he knew he could be somewhat oblivious but those eyes...Onodera knew there was something beneath the surface.

With an indifferent expression on his face, his long fingers took the book from that shelf with ease, giving him the book before he could start the volcano of apologizes.

"You wanted this book, right?" His voice was deep, mysterious even. He just couldn't speak, he was completely smitten. It was like a scene extracted from a romance movie, the protagonist meets their love interest, internal monologue ensues and that would kick off the pining and the subsequent relationships would grow.

To say Onodera was shocked would have been the biggest understatement of the year. He knew exactly what that feeling was. Beating heart, blushing cheeks, stars in his eyes.

It was love. Or more specifically, love at first sight.

His heart started to beat erratically in his chest, thankfully his ribcage was able to hold the bloody organ in its place. Blood rushed to his cheeks, the red hue making itself known. He couldn't move, not that he wanted to. It was as though he wasn't in that quiet library anymore, rather he was transported to a sea of white with cherry blossom petals getting picked up by a light breeze.

It was like a perfect spring afternoon. It was a mirror image of his dreams, but Onodera finally had that feeling he longed for. He finally found that person who metaphorically stole his beating heart and all he could do was follow that person not once asking for it back.

Onodera knew he shouldn't just fall off the deep end but he just couldn't help himself. He was in a sea of pure white, all those lone fantasies that graced his mind now had some basis. That nameless amber-eyed boy was now his first love -well according to the standards of a twelve year old-

That small interaction kicked off three years of stalking. Instead of his regular couple of hours of reading at the end of the day, it would be spent staring at his crush behind the shelf they had first met. The sunlight illuminated his soft supple skin making him look as though he was the angels in a certain novel he had read the years prior.

After finding out they shared a mutual interest in literature, Onodera took his "research" a step further. He started browsing certain shelves, using his knowledge of the library to his advantage. Onodera took note of the amount of shojo manga he read on a daily basis. While manga in general wasn't exactly his favorite side of literature, if it meant getting one step closer to his senpai then he would indulge in the topic.

His choices when it came to books were...odd to say the least. Their choices would overlap every now and then but it was nice to see a chance to grow his book selections. One day, while writing his name on a checkout card he noticed a certain name of another student from the day before.

Saga Masamune. So that's his name, I never thought he would be into such books. Why am I so happy when I found this information?

Onodera could feel guilt bubbling up inside of him. Why was he stalking him? It was wrong but he couldn't just come up to the guy and just blurt out a confession after an near silent interaction. It was only six months and found out quite a lot of information without having an actual conversation. While it fascinated him deep down, it scared him all the same. There were many what-if's his mind would make up on the daily.

What if he were to somehow screw up one day? Would he just ignore him for the foreseeable future? His already slim chances of confessing and having that happy ending would have been slashed before they could have the chance to breathe.

It wasn't right, but he just didn't have enough courage to cast the first stone.

All Onodera could do was stare at his crush from afar, silently admiring his features from the safety of the shelves. That sea of white was soon plagued with blobs of black and grey.

/GG/

Hours later, the once blue sky was now replaced with reds, oranges and splashes of pink creating a mesmerizing sunset. Embarrassment coursed through his veins as his milky colored chest was exposed to the eyes of Saga, his head hung low, cheeks supporting a lovely red hue.

"U-um Senpai..." The silence was finally broken. "How do you really feel about me?" No matter how old he would be, the poor naive boy would never be ready for the following response.

Saga laughed! He laughed in front of his face! He even covered his face in a futile attempt to hide it. Onodera's eyes turned into saucers, his fragile heart tearing at the seams that once pure white sea turned into a dirty, murky black. Tears started to collect in the corners of his eyes as he clenched the sheets in both anger and complete betrayal.

Was he nothing to him? Was Saga just toying with his heart? He was just a fling to him. There was absolutely nothing that could change Onodera's mind from that fact.

Far too many neurons were firing a multitude of signals. Emotions were boiling over like that of an active volcano, anger and sadness being the forefront before it exploded in an act of roundhouse kicking him before grabbing his bookbag and rushing out of his house while buttoning up his shirt.

Shapes, structures and colors were blurred before his vision, the tears just couldn't stop flowing no matter how many times he wiped them away. Onodera's legs burned from the physical exertion placed on them, he cursed his naivety, he cursed his stupidity and wished all those -beautiful- memories away. He loved him, he loved him but he just played with his feelings like it was all a joke to him.

What did I do wrong? Did I come on too strong? Or did he just say yes to not hurt my feelings? Why did this happen to me?

So many questions but he feared the answers were never going to make their way to him. His view of romance was completely shattered, it was like the real world was revealed to him, that white turned to black. He felt like everything he had believed previously was nothing but a lie, everything was falling apart from the seams and there was nothing he could do./GG/

It happened far too quickly. What started out as a simple movie date -with quite embarrassing things done by Onodera unknown to the back haired highschool senior- Lips were locked in their first kiss and it felt as though Ritsu was free falling, it was like he was short-circuiting when he felt the older man's tongue probing around his mouth, mapping out the caverns. He desperately tried to keep his mouth open, letting his own tongue follow the movements of the other's, pleasant heat surge throughout his body.

He knew what was happening. The moment he felt those fingers unbuttoning his jacket, they were going to be without clothes and in an intimate position.

"Ritsu." Saga's deep voice resonated in his ears, the vibrations drummed in the deepest parts of his ears. The air around him turned thick which made breathing a difficult task, Ritsu's eyes looked like they were going to jump out of their sockets upon the utterance of his name. Bits of the sunset broke into the darkness of the room illuminating the man on top of him, amber irises bored into emerald further contributing to his burning red cheeks.

The first time he said my name. A single tear cascaded down his cheek and onto the cream colored bed sheets below. It was even better than my mind could even imagine. Ritsu tried everything in his power to keep his eyes from fluttering close and risk not absorbing every detail of his senpai. His whole body burned in a pleasant heat, his brain going a hundred miles an hour. His crush was something in the shadows only to be observed with eyes at a distance but now here he was on top of him murmuring his declarations of love into his ear with that alluring sensual voice.

His dreams were finally turning into a reality and he wouldn't have it any other way.

/GG/

Hours later, the once blue sky was now replaced with reds, oranges and splashes of pink creating a mesmerizing sunset. Embarrassment coursed through his veins as his milky colored chest was exposed to the eyes of Saga, his head hung low, cheeks supporting a lovely red hue.

"U-um Senpai..." The silence was finally broken. "How do you really feel about me?" No matter how old he would be, no matter what stage in his life he would be in, the poor naive boy would never be ready for the following response.

Saga laughed! He laughed in front of his face! He even covered his face in a futile attempt to hide it. Onodera's eyes turned into saucers, his fragile heart tearing at the seams that once pure white sea turned into a dirty, murky black. Tears started to collect in the corners of his eyes as he clenched the sheets in both anger and complete betrayal.

Was he nothing to him? Was Saga just toying with his heart? He was just a fling to him. There was absolutely nothing that could change Onodera's mind from that fact.

Far too many neurons were firing a multitude of signals. Emotions were boiling over like that of an active volcano, anger and sadness being the forefront before it exploded in an act of roundhouse kicking him before grabbing his bookbag and rushing out of his house while buttoning up his shirt.

Shapes, structures and colors were blurred before his vision, the tears just couldn't stop flowing no matter how many times he wiped them away. Onodera's legs burned from the physical exertion placed on them, he cursed his naivety, he cursed his stupidity and wished all those -beautiful- memories away. He loved him, he loved him but he just played with his feelings like it was all a joke to him.

What did I do wrong? Did I come on too strong? Or did he just say yes to not hurt my feelings? Why did this happen to me?

There were so many questions but he feared the answers were never going to make their way to him. His view of romance was completely shattered, it was like the real world was revealed to him, that white turned to black. He felt like everything he had believed previously was nothing but a lie, everything was falling apart from the seams and there was nothing he could do.

/GG/

Just where the hell was he?

They were making love, everything was going great and the next day he kicked him upside the head before disappearing for at least a week. Saga was once again trying to shave away time by reading in the library,

His eyes widened, an epiphany crossed his mind.

Was he upset that I giggled? He quickly grabbed the books, not bothering with bookmarking their pages and shoved them into his book bag with haste. I wasn't laughing. Ritsu, why would I laugh at you. I love you.

Saga dated many people before their worlds collided but he felt nothing for them. Love was something he just couldn't grasp the concept. All until he met his stalker. How could an underclassman just waltz into his life and make him feel all sorts of emotions that were locked away in a vault? Or rather, there must be a reason for it.

Was his life going to turn into a shoujo manga? Would him and Ritsu be the protagonist? Wait who would be the antagonist then? Would it be society due to the circumstances of their so-called relationship. Nevertheless, Ritsu was that special person that was able to force such feelings out of him, he was his special someone who he wasn't about to slip between his fingers anytime soon.

Was he gay? Or was this bisexuality? He supposed that would be a question for his future self. Right now, he had to clear up this...misunderstanding with Onodera.

10 minutes had passed and he was in the city district, looking around for a certain emerald eyed, socially shy underclassman. A fast food joint there, a family run business adjacent to him. Nothing. Turning left to a quaint bookstore, there stood Ritsu walking out with a satisfied smile plastered across his face.

Well that was surprisingly quick.

Letting out a breath, he attempted to walk casually towards the boy while internally, he was most certainly not his normal indifferent self. "Ritsu?" He called out, his hands in his pockets. He felt his heart ache when his kohai completely ignored him, walking right past him like they had never met. But he wasn't just going to leave it there.

"Ritsu, can we please talk?"

The look in Onodera's eyes caused him to suddenly stop his persuading. Those emerald irises that he had grown to love were filled with a myriad with a multitude of emotions ranging from hurt and slight anger, he felt his heart ache seeing such sadness replacing the happiness -and soft undertones- within them.

"T-there's nothing to talk about. I-It's over." He could hear his heart shatter upon hearing those words. Saga was rational enough to realize there was no one to blame in that situation but in a way, it felt as though it was somewhat his fault. "I'm not going to play your games any longer." His voice started to break and he started to walk away.

In a last resort -which could have been interpreted as desperation- he blurted out:

"I wasn't laughing at you because I was mocking you." Finally those words were out there for his love to hear. "I was laughing at you because that was a pretty dumb question to ask. I love you. If I didn't, would I be here pouring my guts out?" His brain for whatever reason didn't register his hand grabbing his wrist and maneuvering him so they were face to face.

Silence soon filled the area, the sound of shoes hitting the pavement and cars driving across was the only thing they could hear. Ritsu looked as though received a slap to the face. Saga actually loved him? But what if it was all a ruse?

But if it was all a ruse, then why was he here blurting out his declarations of love for you? Stop overthinking things for once and try to move forward.

With tears streaming down his face, he held his hand trying so hard to formulate an apology. To say Onodera had felt horrible in the moment would have been the understatement of the year, how could he have just up and left without a single word over a misunderstanding and dumb one at that

"I-I'm sorry..." His voice was breaking, tears streaming down his face. Soft fingertips were wiping them away, his other hand entwined with his own. Ritsu took deep breaths trying to form the proper words to speak. There were so many things he wanted to say but like a child, he wanted to say them all.

Their hands were still entwined as they walked away from the bookstore, inky black cleaned with pure white, cherry blossom petals blowing in the background.

Looks like things might go back to normal. Perhaps they could move on from that simple misunderstanding.

/GG/

It had been approximately 6 months since that incident had occurred. While their problems were properly ironed out and their bond was stronger than it once was, the water underneath the bridge seemed to be smooth.

It was a beautiful spring day, the sun shone brightly atop of the sky with clouds acting as decorations. The season was always Ritsu's favorite time of year, everything was full of life and a sense of happiness would seem to wash over them no matter his past mood. Cherry blossom petals were picked up by the cool breeze flying to god knows where. The perfect setting for a graduation ceremony.

The timid boy was sitting in the back row, silently supporting his boyfriend. His lover was finally graduating from highschool and while he was happy for him -who wouldn't be- Ritsu couldn't help but feel some sort of sadness, their time spent together would now be cut significantly short. Not to mention none of his parents even bothered coming to support their son, he was essentially alone in that achievement.

There he stood, in a crisp black suit his normal bored expression on his face. He received his graduation certificate, shaking the hand of the principal before walking off the stage. Ritsu smiled softly at the man, his hands folded on his lap. While he didn't show it out right, he knew he was happy inside. Happy to take that step.

Hours had passed and many speeches were shared, families went and mingled with their highschool graduates but Saga and Ritsu were behind a cherry blossom tree behind the school, sharing featherlight kisses. Ritsu's cheeks burned with both embarrassment and the pleasant heat reigniting.

"Senpai, are you happy?" The question came as a surprise to the newly highschool graduate. He responded with pecks on both eyelids and his cheeks.

"Yeah I am."

A radiant smile stretched across his face. All there was him and Saga underneath the tree savoring their quite intimate moment together. It seems as though all the water is underneath the bridge.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

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I hope you enjoyed :)