I'm going home

Back to the place where I belong

And where your love has always been enough for me.

-Chris Daughtry, "Home"

Fort Leonard Wood – Missouri

Miles

I was almost done packing my belongings when Dale appeared next to me.

"Hey man, you almost ready to go to the airport?" He was practically bouncing up and down with glee.

I grinned. "Yeah, I'm ready," I said as I stuffed the last piece of clothing into my bag.

"I am so ready to be home I can hardly stand it," Dale said, heaving his bag over his shoulder.

"Me too..." I said, my voice not nearly as cheerful as his.

"What's wrong, mate? Aren't you ready to see Rachel again?"

"Oh God, more than ready... but what I'm not ready to do is tell her where I'm going to be going after Christmas," I moaned.

Dale nodded knowingly. "I know... I really wish you had been more prepared for that possibility. Noah and I talked about it before I came here, and we both came to understand that it would likely happen," he pointed out as we walked to the airport shuttle.

"Right... I think when I changed plans for being an engineering officer to being in bridgebuilding, the chance went through the roof, and we just weren't prepared. She's going to lose her shit, man," I groaned, running my hand down my face.

Dale put his hand on my shoulder. "At least we're going to be in the same platoon."

I nodded. "This is true. It won't be as scary having a friend there."

We walked in silence for a few minutes until we reached the shuttle, and in ten minutes, we were at the airport.

After we went through security, we stood at the crossroads, where Dale would go one way and I would go another.

"All right, Miles," Dale started. "Can I get emotional for a second here?"

I laughed. "I don't think I'm going to be able to stop you."

"I'm really thankful we met. You have no idea how much you helped me with coming to terms with being myself around the rest of the company. Even though there were a few assholes, you were, for the most part, right. It wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it would be. And you helped me get through the bad part. I don't know that I would've handled it well without a friend to support me. And I'm glad that friend was you," he said, holding his hand out for a handshake.

I smiled and pushed his hand to the side, pulling him in for a hug. "It was honestly nothing, Dale. It was the right thing to do, and you're a good friend. It wasn't hard to do." I patted him on the back and he beamed back at me.

"All right, we better go so we don't miss our flights. I'll see you January 1stwhen it's time for deployment. Let's hope the time passes slowly," he said, and I nodded.

"See you then. Have an excellent holiday season. And Miles?"

"Yeah?"

"I saw you with Rachel. She's going to be upset, but she's never going to stop loving you. No matter what," he said, and my eyes filled with tears.

"Thanks, Dale," I managed to choke out, and he smiled at me again before he turned away to catch his flight.

I took a deep breath and made my way to Gate 5c. I knew Dale was right, but disappointing Rachel would be one of the hardest things I'd ever had to do.

Tallahassee, Florida

Rachel

I paced back and forth in front of the arrival gate, waiting to see Miles' familiar face through the crowd. I checked the monitor on the wall over and over until finally, I saw the word "ARRIVED" flash next to his flight number.

I stood as close as I could without passing over the line, standing on my tiptoes as my eyes scanned the crowd.

And when I my eyes landed on his face, I immediately burst into tears. His face split into a grin and I watched as he pushed through the crowd to get to me. When he passed the security guards, he tossed his bag against the wall and ran to me, pulling me into his arms and kissing me with passion and force. We were both crying, salty tears falling onto our lips as he spun me around in the air.

"Rachel, Rachel," he murmured against my lips. "I missed you so much baby. I love you, love you, love you," he repeated, planting kisses on my cheeks and my neck.

I giggled and leaned my neck back. "I love you too, Miles. To say I'm glad you're back is the understatement of the century."

He grinned and put me back on my feet, only letting go of my hand to pick up his bag. He threw it over one shoulder and wrapped his arm around me. "Come on baby; let's go home."

"I love you, Miles," I whispered.

"Not as much as I love you," he said between kisses, looking up at me playfully.

I rolled my eyes, but I figured for today, I'd let him win.

***

"Are you sure you don't want to go out?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No... I just want to be here with you."

"All right. Do you want me to cook or just order a pizza?"

"Pizza sounds great. That way we can just sit here and wait... and I don't have to take my hands off you," he teased, pulling me toward the couch.

I giggled and pulled out my phone. "Okay. Let me order the pizza."

After pressing a few keys, the pizza was on its way. We settled on the couch, and he leaned against the arm, pulling me between his legs and wrapping his arms around me.

"This is nice," he whispered in my ear. "I've missed this so, so much."

"Me too," I said, and then I had a thought. "Miles, you never told me where you'll be going after Christmas." I felt his body stiffen under me, and I furrowed my brow. "Miles?" When he didn't respond right away, I turned around on my knees and faced him, my eyes searching his.

He closed his eyes and took both of my hands in his. "Rachel – I – "

My heart sped up until it was beating out of my chest. "Miles, what is it? You're scaring me."

He opened his eyes and exhaled deeply. "Rachel. Before I tell you this... it's only a year. And then I can get out and get a job building bridges with the reserves. And the training I'll get while over there will be irreplaceable – "

My breath caught in my throat. "Over – over there? Over where, Miles?"

He put his hands on my cheeks and pressed his forehead to mine. "Iraq," he whispered.

I squeezed my eyes shut, willing that word to disappear into the ether... for it to have never existed. I felt his forehead leave mine, but I refused to open my eyes.

"Rachel... baby, please. Say something," he pleaded. I could hear the pain in his voice.

I opened my eyes, and as I did, hot tears rolled down my cheeks. "You're going to Iraq. How – how did this happen?"

He shook his head and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm so sorry, Rachel. I tried to get a transfer, but nothing could be done. But baby, it's only a year."

I scoffed. "Only a year? ONLY?" I knew I was angry at the wrong person, that he hadn't chosen to go to Iraq, but he promised... he promised me that this wouldn't happen.

"Rachel, please. This is already hard enough for me. My heart is breaking," he croaked, his eyes full of unshed tears.

My eyes softened, and I put my hand on his cheek. "I know, Miles. I'm not mad at you, babe, I just... I can't believe this is happening."

"I know... but it's only the second week in November. We have until January 1. Let's not waste this time," he said, pulling me close to him.

I nodded against his chest. "No. I don't want to waste it. You're here now, and that's what matters."

He kissed the top of my head and rested his cheek against my hair.

"And I won't be necessarily on the front lines. I'll be with a platoon and Dale will even be there. We'll build our bridges and we won't be fighting," he assured me.

I nodded. "Okay..." I looked up at him, my eyes pleading. "We're going to make it through this, right?"

He ran his hand through my hair. "Of course we will, Rachel. We've made it through so much already. This isn't going to take us down."

I forced a smile, hoping it met my eyes. "Okay."

But a year? Being without him for 16 weeks was hard enough.

How in the hell would I ever make it an entire year?