When you try your best

But you don't succeed

----

Could it be worse?

-Coldplay, "Fix You"

Tallahassee, Florida

Rachel

Coming back home after being with Miles was one of the hardest things I'd ever done, but now that I was back and busy with school, the days passed with relative ease.

Two weeks after coming back from Fort Leonard Wood, I was sitting in my third class of the day when I felt something poke me gently in the back of the arm. I glanced back and saw a sheet of paper, and when my eyes travelled up to see the owner of the paper, I was shocked to see it was Alex.

I dipped an eyebrow and took the piece of paper from his hand, unfolded it, and began to read.

Rachel,

I know I've been avoiding you guys, and I'm sorry. I really do apologize for everything that happened that night and the way I handled it afterward. We're almost to November, and this program has been awfully lonely – everyone else in this class is pretty lame.

I already passed a note much like this one to Brittany... I am hoping that both of you will forgive me so that we can build our friendship again.

Just let me know... I understand if you say no.

Sincerely,

Alex

I sighed and glanced back. Alex's smile was small, but I couldn't help but return it. Against my better judgment, I nodded in response to the words I'd just read, and he grinned.

I hope this isn't a mistake.

***

After class, Alex, Brittany, and I hung around, the last people in the classroom.

"Hey," Brittany said, shifting from foot to foot.

"Hi," I responded, and we both looked to Alex, who smiled at us.

"You ladies want to go have a cup of coffee?" he asked, a tentative tone to his voice.

Brittany and I glanced at each other, and I let her make this decision. This would be harder for her than for me.

Surprising me, she nodded. "Sure. But you're buying," she said, pointing at Alex.

He laughed and nodded. "Fair enough."

And in yet another surprise twist, the evening was actually pleasant, and the awkward moments were kept to a bare minimum.

But in the back of my mind, I kept thinking... "What would Miles say about this?"

And the answer wasn't positive.

Panama City Beach, Florida

Luke

"Will we find out the gender today?" I asked Brooke as I pulled into a parking spot in front of her doctor's office.

She shook her head, unbuckling her seatbelt. "Not yet. The end of this month, we should be able to find out," she responded.

I jumped out and ran to her side of the car, opening the door for her before she could do it herself.

She looked up at me warily. "I can open my own door, Lucas," she said.

"Yeah, I know you can... but you're not going to," I said, taking her hand and kissing her cheek.

She laughed and bumped me with her hip as we walked into Dr. Young's office.

***

We found out that the baby was growing perfectly, there were no issues, and Brooke was perfectly healthy. To celebrate, we went to dinner at Firefly.

Midway through our meal, my phone dinged. I wanted to ignore it, as Brooke and I attempted to keep our meals free of technology, but when it dinged three more times, I pulled it out of my pocket with an apologetic look in Brooke's direction.

When I looked at my lock screen and saw four messages from Miles, I glanced up at Brooke with what I know was alarm on my face.

"It's Miles," I said.

"Is he okay? He usually doesn't text during the week, and definitely not four times in a row," she said. "What do they say?"

I scrolled up to the top and read them out loud:

Hey Luke.

Luke, I need to talk to you, brother.

Okay, you know I hate to even do a double text, but I just found something out and I have to tell someone. I'm not even supposed to be texting.

I found out where I'm going to be stationed after Christmas. Rachel's going to flip out. I'm flipping out. This is bad, Luke. This is really bad.

I looked up at Brooke, and her eyes were wide. "Well? Where is he stationed?" she asked, moving her hand in a "come on, spit it out" gesture.

I winced as I spoke the next word.

"Iraq."

Fort Leonard Wood – Missouri

Miles

I tried to steady my breathing, but nothing was working.

Earlier in the day, when Sergeant Harris, our trainer for bridgebuilding, pulled us in one-by-one to tell us where we'd be stationed, I was nervous, but not overly so. I just had this feeling it was all going to work out and I'd end up in Washington, DC or something.

But no.

When Sergeant Harris said "Iraq," I thought he was kidding. I mean, I actually almost laughed. But when I realized he was serious, there was nothing I could do except say "yes sir" and vacate his office so he could see his next victim.

But if hearing it was horrible, telling Rachel was going to be catastrophic.