I was thinking if you were lonely

Maybe we could leave here and no one would know.

-Matchbox 20, Back 2 Good

Fort Leonard Wood - Missouri

Miles

Boot camp was getting to be more and more routine every day. That's not to say it wasn't hard; I went to bed every night completely exhausted and drained. But I really felt like I was where I was meant to be – that this was the career I was born for. I was thinking about all this I lay in bed on Saturday afternoon for a rare moment of rest.

"Hey Miles, mail call," Dale said, tossing a bundle of letters onto my bed.

"Thanks, man," I said, sitting up and grabbing the bundle. There were letters from Ma and Pops and Luke, but I tossed those to the side when I saw Rachel's half-print/half-cursive lettering.

I ripped open the envelope, and when I unfolded the paper, the scent of her peach perfume drifted to my nose. I held the paper to my face and smiled when I realized she had actually sprayed it on the paper. Before I read the letter, I lifted the photo off the top of the paper and my eyes filled with tears. It was a photo of us on the beach after I proposed – I was holding her in the air, our foreheads pressed together. I lay the photo on the bedside table that Dale and I shared, and began to read the letter:

Miles,

Hi baby! I hope you're having a good morning, day, night... whenever you're reading this letter. I just wanted to send you a photo of us for your locker or wherever you want to put it.

I miss you so much I can hardly stand it, but Jessica is keeping me company at home, and Brittany and I have been hanging out a lot since we are in the same group for the counseling program. She's got her eye on this new guy that transferred from Denver, so she's wearing me out with that.

I haven't talked to Brooke in a couple days – I know she and Luke are really busy with renovating. I told Luke to write you a letter. I hope he listened.

I'll let you go now, babe. I just wanted to write you and tell you I love you. And I'm so proud of you.

See you in 8 weeks.

Love,

Rachel

I grinned and folded the letter back into the envelope and pushed it under the mattress. I picked up the other letters and lay back in bed to read them, happy to hear news from home.

Panama City Beach, Florida

Luke

Ever since Brooke told me she was pregnant, I had been treating her like she was made of glass. I know I was probably getting on her nerves, but I barely let her out of my sight, didn't let her lift anything, and waited on her hand and foot.

"Luke," she said, grinning. "I'm only a few weeks pregnant. You can relax."

"I know, but I want to make sure you're okay... and that the baby is okay," I said, putting my hand on her stomach and kissing her cheek.

"You're sweet, babe. But you know I have to get to work, right?" she said, drinking what was left of her orange juice.

"Hrmph," I grunted. "Fine. But I'll just be in the office with Dad going over some numbers for this quarter. Text me if you need anything at all."

She squeezed my bicep and kissed me. "Promise."

"All right. Have a good day, B."

"You too, babe," she said, flashing me a grin and leaving the suite.

I sighed and finished my breakfast, not looking forward to a day of crunching numbers – and not being able to tell my dad that Brooke was pregnant.

Keeping this secret was killing me, and it had only been a few days.

Tallahassee, Florida

Rachel

"Jess?" I called down the hallway. "Are you here?"

No answer from her or Parker, so I figured they were out. I sighed heavily and threw myself down on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

It was Saturday evening, and we were only a week away from starting our program. I hadn't gotten to talk to Miles much, and I was feeling a little bit down.

I sat up enough to grab the TV remote, turned on Lost and binged until I fell asleep.

***

I woke up to someone knocking on the front door, and I jumped out of bed, making my way quietly to the door to peep through the peephole.

It was Brittany.

I tried to smooth my hair, as Brittany and I weren't quite on the "Come on in, I look like total shit" level. I unlocked the door and slid the chain to the side, letting her in. "Brittany, what are you doing here? Oh – " I said, surprised to see someone else behind her.

Alex.

"Hey!" she said brightly. "We tried to call you, but you didn't answer. Wanted to see if you wanted to go shoot some pool with us tonight, since it's our second to last Saturday of freedom!"

"Sure, sounds good, come on in," I said, stepping aside and opening the door wider.

"Yas," she said. "Did you just wake up or something?" she asked, taking in my appearance.

I looked down at my oversized t-shirt and realized my pajama shorts weren't even visible. "Ah, yeah... you caught me in a nap. But I am glad to go out with you guys. Just give me a sec to change."

"I'll come with you," she said quickly.

"Okay. Alex, help yourself to anything in the fridge," I said.

He nodded and laughed, presumably at my ridiculous appearance. I stuck my tongue out at him as Brittany yanked me down the hallway.

"Damn, Britt," I said, rubbing my shoulder when we got to my room. "I'm not a slinky!"

"Sorry," she said, sitting down on my bed. "Get dressed!"

"What's the rush?" I checked my watch. "It's only 8:00."

"No rush," she said innocently.

I went into the closet and pulled out a pair of American Eagle skinny jeans and a black off the shoulder top. "How did lunch with Alex go the other day?"

She stood up and checked her makeup in the mirror. "Oh, it was good... but I'm still reeling him in... he's playing hard to get," she joked, winking.

I put my clothes on and slid my feet into the Louboutins. I figured, hey, Miles paid enough for them, I might as well wear them.

Brittany whistled. "Damn girl, those shoes are hot!"

I stuck my hip out playfully as I walked to the bathroom to sort out my hair. I didn't have any makeup on and didn't really feel like putting it on, so I just decided to go bare-faced.

"You bitch," Brittany said, shaking her head.

"What?" I asked, picking up my purse from my desk chair.

"You're so beautiful, and you don't even have to wear makeup," she said, pouting.

"Please," I said, rolling my eyes. "Let's go, hot stuff."

***

Thirty minutes later, we were walking into a hole in the wall pool hall on the opposite side of Tallahassee.

"Uh, Brittany? Where the hell did you find this place?" Alex asked, glancing around skeptically.

She laughed. "This place has the cheapest beer in town... and free pool," she added.

Alex and I exchanged a glance and shrugged. "Seems legit enough, I guess," he said, and we made our way to the bar.

Brittany and I each ordered a Blue Moon, and before I could hand the bartender a ten-dollar bill, Alex pushed between us gently and handed the bartender his credit card. "All the drinks these ladies and myself order can be put on my tab," he said, and Brittany and I gaped at him.

"For real?" I asked. "You didn't have to – "

"Hey now – I may not be from the South, but I still know how to be a gentleman," he teased.

Brittany grinned. "Well all right then. Thanks, Langley." She clapped him on the back and hooked her arms through ours. "Shall we shoot some pool?"

We nodded and followed her to an empty pool table in the corner of the bar.

"Rack 'em up," she said, and Alex obliged.

"I'll take 1-5, Rachel, take 6-10, and Brittany, 11-15. Who wants to break?" he asked, offering me the stick.

I snorted. "No. Y'all are about to get a real laugh... I've played pool exactly once in my life."

"I'll do it," Brittany said, leaning over the table way further than necessary, her shirt falling open.

I rolled my eyes in amusement, remembering her comment about reeling him in. I guess that's one way to do it.

I took a swig of my beer as I watched Brittany's pitiful attempt at a break. She shrugged and picked up her beer, handing the stick to Alex.

"There ya go, Langley," she said, bumping him with her hip.

He smiled and took a shot, sinking two balls before his turn was over. "Rachel, it's your turn."

I took the stick from him, downed my beer, and stared at the table. When I finally made a shot, I literally hit nothing. "Damn, I suck," I said.

They both laughed and Brittany took the stick from me. "Will you go get us another drink?"

"Sure," I said, making my way to the bar. I got us each another Blue Moon plus a shot apiece.

When I brought it back to the table, Alex had just sunk another ball.

"Shots all around!" I announced, and they cheered in response. We all took the shot and slammed the glasses down onto the pool table.

That was the beginning of the end.

***

Two hours and several shots later, we were on our fourth game of pool and I had gotten no better. I had only sunk one ball, and it was the cue ball.

"I'm going to the bathroom," Brittany announced. "Be right back."

"Okay! I said, then threw my head back and laughed as I took my stance. "I might possibly be the worst pool player on the face of the planet."

Alex laughed. "Nah, you're not that bad," he said.

I started to hit the cue ball and the stick slipped out of my hand, missing every single ball. I stood up straight and held myself up on the pool cue. "What were you saying?"

"Try again," he said, and I rolled my eyes.

I put the stick back on the table and leaned over, putting the stick between my first two fingers, noticing that there seemed to be double the balls on the table now.

Suddenly, I felt Alex step behind me, slipping an arm on top of mine and resting the other on the pool table next to me. He leaned close and moved my fingers so they were in a different position.

"Uh – " I started.

"Here's how you need to hold the cue, Rach. Your grip has been all wrong," he breathed in my ear.

"Alex, you're a little too – "

"WHAT THE FUCK?" Brittany shouted.

I stood up straight and pushed Alex back. "Britt, Britt, it's not what it looks like!" I exclaimed.

She scoffed. "Really? This is like something out of a goddamn Carrie Underwood song!" she spat. She grabbed her purse. "I'm out of here. Find your own way home."

I glared at Alex and he looked at me sheepishly. "I'm sor – " he started.

I just shook my head. "Come on, we have to find her. She can't drive like this. We all need an Uber."

We ran out of the bar and saw Brittany getting in her car.

"Wait, Brittany, you can't drive right now," Alex called.

"Oh, don't worry; after that little show, my buzz is dead," she seethed, and I believed her.

I crossed my arms and shook my head. "I wish you wouldn't go like this, Britt," I pleaded, stepping closer to her and lowering my voice. "You know there is nothing between me and Alex. I'm engaged, remember?" I held my left hand up.

She slapped my hand down. "It doesn't matter if you like him or not... it's clear he likes you," she hissed. "So that means I don't have a fucking chance."

She stepped into her car, slammed the door, and spun out of the parking lot.

I turned to Alex again and shook my head. "Why did you do that?"

He shook his head and looked at his feet. "I don't know, damnit... too much to drink, I guess," he muttered, glancing up at me.

"I can't even with this right now..." I pulled out my phone and opened the Uber app. "You better get one of your own, because you're not sharing with me," I growled.

He nodded and tapped a few times on his phone. "I'm not leaving until your car gets here, though," he said, and I rolled my eyes.

"Whatever." I glared at him. "You know Brittany likes you, right? Tell me you knew that before just now."

He shrugged. "I guess."

"Then why would you do that? You should've showed her how to use the pool cue!" I exclaimed.

He shook his head, pushing his hair back out of his face. "I don't like her like that, Rachel."

I opened my mouth to answer, but my Uber pulled up just then. I stepped toward it and opened the door, but before I got in I looked at him over the top of the car.

"You have to make this right with her, Alex. We have a long two years in class together. I don't care what you have to do or what you have to say. Make this shit right."

And with that, I got in the Uber and slammed the door, my head literally spinning.