New computer woop woop.

So yeah, Noelle-Britney-HazelGrace-Kylie-Caitlyn's parents are always on a business trip for their condom company or whatever. So Noelle-Britney-HazelGrace-Kylie-Caitlyn has lived her whole life alone and was raised by wolves or whatnot.
BUT when it's time for her new celebrity boyfriend, Harry-Ian-Alfie-LightYagami-Bieber they're right at home and ready to meet the darling. The murdering, kiddnapping darling.
Show me an example please:
"Sweetie! We're home from our buisness trip to Tokyo, a small town in Japan with lots of condom talk. I've saved some up for you. *wink wink*"
"MUMMY! I'm mad at yew u never luk after me!" >:(
"But honey, I'm busy. To make it up to you me and your father will see if we like Harry-Ian-Alfie-LightYagami-Bieber, and if we do we'll take you all to California where you'll meet the boss's daughter, Katy Perry!"
"Omg i love u mom."
"I know you do." *Creepy Smile*
So Harry-Ian-Alfie-LightYagami-Bieber comes over, and little Noelle-Britney-HazelGrace-Kylie-Caitlyn is nervous but he assures her it'll be fine and LAH DI DAH.
It's time for mummy's questions.
"How have you been?"
"Good, I just screwed a bear up the bum." Harry-Ian-Alfie-LightYagami-Bieber replies.
"That's lovely. He's a very nice boy. You're lucky." mummy winks and elbows Noelle-Britney-HazelGrace-Kyle-Caitlyn so hard her ribs crack.
Now it's daddy's turn.
"So what's your job?"
"I screw bears, do YouTube, kill people and sing songs about butt secks." Harry-Ian-Alfie-LightYagami-Bieber replies, sticking a finger up his nose and wiping it in the ham.
Dad does his nod of approval.
"And what do you plan to do with my daughter?"
"Screw her then piss off then come back crying like a little bitch."
"I'm impressed. Welcome to the family. But not California cause they got californication there."

..yeah, then they go on more business trips till the writer needs some drama or a wedding.
Why does it always happen? You can do better. Lots of perfectly good fanfics are ruined by this ugly cliché.