Okama Kenpo:

-South Block-

"UN!" Mr. 2 charged at Sanji and swung his arm at him or a knife-hand chop. SWISH! But Sanji used his impressive speed and dodged out of the way. "DEUX!" Mr. 2 quickly recovered and swung his leg around at Sanji. SWISH! But the cook once again avoided it. Mr. 2 spun around and lashed out his leg again, "UN!" SWISH! Sanji side-stepped and lashed out his own leg. SWISH! This time Mr. 2 dodged only to come back with another spinning kick, "DEUX!" SWISH! But again Sanji dodged the attack. "HAAH!" Fed up of just dodging Sanji and Mr. 2 both lashed out their legs at each other for more powerful kick, THWHAM!

Both of the kicks landed. Sanji and Mr. 2 were both left standing on one leg with their opponent's foot in their face. KRASH! The two went flying backwards. Sanji slammed into a wall and dropped to the ground while Mr. 2 was smashed THROUGH a wall and ended up on his back. The dust settled and revealed that both fighters were still okay.

"Bastard," Sanji growled as he quickly sat up.

"Hah... that was quite a kick..." Mr. 2 gasped. "You're even stronger than One Eye... that kick was stronger than most of my Okama Kenpo moves..."

"I spent a week wandering through the desert with a thousand kilograms on each of my ankles," Sanji informed him. "Maybe without that training our kicks would've been equal but because of it my kicks are all much faster and much stronger."

"Your skills may be commendable... BUT THEY'RE NOTHING COMPARED TO MY OKAMA KENPO!" Mr. 2 shouted. "OUT OF MY WAY!"

"I already told you," Sanji replied as he stood across the street from him, "if you wanna get by you'll have to defeat me first."

"I hope you realize all your efforts will be in vain!" Mr. 2 told him. "I've practiced these dance moves all my life! I have perfected the graceful art of Okama Kenpo and its unbeatable even by the likes of you! Your techniques may be stronger and faster but they're no match for my grace and form!"

WHING! Mr. 2 launched himself up into the air and flew at Sanji. SWISH! SWISH! Mr. 2 swung at him but Sanji dodged the first attack as well as the follow up. SHOOM! Mr. 2 lashed out for a straight punch but Sanji bent backwards and stared up at Mr. 2's clenched fist as it flew over him. But suddenly Mr. 2's fist unclenched and he lashed downwards at Sanji for a chop. SWISH! Sanji quickly ducked down and spun out of the way to avoid the follow up attack.

Mr. 2 spun away from Sanji and raised one of his hairy legs up over his head leaving him standing on the tips of his toes on his other leg. "OKAMA KENPO!" Mr. 2 jumped up and clapped his feet together then landed on his toes and began weaving back and forth in strange stance made it appear to Sanji as if there were two drunk swans imposed over the okama. "DRUNKEN SWAN SOIREE!" Mr. 2 launched himself at Sanji and lashed his leg out at him. SWISH! Sanji jumped clear over the Okama and landed behind him. But Mr. 2 followed up with another spinning kick that Sanji also dodged, SWISH!

"This dance isn't getting me anywhere," Sanji growled. "It's time to settle this once and for all." Sanji lifted one of his legs until he was holding it straight up in the air and over his head. "COLLIER!" Sanji lashed out his leg and aimed for Mr. 2's long neck, SWISH! The agent avoided the kick but Sanji kept going and lashed his leg down at the Okama's shoulder, "ÉPAULE!" SWISH! But again Mr. 2 managed to weave out of the way. "CÔTELETTE!" Sanji swung for Mr. 2's ribs. SWISH! But again Mr. 2 dodged the kick. "SELLE!" Sanji followed up with a kick aimed for the lower back.

"UN!" Tired of dodging, Mr. 2 lashed out one of his own legs and intercepted Sanji's kick. THWAK! The power of Sanji kick caught Mr. 2 off guard and spun the Okama off balance but he recovered and continued spinning so he could lash out for a follow up kick, "DEUX!"

"POITRINE!" At the same time Sanji lashed out his leg for a stabbing kick aimed at Mr. 2's chest. THWAK! Their legs collided but Sanji got the better of the exchange and his more powerful kick knocked Mr. 2 off balance and left him opened to Sanji's follow up attack. "GIGOT!" THWAK! Sanji finally connected and kicked Mr. 2 in the leg sending the agent stumbling away from him.

This was the combo that had Sanji had used to beat Kuroobi back at Arlong Park. But unlike the Ray Fishman, Mr. 2 had managed to dodge most of the kicks. Now there was only one left. Sanji lashed out and channeled all of his power into the final and most power kick of the combo, "MOUTON SHOOT!"

At the same time, Mr. 2 recovered enough to swing his leg around at Sanji for a powerful kick of his own. "SWAN ARABESQUE!"

THWHAM! Their legs collided in mid air and for a fraction of a second both fighters stayed on one leg and stared at each other, surprised at having one of their strongest attacks countered. Then the impact settled in and both men were sent flying. KRASH! Sanji smashed through the front of a building. BOOOM! Mr. 2 slammed straight through the front wall and then crashing through the room behind it an ended up on his back again.

"My Mouton Shoot... blocked by the clown..." Sanji gasped as he sat up and panted.

"Uggghhhhh..." Mr. 2 groaned as he sat up and massaged his hairy leg where Sanji had kicked him. "This is impossible... My Swan Arabasque... stopped by some stupid insignificant cook... YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!" Mr. 2 got up and stomped back out of the building he'd been knocked through and found that Sanji was already standing on the other side of the street.

"It's time to get serious!" Mr. 2 snapped, "From now on I mean business! Do you hear me?"

"Let's see it then," Sanji challenged him.

"HAH!" Mr. 2 laughed, "You don't know the true extend of my power yet... do you? My most impressive feature is my ability to remember faces. Using that I can construct and display an incredible montage! When you see this you will laugh helplessly until you collapse!" Mr. 2 turned his back to Sanji and raised his arms over his head and began his transformation. "To begin... the World's most ridiculous hair!" SWISH! "Then the World's most ridiculous eyes!" SWISH! "The most ridiculous nose!" SWISH! "And then the World's most ridiculous mouth!" SWISH! "GAAA HAHAHAHAHAHA! Now take a good long look! Witness the grand unveiling of... THE CLONE CLONE MONTAGE! GAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mr. 2 turned around and revealed his ridiculous face to Sanji.

Sanji's eyes widened slightly at what Mr. 2 had revealed. HIS FACE WAS THE SAME! The only alteration to the man's already ridiculous face was the addition of Usopp's long nose. Apparently, the Okama's own hair, eyes, and mouth were the most ridiculous that he had ever seen. With Usopp's long nose barely beating the Okama's own.

"..." Sanji kept silent while the Okama remained in his ballet pose and slowly grew more and more concerned when his 'funny' face wasn't having any effect.

A moment later, tears were streaming down Mr. 2's face as he stared at himself in the mirror.

"About ninety percent of that was your own face," Sanji commented. "I'LL HELP YOU!" THWAK! Sanji lashed out his leg and kicked Mr. 2 in the face and sent him flying across the street. "QUIT PLAYING DRESS-UP YOU UGLY FREAK!"

"DON'T YOU HAVE A HEART?" Mr. 2 demanded. "I'M A BRILLIANT ARTIST!"

"I don't have time to mess around with your childish little tricks anymore," Sanji replied.

"Tricks, huh?" Mr. 2 questioned, "NOT SO FAST! They aren't just tricks! Just wait until you see! Within my art there lies the power of the greatest friendships and truest loves!"

"Right... I see what you're going to do," Sanji calmly realized as Mr. 2 prattled on about his skills, "It isn't going to work. Hopefully you'll turn into that idiot Moss Ball."

SWISH! "NOW LET'S SEE YOU HURT ME!" Usopp taunted. THWAK! Without a second's hesitation Sanji lashed his leg out and kicked Usopp in the face and sent Mr. 2 sprawling across the street.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU STRAW HATS?" Mr. 2 shrieked as he sat up and glared at Sanji. "YOU... ONE EYE... HOW YOU COULD YOU ATTACK YOUR FRIENDS? CLEARLY YOU PIRATES DON'T VALUE FRIENDSHIP MUCH, DO YOU?"

"You're a real idiot," Sanji retorted. "No matter what you transform your face to look like... you're still only you. I'm not the kind to be fooled by images and facades like that. IT'S THE HEART THAT COUNTS!"

"Aaaahh!" Mr. 2 gasped in shock. "Is that so? That's so... wow!" The crazy Okama was so moved by Sanji's speech that he started crying right there in the middle of the street and in the middle of the battle. "I'm so embarrassed to have been caught up in appearances. I understand! Even if I was to become..." Mr. 2 turned his back to Sanji and touched his face. SWISH! Mr. 2 became Nami. "...her, for instance, it wouldn't make any difference to you at all... because images don't matter. You... One Eye... you both realized it while I, who has had these powers for years couldn't figure it out." Without looking back at Sanji who was currently love struck by Nami's beauty and seemed to be ignoring her sudden lack of fashion sense Mr. 2 touched his face and returned to normal. SWISH! Mr. 2 looked back over his shoulder at Sanji who was standing in the same position with a stoic expression.

SWISH! Mr. 2 became Nami again and the cook's eyes became hearts as he gazed at his love. "MIIIISSS NAAAAAMIIIII!"

SWISH! Mr. 2 turned back to himself and Sanji turned back into himself.

SWISH! Mr. 2 became Nami and Sanji became a love-struck idiot.

"Well he's easy to read," Mr. 2 thought to himself. Even though he looked like Nami at the moment, the voice in his head was still his own. SWISH! Mr. 2 reverted to himself and Sanji returned to normal and glared at him, "... really easy to read."

SWISH! Mr. 2 became Nami again and once again Sanji went gaga. "You are such a fool," Nami taunted as a sinister smirk spread across her face.

-North Block-

At the Royal Palace, Chaka and the gathered soldiers of the Royal Army were all staring in shock. Not only was Princess Vivi alive and back in Alabasta but wanted them to do something that was simply insane.

"It's Vivi!" one of the soldiers exclaimed, "Princess Vivi has come back!"

With Y/N at her side, Vivi had finally made it to the Royal Palace. "But Princess Vivi that's insane!" Chaka protested after hearing the Princess' outrageous plan. "We can't do something like that! How could you even think it..." Chaka's eyes narrowed as he glared at Y/N, "did this man put you up to it? Is he with Baroque Works?"

"I'm just her bodyguard at the moment," Y/N defended himself. "I brought her here on my ship. I know we're not getting a reward for it but I was kind of expecting a little gratitude for delivering your precious Princess home safely... not all of this hostility."

"But it's insane!" Chaka insisted. "She can't be in her right mind to suggest something like this!"

"What are you afraid would happen if we did?" Vivi asked him, "That the Kingdom would simply die? You're wrong. It wouldn't. This palace is not Alabasta." Vivi paused and briefly though of all the people she'd encounter since returning home. Toto, the Bar Bar Sand Pirates, the people of Edo and their fake rebel soldier protectors, Scorpion and his sons, as well as the Rebel Army and the Royal Army that were currently doing battle in that very city. "It is the people who are out there hurting each other. They are the ones that made Alabasta a country in the first place. If there is any chance of stopping this war then we must take it!"

"Who left you in charge anyway?" Y/N wondered, "How could you let everything get to this point? What are you fighting for?"

"To defend Alabasta," the Acting Captain of the Royal Guard stated, "An outsider like you wouldn't understand such matters?"

"I wouldn't?" Y/N inquired. "Well... from my outsider perspective. Monarchies rise and fall like clockwork." He looked over at Vivi, "No offense." Then turned back to Chaka, "But the one constant in every Kingdom is its people. Did you bother reading Vivi's letter? The only reason this war is happening is because of Crocodile's manipulations. You shouldn't have let this battle start in the first place! Those rebels are the voice of the people and while they've been misled you've decided that instead of resolving the matter peacefully that it would be more appropriate to kill them off and silence that voice."

"Then what do we do?" Chaka asked in desperation.

"We only need to draw everyone's eyes over here for a few seconds," Vivi explained. "If you can do that then I will take it from there. I can do this! For now... do as I say... DESTROY THIS PALACE!"

"You can't be serious Princess Vivi!" a royal soldier objected. "This palace has stood in the same spot for four thousand years!"

"That just means that the people have been in this Kingdom even longer," Y/N pointed out. "What's more important the lives of the people that make up this country or an old building?"

"The King isn't even here!" another soldier reminded them. "He'd never approve of this!"

But the King's words finally came back to Chaka.

"Sire, we must take action against the rebels before it's too late!" Chaka pointed out.

"I SAID NO!" King Cobra snapped as he sat on his throne. "We will not attack them! This is not some little quarrel, if we strike first, they will strike back."

"Sire, we are barely clinging to power now as it is," Chaka pointed out.

"That does not matter," the King replied. "I don't care about my rule at the moment. Ever since the Dance Powder incident, it's been clear that someone's trying to tear apart our country. Are you suggesting that we attack our citizens before we determine who's behind all this? Because that would be the true destruction of our kingdom! A countryisits people!"

Then they had received Vivi's letter about Crocodile's manipulations. "It doesn't matter if the Rebel Army destroys this palace completely," the King had said. "It is only a building. I've told you before, a country is its people. Even if our Royal Army does fall in the end, if we could just defeat Crocodile this country can still be reborn as long as its people are safe and whole! If we battle the Rebel Army instead, then that will all change, in that situation Crocodile's the victor, understand?"

"Princess Vivi..." Chaka gasped before he knelt down and bowed to the Princess. "I will do as you say. Men, we must destroy the palace!"

-x-

Sanji's Weakness:

-x-

"Grrr..." Sanji growled as he charged at Mr. 2.

SWISH! Mr. 2 became Nami and Sanji's eyes became hearts as he stopped in his tracks.

"Oh, how cute!" Sanji exclaimed.

THWAK! Nami kicked Sanji in the face and knocked him on his back then planted her foot on the prone cook's chest. "Hehehehe!" the orange-haired girl laughed. "You're just what they mean when they say 'he's nothing but talk'! I bet you don't have enough strength left to get up."

"Don't think for a second that I'm just gonna lie down and give up," Sanji growled. "You may look like Nami on the outside but you're still the same idiot on the inside."

"YOU BASTARD!" Sanji snarled as he pushed himself up to his feet. "I'LL SHOW YOU!"

"AAAAAH!" Nami screamed.

Sanji went to lash out his leg but when he saw the look of fear on Nami's face he stopped and his eyes became hearts again. "MIIIISSSS NAAAAAMIIII!"

"HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!" Nami laughed hysterically at Sanji's helplessness.

"I can't do it," Sanji complained to himself. "She's too cute."

"Oh no," Nami sighed, "this desert air is so stifling. It just makes me wanna rip my clothes off!" Nami's hands went to her swan-adorned blouse and began to pull it opened.

"I'LL HELP!" Sanji offered with a big perverted grin.

"OKAMA CHOP!" SWAK! Nami lashed out and chopped Sanji in his bulging heart-shaped eye.

"AAAAAH! MY EYE!" Sanji groaned as he dropped to his knees and held his eye.

SKISH! Nami turned back into Mr. 2 and the Okama leapt up into the air while Sanji was still reeling and holding his eyes. "KICK POINTE!" WHOMP! Mr. 2 came down and drove both of his feet into Sanji's face and smashed him through the wall behind him. KRASH!

"GAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHA!" Mr. 2 laughed as he did a pirouette. "Nothing but talk are ya?"

BOOM! Sanji pushed himself onto his hands and lashed his legs around and smashed the wall around him and then swung himself back up to his feet. "I'll show you talk!" Sanji snapped. "NOBODY MESSES WITH ME!"

Sanji shot towards Mr. 2 but the Okama grabbed the blue mascara that was under his eyes and peeled it right off his face then threw it at Sanji, "MASCARA BOOMERANG!" SWISH! Sanji dodged the flying blue make up and charged straight at Mr. 2 then raised his leg up overhead and prepared to bring it down on his opponent. "AAAH!" Mr. 2 gasped before he quickly turned back into Nami. SWISH! "Please! Don't kick me!"

"GAH! OH NO!" Sanji exclaimed. Even if he knew it was just a man posing as Nami his chivalrous nature made it impossible for him to hit her. SLISH! SLOSH! The blue mascara came back and slashed into Sanji from behind while his guard was down and then continued onward and flew back onto Mr. 2's face.

SWISH! Mr. 2 became Nami. "Well, duty calls and I've got a Princess to kill," the orange haired girl announced. "I really hate to rush things but I'm gonna have to finish you off now." Sanji slowly pushed himself up to his feet. "You're all talk! At least One Eye had some credibility and backed up what he said to me! You're can't even fight back!"

"DON'T YOU DARE COMPARE HIM TO ME!" Sanji snapped.

"Oooh? Did I touch a nerve?" Nami teased him. "What's his name? Y/N! He's smarter than you! Better than you! What's there to compare? It's no contest!"

"Miss. Nami! Don't say that!" Sanji exclaimed. He knew it was Mr. 2 but at the moment it looked and sounded like Nami was saying those painful things.

"Why would I want you?" Nami continued. "When I could have him?"

Sanji flinched at the emotional blow, "Nami... my love..."

SWISH! Suddenly Mr. 2 was back and was already spinning around for a kick, "SWAN ARABASQUE!" THWHAM! This time he connected and Sanji was smashed clear through a building. KRASH! "GAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is almost too easy now!"

"That... bastard..." Sanji cursed as he laid on his back on the other side of the building he'd been knocked through. "How dare he play with my emotions! He thinks he'll get away with it... I WON'T LET HIM MAKE A MOCKERY OF MY LOVE!" Sanji staggered back up to his feet then kicked off and disappeared in a blur. "SAUTÉ!" ZZZZZOOOOM!

"GAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mr. 2 laughed. He was completely caught off guard when Sanji sped right up to hi.

"RECEPTION!" THWAK! Sanji lashed out his leg and hooked it around Mr. 2 before he had a change to transform again and sent him crashing into a wall. WHAM! "I'm not gonna go down that easy, you son of a bitch!"

"Hmph," Mr. 2 grunted as he got back up. "So you're one of those fools that refuse to give up even when they're clearly beaten. You're no match for me anymore. I know your weakness!"

SWISH! Nami was back. "You're pathetic," she taunted Sanji. "Why would I ever love you? You're nothing compared to Y/N."

Each insult was like a dagger to Sanji's heart. Backed into a corner physically and emotionally the cook acted out in desperation. "Sauté!" Zzooom! He charge Nami at an incredible speed and lashed his leg out. SWISH! Sanji's subconscious vow to never hit a woman kept him from following through with his kick. But he didn't need to hit her. The cook was moving at such an incredible speed that when he swung his leg it split the air and sent a concentrated gust straight into Nami's chest. WOOOSH!

"AAAH!" Nami yelped as she was blown backwards and knocked onto her back.

Sanji stared down at her in shock as she turned back into Mr. 2.

"Hah, serves you right," Sanji taunted.

-North Block-

"Wait a minute!" a soldier outside the palace protested. "Are you saying we're supposed to blow up the Royal Palace?"

"I know it sounds crazy," another soldier admitted, "but that's the order that just came down from command."

The soldier turned and ran off to deliver the order, "WE'VE BEEN ORDERED TO BLOW UP THE PALACE!"

"This doesn't make sense," some of the other soldiers grumbled, "That palace is four thousand years old!"

-x-

"Nothing I can say can express my sorrow over this," Chaka lamented as he, Vivi, and Y/N stood at a balcony and watched the Rebel and Royal Armies fighting in the main plaza.

"It's alright, I know," Vivi reassured him. "You really had no choice when it comes right down to it. It was your duty to intercept the Rebel Army. In spite of what happened to Igaram you've done well by managing to keep the rebellion in check for the last two years. But I wasn't wrong..." Vivi glanced over at Y/N. "I've met some true friends who are going to save Alabasta." Vivi smiled as she thought of the other Straw hats who were all risking their lives to defend her Kingdom.

"Hi..." Y/N greeted the Acting Captain with an awkward wave.

"If you're saving this Kingdom what are you doing here?" Chaka asked.

"Keeping my eye out for Crocodile or any Baroque Works Agents," Y/N answered. "He knows Vivi is still alive and that she's the one person who can stop the Rebel Army. It isn't likely that he's going to sit back and watch his plans fail so I'm here to make sure my friend stays alive."

"Princess Vivi," Chaka addressed the Princess, "In the two years we haven't seen each other you've grown into a beautiful young woman. Once this war is behind us all, I'd like very much to hold a banquet to honor your pirate friends."

Vivi thought for a second and remembered a conversation she'd had about food. "Okay, then give me food," Luffy told her before they reached Rain Base.Pow!Luffy punched a fist into his open hand. "After I beat up Crocodile, give me food, I'll eat till I explode."

"A banquet for pirates?" Y/N questioned skeptically, "Seems a bit unusual."

Vivi smiled at him, "Then think of it as a friend thanking her other friends for helping her."

"I can do that," Y/N agreed.

KREK! A large pair of double doors opened and two soldiers came running out.

"Lord Chaka!" one soldier called out.

"Report," Chaka ordered.

"Is it really true that they're gonna blow up the Royal Palace?" the soldier asked. "The soldiers are getting explosives ready."

"Surely this must be a mistake!" the other soldier spoke up.

"There's no mistake, gentlemen," Vivi assured them. "That order was given by me."

"AH! Princess Vivi!" the soldiers gasped.

"Use every ounce of explosives you can lay your hands on," Vivi ordered. "The only way to stop this senseless fighting and to save the lives of the people of Alabasta is to blow up the Royal Palace."

-South-East Gate-

"HANG IN THERE USOPP!" Chopper shouted to Usopp, who was now wrapped in a full-body cast. "T'IS ONLY A FLESH WOUND! NOTHING SERIOUS! It's just a shattered femur! Not a problem at all! It's true that you busted your nose and your huburi and both your clavicles..." SLIK! Chopper stuck a giant syringe into Usopp's chest and injected a pink serum into his Nakama. "You only lost a little more blood than if fatal for a person your size! And your blood pressure is slightly better than a zombie's! BUT OTHERWISE YOU'RE IN REALLY GREAT SHAPE!"

"Right now I feel fantastic..." Usopp sighed with a weary smile on his face. "I see a beautiful field of flowers..."

"WAH!" Chopper shrieked in alarm. "YOU DON'T SEE HEAVEN DO YOU? CAN YOU SEE HEAVEN?"

"Ahaha..." Usopp laughed weakly, "No matter how great a pirate you may be... in the end no one can escape death's cold embrace..."

"NO! DON'T DIE USOPP!" Chopper cried. "KEEP FIGHTING! DON'T GIVE UP!"

"Au revoir, Chopper!" Usopp called out. "I'll trust you to handle the Y/N-Nami Pool in my place. Become a good doctor."

"NOOOO! USOPP NOOOOO!" Chopper shouted. "YOU CAN'T DIE!"

"Usopp!" a familiar voice called out from overhead.

"They're here," Usopp said, "The angels are here to take me away."

"WHAT?" Chopper shrieked as he looked up overhead but instead of spotting angels Usopp had mentioned he saw Mana floating down towards them with Ayako on her back.

Shooo... Tmp! Mana and Ayako floated down out of the sky and landed next to Chopper. "Angels?" Mana repeated as she closed her umbrella and glanced down at Usopp, "Well aren't you a flatterer."

"What happened to you guys?" Chopper asked as he took in their disheveled appearance.

"We took over for Y/N in fighting my former partner," Mana answered. "He blew us both up with his super blood bombs. But I think we'll be okay."

"Mana kicked his butt," Ayako informed the reindeer as she got off of the blonde's back. "I helped a little but she was the one who beat him." Ayako knelt down beside Usopp, "Usopp... what happened? Are you okay?"

"Ms... Goldenweek... is that you?" Usopp asked as he weakly held out his hand.

"It's me," Ayako confirmed, "But I'm done with Baroque Works so you can all me Ayako now."

"Aya...ko..." Usopp gasped, "You should've seen us... we were fighting that mole-woman... and the brute batter and his freaky dog-cannon... They kept popping out of holes and hitting bombs at us... we got blown up a bunch... but we didn't give up. We kept fighting. I came up with one of my usual the brilliant plans and blew them up with their own bombs. But those freaks survived it! All hope seemed lost! But I'm Captain Usopp! I never quit! I kept fighting knowing that I had to set an example for Chopper! I got smashed with a four-ton bat but I pulled through! AND I BEAT 'EM! Chopper helped too... BUT YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN ME! BOOM! FATTY SMACKED HIS OWN PARTNER WITH HIS BAT! WHAM! I KNOCKED HIM AND HIS DOG OUT WITH ONE SHOT FROM A SUPER HAMMER SLINGSHOT! THEY WERE NO MATCH FOR CAPTAIN USOPP!"

Chopper and Mana watched with increasing annoyance as Usopp got more and more worked up as his story progressed. By the end he was shouting at the top of his lungs and was using frantic hand motions that were only slightly hampered by his bandaged arms.

"Wow!" Ayako cheered, "That's incredible Captain Usopp!"

"I think he's gonna pull through," Mana noted to Chopper who was now glaring at his Nakama.

"USOPP! YOU JERK!" Chopper yelled. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA DIE!" Chopper pulled a roll that was coated in frosting out of his backpack. "I stole the last sticky bun from you so I could eat it myself! I was gonna give it to you! YOU JERK!"

WHUMP! Usopp lunged off of the ground and tackled Chopper and wrenched the sticky bun from the reindeer's hooves. "Ahahahaha! MY BUN!" Usopp cackled.

"Kyahahahaha!" Mana laughed, "Good to see that you two are okay!"

-South Block-

Mr. 2 pushed himself up to his feet, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" he demanded.

"Dunno," Sanji admitted. "But it looks like I just found a way to hit you without actually having to make contact."

SWISH! Sanji darted towards Mr. 2 and swung his leg in front of him. But he only created a gust of wind that blew the Okama back a couple of steps.

"GAAA HAHAHAHA" Mr. 2 cackled. "I KNEW IT WAS JUST A FLUKE!"

"Damn it, I wasn't moving fast enough," Sanji realized.

"THERE GOES YOUR LAST CHANCE!" Mr. 2 shouted. "NO I'LL FINISH YOU OFF FOR GOOD!" SWISH! He became a she and Nami was once again in front of Sanji. WHING! Nami began spinning around on one leg and closed in on Sanji. "HOLD STILL LOVER BOY! I'LL MAKE THIS QUICK!" Sanji was starting to get dizzy as he watched Nami spin around over a hundred times times. SWISH! Somewhere in between three hundred and four hundred rotations Nami touched her face with her left hand and turned back into Mr. 2. "OKAMA KENPO MEMOIR OF A SUMMER DAY!"

Sanji stared at the spinning Okaam and grinned, "I see your weakness," he announced. "There's a flaw in your attack. JOUE BASTE!" THWAK! Sanji lashed out his leg and connected with the face of the spinning Okama and once again sent him crashing into a wall. WHAM!

"Sure enough, I was right," Sanji bragged.

-x-

2:

-x-

"YOU SEE A WEAKNESS?" Mr. 2 demanded as he got back up and glared at Sanji. "WHAT WEAKNESS? MY OKAMA KENPO HAS NO WEAKNESS!"

"Oh yeah?" Sanji countered, "How about the fact that you can't use your precious Okama Kenpo while you're assuming Nami's form."

"GAH!" Mr. 2 gaped in shock.

"It's true I can't bring myself to directly attack you while you look like Nami," Sanji admitted. "And I don't have the time to figure out how to do that air kick again. But it's pretty clear that you have to return to your normal self before you can attack me. And it happens whenever I see you touch your cheek with your left hand."

"Gaa hahahahaha!" Mr. 2 let out a forced laughed. "Eh? What was that? I can't hear you!"

"Hey, I'm right aren't I?" Sanji realized. The Okama pretending not to hear him was all the proof he needed.

"WELL SO WHAT IF YOU ARE?" Mr. 2 snapped. "You're right! It's only with this magnificent God-like physique that I patiently developed by putting in day after day of brutal lessons that I am able to perform my Okama Kenpo. BUT SO WHAT? You're still pretty black and blue!" Mr. 2 pulled the swans off of his shoulders and attached them to the toes of his ballet slippers. "Now take a look at Prima Okama Kenpo! I'll say this much about it then you're dead!" Mr. 2 spread his legs apart and posed so the curved necks of the two swan heads on his feet were clearly displayed. "The one on your left is the Pen and the one your right is the Cob!"

"Who cares?" Sanji retorted. Did the gender of the swans on his shoes really matter?

"GAAAA HAHAHAHA!" Mr. 2 laughed. "Whether you see through it or not doesn't matter. Now... prepare to die! Behold the power of my Okama Kenpo... BOMBARDIER!" Mr. 2 launched himself at Sanji and lashed out his Pen leg with a flurry of fast kicks. But they were just for show, Sanji's eyes widened when he saw the real kick coming right for him. WHOOM! The cook dove out of the way and the beak of the swan on Mr. 2's leg was driven straight into the stone wall Sanji had been standing in front of.

"WHAT? HE PUNCHED A HOLE IN THE WALL!" Sanji exclaimed in his mind as he stared at Mr. 2's embedded foot.

"GAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAA!" Mr. 2 laughed. "You dodged it. Smart thinking! At the end of their bent necks are steel beaks." Mr. 2 pulled his swan out of the wall and Sanji stared in surprise at the beak-shaped hole that had been left behind.

"He didn't even crack the stone around the hole!" Sanji thought to himself.

"True power when compressed and focused into a single point of contact will not destroy anything needlessly!" Mr. 2 bragged. "It might be best if you were to think of one of my kicks like the shot of a high powered rifle! Of course in this case the bullets are of a higher caliber! I'M GOING TO PERFORATE YOU!" With his strange threat declared Mr. 2 lashed his powerful swan-adorned leg out at Sanji. SWISH! "UN!" The cook managed to dodge but Mr. 2 quickly followed up with another kick. "DEUX!"

COLLIER!" THWAK! Sanji intercepted Mr. 2's second kick with one of his own.

"YOU CAN'T WIN!" Mr. 2 flicked the tip of his toes and drove the beak of his Pen swan into Sanji's arm. WHOOM!

Sanji went flying down the street and crashed down to the ground. THUD! "Shit," Sanji cursed. "His reach is longer than mine."

"GAAAAA HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mr. 2 laughed. "LOOKS LIKE THE FIGHT IS OVER! I'M FLYING LIKE A SWAN! OKAMA KENPO MEMIORS OF A WINTER SKY!" SHOOM! Mr. 2 leapt up into the air and did a series of flips in midair to build momentum and power.

"The longer his reach is the longer it takes for him to recover," Sanji thought to himself. "If I can avoid his kick I'll have that much more time to attack!"

"SAY GOODBYE!" Mr. 2 taunted as he dove and lashed his leg out at Sanji.

SKISH! Sanji jumped over Mr. 2 causing the Okama to go flying under him. From this position Mr. 2 was wide opened to an attack.

SWISH! Mr. 2 acted quickly and turned into Nami. "HEHEHEHE!" she laughed. "And just what do you think you're going to do now, lover boy?"

"Hey! Something's stuck to your left cheek!" Sanji pointed out.

"Huh? Really?" Nami questioned. She reached up and touched her face with her left hand. SWISH! Mr. 2's eyes widened as he realized he'd been tricked into transforming back into himself.

"BAS CÔTE!" KA-THWAK! Sanji drove his leg down into Mr. 2's face. The Okama crashed into the ground and tumbled away.

"Grrrr..." Mr. 2 growled as he pushed himself back up. He was bleeding from a gash that Sanji's foot at left on his forehead.

"LONGÉ!" Sanji appeared behind Mr. 2 and swung his foot into his back. THWAK! As Mr. 2 staggered back Sanji lashed his leg out for a straight sidekick and to the collar."TENDRON!" THWHAM!

"Grrr..." Mr. 2 growled as he withstood the impact and righted himself.

"FLANCHET!" Sanji lashed his foot out at Mr. 2's stomach.

"UN!" Mr. 2 countered with a nearly identical kick aimed at the stomach. THWAK! Sanji's kick fell short and wasn't able to reach its intended target but Mr. 2's longer reach allowed him to drive the beak of his swan shoe into Sanji's stomach. WHOOM! "DEUX!" WOOSH! Mr. 2 followed up with another kick aimed at Sanji's face but the cook managed to avoid it.

"QUASI!" Sanji flipped into a handstand and swung his legs around at Mr. 2. "QUEUE!"

"WHY YOU!" Mr. 2 countered as he flipped onto his hands and countered with spinning kicks of his own. SHWHAP! WHAP!

"CUISEAU!" WHAM! Sanji kept spinning on his hands and drove his leg into Mr. 2's.

"WHOA!" Mr. 2 gasped as Sanji's upside down leg connected with his and knocked him off balance in his handstand.

"JARRET!" THWAK! Sanji connected with Mr. 2's shin and sent the Okama crashing down to the ground and skidding away. THUD! Sanji came out of the exchange unharmed and flipped onto his knees.

"Ughhh..." Sanji groaned as he slowly got back up, he'd taken a lot of damage early on in the fight but was managing to fight through it.

"Graaahh..." Mr. 2 gasped as he staggered back up. His legs were shaking. Sanji had gotten the better of him in multiple exchanges but he was still managing to hang in there.

Both men stood across the street from each other. They both knew that they didn't have much left. It was time to end the fight with one last attack.

SKISH! The two fighters leapt up into the air and flew at each other.

"VEAU SHOOT!" Sanji flew at Mr. 2 and swept his leg forward looking to land a powerful kick to the chest.

"BOMBARDIER ARABESQUE!" Mr. 2 flew at Sanji and lashed his leg out in front of him.

THA-WHAK! Both kicks connected.

TMP! TMP! The two men landed on their feet and faced away from each other. The adrenaline rush the two fighters were in the middle of due to the hard battle kept them both from immediately feeling the pain of their opponent's kick. A wind blew by as they stood in place and hoped to withstand what their opponent had done to them.

"UUAAHHH!" Sanji groaned. Blood flew out of his mouth. His legs shook and gave out causing him to drop to his knees.

But it was once again Mr. 2 who came out worse from the exchange. "GAAAAAAAHHH!" Mr. 2 shrieked as the pain and focused impact of Sanji's powerful kick set in on his stomach and blasted him back into the second story of the building behind him. WHAM! THUD! The Okama dropped to the ground and the necks of his two swans went limp.

It was only when his rival had dropped to the ground that Sanji let himself fall. THUD!

-x-

When the dust from the battle finally settled, Sanji slowly got back up to his feet and casually lit up a cigarette.

"I... gib up..." Mr. 2 groaned from where he was lying on the ground.

Sanji stared down at the man in surprise, "You've gotta be kidding! You're still alive?"

"Uuugggghhh..." Mr. 2 gasped.

"What's the matter?" Sanji questioned. "All you have to do is turn into Nami again and I won't be able to finish you off."

"Nonsense..." Mr. 2 replied, "I can't move in the shape I'm in... There's no sense in trying to... avoid the outcome of this... I congratulate you... Now kill me."

"..." Sanji stared silently down at his defeated opponent.

"You may as well," Mr. 2 continued. "Baroque Works will do it anyway. Don't just stand there. Get it over with. Come on... finish me."

Instead of doing as Mr. 2 requested Sanji offered his hand to his opponent. "It was a good fight," Sanji told him. "And beyond that... we don't need any more words, do we?"

Mr. 2 blinked in surprise then took Sanji's hand and shook it.

"This is without question the deep respect that arises between rivals," Mr. 2 thought to himself. At times actions speak louder than words. The passion, effort, and determination both men had put into the fight spoke volumes. They had both learned a great deal about each other from the hard fight. "But I won't cry..." Despite this, tears were now streaming down the Okama's face further smearing his makeup.

THWAK! While Mr. 2 was busy crying to himself Sanji drove his foot down into Mr. 2's head.

"Oh, I'm taking back our sharpshooter's goggles," Sanji informed his opponent as he walked away with Usopp's goggles now in his possession.

"Uuuggghhhh..." Mr. 2 groaned, Sanji had gotten in the final blow but hadn't finished him off as was expected. "Looks like he finished me after all..."

"Hmph," Sanji grunted as he walked away and casually adjusted his tie. "Looks like I cracked a couple of my bones again."

The battle on the South Block had concluded.

Winner: Sanji

The prize? A dubious friendship.

-Royal Palace-

"EVERYTHING IS READY AS YOU ORDERED, PRINCESS!" one of the royal soldiers reported. They'd placed piles of dynamite all around the palace. It was enough to blow the entire thing up.

"EVERYTHING IS SET HERE TOO!" another soldier called out. The soldiers were all standing a number of fuses that led to the dynamite and held lit torches.

"This palace has been a part of Alabasta's history for four thousand years," Vivi commented to Chaka and Y/N as they stood in the courtyard in front of the palace. Vivi briefly thought about the place where she'd grown up. But she'd always have those memories. Right now there were more important things to take care of."It's been a great source of pride to me. But if we destroy the Royal Palace the people will have to stop fighting with each other and pay attention. I'll finally be able to tell everyone the truth about this horrible conspiracy in my own words."

The soldiers all nervously held their unlit fuses and their lit torches and waited for the Princess' final order.

"Alright! LIGHT YOUR FUSES!" Vivi ordered.

The soldiers nervously began to comply. SHHWWOOOO! A gust of sand blew passed and extinguished all of the torches before they had a chance to lit the fuses.

"He's here," Y/N growled, he stepped protectively in front of Vivi.

WOOOOOOSSSHHH! The sand picked up and the soldiers were blown up into the sky over the palace.

"What... is this?" Chaka asked in alarm.

"Crocodile," Y/N stated as he scanned the grounds for the source of the sudden sand storm.

WHUMP! The soldiers slammed down to the ground and were knocked out.

Vivi made to run to the closest downed soldier but Y/N grabbed her arm and held her back. His eye was fixed on the top of the palace.

"We can't have this," an unwelcome cold gravelly voice spoke out. SWWOOO The sand swirled together and Crocodile was left standing on the top of the palace looking down at Y/N, Vivi, and Chaka. "That was rather treacherous on your part Ms. Wednesday. After all my dear, this is about to be my new home."

"NO! I'LL NEVER LET YOU!" Vivi shouted.

"Hey, who's that he's got with him?" Y/N inquired. "I've only got one eye here, limited depth perception."

Vivi and Chaka stared up at the top of the palace in shock. Standing on the roof along with Crocodile was Ms. All Sunday but what shocked them was the unconscious form of King Nefertari Cobra that was tucked under the Warlord's arm.

"FATHER!" Vivi screamed.

"Ooh... so he's taken the King hostage," Y/N realized.

"This is lovely... to live in a palace like this," Crocodile remarked, "Kuahahahaha! It's a nice place to look down on the filth and rabble below."

"Where... where is Luffy?" Vivi demanded.

"Who? Oh, you mean Straw Hat?" Crocodile asked. "That miserable young rookie... my dear, he's dead."

"Now that's just a lie," Y/N spoke up, "You don't have what it takes to kill Luffy."

"One Eye," Crocodile snarled.

"You can say you killed anyone you want," Y/N said, "but until you offer proof as evidence you can't honestly expect anyone to believe you. Unlike you, I have proof that Luffy's still alive." Y/N fished into his pocket and pulled out Luffy's burned Vivre Card. "I trust you know what this is? It's Luffy's. And since its still intact instead of completely burned that means he's still alive."

"That's obviously a fake!" Crocodile objected. "I stabbed my hook through his worthless little body and left his bloody corpse out in the middle of desert as food for the birds."

"A First Mate's duty is to take command for the Captain when he's not present," Y/N stated. "Since Luffy's not here right now. I'll have to kick your ass in his place. He can take over and finish the job when he finally gets here. Let's hope he gets here while there's still something left."

"You cocky brat," Crocodile growled. "I'll make you pay for what you pulled back at Rain Dinners. I'll destroy you and send you on to meet your worthless Captain."

"Bring it," Y/N challenged him as his signature sly grin spread across his face.

-x-

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!!!