Battle on the Molehill:

-x-

Near the ruins outside the South-East Gate of the Capital City of Alubarna, Usopp was kneeling beside Chopper attempting to wake the reindeer after he'd been blown up by one of Mr. 4's baseball bombs.

"Chopper!" Usopp exclaimed. "Hey Chopper! Wake up! Open your eyes!"

Chopper, in Heavy Point, slowly opened his eyes and let out a groan, "Ugghh... Usopp... you're alright. That's great."

"Don't be ridiculous," Usopp scolded him, "You're the one we need to worry about."

"No, it isn't serious," Chopper reassured him as he sat up as stared out at the hole-filled desert in front of him.

"What happened?" Usopp asked with concern.

"Mr. 4 got me with one of his bombs while you were talking with Sanji," Chopper answered. The human-reindeer's eyes narrowed as he stared out at the sea of hole-filled sand. "Be careful. They're still out there waiting for us."

"WHAAT?" Usopp shrieked as he ducked behind Chopper. "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?" THOOM! KRASH! Off in a distance something burrowed under a ruin and toppled it over. "AAAAAAHH! WHAT WAS THAT?"

"Quiet," Chopper warned him, "They're underground. Mr. 4 uses his bat to hit exploding time bombs that look like baseballs. Something's pitching the balls to him but I'm not sure what. At first I thought it was Ms. Merry Christmas but she's just responsible for digging all the holes."

ARF! Usopp and Chopper flinched at the sudden bark. They looked in front of them and saw the strangest... dog... that either of them had ever seen. It had the head and legs of a dog but the dog's long body was that of a high-tech cannon. The dog was simply known as Lassoo. And was Mr. 4's gun/dog. A small dribble of snot that was coming out of the dog's nose signified that it had a cold.

"WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?" Usopp demanded.

A-CHOO! The dog let out a sneeze and a baseball came flying out of its mouth.

"DODGE IT!" Chopper shouted in alarm. FWUMP! He and Usopp dove to the ground and the baseball flew over them.

SWISH! Mr. 4 popped out of a hole behind the two pirates and smacked his big baseball bat into the ball when it got in range. KRACK! The ball went flying back the way it came and the two pirates frantically dove out of the way just as the baseball time bomb exploded. KA-BOOOM!

"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?" Usopp shrieked.

"That dog's the mysterious pitcher," Chopper realized. "He launches the bombs at Mr. 4 so he can hit them with his bat. Mr. 4 can time exactly when they're going to explode and where to hit them. And the bombs all weight a ton. Sanji tried kicking one back at him before but it was too heavy. Mr. 4's strength must be incredible if he can hit the bombs as accurately as he can."

"That's right!" Ms. Merry Christmas' voice called out from one of the nearby holes. "Mr. 4's a Number Four Batter! And Lassoo is a gun that ate the Dog Dog Fruit: Model Dachshund."

"A GUN CAN'T EAT A DEVIL FRUIT!" Usopp argued. "A GUN CAN'T EAT ANYTHING!"

"SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW!" Ms. Merry Christmas snapped from within another hole. "It's a new technique developed here in the Grand Line! Devil Fruits can be infused with previously inanimate objects! I tell you this because YOU'RE GONNA DIE!"

"WAAAAAAHHH!" Chopper screamed in terror. "I DON'T WANNA DIE!"

"AND DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME!" Ms. Merry Christmas barked. "I made all these wonderful holes because I ate the Mole Mole Fruit! I can move through this sand as easily as a swimmer through water!"

"The Mole Mole Fruit?" Usopp questioned.

SKUSH! Ms. Merry Christmas popped out of one of the holes in front of them.

"AAAAAAHH!" Usopp and Chopper screamed and hugged each other, "MOOOOLLLEEEE!"

"I HAVEN'T EVEN TRANSFORMED YET!" the still-human Ms. Merry Christmas snapped at the two pirates. She held out her arms and they sprouted brown fur while her fingers grew in size and became claws the size of bananas. The same thing happened to her feet and toes. The top half of her face became covered in brown fur and her nose grew downwards and became a snout topped with a black nose that hung down passed her mouth. Ms. Merry Christmas remained standing upright and kept her sunglasses, clothes, and frizzy brown hair. The mole-woman waddled forward and was now in the hybrid form that her Zoan-Type Devil Fruit Power gave her. "I see my form has you shocked speechless! Good! Now you're gonna die! WELCOME TO A PLACE WE CALL 'MOLEHILL BLOCK FOUR'! THERE'S NO ESCAPE!"

"WAAAAAHHH!" Usopp and Chopper suddenly shrieked, "PENGUIN!"

"I TOLD YOU I'M A MOLE!" the annoyed mole-woman yelled at them. SKISH! Ms. Merry Christmas dove forward and dug down into the sand and disappeared out of sight again. This left only Lassoo visible to the two terrified pirates.

"NO WAY! NO WAY! NO WAY!" Usopp whimpered, "I CAN'T FIGHT MONSTERS LIKE THESE! NO WAY!"

"You said we had to 'do whatever we can'!" Chopper reminded him.

"Well I can't fight freaks like these guys!" Usopp protested. "Make one of the others do it!"

"They're all fighting the stronger, higher ranked agents!" Chopper pointed out.

"Yeah but they're all freakish monsters too!" Usopp insisted. "I'M JUST A HUMAN!"

"HEY! I'M HUMAN TOO!" Chopper shouted. He was in his Heavy Point, human form.

"No... you're a furry monster!" Usopp argued.

"Oh yeah, have you seen that nose of yours?" Chopper countered as he got in Usopp's face. The sniper's long nose curled upward from their close proximity.

"At least my nose isn't blue!" Usopp snapped.

A-CHOO! The two finally stopped arguing when Lassoo sneezed and sent another baseball time bomb flying at them.

"WAAAHH!"Usopp and Chopper yelped and ran in different directions to avoid the bomb.

SWISH! Mr. 4 popped up and smacked the baseball with his bat, KRACK! The bomb was sent flying after Usopp who was sprinting through the field of mole holes as fast as his legs could carry him.

"USOPP! LOOK OUT!" Chopper yelled.

The ball caught up to Usopp and didn't even hit him, it just exploded. KA-BOOOM! "GAAAH!" Usopp let out a yelp as he was engulfed in the explosion of fire, smoke, and sand.

"UUUSOOOOPP NOOOOO!" Chopper screamed as he stared at the cloud of smoke in horror. When the smoke and sand settled, Usopp was nowhere to be seen. There wasn't even a charred body left. "AAAAAAHHH! THERE'S NOTHING LEFT! UUUUSSOOOOPP!"

"AHAHAHAHAHA!" came a familiar laugh. Usopp jumped out of the hole the explosion had centered around and landed on the sand completely unharmed. "That was a close one! But you missed! YOU BAROQUE WORK JERKS HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU'RE MESSING WITH! I'M CAPTAIN USOPP!"

"YOU'RE ALIVE?" Ms. Merry Christmas demanded as she and Mr. 4 popped their heads out of two of the holes and stared at the sniper in surprise.

"OF COURSE I'M ALIVE!" Usopp boasted while striking a heroic pose. "As if your lame bomb could hurt me! It was closing in fast! But I acted with my usual impressive speed and dove into the nearest hole to avoid the explosion! Ahahahahahaha! In my home village people called me Usopp the Speed Demon because no one could ever catch me! You losers don't have a chance!"

"WOOOOOOOW!" Chopper cheered. "AMAZING USOPP!"

"LIAR!" Ms. Merry Christmas snapped. "YOU JUST TRIPPED AND FELL IN THE HOLE AT THE LAST SECOND!"

Usopp face-faulted and mumbled, "How'd she know?"

Chopper ran over to Usopp and stood next to him. "Usopp... are you okay?"

"Yeah," Usopp replied. "But you're right. We can't run away. The others are counting on us. We've gotta stay here and fight these monsters. Because the others are all fighting people even stronger than these two. We can't let them down. We can't let Vivi down."

"RIGHT!" Chopper agreed, "LET'S GET 'EM!"

"Now... what would Luffy do?" Usopp wondered. Both he and Chopper paused for a moment and thought of what their rubber Captain would do in this situation.

Imaginary-Luffy charged through the field of holes with his arms stretching out behind him as he went, "GUUUUUUUM... GUUUUUUUM... BAAAAZOOOOOKAAAAA!" THOOOOM!

"Uhhh... I don't suppose you can stretch?" Usopp inquired.

"WHAT KIND OF MONSTER DO YOU THINK I AM?" Chopper demanded.

"Right, we can't copy Luffy," Usopp realized. "Zoro's brave. What would he do?"

Imaginary-Zoro drew his three swords and slashed them as he charged at the opponents, "TIGER HUNT!" SLA-SLA-SLISH!

"WE DON'T HAVE ANY SWORDS!" Chopper exclaimed.

"And we can't kick or run like Sanji," Usopp reasoned. "Nami's normal. What would she do?"

"What? I'm just a girl!" Imaginary-Nami protested. "You can't expect me to fight freaks like them!" The imaginary thief turned tail and ran. "YOU GUYS DO IT!"

"I can't see how that would be helpful," Usopp commented.

"What would Big Brother Y/N do?" Chopper suggested.

Imaginary-Y/N appeared in front of the two with a sly grin on his face. "Hah-ha, gotcha. You fell for my trap."

"Right!" Usopp realized, "We can't compare to the others in terms of freakish strength! But we can still trick 'em like Y/N would!"

"RIGHT!" Chopper agreed. "Big Brother would outsmart 'em then beat 'em!"

"Duck!" imaginary-Y/N called out before he dove to the side.

Usopp and Chopper blinked in surprise and suddenly saw the baseball time bomb that was flying towards them. "WAAAHH!" the pirate duo shrieked and followed imaginary-Y/N's example and dove to the side. A split-second later the bomb exploded in the spot they'd been standing in. KA-BOOOOOM!

"Usopp! We've gotta keep moving!" Chopper exclaimed. "We can't stop for a second!"

"Right," Usopp agreed, "If we stop moving we're sitting ducks."

"What is a Number Four Batter anyway?" Chopper wondered.

"In baseball it's common strategy for a team to put their best batter as number four," imaginary-Y/N explained. "The first four people in the batting line-up are usually the best batters on the team. The way it works is in case the first, second, and/or third batters manage to get on base. The fourth batter has the best chance of bringing those other guys home to score."

"Ooooooh!" Usopp and Chopper chorused.

"Wait... how do you know so much about baseball?" Usopp inquired.

"I dunno, convenience?" imaginary-Y/N suggested, "I'm not really here. I'm just a figment of your imaginations. How do you know so much about baseball?"

"Uhh..." Usopp and Chopper stared at each other in confusion. Imaginary-Y/N was just as confusing as real-Y/N. Before they could respond a loud series of sneezes rang out.

A-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO! Lassoo fired a volley of three baseball time bombs from his mouth. Usopp quickly ran to the side while Chopper ran alongside the baseball bombs towards Mr. 4 as he popped out of one of the holes.

"If I can get to him before they reach him I can take him out," Chopper thought to himself.

WHAP! Ms. Merry Christmas popped out of one of the holes and grabbed Chopper by the leg. "JUST HOLD ON!" mole-woman ordered as she held Chopper's leg with one of her brown-furred long-clawed hands. "THE GAME ISN'T GOING TO BE ANY FUN IF WE DON'T HAVE A BATTER!"

The three baseball bombs reached Mr. 4 and he sent all three of them flying with just one big swing of his bat, KRACK!

"WAAAAAAHHH!" Chopper screamed he was rooted in place with Ms. Merry Christmas holding his leg and three ticking time bombs flying towards him.

"CHOOPPEEER!" Usopp called out in alarm.

"Duck," imaginary-Y/N advised.

SKISH! Chopper shrunk down to his tiny Brain Point form and the bombs flew over his head and exploded. KA-BOOM-BOOM-BOOOM!

"Phew, at least I can still do that," Chopper sighed in relief.

"WAAH! SO YOU CAN TRANSFORM!" Ms. Merry Christmas realized as she stared at the much smaller reindeer-human hybrid. "Here I was thinking you were just a normal person!"

"MOLE!" Chopper snapped as he swung at Ms. Merry Christmas. SWISH! The mole-woman dodged and sunk back down into her hole. But Chopper was now free from her grasp and charged at Mr. 4. Chopper shifted into his big Heavy Point form and swung at the batter while there were no bombs around him. "BASTARD!" SWISH! The large man dropped back down into the hole and Chopper's attack missed.

"Damn," Chopper cursed to himself. "If they keep running away through these mole tunnels even if I use a Rumble Ball I won't have any time to do any real damage." Chopper let out a low growl and glanced around him. It was only then that he realized that he was alone on the surface.

"HUH? WE'RE MISSING ONE OF 'EM!" Ms. Merry Christmas exclaimed as she and Mr. 4 popped out of separate holes away from Chopper and looked around for Usopp. "Where'd the guy with the long nose run off to? Where is he? Where?"

"Fooouuurr..." Mr. 4 called out as he peered off in a distance.

"Yeah, I don't see Usopp around anywhere," Chopper realized.

"WHAT'S THE MATTER?" Usopp's familiar voice called out from underground. "YOU GUYS LOSE SOMETHING?" Mr. 4 and Ms. Merry Christmas stopped and stared around them in surprise. "I've gotta say mole-woman! I'm impressed that you could dig all these underground tunnels in such a short time! Good work! Really! Then again... there can be some pretty literal pit-falls if you fight like this! You should be careful!"

"WHERE ARE YOU?" Ms. Merry Christmas demanded. "WHERE DID YOU GO?"

"So kind of you to dig all of these tunnels!" Usopp's voice drifted out from a nearby hole. "But I hope you realize that you're not the only one who can use them!" SKISH! Usopp leapt up out of a hole behind Mr. 4 with a giant hammer that was nearly as big as he was raised over his head. "UUUSOOOPP POOOUUUNNND!" WHOMP! Usopp smashed his huge hammer down onto Mr. 4's head. The batter was caught off guard and fell backwards leaving him half in the hole, half lying on his back. At the same time, Usopp landed on his feet and let out a groan as he stood tall with his huge hammer held out at his side.

"WHAT?" Ms. Merry Christmas gasped in surprise as she stared at the big red '5t' that was written on the head of the hammer. "HE HIT HIM WITH A FIVE-TON HAMMER! HOW DOES A STRING BEAN LIKE HIM HAVE THE STRENGTH TO DO THAT?"

Usopp walked passed Mr. 4 and towards Ms. Merry Christmas all while twirling the Five-Ton Hammer around as if it weighed nothing.

"Wow... that's a big hammer," Chopper remarked as he started at the huge hammer in surprise.

"Who is this long-nosed freak?" Ms. Merry Christmas hissed.

"I am a traveler of the world's oceans!" Usopp proclaimed as he stopped swinging his hammer and addressed the mole-woman. "Crusher of notorious monsters, beasts, and foes! The sinker of countless ships! The flattener of numberless towns! Trembling with fear, people everywhere call me THE MASTER OF DESTRUCTION! I suggest that you take the time to remember my name carefully!" Usopp slung the hammer across his shoulders and struck a heroic pose, "IIII AAAM CAAAPTAAAIIIN UUUSOOOOOPP!"

"WOW! WOW! WOW!" Chopper cheered in sheered amazement. "THAT'S INCREDIBLE!"

"Yes, yes, it's nothing really," Usopp assured his cheering fan, "I'll sign autographs later!"

"AMAZING!" Chopper exclaimed. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE USELESS UNTIL NOW!"

"HEY!" Usopp snapped.

"Mr. 4 ..." Ms. Merry Christmas whispered as she stared in shock at her unmoving partner.

"He isn't moving," Usopp noted as he adjusted his goggles and glanced back at the batter out of the corner of his eye. "Could I have really hit him that hard? No. It doesn't matter. This is my chance to beat them both. I have to take it!"

"YOUR TURN PENGUIN!" Usopp shouted at Ms. Merry Christmas. The mole-woman stared in alarm as Usopp raised his huge hammer over his shoulder and charged at her. "NOW YOU'LL FEEL THE WRATH OF MY FIVE-TON HAMMER!"

"WAAAAAHHH!" Ms. Merry Christmas screamed in shock.

"UUUUSOOOOPP POOOOUUUUNND!" SKISH! The mole-woman dropped back down into her hole causing Usopp's big hammer to miss. WHOMP!

"She escaped," Usopp growled, "WHERE ARE YOU PENGUIN?"

"I TOLD YOU I'M A MOLE NOT A PENGUIN MORON!" Ms. Merry Christmas shouted from a nearby hole.

"NOW I SEE YOU!" Usopp called out. "USOPP POUND!" WHOMP! What followed was a physical interpretation of a Whack-a-Mole game. Usopp ran around the hole-filled clearing bringing his hammer down wherever the mole-woman popped up. "USOPP POUND!" WHOMP! "POUND!" WHOMP! "POUND!" WHOMP! "POUND!" WHOMP!

But Ms. Merry Christmas was fast and managed to avoid getting hit by any of Usopp's attacks. At least until he briefly changed tactic. "USOPP RUBBER BAND OF DOOM!" SNAP!

"GAAH!" Ms. Merry Christmas let out yelp as Usopp snapped the dreaded rubber band in her face. But then quickly sank back down into the hole and popped out of another one prompting the Whack-a-Mole game to continue.

Eventually Usopp and Ms. Merry Christmas were both left panting. Usopp hadn't managed to hit her but on the plus side, the mole-woman still wasn't trying to hit him.

"Damn, you're everywhere mole-woman!" Usopp complained.

"HAH!" Ms. Merry Christmas chortled. "YA MISSED ME! SO WHAT'S THE POINT OF THAT BIG HAMMER..." HUFF! "...IF YOU CAN'T MANAGE TO HIT ME?"

"Ahahahahaha!" Usopp laughed, "Let me tell ya something, penguin! I'm sure you've heard by now that a good number of your fellow Baroque Works Agent have been eliminated by us. But the truth is... it was all me!"

"NO!" Ms. Merry Christmas shrieked. "YOU DID ALL THAT?"

"In addition!" Usopp added.

"Remember to make your story sound believable," imaginary-Y/N advised.

"I COMMAND A PLATOON OF EIGHTY ELITE WARRIOS!" Usopp seamlessly continued.

Ms. Merry Christmas just stared in shock while Chopper shouted. "THAT'S AWEESOOMEE!"

"FIVE TONS!" Usopp boasted as he held up his huge hammer.

"AWESOME!" Chopper cheered.

"FIVE TONS!" Usopp called out again.

"AWESOME!" Chopper cheered again.

But while Usopp and Chopper carried on boasting and cheering... Mr. 4 opened his eyes.

"Uuuggghhh..." the large man groaned as he pushed himself back upright and rubbed his head.

"GAH! HE HAS TO WAKE UP NOW?" Usopp complained.

"HE SURVIVED BEING HIT BY A FIVE-TON HAMMER?" Chopper exclaimed. "WHAT KIND OF MONSTER IS HE?"

"HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A BUMP ON HIS HEAD!" Ms. Merry Christmas realized. "He took a direct blow to the head from a five-ton hammer and he's okay? Why is that?"

Usopp shook in shock as his ruse began unraveling.

A-CHOO! Lassoo sneezed out a baseball which hit the head of Usopp's hammer and exploded. KA-BOOOM! Everyone stared in shock as the remains of Usopp's 'hammer' hung limply off of the stick.

It was Chopper who found his voice first. "YOU MEAN THAT THING WAS A FAKE?"

"OF COURSE IT WAS!" Usopp called back as he held his smoking stick. "YOU REALLY THINK I CAN LIFT FIVE-TONS? I STOP TRYING AFTER A HUNDRED POUNDS! This is a model a made! It's only a couple of frying pans, attached to a stick, and covered in paper!"

An aura of pure rage surrounded Ms. Merry Christmas as she glared at Usopp and was filled with a building rage. "WHY YOU!" the mole-woman snarled. "YOU TRICKED ME WITH A PIECE OF PAPER? NO MORE MERCY FOR YOU! MOLE-SWIMMING: MOLE-FISH ESCCAPE!" SWISH! Ms. Merry Christmas dove into her hole and disappeared.

-x-

4:

-x-

"SHE WENT UNDERGROUND INTO THE MOLE-TUNNELS AGAIN!" Usopp shouted in alarm. "WATCH OUT FOR THE HOLES CHOPPER!"

"What's she planning this time?" Usopp wondered and he spun around and looked for any signs of Ms. Merry Christmas. All he saw as Mr. 4 sticking out of his hole and Lassoo still standing in the same spot as before.

"WHERE ARE YOU MOLE THING?" Usopp hollered. "WHERE DID YOU GOOO?"

"HAHAHAHA!" Ms. Merry Christmas' laughter rang out from underground. "Did you say watch out for the holes? Hahahahaha! That won't do you any good! Moving around underground is just like swimming in a pool to me! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THIS TIME!"

Skiff! The sand Usopp was standing on began to shake and a strong sense of fear gripped him. "Now this is bad..." Usopp whimpered.

SKUSH! Ms. Merry Christmas leapt out of the sand behind Usopp and swung her clawed hand at him, "MOLE MOLE BANANA!" SWASH! Usopp was smacked upside the head by the hand that was baring claws the size of bananas and was sent flying across the hole-filled expanse of sand, hit the ground, and eventually tumbled to a stop in the middle of the ruins.

"Mr. 4! Lassoo!" Ms. Merry Christmas barked out. "Take care of the reindeer-man! Show him your 400 Base Hits!"

A-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO-CHOO! Lassoo started sneezing up a storm and Chopper stared in shock as he suddenly found himself surrounded by FOUR HUNDRED ticking time bombs.

"It's no use... there's no way I can handle an attack like this!" Chopper thought to himself. "I have to think up a way to beat this guy! And quickly! Before he kills us both!"

"Or you could... I don't know... DODGE!" imaginary-Y/N advised. "Hide in a hole and find his weakness once everything's stopped exploding."

KRACK! KRACK! KRACK! Showing speed that went against his slow nature Mr. 4 rapidly popped in and out of the sea of holes and smacked his bat into the baseball bombs and sent them flying towards Chopper.

Chopper found himself surrounded by the incoming bombs and quickly heeded imaginary-Y/N's advice and shifted into his Brain Point form and dove into the nearest hole. SWISH!

Chopper curled into a ball underground in the hole while the bombs exploded overhead, KA-BOOOM-BOOOM-BOOOM-BOOOM-BOOOM!

-x-

Heading north through Alubarana Vivi was running through the streets trying to ignore the sounds of the Royal Army and Rebel Army fighting just streets away from her.

"Koza... where are you?" Vivi thought to herself. "What have you done to our country?"

Vivi closed her eyes and tried to drown out the sound of her people killing each other but ended up tripping over a loose stone and fell to the ground. The Princess slowly pushed herself back up. She couldn't afford to stop now.

"Remember..." her father once told her, "a country is its people."

"Oh father," Vivi sobbed.

"Now Miss. Vivi, don't you have a rebellion to stop?" Sanji asked as he stood ready to fight Mr. 2 so she could go on.

"You want it to work out so nobody dies in this fight," Luffy pointed out before they had fought after leaving Yuba. "Isn't that right? You'll never win that way."

"WHAT IS SO WRONG ABOUT NOT WANTING TO SEE PEOPLE DIE OR GET HURT?" Vivi had shouted.

"'Cause people die, that's why," Luffy bluntly stated.

"STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!" Vivi yelled. "I WON'T LISTEN TO IT!

"You truly are the one and only hope of preventing that tragedy," Zoro had said when they left Luffy behind to face Crocodile while racing ahead to Alubarna. "You must survive... no matter what. From this point on what happens to Luffy... or ANY OF US for that matter isn't the least bit important!"

"QUAAA! QUAAA! QUAAA!" Carue shrieked from the ground as he waved Vivi onward.

"LUUUUUFFYYYYYY!" Vivi stood up and shouted across the sand at the now distant form of Luffy. "LIIIIISTEEEEEN! WE'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU! WE'LL BE IN ALUBARNA!"

"YEAAAAHHH!" Luffy cheered as he watched his Nakama race off on the crab.

With the support of her friends and to spite Crocodile, Vivi pushed herself onward towards the palace. "I'm going to stop this," she resolved. Everyone was counting on her to succeed. She couldn't fail. "No matter what I have to do!"

-x-

Usopp sat up in the middle of the ruins and stared at the black cloud of smoke that was billowing over where he'd last seen Chopper. "CHOOOPPEEER!"

When the smoke finally cleared, Usopp's sharp eyes spotted a blue nose poking out of the holes cautiously sniffing the air.

"Ooooooooohhhhhh..." Mr. 4 moaned as he watched Chopper climbed out of the hole.

"Now it's time to get serious," Chopper resolved as he pulled out a familiar yellow ball. "RUMBLE!" Chopper tossed the ball up into the air and caught it in his mouth, then bit down on it, CHOMP! "Brain Boost: SCOPE!" Chopper held his tiny hooves together and stared through the circle in between them at Mr. 4 and attempted to find his weakness.

"Heh... Chopper," Usopp sighed in relief. Happy to see that the reindeer was okay.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO WORRY ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE!" Ms. Merry Christmas shouted from underground. "I TOLD YOU I WAS DONE BEING MERCIFUL! I think I'll torment you for just a little while longer before I finish you off for good! MOLE BANANA!" SKUUSH!

"WAAAH!" Usopp yelped as Ms. Merry Christmas's banana-sized claws shot out of the sand in between his legs and shot up towards a 'private' place in between his legs. The sniper jumped up off of the sand in a frantic attempt to dodge the claw. "HEY! IT'S POOR FORM TO GO AFTER THAT SPOT ON A GUY!"

"STOP YOUR WHINING!" Ms. Merry Christmas snapped. "MOLE BANANA!"

"AAAAAAAHHH!" Usopp screamed and took off running while Ms. Merry Christmas' claws shot out of the sand and swiped at him.

Usopp looked ahead and spotted a wall followed by the remains of some kind of building. "There's a part of a wall there!" Usopp realized. "If I keep running at this speed and she follows me, she'll run into the part of the wall that's under the sand!"

"BANANA! BANANA!" Ms. Merry Christmas shouted as her claws shot out at Usopp.

"Come on..." Usopp thought to himself as he picked up speed and sprinted towards the wall. "Come on..." Usopp reached the wall and jumped up and over it, "GO AHEAD AND SPLIT YOUR HEAD IN TWO! STUPID PENGUIN!"

Usopp flew over the wall and landed on the foundation of the building behind it. KRAASSHH! The wall shattered as Ms. Merry Christmas smashed straight through it and kept going. KRESH! KRESH! KA-THOOOOM!

"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" all Usopp could do was let out a terrified scream as the ruin crumbled around him and came crashing down all around and on top of him.

-x-

"USOPP!" Chopper gasped when he saw the building remains go crashing down around the sniper out of the corner of his eye.

KRACK! Mr. 4 smashed his bat into a baseball bomb and sent it flying at Chopper. The reindeer still had his hooves clasped together in a Scope as the bomb it him, KA-BOOOOM!

"WAAAAAAHHH!" Chopper screamed as he was blown backwards.

"Fooooouuuurrrr..." Mr. 4 said as he held his bat out to the side while one hand while using the other to rub his upper-arm.

But when the smoke cleared, Chopper pulled himself back up and once again looked over at the demolished remains of the ruins.

"Usopp..." Chopper groaned. Then he looked back over at Mr. 4 and put his hooves together in another attempt to scope out the batter's weakness. "I can't be worried about that. The Rumble Ball will only last for two more minutes. Usopp will be fine. It'll take more than that to finish him. Right now, finding the enemy's weakness comes first. Otherwise we ARE going to die here. I just have to remember what Usopp told me back on the ship. Right now... I just have to do whatever I can!"

Chopper continued to stare through the scope while Mr. 4 stared at him and wound up to hit another bomb.

-x-

Krek... KREEK! Usopp pushed up the chunk of rock he was buried underneath and tossed it aside. KRASH! The sniper stood up and took a moment to catch his breath before he glanced around him at the ruined ruin.

Usopp grinned and let out a low chuckle that grew to a loud laugh, Ms. Merry Christmas was nowhere in sight. "Ahahahaha... AHAHAHAHAHA! GOT CRUSHED, HUH? SERVES YA RIGHT YOU STUPID, OLD PENGUIN-WOMAN!"

"MOLE! I'M A MOLE YOU MORON!" Ms. Merry Christmas yelled. Usopp let out a high pitched squeak as she popped out of the wreckage right in front of him. "MOLEHILL HIGHWAY!" She dunked underground but her claws came back up and grabbed a hold of Usopp's feet. WHAP! WWHHSSSSSHHHHHHH! Ms. Merry Christmas took off and borrowed through the sand dragging the unwilling, wailing Usopp along with her.

"WAAAAAAHHHH!" Usopp screamed. "LET GOOOO! STOP IT ALREADY! HELP! WHATDOIDO? WHATDOIDO?"

"Have you thought of attacking her?" imaginary-Y/N suggested. "You know where she is now. And she's underground so she won't see it coming."

Usopp desperately shoved his hand into his weapon pouch and pulled out the first one he could find... the flintlock revolver. Usopp pointed the gun down in between Ms. Merry Christmas' claws and pulled the trigger. BANG! The bullet impacted with the ground and exploded, KA-BOOOM!

"GRRAAAH!" the mole-woman stopped burrowing and lost her hold on Usopp's feet.

"AHAHAHAHAHA!" Usopp laughed as he took off running and hurdled a nearby ruin wall. "HOW DO YA LIKE A TASTE OF YOUR OWN MEDICINE? YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES WITH BOMBS IN YOUR ARSENAL!"

"HOW DARE YOU!" Ms. Merry Christmas yelled. "MOLE MOLE BANANA!" SKUSSHH! The mole-woman burrowed after Usopp and lashed out with her banana-sized claws.

Usopp ran out of the ruins and out into the open field of holes that Chopper and Mr. 4 were in. "And now for a super special attack!" Usopp announced as he pulled out his slingshot and loaded it while still running at full speed. "TAKE THIS!" Usopp jumped over the edge of the first hole he found and aimed down into it, "ROTTEN EGG STAR!" WHING! Usopp grinned as he fired the egg into the hole. KRACK!

"AAAAHHHH! DEAR GOD!" the rancid smell reached Ms. Merry Christmas first. "NASTY! EEEWW! UGGHHH! KOFF! KOFF! IT'S HORRIBLE!" SHUNK! Ms. Merry Christmas burst out through a new hole in the sand and promptly started throwing up. BLAAGGHHH!

"Foooouuuurrr!" Mr. 4 groaned and dropped his bat so he could clamp his hands over his nose and mouth as the rotten egg smell reached him. "Uuuuggghhhh..."

"THAT'S IT!" Chopper exclaimed. "I KNOW THEIR WEAKNESS!"

"CHOPPER!" Usopp shouted. "IF YOU'VE GOT A PLAN! DO IT NOOOOW!"

"RIGHT!" Chopper agreed he ran across the sand still in his Brain Point form while Mr. 4 and Ms. Merry Christmas attempted to recover from the horrid smell of Usopp's rotten egg. WHUMP! Chopper dove and landed in front of Lassoo and quickly flung dirt into the dog's face, Swish! Swish! Swish!

AAAAHHH— The dog took a deep breath to sneeze, Chopper acted quickly and ducked the dog's head into the nearest hole. –CHOOOOOOOOO-CHOOOOO-CHOOOOOO!

"USOPP! USOPP!" Chopper called out. "WE'VE GOTTA RUN!"

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE!" Usopp shrieked as he took off running.

"Walk Point: LEG BOOST!" Chopper shifted into his reindeer form and easily caught up with Usopp thanks to his four boosted legs. "HURRY! AND STAY AWAY FROM THE HOLES!"

"THOSE BASTARDS ARE GONNA PAY!" Ms. Merry Christmas roared when she finally stopped vomiting. But then the holes started glowing. "What that? What's going on?"

Usopp and Chopper ran as fast as they could as they light from an impending explosion began emitting from every hole in the field.

KAAA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM! The resulting explosion caused Alubarna to shake and could be seen from everyone in the city.

-x-

KAAA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!

Vivi – who was once again running towards the palace – tripped and fell as the ground started shaking underneath her. She looked towards the South-East Gate and spotted the billowing coud of smoke that was easily half the size of the city.

-x-

"And that's the molehill's weakness," Chopper said as he and Usopp surveyed his handiwork. "All the tunnels are connected to each other in one big network."

"AHAHAHAHA!" Usopp laughed. "NICE GOING! THAT'LL TEACH THOSE BAROQUE WORKS JERKS TO MESS WITH US! AHAHAH—HUH?"

Usopp stopped laughing when he spotted a large silhouette in the dark cloud of smoke. The large shape was accompanied by two smaller ones.

"AAAAAAAAHHH!" Usopp screamed in horror. "THEY'RE ALIVE!"

"This isn't good!" Chopper gasped. "My Rumble Ball's effectiveness is already half-gone now!"

The smoke cleared and revealed Mr. 4, Ms. Merry Christmas, and Lassoo. They looked scuffed, dirty, and scorched but were all still alive and awake.

"WHAT DO WE DO NOW?" Usopp shouted.

"I'm out of ideas," imaginary-Y/N admitted, "Those guys are freaks."

"WWAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Usopp screamed as he took off running with Chopper on his heels. "THEY'RE MONSTERS! WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE AND EXPLOSION LIKE THAT? WE'VE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE! I DON'T WANNA DIE HERE!"

"USOPP!" Chopper yelled. "RUNNING AWAY ISN'T GOING TO WORK!"

"HE'S RIGHT LONG NOSE!" SKUSH! Ms. Merry Christmas popped out of new hole in front of them. "That was some trick you two pulled! I had to dig an entirely new tunnel so I could avoid that damn rotten egg smell! I hope you don't expect us to let you off like nothing happened! YOU'RE GONNA PAY!"

"EEEEEEK!" Usopp screamed like a little girl and jumped away from the two agents. "RUN FOR IT CHOPPER!"

"Run and regroup," imaginary-Y/N advised Chopper. "As long as you're still conscious you can come at them again with a new plan." Usopp and Chopper took off running.

"Hahahaha!" Ms. Merry Christmas laughed at the two retreating pirates. "With a Captain that's so pathetic it's not surprise that the rest of the crew is useless!"

SKIISSSHHH! Usopp, Chopper, and even imaginary-Y/N skidded to a stop and turned to glare at the mole-woman.

"What did you say?" they growled.

-x-

Sworn on a Friend's Dream:

-x-

"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT LUFFY?" Usopp demanded.

"You mean that Straw Hat kid?" Ms. Merry Christmas asked. "That idiot was killed last night by the boss! And now the rebellion's started and is well underway! I guess you picked the wrong people to mess with!"

"She said that Luffy... is dead?" Chopper questioned.

"That's bullshit," imaginary-Y/N chimed in. "There's no way Crocodile could killed someone as strong-willed as Luffy. He may have beaten him. But Luffy can come back from anything."

Usopp eyes narrowed and he glared at the mole-woman, "DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO US, YOU DIRTY MOLE-WOMAN! THERE'S NO WAY WE'LL LISTEN TO YOU! THERE'S NO WAY LUFFY CAN BE DEAD! YOU HEAR ME? HE'D NEVER LOSE TO THAT ALLIGATOR BASTARD!"

"And what makes you think that stupid scrawny little Captain of yours could even last five second against our boss ya stupid long nose?" Ms. Merry Christmas demanded.

"BECAUSE SOMEDAY HE'S GONNA BECOME KING OF THE PIRATES!" Usopp shouted, "SO THERE'S NO CHANCE THAT HE WOULD LET HIMSELF DIE HERE!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Ms. Merry Christmas laughed. "DID YOU HEAR THAT MR. 4? He'll be the 'Pirate King'! Pi-King! Pi-King! Ping! HAHAHAHAHA!"

"FWAAH FWAAH FWAAH!" Mr. 4 laughed along with his partner from behind the pirates.

"THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD!" Ms. Merry Christmas exclaimed. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Usopp gritted his teeth so hard that his mouth bled as the mole-woman continued to laugh at his best friend's dream.

"HAHAHA! KING OF THE PIRATES!" Ms. Merry Christmas laughed. "ONLY IDIOTS LIKE YOU AND YOUR PATHETIC FRIENDS WOULD BELIEVE A RIDICULOUS STORY LIKE THAT! I'M GLAD THAT PATHETIC CAPTAIN OF YOURS IS DEAD! HE'S A MORON WHO DIDN'T KNOW HIS OWN PLACE! HE WAS A 'RON! HAHA! A RON! HAHAHA!"

"CHOPPEEER!" Usopp called out to the reindeer. "LISTEN! A REAL MAN..."

WHAP! Ms. Merry Christmas grabbed Usopp's legs again, "MOLEHILL HIGHWAY!" WHHHSSSSSHHHH! Ms. Merry Christmas once again burrowed the through the sand dragging Usopp along with her. "IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU DIED LONG NOSE!"

Usopp quickly pulled out his revolver and fired it down at Ms. Merry Christmas' claws, BANG! Ms. Merry Christmas heard the gun go off and released Usopp's legs so she could dive deeper and avoid the explosion. KA-BOOOM! Usopp jumped back out of the way and quickly drew his trusty slingshot.

"HAHAHAHA! YOU MISSED" Ms. Merry Christmas boasted as she popped her head out of a new hole in the sand.

WHING! "SPECIAL ATTACK: SURE-KILL FIRE STAR!" Usopp had planned on Ms. Merry Christmas popping up at that moment so his projectile hit her before she even had a chance to dodge. FWOOOOSSHH!

"WAAAAAHHH!" Ms. Merry Christmas wailed. The mole-woman was covered in flames and quickly jumped out of the hole and rolled around on the sand in an attempt to put out the fire before it burned her too badly.

"I WASN'T FINISHED, YOU DAMN PENGUIN!" Usopp snapped before he turned back to Chopper. "LISTEN CHOPPER! There are times when a real man MUST stay and fight... no matter how terrifying, or hideous, or corrupt his enemy might be! No matter how slim the chance of survival! AND THAT'S WHEN A TRUE FRIEND'S DREAM IS LAUGHED AT!"

"YOU BASTARD! I'LL KILL YOU!" Ms. Merry Christmas hollered from underground. WHAP! A pair of scorched claws shot out of the ground and grabbed Usopp by the legs. "MOLEHILL HIGHWAY!" WWHHHSSSSSHHHH! Ms. Merry Christmas raced off dragging Usopp with her once again. "YOU'LL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!"

"Not this again," Usopp complained as he reached into his bag to grab a weapon. But he never got the chance to draw it.

"MOLE MOLE IMPACT!" KER-RASH! Ms. Merry Christmas reached the ruins and smashed Usopp straight through a stole wall. Usopp's arms went limp, his long nose was crooked, and his body was covered in bruises that resulted from pulverizing stone.

"NOW MR. 4!" Ms. Merry Christmas shouted to her partner from underground. "YOU'RE UP! TAKE YOUR BATTING STANCE! READY YOUR FOUR-TON BAT!"

"USOPP!" Chopper cried out as he desperately ran after the mole-woman as she burrowed towards Mr. 4. The #4 batter pulled back his huge bat and wound up for a big swing.

"THIS IS IT!" Ms. Merry Christmas yelled, "MOLEHILL INTERSECTION #4!"

KER-RACK! Mr. 4 used his herculean strength to smash his four-ton bat into the vulnerable form of Usopp and sent him flying up into the air. The sniper's skull cracked from the incredible impact. Usopp flew overhead then went crashing to the ground and landed in a boneless heap, KRASH! A curtain of sand rose around him and hid the sniper's limp body from view.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ms. Merry Christmas laughed from in her hole next to Mr. 4.

"FWAAAH! FWAAAH! FWAAAH!" Mr. 4 chortled along with her.

"THE WEAK ARE ALWAYS WEAK!" Ms. Merry Christmas exclaimed. "EVEN IF THEY PRETEND THEY'RE NOT! HOW SAD!"

"DAMN YOU!" Chopper snarled as he rushed over to the two agents. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?"

"Oh look!" Ms. Merry Christmas observed. "The blue-nose wants to play now! That's no problem at all! We'd be happy to take care of you just like we took care of your long-nosed freak friend over there! Hahahahaha!"

"Fwaaah fwaaah fwaaah!" Mr. 4 laughed along with her.

"SHUT UP!" Chopper shouted.

"Call her a penguin," imaginary-Y/N advised, "She hates that."

"YOU DAMN PENGUIN!" Chopper continued.

"DAMN IT! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU IDIOTS? I'M A—"

"USOPP'S NOT WEAK!" Chopper yelled over her. "YOU HEAR ME?"

"Uuuggghhh..." a low groan broke out from behind the two agents. All three of them turned to see Usopp rising to his feet. The sniper looked dead on his feet. Any part of him that wasn't covered in blood was sporting a purple bruise. But somehow Usopp had withstood the impact of the four-ton hammer and was still standing. "Like I said... its times like these... where a real man can't run away... where he's gotta stay and fight... and he's gotta win..."

"HE'S STILL STANDING?" Ms. Merry Christmas shouted in shock. "BUT YOU GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A BAT THAT WEIGHS FOUR TONS! YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN BE ALIVE YA DAMN 'RON! YOU SHOULDN'T! NO YOU SHOULDN'T! NO WAY! WHAT SORT OF SNEAKY TRICK ARE YOU USING THIS TIME? HUH?"

"Luffy is NOT dead!" Usopp insisted, "He's going to be... King of the Pirates someday! I KNOW HE WILL!" Usopp glared at the two agents. "THAT IS ONE THING! THAT I WILL NEVER LET YOU LAUGH AT! NEVER!"

"Hah!" Ms. Merry Christmas barked, "I guess the damn long nose hasn't learned his lesson! LET'S GO AGAIN MR. 4!" The mole-woman dove back down into her hole.

SWISH! Chopper through off his desert cloak leaving him in his pink top hat and maroon shorts. "I'm not gonna let that happen! Let me show you the transformation point I've been saving! RAAAAAH!" With a loud roar Chopper shifted into his seventh form. Hands replaced his hooves and his arms became muscled while the back was covered in thick brown fur while his feet remained as hooves. TMP! Chopper dropped down onto all fours as his body became muscled and bulky. Thick brown fur grew out on his back. Finally, his short antlers branched out and became the fully-formed antlers of an adult reindeer. "HORN POINT... HORN BOOST! I'M COMING USOPP!" The beastly reindeer raced over to save Usopp.

"MOLEHILL HIGHWAY!" WHAP! Ms. Merry Christmas grabbed Usopp by the ankles and once again dragged him through the sand.

"CH-CHOOOOPPEEEEER!" Usopp called out as the reindeer caught up and ran alongside him. "JUST... JUST GET BEHIND ME, OKAY?"

"GOT IT!" Chopper agreed.

"ALRIGHT MR. 4!" Ms. Merry Christmas called out. "GET READY!"

"FOOOOUUUR!" Mr. 4 said as he wound up.

But because the mole-woman hadn't smashed him through a wall this time, Usopp managed to reach into his bag and pulled out his slingshot and a special projectile. The sniper pulled down his goggles and loaded his slingshot as fast as he could in his highly injured state. "Take this special attack..." Usopp growled.

"HERE WE GO!" Ms. Merry Christmas called out as she approached Mr. 4. "MOLEHILL..."

"SPECIAL ATTACK: SMOKE STAR!" FWING! FWOOOOSSSHH! The projectile exploded and covered Mr. 4 and the area all around him in smoke. Ms. Merry Christmas was caught by surprise when Usopp slipped from her grasp and leapt to the side. "ARLIGHT CHOPPER! THE REST IS UP TO YOU!"

"Right!" Chopper agreed as he lowered his horns and closed in behind Ms. Merry Christmas.

"THAT STUPID 'RON!" Ms. Merry Christmas exclaimed as she was left holding Usopp's empty shoes, "HE TOOK OFF HIS SHOES AND JUMPED RIGHT OFF!" WHUMP! "WAAAAHH!" the mole-woman let out a surprised yelp as she was lifted out of the ground and up into the air by Chopper's horns. The reindeer kept going and charged at Mr. 4.

Usopp sat up and shouted out in his best Ms. Merry Christmas impression, "MOLEHILL INTERSECTION #4!"

"NO! DON'T DO IT MR. 4!" Ms. Merry Christmas screamed. "DON'T DO IT! IT'S ME!"

KER-RACK! Mr. 4 swung his four-ton bat and smashed it right into his own partner. The batter could only stare in wide-eyed shock as he watched his partner go flying through the air and demolish a ruin as she crashed down through it. KER-RASH!

"HEEEY YOOUUU GUUUUYYS!" Usopp called out to Mr. 4 and Lassoo. "WHY DON'T YOU LOOK OVER HERE?"

Mr. 4 looked to the side to see Usopp crouched behind Chopper. The dreaded Usopp Rubber Band of Doom was stretched around Chopper's boosted antlers like a giant slingshot and was loaded with a heavy-looking hammer.

"USO-CHO HAMMER SHOOTING STAR!" THWANG! Usopp released the rubber band and sent the hammer flying straight into Mr. 4. BOOOOOM! The hammer slammed into Mr. 4's chest and sent the large man flying backward straight into Lassoo. WHAM! Mr. 4 kept going and slammed himself and his dog through large stone column. KRASH! The column was demolished as the big man and his gun went through it and crashed to the ground next to the unconscious Ms. Merry Christmas.

Blah! Lassoo spat out one last baseball time bomb which rolled out of his mouth and stopped in the middle of the prone trio. KA-BOOOOOOM!

"AHA-ha-haaa-aaahhhh..." Usopp's laugh lost strength and became a groan as his injuries caught up with him and he fell backwards. FWUMP! "We did it..."

"Nicely done you two," imaginary-Y/N congratulated them before fading away.

"USOPP! ARE YOU OKAY?" Chopper yelled. The time limit on his Rumble Ball expired and he shifted back into his tiny Brain Point form and ran over to his injured Nakama. "USOPP! JUST HANG IN THERE, ALRIGHT? DON'T DIE ON ME! WE NEED TO FIND A DOCTOR! A DOOOCTOOOR!"

"Chopper... you're a doctor..." Usopp groaned.

"Oh," was Chopper's sheepish reply.

The battle at the South-East Gate had concluded.

Winners: Team Usopp and Chopper

-x-

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!!!