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SCOUT

BUONG ARAW AKONG HINDI LUMABAS ng hotel at mas pinili ko nalang na magpahinga sa loob. At isa pa, natatakot ako dahil baka bigla kong makasalubong si Stella dito sa Brooklyn. Heto na yata ang kauna-unahang beses na nasagad nang todo ang stamina ko at kinakailangan kong magpahinga nang todo.

Last night, Mackenna and I had some mind-blowing sex. Not once, but many times. And, in a strange way, it was more memorable than the nights I spent with other women. Mackenna is beautiful in her own unique way. Even a simple gesture of hers is so graceful.

Even though she had left my hotel room exactly 3 hours ago, I couldn't stop thinking about her. Is it possible that I recall every detail of what happened last night while being intoxicated by alcohol? Because I could still remember how beautiful her face was and how sexy she was when she yelled and moaned my name. How her soft lips brushed on my lips and my neck, and how warm her mouth was as she sucked my length. How her innocent brown eyes gazed at me as I pushed myself inside her. How perfectly the curve of her body fit into my palm. Her gentle touch on my body, her enticing scent, and the warmth of her skin against mine. Just thinking about what happened between us last night makes my cock throb wildly in my jeans.

God, I think I'm going crazy. Ni hindi ko nga alam kung makikita ko pa ba siya ulit. Hindi na ako umaasa dahil base sa naging reaction niya kanina ay mukhang nagsisisi siya sa nangyari sa'min kagabi. But that is not the case with me. I have no regrets about what happened last night. Because last night was one of the best nights I've ever spent with someone, and I'm thrilled that it was with her.

It's strange how someone I've known for less than 24 hours can have such an impact on me. I'm not sure how this is even possible.

"Shit," napamura ako dahil sumisikip na naman 'yong pantalon ko. I want to see her again, but I'm not even sure where I can find her. And I'm sure she's already busy searching for her sister. Hindi ko alam ang buong kuwento, pero nabanggit niya sa'kin kagabi ang tungkol sa pag-alis ng kapatid niya.

"She just suddenly left. And the only reason that I'm here in Brooklyn is because of her." she chugged the red wine from the bottle. We're both too drunk to even care that we're sharing one bottle of wine without using a wine glass. "I'm going to find her and talk to her and get the closure that I need so I can move on."

"Bakit siya umalis? Siguro sinungitan mo 'yung kapatid mo kaya ka nilayasan," pagbibiro ko. Inabot ko 'yung bote ng wine mula sakaniya at tinungga 'yon na parang tubig lang. Mapungay na ang mga mata ko, pero ni hindi ko maramdaman ang pagod dahil sobrang nag-eenjoy ako sa pakikipag-usap kay Mackenna.

"Gago!" nagulat ako sa malutong na pagmura niya. Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa, mukhang nagulat din siya sa pagmumura niya at saka kami tumawa nang malakas. May ibang napatingin sa'min, pero wala kaming pakealam sakanila. Napapailing na lang rin 'yung bartender sa'ming dalawa.

"Grabe ang lutong mo naman mag mura!"

"Ikaw kasi, e."

"Nagbibiro lang naman ako." sagot ko. Ang pula na ng pisngi at labi niya, at kanina pa ako nate-tempt na abutin at hawakan 'yung labi niya. "Close ba kayo ng kapatid mo?" tanong ko at tumango siya.

"We were very close. We've only had each other for a few years. And I think she got tired of me that's why she decided to leave me. I had become so reliant on her that I had become a burden she couldn't handle." Her eyes began to well up with tears as she tells me that. I locked my gaze on her and listened closely to what she had to say. "It's funny how quickly everyone abandons me. It's like it's just easy for them to leave me behind. And now I'm starting to wonder whether this is my fate. To be all alone." Her eyes didn't even reach her eyes when she smiled at me. It was a sad smile, and somehow, I could feel the weight she was bearing on her chest. Kaya hindi na ako nagdalawang isip pa para abutin 'yung pisngi niya at marahan itong haplusin. Sunod-sunod nagpatakan ang mga luha sa mata niya at isa-isa ko 'yung pinunasan.

"Mackenna, no one deserves to be alone. Not you, not anyone. And maybe they left you for some selfish reasons. I don't know. But guess what? They made a huge mistake by leaving someone as beautiful, kind, and amazing as you. Sinayang ka nila dahil iniwan ka nila, kaya h'wag mong sisisihin ang sarili mo dahil sa mga desisyong ginawa nila."

"Sana mahanap mo na ang kapatid mo dahil hindi ko gustong makita na may lungkot sa mga mata mo."

Hindi ko maipaliwanag 'yong nararamdaman ko, pero nang makita ko kung gaano kalungkot ang mga mata ni Mackenna kagabi habang kinekuwento niya sa'kin 'yun parang gusto ko nalang gawin ang lahat para lang sumaya siya. That's why I really hope that she will find her sister so she can move on and be happy again because she deserves that.

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Mga bandang 4 p.m. ay nagdesisyon akong lumabas para bumili sandali ng makakain dahil kanina pa kumakalam ang sikmura ko. Medyo nawala na rin ang sakit ng ulo ko dahil halos maghapon akong nakahiga at natulog lang.

Nag search lang ako sa google kung saan may masarap na makakainan at may nakita ako na malapit lang mula sa hotel ko kaya doon ako nagpunta. At dahil medyo mainit ngayon kaya nagsuot lang ako ng white t-shirt, faded dark jeans and white sneakers. At nagdadasal rin ako na sana ay hindi ko makasalubong bigla si Stella rito. I last spoke with her the night before I met Mackenna at the bar. I was feeling so bad for lying to her, so I decided to have a drink so I could sleep at night, but everything changed when I met Mackenna.

I just ordered a takeout and then decided to go back to the hotel and hide again, when I saw a souvenir store. Maaga pa naman at naisip ko na malaki ang Brooklyn para magkita kami ni Stella kaya nag-ikot-ikot muna ako para maghanap nang puwedeng ipampasalubong pag balik ko sa Pilipinas.

May mga magaganda at bagong ref magnet akong nakita kaya doon ako agad pumunta. Mahilig kasi mangolekta 'yung kaibigan kong si Ty ng mga ref magnet kaya bibilhan ko siya ng marami.

I was busy looking around inside the store when somebody caught my attention.

"How many times have I told you to stop wasting my money!" the guy yelled at the woman. He was yelling at her as if no one was watching them. The woman couldn't even talk because of embarrassment. They were standing by the entrance of the door, at lahat nang napapadaan ay tumitingin sakanila. May iba pa akong nakita na vini-videohan sila imbes na awatin.

"Babe, please stop. Everyone's watching us. Let's just go home." The woman begged and tried to hold the guy, who I think was her boyfriend, but he just slapped her hand away.

"I shouldn't have taken you with me if I knew you were just going to spend all my money!" he yelled again. Sinubukan ulit siyang hawakan noong babae para pakalmahin ito pero nagulat ako nang akmang sasampalin noong lalaki 'yung babae kaya halos patakbo akong lumapit sa dalawa.

"Excuse me, sir," halos ipagitna ko na ang katawan ko sakanilang dalawa para hindi niya masaktan 'yung girlfriend niya. I hid the gir behind me while the guy glared at me for minding their business.

"Who the fuck are you?" he hissed at my face.

"I know this is not my business, but this is a public place sir and you're causing a huge scene here. Everyone's watching you, taking videos of you yelling at your girlfriend. There are kids everywhere. So, please calm down." I said, clenching my fist in anger. Ang pinaka-ayaw ko sa lahat ay nakikitang pinagbubuhatan nang kamay ang kahit na sino.

"Fuck you!" was all he said. Mabuti nalang at hindi siya umalma dahil sa ginawa ko. Agad nalang siyang tumalikod at naglakad paalis pagkatapos akong murahin. Napabuntong-hininga ako at saka hinarap 'yung iniwan niyang girlfriend na nasa likuran ko. Bakas sa mukha niya ang takot. Napansin ko rin 'yung mga pasa sa braso at kamay niya. I suspect that this is not the first time she has experienced this from him.

"Miss, are you—"

"You didn't have to do that," she cuts me off. "It was my fault that he was so mad. He's not always like that, I promise. So, please don't report him to the police." Nagulat ako dahil sa sinabi niya. I expect that she will thank me for saving her instead. Aalis na sana siya pero pinigilan ko siya.

"Don't let him hurt you like this. You deserve someone better, someone who will not mistreat you."

"How dare you decide who I deserve?" I don't know what to say after she said that. Ni hindi ko maproseso sa isip ko 'yung sinabi niya. The woman just gave me a stern look before yanking my hand and walked away.

After everything that happened at the store, I just decided to go back to my hotel room and eat my takeout food. Mas lalo akong nagutom dahil sa nangyari kanina. Pagkatapos kong kumain ay naghanap ako nang puwedeng panoorin na movie nang biglang mag ring 'yung cellphone ko at nakita kong tumatawag si Stella.

"Hey babe," I answered the call.

"Where are you?" she immediately asked. Napakunot 'yung noo ko dahil sa tanong niya.

"Nasa Manila. Bakit, may problema ba?"

Narinig ko 'yung malalim na pagbuntong-hininga niya sa kabilang linya. "May napanood lang kasi akong viral video sa tiktok na nag-aaway sa isang store sa Brooklyn at medyo kasing katawan at hawig mo 'yung lalaki na pumagitna," halos tumigil 'yung pagtibok ng puso ko dahil sa sinabi ni Stella. "But I know that's impossible because you're in Manila, right?"

I stammered, "R-right," and I swear I almost had a heart attack.

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