*Lokela

"Hey, can you hear me? What is your name?"

A light bore into his eyes. He blinked. "Lokela."

"Great. What day is it?"

"The day I fucked up big-time."

"That's one way to answer," the nurse said. He squinted into Lokela's face. "But try again, do you know what day it is?"

"Wednesday. Two days before the big date. Which would be Friday. I fucked this up royally," Lokela said. The white ceiling above stared back at him blank and cold. There was a green curtain around the bed, and the room had an odor of clean, chemical sharpness. The nurse flashed the light in his other eye while waiting for Lokela to answer. He knew he had messed up. It was his fault—even if the details in his head were a mash-up of scattered scenes and sickening fear. Over the rush of cars, the screech of tires and Ray's scared face, though, was the sight of his friend, crumpled and bleeding on the pavement. "What about Zach?"

"I'm sorry, I don't have information on any other people. Was someone else in the accident with you?"

There was a rap of knuckles at the door. Through the green curtain around Lokela's bed, appeared Miller's face. He was tense, jaw clenched until he noticed Lokela was awake. He deflated, almost bending in half with relief.

"Hey, man," Miller said. "You're up."

"This is for family only," the nurse said. "So unless you're related—"

"This is my brother," both Miller and Lokela said at the same time.

The nurse nodded. "All right. We've got some more tests to run and I assume the doctor will want to keep you in observation for a bit, to be on the safe side."

Lokela nodded. He just wanted information on Zach. "Yeah, I'm fine, but do what you need to do."

Miller must have read his mind. "Stay in the fucking bed and let them do the tests. Zach is stable. I managed to get one of the lady nurses to give me the run-down. Looks like a broken leg—the tibia, plus fracture in the fibula. Not too much blood loss, but he also smacked his head pretty bad. He's out for now."

"It was my fault."

"Accidents happen," the nurse said. "Unless you pushed him in front of the car, it's no one's fault."

"I stopped in the middle of the road. I stopped when Ray—" His voice broke off. He was such a fuck up, he couldn't believe it. He replayed in his head the moment when Zach shoved him out of the way. Ray was shouting. Why had he turned? What did it matter if she was shouting. Why the hell was she shouting, anyway? It hit him harder than Zach had: Lokela, look out!

She had shouted to warn him. But it was Zach who reacted and saved his life.

He owed him. It should be him with multiple breaks and unconscious in the other bed.

"Zach's here on a scholarship," Lokela whispered. "This could ruin his future, all his plans."

"Man, you can't beat yourself up like this. I don't know what happened, but you didn't hit him with that car," Miller said. "Look, mom and pop are coming around. Should be here any minute now. I have to run and get back to the shop now that it looks like you're going to live. Right?"

"Right. I'll live." Lokela bumped his fist in goodbye. The nurse finished noting Lokela's information on his chart and promised the doctor would be around soon.

Soon took another three hours, though. His parents came to sit, and muttered about how careless he had acted and how he had nearly killed not only his best friend, but also his mother. She held his hand until she needed a coffee and his father took her to the café.

The doctor finally showed.

"You look fine, Mr. Kāne," the doctor said. He looked nearly as young as Lokela, but it didn't matter. So long as Lokela could get out of there, he didn't care who signed the forms. "I'm going to recommend some pain killers in case you have pain or trouble sleeping. And of course, if you have any dizziness, headaches, unusual pain or difficulty in focusing, you will need to contact us immediately and prepare to come back in."

Lokela nodded. He was already standing up, ignoring his spinning head and getting his pants on to go. "Can you tell me where my friend Zach Patterson is? He was hit by the car and brought in at the same time as me."

"Honey?" his mom said from the doorway. "I don't think now is the time."

The doctor smiled and said goodbye.

"Mom, I think it is the time. He saved my life."

"Well, he saved you from getting hit by a car, but you should have known better than to cross a busy street at that time in the afternoon. I swear, it's like you don't know about traffic."

"Thanks, mom. This is exactly what I need to hear right now."

"Why don't we go home, son?" his dad said, appearing at her shoulder. "We can come up and visit your friend when he's doing better."

"You know what? I think I'll go to the waiting room and sit for a while. See if I can get in and see him. He doesn't have any family on the island. I think it's the right thing to do."

"Well, if you are going to insist," his mother said. "But call us when you want to come home and we can pick you up."

"In the middle of the night," his father muttered on his way down the hall.

It was good to feel loved. Lokela hitched his shoulders, shoving his hands in his loose shorts. The air-conditioning in the hospital was on full blast, and he wasn't used to the cold. At the shop, they usually just ran the fans, same as at the house where there wasn't any air-conditioning. He sat for over an hour in the waiting room, trying to get the nurses to tell him something. Since he wasn't family, though, they weren't exactly volunteering information.

All Lokela knew was that he was stable, but unconscious. Someone had left a small notebook mixed in with the magazines on the table. He flipped through it. There were some notes about places to visit on the first page and scribbles on the next, but the rest were blank. He stole a pen from the reception.

He sat for another half hour with the notebook in one hand and the pen in the other, not knowing what the hell he wanted to say or who to say it to.

The last thing Zach said was that he needed help convincing Ray he liked her. Lokela hunched over, his guts knotted. Zach had asked for his help and he refused. He refused because he wanted Ray for himself.

Bad. He wanted her bad. There were so many things he wanted to say. He wanted to infuse the pen with the racing of his pulse and stars of the night sky. He wanted the ocean waves to roll across the page in his words so he could swim with her again—the taste of salt water in his mouth and the sound of her laughter filling his heart. He wanted to wrap the sunlight from her hair and skin in a winding line of words for her to follow, as he followed the sight of her every day.

Impossible. It was impossible now for him to tell her any of the things in his mind. Until Zach let her go, he could never make a move. And fuck the bro code, if Lokela had to wait years while they dated, he would be there when it ended. Because sooner or later, it would have to end. Ray would never fall for Zach for long.

Right?

Fuck.

He blinked. The page was filled with handwriting. A letter to Ray, spilling everything Lokela was desperate to hide from her. He ripped the page free and folded it. He would burn it at home—he couldn't risk anyone reading it, not ever. He stood, and as if he had summoned her, Ray was walking down the hallway, straight towards him.

She didn't see him, though. Her eyes were red rimmed, her focus in the distance, lost in thought. He stiffened his spine and forced his shoulders to square.

"Ray," he said. "Ray, do you know where Zach is? How he's doing?"

"Lokela," she gasped. Then she was in his arms, tears soaking his shirt.

His arms held her tight despite the fact she was pressing on about two dozen bruises he hadn't realized lined his ribs, chest and legs. She was pressing on other things too, but he couldn't think about that now. Not when she was crying. He had to stop those tears. Whatever it took. Adrenaline flooded his system, making his vision blur. Did he have to fight someone?

He shook off the feeling. No, fuck. It must be Zach. Guilt washed through him now. His friend was dying or dead, and he was already dreaming of keeping the girl for himself.

"Ray," he said. His hand went to stroke her hair and he realized he was holding the letter she could never see, never read. He shoved it in his pocket. "Ray, what's wrong?"

"I'm just so," she said, but stopped to hiccup. "I'm just so relieved to see that you're all right. I was so scared."

She squeezed him tighter, and he swallowed a groan of pain. He couldn't resist the bodily contact, even if it made him suffer. He deserved it, in fact. "Hey, I'm fine. I've been fine all day, didn't Miller tell you? And what are you still doing here?"

"Of course Miller told me, do you think I'd let him leave without a full update. But seeing you is different. I thought you went home, or I would have come out earlier." She stepped back, releasing him finally, and wiped her nose with a very torn up tissue. He repressed the urge to wipe her tears.

"But why are you here?" he repeated, instead.

"I've been with Zach." She frowned as though it was a dumb question.

"You've been with Zach? But you aren't family? How'd you get the nurses to let you see him?" he asked. He pointed at the reception. "I've been trying to get in to see him all night."

"I just asked. Really nicely. And I brought them smoothies from my friend's shop. Well, I had them delivered. They loved the smoothies and they love me now, and I told them Zach was alone on the island and that I was his girlfriend."

The word was a punch to the gut. He didn't let it show, though. "Great. That was a smart move. Can I see him, too?"

"I don't see why not. Come on." She took his hand—small and thin, but so warm—and dragged him down the hallway.

Zach blinked at him from his horizontal position. A grin flickered at the edges of his mouth, like he wasn't strong enough to fully smile. Relief melted the tension in Lokela's shoulders. His own grin sprang to life. He bumped his fist gently to the back of Zach's hand.

"So, I'll let you two catch up. I really need that sandwich," Ray said. She tucked her loose hair behind her ears, nervously.

"Wait." Zach beckoned her closer and she ducked past Lokela to get to his side. "You're beautiful, you know that?"

From his position, Lokela had a view of the side of her face, only, but it was enough. She lit up like a sunbeam. Frozen, he watched as she dipped forward to press her lips to Zach's, and then to lean lower until her chest rested on his. Her hand was in his hair, and Lokela's entire torso constricted in pain.

Apparently, Zach was in pain, too. He grimaced and gave a little squeak for her to stop.

She popped upright instantly. "Sorry, I'm so sorry!"

"Hey, babe, it's okay. Come right back, right?"

"Right! She cocked her fingers like a gun and shot at him on her way out.

Lokela swallowed. His mouth was drier than the beach at noon. Fuck.

"Holy shit, she's so hot. If I wasn't stuck in this bed, I'd have her in here with me," Zach said. He moved his arms to behind his head—apparently the weak grin and fist-bump had all been an act. The cast on his leg along with the stirrup holding it in place weren't an act, though.

Rage and hopelessness crashed through Lokela's head. He didn't know what to think or feel, so he stood rooted to the spot. The cold hit him again, and his hands dove into his pockets for warmth.

The letter. He pushed it to the bottom of his pocket. What an ass he was for ever writing it. Ray was obviously infatuated with Zach's charm, the same as every other girl who had ever seen him. Next to Zach, he was a lump of ugly.

"So you're not dead?" Lokela asked. "I figured I had better check and find out. I had first dibs on your bike, but I guess it's still yours."

"Shit-head," Zach said, laughing. "I won't be riding it any time soon, but, yeah. I guess I'm still alive."

"I owe you. I owe you big."

"It's nothing." Zach shook head, dismissing his words. "We're brothers, you would have done the same for me."

"Yeah. Yeah, I would have. But this time it was you saving my dumb ass, so thanks."

"Hey, before the car hit me, I asked if you could write me a poem or some shit to impress Ray. Maybe this is fate stepping in and giving me the prize, right?"

"Probably something like that," Lokela said. He crossed his arms. What the hell was he supposed to say? That maybe Ray wasn't a prize for Zach's good deeds? "About the poems and things, I wanted to say—"

"Would you believe they didn't have any sandwiches?" Ray asked from the doorway.

Lokela spun. Fuck. How much had she overheard? It wasn't clear. He had to get out. He had to get out of there now. "So I'll see you, man. I'll stop by tomorrow, so let me know if you need anything."

He left without even saying goodbye to Ray. He was waiting in the parking lot for his brother to pick him up when he reached into his pocket.

The letter addressed to Ray was gone.

*** Oops. Lokela has messed up, this time. ***

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