In some relationships, there was a pivot point.

An origo that allowed your feelings to grab hold and swing themselves around, doing a sharp turn, even a one-eighty, into an entirely new direction.

That was what happened to us after that night we had sushi at my place.

I don't know if it was Tobirama's confession, or the relaxed atmosphere, or the mind-blowing sex we shared. But it was something, and that something was the best thing in the world to me because it gave me this entire new world. I forgot about my anger. I forgot about my father's release from prison. I forgot about my troubles because I loved us.

I loved us.

I loved us so much.

And then best part was I felt the exact same love from the two others. Their love towards me and each other made me feel wanted, desired and, most of all, important. It made me feel safe in a way I hadn't in a long time, but never realised. I could only wish I gave them at least half of what they gave to me.

We met. We went for coffee and expensive dinners and museums, all three of us or two-and-two. We hung out in each other's homes and talked. We weren't in a relationship together yet, feeling the need to talk things through; had we ever been able to imagine ourselves in something non-monogamous (me yes, Hashirama no, Tobirama hadn't been able to imagine himself in a relationship at all)? Did we need to talk to the third part if two of us wanted to meet alone (Hashirama and T didn't feel it was necessary, but I told them I'd prefer that)? How often would we check up (once every two weeks)? Could we sleep with others than the other two (neither of us wanted to once the relationship started)?

Everything was fantastic.

One thing, though, I couldn't quite help but notice, and that was that Hashirama changed at work. He and Merlin seemed to have softened regarding each other, which I took as they'd either talked or fucked, but there was something that didn't quite add up.

Hashirama had dumbed himself down again.

And even if he smiled when Merlin approached him, which he did several times a day now, seemingly happy to see him from an outsider's point of view, I noticed there was a stiffness to the long-haired man that I couldn't quite put my finger on. He seemed to take extra care when Merlin saw not to chop too vigorously, not to shine too brightly. What are you doing, my love? I thought. I wanted to ask him about it, but remembered I'd promised him not to bring Merlin up.

I sighed, focussed on my sashimi. 

The grass outside his villa was turning emerald green. It looked amazing with the whiteness of the facade, and I found myself turning my face up towards the sun, smiling. I could almost believe the sun had a distinct smell in summer; embers and oil and fire. I had my faux leather jacket on, an expensive number that cost half of a month's salary.

It was worth it just to see Tobirama's reaction when he opened the door for me, wearing an oversized T-shirt.

"I want to fuck you from behind wearing only that jacket while I'm completely naked", he said immediately before he even said hi.

"Nice to see you, too", I said with a crooked smile.

He invited me in, but couldn't keep his hands off me. As I took off my shoes, he pressed his groin to my backside from behind, thrusting softly even if he was still dressed while sighing. When I stood up again, he put his large hand against my neck, biting it from behind, his hand going down my stomach to the hem of my trousers. I leaned my head back against his shoulder, taking my jacket off but he stopped me.

"I was serious", he said darkly, unzipping his trousers. I could feel his erection against the fabric of my trousers. "Keep it on."

He kissed my neck over and over, and I couldn't help but laugh, blushing.

"It's good to hear you laugh", he said, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

I turned to him, grabbed his face, kissed him on his lips. He let his mouth stay open to play with my tongue, and did so expertly. His arms around my waist meant something completely else now I knew he not only loved me, but wanted a relationship with me and with Hashirama.

I turned around, jumped up on his waist, one of the few men who could carry my heavy weight, and he put his hands on my thighs and squeezed as he carried me to his couch. He put me down on my back and looked at me lovingly. My breath caught somewhere between my lungs and my heart; he had never looked at me like that, making time stop with his eyes, his face a short distance from mine, looking serious, his light eyes digging holes into my soul. I felt my lips part, my eyes big as I looked at him in awe.

"I love you", I told him.

He sighed, looking away, the spell broken.

"Oh my God, Madara, I love you, too" he said. "So much."

I grabbed his face and put his lips to mine again, and he breathed into my mouth for just a fraction of a second before he kissed me again, and again, and again.

I leaned my head back, and he devoured my neck, and....

That's when I saw it.

Tobirama immediately felt it.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I could feel his naked erection against my groin; he still had his trousers pulled down. It was searching for its way into me.

"Who's that?" I asked.

I didn't have to point; he knew what I was looking at.

On a table next to the couch was some framed photos of a child, a girl of about six. The quality was sharp, meaning they couldn't have been taken that long ago; they were not old photos of a little sister that was now close to his age.

"Sunna", Tobirama said. "My daughter."

I sat up on my elbows, looking at him. He did not avoid my eyes; he had nothing to hide. Nothing he was ashamed of. Somewhere deep down, I admired that. Or I would have, if I hadn't been blinded by white-hot rage.

"Your what?!" I breathed.

"My daughter", Tobirama said.

"What, like, your goddaughter?" I asked which was completely unnecessary because I knew it wasn't.

"No", Tobirama said. "My daughter. My biological daughter. Have her every other weekend, every other Christmas and three weeks each summer." Tobirama couldn't hide the joy in his voice; this was not an inconvenience. His daughter was not an inconvenience. She was not something he dealt with. He loved her with all his heart. She came first to him, and always would.

"And you didn't think once to tell me?" I asked.

"It was never brought up. Should I have just said 'Oh, and by the way, I have a daughter?'"

"Well, yes!" I said, and Tobirama backed off. I saw his erection was still searching. Most men would've softened by now. Not Tobirama, though. He was a very sexual being. Sometimes, his sexuality seemed to be a separate entity from the rest of him. Like now.

"I don't have any obligation to tell you."

I felt my blood starting to boil in a way it hadn't done in a long, long time.

"You do! Oh, God, Tobirama, how can you be so fucking clueless?" He looked like he genuinely didn't understand, which infuriated me even more. "You had no obligation when we were fuckbuddies! But we have talked about a relationship now! You, me, Hashi..." He looked at me now, and I could see his mind working to try and find his own opinion in the matter. "When you said you wanted us all in the same relationship, did you ever think to consider telling us that you have someone else's child?" The way I said 'someone else's child' made him jerk; he hadn't considered this. "What if this is not just fun and games for me? For Hashi? What if we dream about something bigger? A family!? And we desire for you to have that experience with us for the first time?!" 

I knew I was raising my voice; I was so angry. What if a year had passed and we hadn't known? If we had wasted our time? I knew that about myself; I couldn't open up my life for a child that wasn't mine. What about Hashi?

"Then it's your obligation to tell me first", Tobirama said darkly, his voice as hard as his dick.

"Don't be an idiot", I said. I was aware of the fact that he was, in fact, still my boss, but in that moment he was my lover.

And that lover had broken my heart.

I realised what I was feeling was two things; insane jealousy and the knowledge that I could never, ever be with him now I knew.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Talking to you about starting a family before we've even started dating properly? It's not how you do it."

I saw on his face that he realised it was, in fact, not very realistic to expect that of me.

He was quiet for a long time. Then, he spoke.

"I have been patient with you, Madara", he said and for one brief, happy moment I thought he would give me a kinky punishment as he talked about patience. My brain, however, soon snapped me back to reality. "I have been kind when you have not. Backed you up. Apologised for mistakes I've made. But I won't let you have this. I won't let you make me feel guilty about my child."

It was the frustration that did it. The frustration that he didn't understand what I was angry about wasn't that he had a child, but that he hadn't told me. Hadn't told us. But also the intense jealousy that this man had a family, without me. 

And the fright of living without him.

I stood up, slowly backed away.

Then, I took a vase from a bookshelf, lifted it over my head and threw it against the wall right behind Tobirama.

He covered his head and ducked as the piece broke into a million pieces as the same time as our souls.

"How dare you?!" I screamed; I was out of control. "How dare you?! I don't give a fuck about me but did you ever consider Hashi? He's so fucking innocent! How dare you!!"

He both knew I was using Hashi as leverage, that it was, in fact, me who was hurt but I didn't care.

I took a mirror from the wall and threw that as well. I took the photos of Sunna and started throwing them as well, knowing I crossed a line and hating myself for it but I didn't care, convinced myself I didn't care, tried to convince myself I didn't care.

Suddenly, I felt Tobirama grabbing my wrists. He was frightfully strong, much, much more so than me.

"Don't touch me!!" I screamed and my voice was drenched in tears. He immediately released me. At that moment, I had no idea what went through the man's head. "You coward!! You fucking coward!!"

I turned to leave.

The last thing I saw was a streak of blood in his cheek where a broken piece of the vase had cut it, hardly missing his eye, his ashen skin...

And his wobbling underlip glossy from tears that had fallen from his eyes.