i

You know,
You don't wake up to yourself in the hospital then, wow, figure out your dead.
Well, I guess Im not dead yet cause my heart is still beating. 

It won't be long until the others come.

By others I mean, my friends, Cat, Robbie, Andre and, my beloved boyfriend, Beck, and somewhat, Tori.

My heartbeat is still steady. Meaning, I will probably survive this. I mean, I tried committing suicide cause I was, you know, having... mixed feelings? Hopefully, that'll explain something, but I won't dream of coming back. When I did it, I didn't think. I just did it. Not knowing how everyone will feel. How would they react?

Cat: thinking it's a dream, devasted, on the floor sobbing.
Tori: probably guilty, shocked, devasted.
Andre: shocked, devasted.
Robbie: on the floor sobbing, and weeping, with Cat, devasted.

And most of all, Beck. You'd think I'd know.

Beck: 

Just a cleared blank. Like a new canvas and I'd be the blue canvas.

Most questions are;
"Why?"
Concerned about why I did it.

And the note.
The note simply read:

To the awful people reading this,

Once you read this, I, Jade West will no longer be living. Thanks to the jagged little pills I swallowed.

I feel sick. Sick of everyone. I don't give a chiz about how I feel anymore.
You the people are wondering why. Rather not say, rather be dead and have you wonder. 

Wouldn't be a surprise.

Often I'm upset,

I put piercings and put streaks in my hair, to make you stare.

I'll figure out a way to get myself in a happier position.

I just wanna fall asleep and never wake up.

My eyes will go dark after this period.

I don't know what I am anymore.

I'm just a shipwreck.

Time goes slowly when you wanna die.

A person.
But strangely he feels at home in this place.

Wazzed up my whole life. 6570 days wasted.

Sorry if I wasted your time by,
- dating you,
- being your "best friend",
- being your crush,
- making your life miserable,
- just being me.

Ingenuously,

𝓙𝓪𝓭𝓮 𝓦𝓮𝓼𝓽

That was the worst thing I've ever written.

And the thing is it's the last.

Wow, Jade, didnt know you'd make your last letter the worst thing ever. But I guess it's reasonable as I am the worst thing ever.

Even the writing for 𝒥𝒶𝒹𝑒 𝒲𝑒𝓈𝓉. I didn't bother putting my full name.

Like,
The wristband on my arm just says my full name.
The best way possible—

ᴡᴇsᴛ, ᴊᴀᴅᴇʏʟɴ

What's up with the "the"'s and italics?

Better.

No back to italics makes me more a narrator as I'm a writer so—Yeah.

I could've found a way out of this.
I thought I did find a way.
But it never went away.

This is pretty boring.

Want the others to come.

I might as well sit down.

I took a seat.

I will also narrate my afterlife and others' life.
I can hear everyone's feelings.
I feel like an omniscient author.

I look at the television.

First heading,
Teenage Suicide—

Well, what a great way to start my afterlife.

9:07

Just the time.

As Beck, Cat, Robbie enter the room missing Tori and Andre.
I wonder...

Except, Andre walks in just in time.

Tori doesn't wanna see her tormenter on her death bed because she's celebrating.
Wonderful.

"Are you guys her family?" The nurse, I assume, said.

Who would she be if she would just be wearing scrubs and a clipboard?
She doesn't have a coat.
Not saying nurses' don't have labcoats, or whatever.

"Not exactly," Beck forced smile.
"Visting hours are over, her only family is allowed."

"We are her family!" Cat shouted.

I've personally never heard her shout like that.

Cat broke down in tears, wow.

"I—I guess I can allow you guys to see her since I haven't seen any of her 'family' here."

I got up before Beck could've sat on me.

He put his chair up close to,  dead body, me.

"Oh... Jade," He ran his fingers through my hair. Implementing a kiss on my forehead.
He was wearing a key and he hadn't been able to open my locket.

I hate using my/me since I'm here and that's me, but as a narrator, I should be using her.
Don't really care.

And just before anybody gets confused where my letter went.

It's in the locket.
Well, now I can't wait.

It's like watching a movie.

He touched his necklace—or how he likes it—jewelry on him. The "J".

The doctor walked in. I'm assuming again.

"You're her family?" The doctor asked glancing at Andre.

The doctor then nodded. "You guys look familiar—wait, you kids are the ones who made me do the flatline with the puppet." Robbie looked at them as they nodded instead of looking at Robbie. "Well, you guys should say your goodbyes."

"Goodbyes?!" Robbie yelled confused.
"Yeah what do you mean by 'goodbyes'?" Asked Andre.

"Well... We don't think she'll make it." The doctor looked down. Tears started forming in Beck and Andre's eyes. While that happened, Robbie started wincing and Cat started sobbing while coughing. Robbie, as said, fell on the floor and weeping while Cat cried loudly. Beck put his head on my chest. 

His eyes wet my, white and polka dot, hospital gown. 

Andre didn't even wanna look at this moment.
Cat and Robbie got up and hugged Jade's, cOuGH my, legs.
Andre turned and whispered a "goodbye".

"I don't wanna say goodbye—maybe she'll survive." Cat crossed her arms as she comforted herself. Robbie looked at her and shooked his head. "What?"
"Maybe we should say our goodbyes just in case." Beck brought his head up and his eyes were filled with water.
"Goodbye..." Robbie got up and held her hand.
"Bye," Andre walked over and knelt down next to my body.
Beck had stood up and kissed my forehead, not sure they heard him say goodbye.

For a second they looked at Cat.

"You want to sit by her?" Beck asked her. She nodded.

"....Bye..." she said in a strained voice.

At that moment, Tori walked in, when she was about to ramble about what happened and an excuse was they didn't hear a beep.

Just a complete flatline.

Damn, Tori.

. . .

At the next moment, Cat screamed, really, loud the medics came in and, so as, my father walked in, Mr. West.

The medics rolled my body to a 'private' room.

I decide to stay here just to watch what'd they do.

Beck walked out of the room.

Andre was comforting Robbie and Cat.

I saw Tori walk out and follow Beck. 
Why not follow them?
I mean hopefully, Tori doesn't think I'm dead she can steal my boyfriend—are we even titled like that anymore?

"Hey," Tori said in a quiet voice.
"Yeah, hi." His voice sounded with a periodt like he ended his whole conversation with Tori.
"Hey I know this is rough, but they're probably taking her to surgery,"

It seemed like that sentence got on Beck's nerves.

"Tori! Can't you see why I am angry? She didn't even tell me how she felt. Now I can't help since she's dead!" he sat down on one of the waiting room chairs.
"Maybe not dead..." she said. "—not helping..."
There was dead silence.

As Mr. West walked in. "May I speak with you?" my father, had said to Beck. Beck nodded and got up.

Instead of going, I went and sat next to Tori.
"Wow."
I said.

"I know right, wow," she said.

Wait, ew, she can hear me. I got up and strolled over to Cat.

"My best friend is gone!" she started weeping.
"I'm sorry she's gone..." the nurse said.

Then I guess it's official.

I'm dead.

And I'm not kidding.

Sorry kids.

A/N: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

i'm sorry!!!omg like sorry she's dead.
this is my first victorious book/bade book. (includes bade :)