okay so warning i have no idea if this leaves plot holes and stuff. i havent wrote something in like 4 months and this was made like 4 months ago. will have spelling mistakes. i'm thinking of getting into this book and actually planning it. this is a filler for now?
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Earlier this morning, I had just tied my scarlet blood shoelaces around my ankle-high boots.

Scarlet red.

Jade called it a blood red. She spoke fondly about the color "blood." She didn't like many things, aside from, bunnies, Beck, and scissors.

But she loved roses. She said it accentuates the color, gives it meaning, gives it a moment to go like - "hey, that color looks like it belonged on a rose."

I bought new shoes and spent dusk 'till dawn embroidering by hand, a rose.

The rose had more meaning.

+

Not long after meeting those two jerks, Jade and I started walking to the parking lot. It was around after midnight. Jade came walking, she lived up in the high hills. She walked about a few miles to arrive here.

"You don't have a license." she furrowed a brow glancing at the car. "I have a permit," I grinned. 

She looked towards me, brought her head up. "You're only allowed to drive from 6:00 AM 'til 10:00 PM after three months - " her fingers traced the 2007 SUV. " - how do you have a car?" she asked.

"Ehh... Trina dropped me off said she was going to meet - people." I bit my lip. 

Jade paused glancing at the car, forwarding to me. "So - " she put on a smirk. "hop on." As we would be leaving Trina to find another way home.

Jade liked anything that caused trouble to others, including herself.

+

My parents asked me why I had been so obsessed with her this year. As she always made fun of me and I continued to suffer unless I understood what she had bee experiencing. I've been studying her life, not in a creepy way, I was finding her more human than monster. 

Not monster as how corrupt she was, it was how people described her.
Monsters are frightening. Frightening she was, indeed.

I decided to do this a memoir, it was obvious this was gonna happen or she would try to make it happen. As a way to understand her, it may or may not be published. Used as a scholarship it has a use for. But she mustn't be remembered as an offender, more as a for her dysphoria and how the cause of it may lead to agony and pain.

It strains a person. Even more the nuisance of people. People thought it was a mental disorder, but there is more behind that door. The door opened her true self. 

But this was a great fall we've ever seen from one point of view, but not hers.

+

Silence. It's never been so loud. I look at her, she has her hand on the wheel. Her left hand tapping the wheel, though there was no sound. The other, gripping tightly. A few weeks ago she crashed her car out of pity. Or suicide. My father, a cop, said it was a failed suicide attempt. But as she dug her fingers into the fabric part, I asked.

"Did you try attempting it?" I asked. My back pressed upon the co-pilot seat. My hand fell to the side of the seat and held on. "Try what?"

"Uhmm..." - I stuttered, turning my head towards her. "like it."
Emphasizing on it.

"That doesn't make it clearer," she replied. Taking a sharp turn heading up a slope, she tensed up. After that turn, her shoulder blades dropped in a sign of relief. 

"Suicide."

"When?" She questioned. I felt a frog on my throat asking about suicide. I never felt comfortable with that subject. "When you crashed your car," 

"And about it?"

"W-why did you crash your car." I stuttered.

"I saw lovely red roses - " she retorted. " - in a garden. Perhaps I thought I was able to get them on a steep hill." She glanced at Tori giving her a smug look. "Oh," I looked down at my hands. "So it was an--"

"Accident?" she brought her head forward catching glimpses of the dark road. "No, I personally did it not to die, but I just wanted to crash it. There was no explanation, I just did it. Maybe to get my father mad - but that's really what happened." 
Her voice softened, as well as her look.

"So every story, and the one you told me before, is fake?"

"Pretty much," she nodded. " but I do love roses."

"Why?" I soon regretted asking, she didn't enjoy people asking her questions. Instead of getting irritated at me for such queries, she responded. "Before my aunt died, last year, ever time I visited her in a remote part of Hollywood, she had a lovely vineyard. She plucked out grapes to make wine for a wine company she worked for." Her green eyes glistened. "Wait."

I gave her a look of confusion. "What?"

"Why am I telling you?"

She gazed at me. Emotionless.
She wasn't angry, she looked back at the road. 

"Can you continue the story?" I pleaded. I needed to understand her better. After tonight, I thought I could know her better. "Wow, Tori, you're so needy. Anyways why would you want to know?"

"I - possibly I would like to understand you better. Maybe I can relate to you in some way." I fixed my posture and glimpsed at her. I was confident in myself, I didn't want her to laugh at me for being shy to ask her.

She told me no. Not a harsh one she would throw at Cat or Robbie, even Beck at times. A gentle one. 

We continued waiting in the car. Quiet as it was at the beginning, but more comfortable. I sat there. My elbow rested near the button to open the window was. My head clasped against my palm. Looking at the tall trees, road, and streetlights. I close my eyes.

. . .

I felt a light tap on my shoulder. My eyes fluttered, I turn to focus on her. "Hi?" I asked, rubbing my eyelids. "We're here, so get out." She said.

"This isn't your car,"

"I'll walk from here." She said, passing me the keys and opened the door. "you should stay." Getting out of the car, turning towards me, she replied. "Why would I do that?"

"Stay here a 'till morning then you can leave." I intertwined my fingers. 

"Your parents aren't going to approve of me staying here." She put her bag over her shoulder.

"They're not here,"

"Why does it seemed your parents are never here." She scoffed.

I chuckled and simply replied, "They simply can't stand Trina."

+

Since that day, I had developed strange feelings for her. I was afraid but in love. I knew Beck missed her. Jade missed him. They were meant for each other. I couldn't get in between. Simply when Beck admitted he wanted her back.
I helped him.
They were happier or so I thought.

I searched for anyone with Jade's last name. Finding out it just led to loose ends. We never really heard of her mother. Her parents were divorced and her mother came a few times back to L.A.
I had asked Cat, being her best friend, for some clues.

Jade's mother was a broadway veteran and painted a lot. Finding that there was a full catalog of her artwork. I built it up to her mother's maiden name, Twers.

After some intense Facebook stalking, I found out her aunt owned an expensive vineyard in the more peaceful part of California. She had owned a wealthy wine company. 

Anyone related to Jade was successful, pressure.

At that point, there was just a dead end. All I could point were the vineyard. Basically what most of what Jade told me.

-

It was senior year, I gave up on the subject, Beck and Jade got together, everything pretty much went back to normal.

I share the writing class as Jade. I was a decent writer. Jade was amazing at it. She was amazing at almost everything, writing, drawing, acting, photography, and singing. A quintuple, aside from manipulation.

Then again the subject was brought up, roses.

We were assigned to make a poet, which was a large amount of our grade. What I learned was, Jade never liked poetry. She had some bad rap to it. As nosy as I was getting already, I left it aside.

It was the day of the due date. I made a poem about my grandmother. But Jade hadn't performed it yet. Most of the school was on a field trip to New York. Jade's father wouldn't let her go on any field trip. My parents were away, and so was Trina on the trip. I have left the house myself for a couple of days, which I gladly enjoyed. I personally found no interest in going.

Since most of the teachers went on that trip, substitutes were mostly not qualified or the school board didn't have enough. We mainly stayed at the Asphalt Cafe or Black Box Theater. There were only a couple of kids who didn't go, including Jade and I, Burf, Robbie, and a couple of students. Robbie was absent most of them, he went camping for a couple of days. Came back with mosquito stings. Being mainly the only students, we were excused to go to the library or do anything of our unfinished work. 

Our poetry teacher was here. There were only 4 students in the class. Jade was called. She starting reading her poem.

Jade went up, the classroom filled with four-five people. Empty-handed. She sighed. Performing her poem. She talked about a vineyard. Supposedly the one she had explained to me around a year ago. Roses. Oh, roses... Her aunt.

It was right after I confronted her, I needed to know more about her.
I went up to her locker. "Hey, Jade!" I waved leaning onto the locker next to hers.
"Need anything?" she grabbed a couple of notebooks while asked confusingly.
"Doing anything after school?"
"Why?" she asked and glared at me.
I bit my lip. "You wanna go to a fair?"

She continued to gaze at me harshly. "Fine." Jade rolled her eyes. "I'll pick you up,"

"Alrighty," I smiled.

. . .

"That was not scary!" I jokingly said and nudged her. "I didn't say it was - " Jade laughed back. " - thanks for asking me to get out." she smiled sympathetically. We sat down at a table. "It's fine, anyways no ones really here to hang out with,"
"Yeah..." she nodded and looked to her side. "You're not that bad Tori," she mumbled. I smiled, I didn't wanna push her to say it louder. "Well, I'm just determined. I know not everyone will like me, but you'll see we are similar in many ways."

"Yeah," she chuckled.

"You wanna go eat somewhere else later?"

"It's pretty dark out," she responded.

"It's only seven pm, I don't see anything wrong with eating something." I looked around. "Anyways, the food here is gross," I was told by Cat the Jade absolutely hated junk food and greasy food. She'd prefer fancy restaurants and more exquisite places.

"I know a place..." she smiled.

We would arrive at a building. She'd get out of the car. "This isn't a restaurant," I would close the car door.

"No, but it's a nice place to see the sunset... I guess." She placed her hands on her hips. "What's this place?"
"A vineyard."
I looked at her surprisingly. "Closed down a while ago, so I've heard."

"They still produce wine here,"

"Are you hungry?" she asked. "I'm not,"

"I am a little - " she glared at me. " - but that can wait..."

We would enter the small building. "I think you asked about this place around a year ago..."
I'd start to feel red. "I did?"

"Yeah, you did,"

+

She would explain to me why she had been obsessed with red for a long time, as still is/was. Rose was a huge part of her life, when her aunt was alive

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didnt get much done just enjoy what i wrote down a while ago lol