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          yoongi sat next to a sleeping hoseok, the other members spread around everywhere the park enjoying themselves, small leaves falling on his face then slide down.

"hyung?" hoseok whispered and rubbed his eyes, a small smile forming on his lips making him smile too.

"arent you going to play with the others? i know i agreed on going out but im just tired—" yoongi laughed making hoseok stop mid sentence and gave him a confused look

"no, its okay. sometimes, you need to just sit and stay quiet, letting everything sink in and appreciate every little thing." yoongi looked at the maknae line, chasing each other then laughing afterwards.

but what he did not notice was the look in hoseok's eyes, the admiration—the love, the unspoken words and yoongi's own reflection because hes the only thing his eyes ever focused on.

"yoongi?" hoseok softly called out for him, placing his head on his shoulder making yoongi freeze and go stiff but slowly relaxed and fixed his posture so that hoseok wouldnt feel uncomfortable

"what is it?" hoseok laced his arm on yoongis and snuggled closer to him "you're nice to cuddle with" he laughed making yoongi laugh nervously because hes afraid of his racing heartbeat and the possibility of hoseok hearing it.

"thank you for being there for me, hyung. for keeping up with my shit, for everything. i love you hyung" yoongi's heart skipped a beat upon hearing that i love you but he knows it was the kind of love hoseok gives to everybody.

not losing his chance, not caring wether they both have different meanings, yoongi whispered "i love you too" and chuckled, brought hoseok closer to him and closed his eyes.

yoongi wants to stay like this, hoseok in his arms with their hearts beating and breaths uneven, yoongi wants to show hoseok how important he is, how its okay to feel selfish once in a while, how he should appreciate himself more.

hoseok looked at his hyung, his dark circles, and slowly thinning face. hoseok wants to save this person, he wants this person to know that hes worth it, that hes not a flaw in the system, that hoseok loves this person so much.

but because of these wishes, both didn't know that it was slowly destroying them, bit by bit, piece by piece.

"find someone who'll love you unconditionally okay?" yoongi felt heartbroken as the words left his mouth, hoseok confused and listening, wondering why he brought this up "find someone who'll make you see all the good things in life, who'll look at you and you'll see your own reflection on their eyes....just an advice. i want the best for you. you're beautiful inside and out okay?" yoongi looked at hoseok—who was inches away from his face may i add—with a small smile

"ah really hyung? i have someone in mind" hoseok replied

yoongis face sadden for a moment but then quickly brought his small smile back "really? who is this person?"

hoseok leaned his forehead against yoongi's "thats a secret" he laughed and leaned back because god forbid what will happen if hoseok will actually confess right there, hes afraid losing yoongi.

"fine but now, lets go enjoy this day shall we?" yoongi stood up and walked towards the bathroom, and there he cried for who knows long, leaving hoseok with words that are sat on the tip of his tongue wanting to come out, sat on the bench, yoongi's warmth not leaving the side of his body.

—

"yoongi, i love you." hoseok looks at yoongi's body inside the coffin, chest clenching and unclenching due to the pain he feels "i'm sorry for not telling it sooner. maybe if i did i couldve saved you. maybe if i did, you arent in that cramped up coffin."

he touched the glass, hoping he could cup yoongi's face and look him in the eyes, tell him what he want to for a long time, save him, love him.

"yoongi hyung, you're the one who brought color to my life, you made me see beauty, you made me feel loved, you're the only one in my heart. how can you leave like this?" hoseok cried and hugged the coffin, hands barely reaching the other end, hoping to get yoongi out and hug him one last time.

one last time.

hoseok can wish. but he knows well that a wish is that it'll ever be.

now hes left with nothing but the memories of yoongi, him smiling, his voice, his imperfections, his self composed songs. and unaware, yoongi left every piece of his heart and feelings to hoseok. but hoseok knows that one day—

one day, he'll forget all of these but the pain will remain the same. that he'll forget all of these but the wishes will remain the same. that he'll forget all of these but the way he smile and lit up the whole room will never be the same.

because he poured every ounce of self love, happiness, positivity and everything inbetween to yoongi.

—

he left me

how can you say that?

he just disappeared without a trace

did he say goodbye?

he didnt even say goodbye

then that means he never did leave at the first place.

do you think he'll do so now? can he? will he?

i know he will.

hyung?

yes?

i love you.

yoongi silently cried alongside hoseok—who was uncontrollably sobbing—because he knows too well that its useless on replying to him when hoseok cant even hear him.

hoseok falls down to his knees in front of yoongi's grave, making yoongi instinctively place his ghostly light and pale of a hand on hoseok's shoulders—that he knows he wont even feel but heck he missed this person so much and thats the least of his worries—and slowly crouched down to hoseok's level so that he could hug him.

"it has been 5 years since you left me—us. all of us have moved on but the memories and pain you inflicted and left us still remains—atleast mine remains fresh. all the wounds, conversations, advices, messages, everything feels like it has only happened yesterday."

i slapped the back of his head but then it just slip past through him making me sigh and cry harder "stupid, i didnt die just for you to go back to your old self."

"hyung, y'know what? i'm better than before."

really? elaborate

"i have feelings for this girl i met at our tour—shes nice, she loves me and im on the process of loving her too but then i've only realized just now that the reason why i fell for her is because she reminds me of you." hoseok cried harder upon mentioning yoongi.

"wahhh hyung whyd you have to leave me here? hyung i love you so so much. im sorry for not saying it sooner"

"hoseok, no, its okay."

"hyung i love you"

"i love you too"

"hyung! i fucking love you im sorry im so fucking sorry"

"i love you so fucking much hoseok dont do this, move on, fall in love with someone new, you deserve the whole world hoseok dont do this!." yoongi now frustratedly screamed, hoping for hoseok to hear him but he knows its no use.

both of them stayed silent except for their cries and frustration that they both have bottled up for a long time. But sadly, the day had to end and hoseok had to return. his knees felt numb along with his heart, carrying both his and yoongi's feelings.

he gave yoongi's grave one last look, saying, "i will always love you yoongi, forever." before turning his back and leave yoongi there, a mess.

but yoongi managed to smile and shout on the top of his lungs with tears still flowing down his eyes "hoseok! i love you! take care of yourself! i'll always be looking out for you!"

and once he lost sight of hoseok, he whispered the word he failed to say before leaving, with a big smile plastered on his face,

"goodbye."

-

[thank you.

thank you for the massive amount of reads, love and support that this book received, i love each and every single one of you for supporting and enjoying(?) this book.

this is the very end of one day *tears up*, this is it's last chapter. i dont see myself in the near future on making a sequel for this, so i'm sorry if you really want to see more of them.

that's all! this is your author's last words before officially closing/ending this book for good. this book may or may not have good reviews but hey everybody has its ups and downs and those up and downs helped me to make this book grow to as it is now♡.

once again, thank you! i love every single one of you ♡