*:･ﾟ♡ * .ೃ࿔ ✧ ✧ .ೃ࿔ * ♡･ﾟ:*
incorrect quotes for —
MARVEL
in my 'god is a woman' universe
*:･ﾟ♡ * .ೃ࿔ ✧ ✧ .ೃ࿔ * ♡･ﾟ:*

*:･ﾟ♡ * .ೃ࿔ ✧ AGENT PARRISH ✧ .ೃ࿔ * ♡･ﾟ:*

NATASHA: Do you want to tell me how you crashed the car?

EVELYN: Well, we were driving, and there was this deer in the middle of the road that Steve couldn't see, so I shouted, "Steve, deer!"

STEVE:

EVELYN: Do you want to tell her what your response was?

STEVE: "Yes, Honey?"

✧

EVELYN: Hey, do you think I could fit fifteen marshmallows in my mouth?

STEVE: You're a hazard to society.

ELIJAH: And a coward. Do twenty.

✧

TONY: Evelyn, there you are. You speak Spanish, right?

EVELYN: Yeah...why?

TONY: Splendid! It's Shakira night at the karaoke bar, and Elijah and I are sick of coming in second

EVELYN:

TONY:

EVELYN: I'll get my keys

✧

EVELYN: I SAID I WANTED MCDONALD'S

TONY: Yeah, and I bought you McDonald's

EVELYN: I MEANT A BIG MAC OR SOMETHING, NOT THE ENTIRE COMPANY!

✧

EVELYN, pointing at the Black Order: TONY! WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY?

TONY, handing them cups of coffee: What? They said, "Take me to your leader."

EVELYN: SO YOU BROUGHT THEM TO ME?

TONY: Well, you are our leader

✧

[At Loki's funeral]

EVELYN: Can I have a moment alone with him?

EVELYN, to Loki: Alright, listen fucker. I know you're not actually dead

LOKI, opening his eyes: Yeah, NO SHIT

✧

*:･ﾟ♡ * .ೃ࿔ ✧ RIVERS AND ROADS ✧ .ೃ࿔ * ♡･ﾟ:*

GAIA: You remind me of the ocean

DRUIG: Because I'm deep and mysterious?

GAIA: No, because you're salty, and you scare people

✧

DRUIG, under his breath: Future wife say pardon

GAIA: Pardon?

DRUIG: [screeches internally]

✧

GAIA: :(

GILGAMESH: CODE RED! I REPEAT, CODE RED!

DRUIG: YOU GET HER SNACKS. I'LL FIND HER FAVOURITE PLANTS

PHASTOS: GOT IT

MAKKARI: FASTER, THIS IS NOT A DRILL

GILGAMESH: [tries to make Gaia laugh]

AJAK: [wraps a blanket around Gaia]

ETERNALS, cuddling Gaia: Good work, guys

✧

GILGAMESH: And where have you been?

GAIA: Uhh, hanging out with Druig

DRUIG, swivelling around in his chair: Would you like to try that again?

GAIA, mumbling: I was outside talking to Ikaris

DRUIG AND GILGAMESH, softly: You feel sad again? Come here, Gaia. Hugs

✧

* .ೃ࿔ ✧ HAPPINESS IS A BUTTERFLY ✧ .ೃ࿔ *

BUCKY: I'm not going to fight with you!

ANGELINA: Why, because I'm a woman?

BUCKY: No, because you're scary

ANGELINA: Oh, alright

✧

BUCKY, unable to sleep: Angel, what time is it?

ANGELINA, also awake: I don't know, hand me that recorder

ANGELINA: [plays the recorder]

SAM: Who the fuCK IS PLAYING THE RECORDER AT 2AM?!!?!??

ANGELINA: It's 2am

✧

*:･ﾟ♡ * .ೃ࿔ ✧ HALLEY'S COMET ✧ .ೃ࿔ * ♡･ﾟ:*

ALINA: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD BETRAY ME LIKE THIS!

SHANG-CHI: Alina, baby, I'm sorry—

ALINA: NO! YOU CAN'T JUST APOLOGISE FOR THAT!

KUO, walking in: What are they arguing about?

KATY: Shaun ate Alina's waffles

✧

ALINA: Okay, code names

ALINA: I'm Eagle One

ALINA: Shang-Chi is "Been There Done That"

ALINA: Xialing is "Currently Doing That"

ALINA: Kuo is "If I Had to Pick a Dark Side"

ALINA: And Katy is...Eagle Two

KATY: Oh, thank god

✧

ALINA, to Shang-Chi: You know, you stay inside too often. You should go out and get some sun

SHANG-CHI: [stares at Alina]

ALINA: Don't you dare

SHANG-CHI: [walks up to Alina]

ALINA: Xu Shang-Chi, I am warning you!

SHANG-CHI: [hugs Alina]

SHANG-CHI: Is that enough sun for you?

✧

*:･ﾟ♡ * .ೃ࿔ ✧ TWO GHOSTS ✧ .ೃ࿔ * ♡･ﾟ:*

ANDROMEDA: I wish I could block people in real life

MOBIUS: Restraining order

LOKI: Murder

✧

MOBIUS: I just want to hear those three little words

ANDROMEDA: I love you

MOBIUS: Try again

ANDROMEDA, grumbling: I will behave

✧

EVELYN: Quick, name three things you love about me

STEVE: [brings up a one-hundred-slide presentation]

LOKI: [watches from afar]

LOKI, turning to Andromeda: Quick, name three things you love about me

ANDROMEDA: Bold of you to assume I even like you

✧

ANDROMEDA: Loki, tell a joke

LOKI: Why can't dinosaurs clap?

ANDROMEDA: Lol, why?

LOKI: Because they're all dead

ANDROMEDA:

MOBIUS:

ANDROMEDA: Mobius, tell a joke

✧

RAVONNA: Any last words?

ANDROMEDA: Do you think I'm cute? Be honest

✧

*:･ﾟ♡ * .ೃ࿔ ✧ OCEAN EYES ✧ .ೃ࿔ * ♡･ﾟ:*

PETER: Please, no, I love you

CORDELIA: I'm sorry. I have to

PETER: Please, I'm begging you. After all we've been through

CORDELIA: I'm sorry

CORDELIA: [places a +4 card down]

CORDELIA: Uno

✧

MJ, to Cordelia: For someone who's 70% water and an Atlantian, you don't look very refreshing today

NED: BURRRRRRRRRRRRN

CORDELIA: Water cannot be burned

MJ:

NED: EVAPORAAAAATE

✧

*:･ﾟ♡ * .ೃ࿔ ✧ LOVE AFTER DEATH ✧ .ೃ࿔ * ♡･ﾟ:*

THANATOS: Goodnight moon

THANATOS: Goodnight tree

THANATOS: Goodnight ghosts only I can see

JUNIPER: Haha nice rhyme—wAIT

*:･ﾟ♡ * .ೃ࿔ ✧ ✧ .ೃ࿔ * ♡･ﾟ:*

AUTHORS NOTE
I would like to point out that I do not own the little quotes/text up above. I found them on Pinterest and Tumblr. I did, however, change some of them to fit my characters and my books so that part goes to me.

I love reading incorrect quotes on Pinterest! They always make me laugh and I thought it'd be epic if I did my own for my characters :)

Pheebs/-rosepetal