CHAPTER 13

   Asserting Boundaries

Only when I reached home, I noticed that my mothers slippers were promptly placed next to the shoe rack, which meant she was back from work. I mentally wondered if I tossed the leftovers for lunch into the refrigerator and left the house clean before leaving. Otherwise that would be the first  thing that she will condemn me for before I even step inside. Before I could reach out and knock, I noticed one single eye observing me from the peephole.

My mother didn't know that you could make out when people stare at you from a keyhole so she continued to do so, assuming that she was getting access to some exclusive juicy secrets from my life in that one moment. I removed my sandals and tossed them into the rack and waited without directly challenging her gaze.

I let this go on because I'd seen my mother spying on my sister during college, believing that our young hormones would go out of control and we might do something female-hormone ridden that could be frowned upon by society.

Today I was in no mood for this and swished past her into the bedroom.

"Where are you disappearing off huh? Sit here, what happened in class? Learnt well?"

I peered back at her face, undecidedly. I was upset and I wanted time to myself, but if I told her that, she wouldn't have it.

'What do you have at this age to get upset?'  She would demand as the very concept of youngsters feeling things was preposterous.

I chose my words carefully, "I'll just change my clothes and I'll-I'll come, I'll come."

Despite this frail surety I had offered, she narrowed her eyes at me, "No, you come now."

I sensed a buzz-like irritation in my head as I pulled my guitar off my shoulders and deposited it on my bed.

"Always hiding in your room!" She added and I said nothing, plopping down next to her.

"Then?"

"What happened today?" she enquired, slapping my back like I was her buddy.

"Nothing maa--"

"Share with me, think of me as your friend."

"We just had music therapy and we just practised some new compositions..."

"And then?"

"Thats it, inkemi?"

This was very normal behaviour from my mother but the prodding was irritating me to no end at the moment. Why couldn't I have some space for a few moments?

"Play the new songs for me then."

I scoffed, getting up "Maa, please. Some other time."

"Arey, what is this. I pay for your music classes but I'm not even allowed to listen to you play now?"

"You know I didn't mean that, I said I'll play later," I said but she still tugged at my hand to make me sit next to her.

I pulled my hands away from her, making her expression flicker. This was the first time that I'd challenged her instead of my usual subdued obedience. Her eyebrows furrowed and she drew in a breath.

Oh, here it comes!

"You young people have no respect for anyone elder to you. During our days we used to walk to school in the heat with some flimsy sandals and will listen to--"

I stalked off into the bedroom and wanted nothing but to shut the door behind me therefore effectively muting her voice but that would rile her up further. So I let it stay half-ajar, fumbling through my cupboard for a change of clothes.

After I freshened up, my mother instructed me to clean my room, enunciating a few taunts about our young generation here and there. My lack of response as I robotically folded my quilt and arranged my books wasn't deterring her.

But some fairy godmother caused the telephone to ring, demanding her attention, leaving me to be.

Her voice boomed cheerfully over the phone as she greeted her friend, cradling the receiver closer to her ear. I warily stepped into the living room, for a washcloth to dust my table. She pulled the mouthpiece away from her, " Go buy some Vermicelli now, quick."

This was something that I could thankfully fulfil happily. And the bonus was there would be peace and quiet for the next few minutes. When I was in school, I used to escape into my late grandparent's residence just to not face my mother's wrath and stay in hiding until she cooled down. Of course, my mother wouldn't cool down without making my ears bleed and delivering a few powerful blows to my backside. And my grandparents being cute, would try to block some of the incoming blows and my grandfather was almost indignant once when he'd received a startling blow to his arm mistakenly instead of me.

And I, who was well concealed behind him, tugged at his arm to take a look at the angry red mark, my eyes swelling with unshed tears. He shrugged it away, distracting me with the prospect of visiting the supermarket together- but it put an end to me seeking refuge from him in fear of my mother.

For the past few years, I was well-practised and chose to gape at her like a feeble-minded teenager who understood nothing. It infuriated her to no end and her expressions were simply gold as I would stand stiffly as each burning blow would be deposited on my body leaving angry red marks. And that method proved to be futile for a girl who refused to react but that was that.

I was going to be an adult now and if she still insisted on treating me the same, nothing would change from my side either.

I rounded the corner of the building, humming to myself while curiously regarding the starless sky and the trees dancing in the breeze. I saw two very familiar dark shadows behind the coconut trees. They were well concealed by the dark shadows of the late evening. I surreptitiously attempted to strain my ears to make out bits and pieces of the conversation. Mr Jha and Sylvia?

I knew Mrs Jha was visiting her hometown this week and I didn't expect this reunion in her absence.

It was clearly something privy to both of them which I had no connection to and didn't need to overhear but I tried to pull myself together and walk away which I couldn't. I remembered Kabir's grim expression as he firmly stated that his father could be having an extra-marital affair.

"No,--She is like that, it's not just because of--No, raa nothing is your fault--I should have..."

Inbetween hushed murmurs I could make out only bits and pieces which still made me believe that his tone was more of a protective elder brother's than an estranged lover's.

"We were meeting for the business partnering that day--Which--"

"John dropped me off and--Yah, but I wasn't--"

"She misunderstood and it became a big issue--I was trying to explain that its not--" The sound of his heavy sigh was unmistakable as I eagerly listened to the next few sentences while staring at the speck of dirt on my chappals.

YES! YES! Kabir is going to be so--

"She--It's been like that, she gets suspicious and then i cant seem to handle her outbursts  but she's not all this--I don't know what has happened in the past decade it's---She's saying things that make me worry for her--No, no ala kaadhu--"

"You know what happened that day--It was just Vikram who--What I'm saying--Drop this business idea now. Family is more important--I'll explain to her--"

"You don't get involved in--"

That's it! They were clean chits all this time! It is Mrs Jha who's cuckoo in the head, that's why she keeps staring at me also! What a comfort to us all!

Unthinkingly, my hands went up in silent victory, causing my money purse to fall off from my waist. The conversation between the duo ended abruptly as I sheepishly collected the coins that rolled out of my grip.

I saw two pairs of feet nearing me and I attempted to exercise my poor acting skills, glancing up at them in surprise, "Hi uncle, hi Sylvia, when did you come? David isn't with you?"

"What? Did you fall down?" she asked instead, helping me up and I dusted my pants as if I actually did, "I think I tripped but I didn't hit the ground thankfully."

"Are you going somewhere?" Uncle asked and I explained that I needed Vermicelli and evaded his offer of borrowing a packet from his house. After engaging in a few pleasantries, I slipped past them like an eel.

Spying was fun, it should be a recognized hobby in the future.