Chapter 6
Breezy days

Hectic.

I never thought that any event in my life would oblige me to use this particular adjective but days had become truly hectic.
Exams had already crept up to me before I realised it. On the other hand, my music master required us to squeeze some time for the band practice.
Traditionally, Kabir and I would SMS each other after we were done with each exam and kept marking it off the calendar.

Since I had to offer some content on my paper that was related to the subject at a minimum, I began to cram information into my head until I felt some dull throbbing in my temple that would require me to simultaneously massage my forehead and repeat the alkaline formulas ten times aloud.

Sanya and I would walk out of the exam with poker expressions on our faces, but we exchanged glances and could immediately relate to the turmoil behind the mask.

I remember studying by maths question paper, baffled by the ways of the world.

I held on to my sanity as I examined each question and realised that I didn't have the flimsiest idea of what I was supposed to do.

Yes, my mother will hang me on the clothesline when she learns about the results.

However, life goes on and I definitely wasn't one to dwell on my past miseries.

It was the eve of Summer and that explained the lingering presence of the sun at 6 in the evening. I was jogging back home joyously.

I could make out my mother under the shade of a lanky coconut tree. Maybe it was the peacock green saree that she wore so often that gave her away.

I was going to fling myself at her from behind and jolt her out of her reverie but she turned sideways and gave a full-on fake chuckle.

She was with Kabir's mother, I noticed.
I rolled my eyes. My mother somehow thought it was obligatory to laugh at friends' half baked jokes. I didn't hear what Lalitha auntie said but both her and I knew that her humour was in poor taste.

My steps faltered when I noticed Mrs D'Souza sitting against the wall, her legs crossed under her.

Her hair was tied up with a banana clip and fell in ringlets below her breasts. I thought that the mute pink chapstick suited her along with her simple bottle-green kurta and jeans.

I came forward and made my presence known, "Hello auntie." Followed by an awkward smile.

Mrs Sylvia D' Souza's eyes widened a fraction and she came forward and wrapped her arms around me. I stilled instinctively and then flashed a smile at the other two women until she released me.

She held me at arm's length and her silver bracelets jingled. "Look at you! You've become..."

...Like a sloth?

I waited patiently for her to find a nicer way to tell me that I gained some weight.

"You've just... Grown so much...!"
She sported a pleased smile."What are you studying now?"

"She just finished her 10th board exam," My mother answered for me.

"Oh? Good, good. My son is doing mechanical engineering, 2nd year. You know him right?"

"Ah, sort of," I said dryly and then attempted to mask the indifference in my tone.

"Exams are done?" Lalitha auntie asked. "We were just talking about visiting this place..."

Road trips. Since the Jhas bought a car, it became mandatory to take that car out every national holiday or vacation and simply roam around town for the sake of it.

I wasn't complaining or anything.

"You should also come.." My mother insisted to Mrs D'Souza who was magnanimously waving her hand gracefully.

"Come on, only now we can go around like this. When will you go then?"

Mrs D'Souza chuckled when my mother and her friend were kind of bullying her to join in.

"You're coming, Sylvie." Lalitha auntie finalised when she couldn't come up with a proper excuse.

Mrs D'Souza shrugged her shoulders, "It's really based on what he says."

My mother rolled her eyes, "As if," She muttered and Mrs Jha suppressed her smile.

I tugged at the pallu of my mother's saree to get her attention.

"Keys?"

She deposited the bunch of house keys in my hands and I exited because I had a performance tomorrow that I had to be practising for.

Not that it concerned me much, but Kabir had managed to (again) influence me with his cheesy dialogues.

If he was intending to treasure our performance, I had to make sure I was doing a decent job.

First, I cut my ragged, unpolished fingernails in the balcony because it will hinder my playing and will give me bruises for sure.

Then I picked up my ancient guitar despite my unwillingness. Master told us specifically that he didn't want any of us playing with notes otherwise chappals will be flying in our direction.

My memory wasn't that reliable so I copied some of the chords in a little piece of paper and stuffed it into the pocket of my guitar cover.

I let my sister in when she returned from college and sat back with my guitar.

Strumming the strings, I closed my eyes.

Feel your voice.

As I prepared to unleash my inner Beyoncé, I felt something sloppy on my skin.

My eyes flew open and I saw my sister towering over me with a ceramic bowl in her hand.

"Ew, what's this?"

"It's an Ubtan facemask," She stated as I took some off the goo and sniffed it suspiciously."You've tanned so much, I'm doing you a favour. I know tomorrow is your performance."

I cringed as I was attacked with more swabs of the yellowish mixture.

I put my guitar down, so much for practising.

"I feel itchy," I grumbled.

"It's the lemon. It's natural."

"Hmmph."

I heard the mechanical chirp of the doorbell and I flew to attend to it. "Is your kitty party over ma? Remember us?" I spoke and then I released the chain to the door.

I assumed it was my mother.

Saloni stood by the door with a tiffin box in her hand, "Er, my mother asked me to give this to you?"

"Another customer? Grab her!" My sister commanded from the kitchen and I followed suit.

"You're going to get the skin treatment of your life, Miss Jha," Siya said with an air of a professional.

"I am?"

"Yes, now relax and sit here. We'll start with cleansing your skin first..."

"Can I wash this off now?" I spoke between my teeth from the living room.

"Shush. Let it dry."

I sighed and slumped back in the desk.

The next day, as planned we met at the Institute in the morning for a rerun and reach BITS before noon. Siya pulled out a casual olive green blouse and plaited skirt for me to wear. As soon as my mother noticed the combo, she promptly wrapped a shawl around me which I discarded as soon as I hurried down the stairs and tossed it into my guitar pouch.

I sagged back with my guitar bag. My mother packed me to lunch but I knew that I might throw up out of sheer nervousness so I didn't touch the food.

The lights dimmed and I could make out the soft strains of music.
A constellation of lights plunged from the stage, in multiple colours, manipulating the entire vibe of the place.

A female anchor was onstage to introduce the first band but she spoke too fast for me to follow.

I caught the others' faces in the dark.
They were listening to the performance and didn't look nervous at all.

I cleared my throat.

Iamgoingtothrowup!

Iamgoingtothrowup!

"Want some mint?" David asked from behind me and I looked down at the packet in his hands.

"Thanks," I sighed.

"You're nervous?"

I considered this for a moment, chewing silently.

"Yeah. You guys might have to call the ambulance if I pass out onstage, okay?"

"Deal." He said.

He was grinning. I observed him. "Not your first time huh?"

"No, but I'm going to pass out too."

"You don't like you're scared."

"Oh, I am. I'm just good at masking it."

I let out a wisp of a chuckle and released my fingers that were clutching the arms of my chair. "Right."

The anchor's voice boomed off the walls as she proceeded to welcome another band onstage and beckoned them forward with her perfectly manicured index finger. If she was attempting to make them more nervous than they were, she was doing a pretty good job.

I held my peace for the next five minutes, chewing the inside of my cheek until a prompt called for us backstage.

"There is nothing to be nervous about, you all have practised well. We are not the best but we are okay.It is just your first performance." Master attempted to alight us with his bland honesty.

My guitar nestled comfortably on my knee, my fingers flew from chord to chord just to double-check my memory.

Backstage was buzzing with people and a girl happily stepped on my feet and I retracted it under my chair. The noise was making my ears buzz.

I am usually oblivious to buildings catching fire in my close vicinity and hence I failed to notice the little commotion my band-mates were creating opposite me until a precise moment when Master's scolding was interrupted by a sneeze.

Damn, his cold wasn't even allowing him to stay annoyed.

He blew his nose and continued to speak swiftly when David turned and caught my eye. He pushed his hair out of his eyes and made a beeline towards me.

That was my cue to voice my concern. "Is everything alright?"

He threw his hands up, "No! Did you see Kabir?"

"Uh, yes. He came backstage with us.."

"I thought the same thing, but he's not here. We can't find him!"

I half stood up and transferred the guitar to my other hand. "No!"

"We have to go up in a few minutes and he's gone! This sucks so bad!"

"It does." I agreed morosely."Did you check the uh,--"

"Mens' restroom? Yes. Every stall."

" I'm sure he is here somewhere. He doesn't usually do this...This band, everything is important to him..."

"I know, I know."

But it wasn't reassuring when we were told to go upstage in another two minutes, causing a full-blown panic.

I thought I was imagining it when Kabir threw himself inside, panting. His skin was flushed as he took breaths while being bombarded with questions.

"Where did you skip off to with a performance?" Master boomed, "This is not a joke! All of you, stick together!"

"And now for our next performance from NH3 of Netralaya Music Academy...." The female started off chirpily.

"He named our band?" Nia exclaimed in disbelief.

My lower lip wobbled and I choked the neck of the guitar for emotional support. The lights dimmed and I shuffled forward in a daze. A hand shot out and grabbed me. My eyes first fell on the long fingers that chorded around my arm and up to the owner of the glistening puppy eyes.

He deposited something into my hand and I felt the texture of a small pick that had a half-chipped picture of sunflowers.

"Was my grandmother's lucky charm when she used to play." He said in an intimately quiet voice, "Don't feel nervous. You'll be alright."

"Did you..go now to get this?" I asked, flipping the little thing back into my palm.

"Yeah.I left it in David's car so..."

My lips curved upwards into a little simper. "You too, do well."

I fidgeted with the pedestal of my microphone stand to stoop down to my height and hung the strap to support its weight on my torso. I was betting on the idea that all the harsh lights would not allow me to notice the enormity of the audience. Sadly, this was completely untrue. I could distinctly make out each and every face in the gathering.

That was when I noticed a few unique faces in the audience.

My sister and Lalitha auntie.

My sister began to hoot while Lalitha auntie watched with a stoic expression. Clad in a faded mauve sari, her gaze was fixed pointedly at me.

As if she noticed Kabir and myself talking in the entry wing.I was going to have to walk on eggshells around her from then on.

I looked down at my fingers which were moving from chord to chord like it had a mind of its own.