Jemma's Pov:

"Tell me everything! Seriously I want all the details. Ughh I'm so jealousy of you right now! Michael took you on a 9 day European cruise for your honeymoon and I spent spring break at Karen's because Skip is completely paranoid his beached whale of a wife would fall down the stairs or something and no one would be here to ugghhh never mind tell me all about your trip!!" Tina squealed.

Michael readjusted me more comfortably on his lap and laughed as Skip rolled his eyes and made goofy faces imitating Tina.

"So we flew to Southampton and a few hours later we boarded our ship, Queen Elizabeth and set sail. Oh my god our suite was beautiful and had a balcony set with champagne and strawberries. Seriously it was like a bad ass luxury suite." I sated with a happy sigh as I pictured it.

"Awe that's great baby-doll but no offense, I don't care about where you two were doing the horizontal tango. Skip to the places and people and ooh the food. I bet it was good!" Tina interrupted.

"Alright, jeeze you're impatient. So we spent the first day at sea and then the first port of call was South Queensferry, Scotland which is part of Edinburgh. It was stunning and had so much to do. We toured the city and shopped at the plaza. They had beautiful architecture from centuries ago-"

Tina made an impatient moving on gesture. "You are such a nerd. Didn't y'all do anything crazy or wild? Hello y'all were in another country! That means all bets are off. It's like 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas' but more intense!"

Michael laughed and playfully tweaked my nose. "Jems smoked pot. Got totally fried and ate half her weight in ice cream."

Tina clapped and gave me a mega-grin. "That's more like it. How bout that story."

I rolled my eyes and elbowed Michael. "We'll get there and by the way it so wasn't like that. The next two days we went to Invergordon and Kirkwall. We took a day trip from Invergordon to Loch Ness and took a 3 hour cruise around the lake and we saw the ruins of Urquhart Castle. The St Magnus Cathedral in Kirkwall was magnificent. I think one day when we're old and gray me and Michael are gonna retire there."

Michael kissed my cheek and tossed Tina and Skip the huge packet of pictures. "They had some festival going on and seriously dude it was awesome. Jems bought all kinds of folk artsy crap for the house and gifts for everyone."

"We spent the next day at sea and checked out all the shops and a few of the shows the ship had. Then it was Liverpool and we checked out a bunch of museums, Chester Zoo and I did more shopping. Tina you wouldn't believe how great their museums are. I've never seen anything like it here in the states. Then we went to Dublin and Michael had a blast checking out mummies."

"He would.. If I'd gone I'd have been going to the clubs or maybe their casino but Micheal went and looked at old dead people. Ughh how can we share the same genes?" Skip teased.

"We did go to a Casino and play for a while but Jems got bored and this couple we met there was telling us about some of the hidden attractions the city had. We thought we'd give it a go and it was seriously cool dude. We did the hidden Dublin walks tour and they talked about the darker side of the legends and myths and history of Ireland. Then we did the Hellfire Express tour and they took us to supposedly haunted ruins with history of satanic rituals. Then Jems wanted to go to the Leprechaun museum because it'd be cute and got totally freaked when it was all these dark fairy tales and Celtic myths and the history of a family that was cursed for a crap load of generations. Then we went to St Michan's church and they have underground vaults where the people from the 16,17 and 18th century were laid to rest and because of the dry conditions naturally mummified." Michael clarified.

"Nope, couldn't do it. I'm way too much of a Va-JJ. I'd have rather shopped or anything that didn't involve getting the crap scared out of me with musty, crusty dead people hanging out all willy nilly." Tina shook her head and shot Michael an 'are you stupid?' look.

"So then it was Saint Peters Port and that was a really pretty place. It reminded me of what the movies always make Venice look like. Really relaxed and it had the best cafe's where you sit outside at little iron tables and drink your wine. The boutiques there was fabulous and I picked up a few really great dresses and Michael picked up a couple of bottles of wine from a local producer. Then it was back to Southampton and our cruise was over."

"So when did you toke up? Come on, I'm a water buffalo and my idea of partying is chowing down on a pint of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia. I'm trying to live vicariously through you! So give me something to work with woman!" Tina teased.

Michael laughed. "Oh no Love, let me fill them in on this part because I know you'll leave out all the highlights." He said arching an eyebrow when I blushed.

"So we fly from Southampton to Amsterdam. We check into our hotel and Jems starts reading all the tourist brochures. Anyway she wants to do the hop on hop off tour bus. So we do and we go to Anne Frank's house and the Van Gogh Museum which was excellent by the way. We toured the Diamond Museum and then my adorable wife decides she's hungry and picks this Coffeeshop because it's just so cute."

"Uh oh haha I see where this is headed. Did you have any cookies or brownies at this cute café?" Skip teased.

"Just let me tell it bro. So she basically gets high off her ass there off of a 'Space Cake' and buys a couple to go for later. While she was eating her treat she ordered a pre rolled spliff and toked like a champ. From there Jems thinks it'd be just superly totally fan-terrific if we check out De Wallen. As in the red light district. I'm not gonna lie. I was down with that. It was not what I expected. It was pretty interesting though. So Jems gawks at all the naked chicks uh performing in their windows and then screams 'Fuck yeah look Mike they have sex shops here. Oh shit those are real girls! Don't they know we can see 'em and they're naked!' loud enough to get several laughs. We check out a few of the shops and a few cafes which are actually bars with her making a complete jackass out of herself. Then my adorably high wife pulls me into a smart shop. Because apparently she'd lost her buzz."

I groaned and covered his mouth with my hand while he laughed his ass off. Tina and Skip had cracked up when he was telling them about my THC induced retardedness. I can just imagine how they'll crack up if he finishes the story.

"This smartshop sells other interesting things along with pot. So I ordered a special energy drink and smoked another joint or two and we went to a club and danced and went back to our hotel and slept and then I was tired the next day so we bummed out and then we flew home. Period, end of story."

Michael laughed even harder. "Come on Love, it's funny. We'll all laugh with you, not at you. This is a circle of love and understanding and-"

I punched his arm. "Ughh fine jack ass. But for the record, even though all that shit is legal, it's like a bazillion times stronger then anything we have here. So yeah."

"So Jems drinks her energy drink and smokes a few more rolled ones. While the caring husband AKA me is trying to tell her maybe she should pace herself and what was her response? To damn near choke me when she tried to 'share' her space cake with me. So we get to the club and by that time the effects of the energy drink have donkey stomped her ass! It's the equivalent of dropping a hit or three of Ecstasy. So she's just soooo mesmerized by the pretty lights and the air feels so gooood, the way it was tickling her and then she went from dancing with me to damn near tearing my clothes off and having sex. Of course since we were dancing on the bar our little show got us thrown out. We barely make it to the hotel because every two seconds she's trying to strip her clothes off and 'be one with nature' The next day Jems had a hang over type thing going on. She spent most of the day asleep or with the toilet as her best friend. She refused to eat anything other then vending machine food in case everything in Amsterdam was laced with chronic. Then she spent most of the night lecturing me on not being a good chaperon because I let her have too much crap. All in all it was a long but very entertaining weekend."

Tina and Skip kept laughing and I rolled my eyes at Michael's dramatic rant. "I did not lecture you. I just said you should have stopped me before I acted an ass. I'm probably gonna end up on youtube under Girl goes ape shit after heavy drug use." I said yawning.

"Damn jet lag is kickin my ass. I'm gonna take a shower and lay down for a while. You coming Sex-nip?"

"It's only 6 are you going to sleep already?" Tina pouted

"Nah, just gonna lay down and catch up with my DVR. It's been a long trip and I wanna be lazy before we get back into the daily grind tomorrow." I said pulling Michael to the stairs.

Michael and I took a shower together and of course it didn't stay innocent very long. We got off, then got out and he towel dried both of us. Then picked me up and carried me into our bedroom. 

 He set me down and dropped the towel he had wrapped around his hips.

"Mike I wanna play tonight." I purred, only more turned on by the orgasm I already had in the shower.

He smiled his wicked, 'you're gonna scream my name' smile and grabbed the hot pink fuzzy handcuffs. "Let's play then Love."

I slid back on the bed and felt my heart start to race as anticipation flared when he cuffed my hands to the headboard. 

He grabbed the feather tickler and ran it over my body in slow smooth strokes that had me squirming.

Then switched to the flogger with the leather strips. He ran it down my stomach a few times before he lightly swatted me with it.

I bit my lip to keep the pleased groan from being too loud but I couldn't help but arch up into the sensation. My body unconsciously seeking more of the sweet tingles it was getting.

"If you keep wiggling like that, I'm gonna tie your ankles down and have my wicked way with you, Love. Would you like that?" His voice dropped an octave and became gravelly. He liked that idea too

I nodded my head and groaned when he tested how turned on I was with a slow lick up my achy core.

"Ohh Sweetheart, I love how wet you get for me. Maybe I shou-"

*Knock, Knock*

"If someone isn't dead or the house isn't on fire go away!" Michael yelled then went back to nipping my inner thigh.

*Knock, Knock*

"Seriously Skip Fuck off!" Michael yelled.

The pounding on the door got even more persistent and louder.

 Michael huffed and mumbled about cock blocking brothers and why couldn't his parents have used birth control and made him an only child. 

I bit my lip to stifle the giggle as he gave me one more heated kiss to my core before he got off the bed and stomped to the door.

"No one is dead and I don't smell smoke so what the fuck do you want jackass?" He growled opening the door just enough to see who was interrupting us but still keeping his body turned away so you couldn't see he was bare assed.

I heard an impatient huff. "Michael Allen Jenkins you were raised with better manners then that, young man! I swear mom would have a stroke if she heard you talkin that way!" Karen scolded.

"Ugghh why are you here? I know for a fact you have a very nice husband that's at your very nice home that you could be bugging. Instead of bugging me at mine." He whined and a giggle escaped me because he sounded like a little boy that got his favorite cookie taken away. All sulky.

"I'm not here to bug you brat. I wanted to talk to Jemma about y'alls trip and-"

He cut her off. "Sorry sis, she isn't here. So feel free to let yourself out." He said already trying to close the door.

Karen huffed again. "I just heard her laugh and you can stop with the attitude little bro. It isn't nearly as cute as you think it is."

"Well she's tied up with something at the moment. So go talk to Skip and Tina about it. We already did the post honey moon everyone in our business interview so yeah. See ya later" He said closing the door and coming back to bed.

He climbed up my body. "Now where was I? Oh I remember we were discussing how you'd like me to fuck-"

A startled scream flew out of my mouth at the same time as a startled scream flew from Karen's. Michael looked over his should and turned beet red.

"OH FOR FUCKS SAKES! GET THE FUCK OUT!!!"

His furious voice could probably be heard from Mars. He'd shifted his body so mine was mostly covered but his bare ass was still on display.

"Hey what's with all the yelling? Oh shitttttttt! Hahaha Oh man, this is too fucking funny! Everyone stay exactly where you are! I'm gonna go get my camera!" Skip smarted, running off laughing his ass off.

I buried my face in his chest and laughed. "Karen umm I'll be down in a minute" I called to her retreating back.

"Ughh I need a new family!" Michael huffed against my chest.

"And I need you to un-cuff me so I can deal with Karen. Rain check on the freaky-deeky?"

He rolled his eyes. "She can wait. I'm hungry and have a perfectly tasty wife spread eagle and cuffed to my bed I can eat."