Jemma's Pov:

Ask me to stay I begged silently while I grabbed the handle. The door to the hall opened about 4 inches before Michael's hand slammed it shut.

He stepped back a few inches and I turned to look at him over my shoulder.

"What?" My voice was hoarse from all the emotions running through me.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"Jems what was I supposed to think? You go to a sex shop with him. We have our first all out argument and when I get up you're gone. Come to find out you were at his house all night and he drove you to school this morning where you two confess your endless love for each other and then make out?!?!"

He sighed in frustration. "Then when I walk in the first thing I hear is you talking about leaving campus with him and then he makes that pass at you in front of me. How am I supposed to act? What am I supposed to think? Hell I still don't even understand what the hell happened last night. Everything was fine until you flipped out. I really don't even get it. Until I find out everything today. It makes total sense now. You picked a huge fight over ice cream with me and then wait until I'm asleep so you can sneak out to meet him and y'all weren't even discreet! Hell the only way you could have been crueler was if you had announced it over the intercom that you were cheating and regret marrying me."

I listened to his little speech and unfortunately it did nothing to relieve my achy heart.

 I walked to his desk and perched on the end, taking a second to gather my thoughts. I took out my phone and sent a quick text to Robby asking if it was okay to reveal his secrets.

Seconds later my phone buzzed with his answer. I put my phone down and finally leveled my stare to my untrusting husband.

"Sit down." I demanded quietly.

He nodded and moved to sit next to me. I shook my head and pointed to the sofa a few feet away.

I blew out a breath a chuckled without any humor. "You're gonna feel like a real asshole when I finish telling you everything."

He started to open his mouth to talk but I spoke over him.

"No I listened to you without interrupting. Now you're gonna shut the hell up and listen." I snapped. I waited until I was sure he would comply and began.

"I admit that I over reacted last night BUT look at it from my point of view. I've asked you repeatedly to treat me like an equal but you don't. This was just the latest thing. I was out of my mind, worried that you would be disgusted with me for some of the things I wanted to try. But if you had just talked to me I could have avoided that worry. That's not even the main issue. I get so tired of you constantly telling me you 'wont pressure me into anything' I understand what you're saying but come the hell on. You're only 4 years older then me and in the time that we've known each other when have you ever seen me allow someone pressuring me to get to me?"

"It makes me feel like you think I'm a weak willed person that would blindly follow. If that's how you see me, you obviously don't know me very well. Back to the sex stuff. How do you think it makes me feel to think that you're holding back on your desires and fantasies? That right there is what makes me nervous because sex isn't everything in a marriage but it is important and if you cant explore your sexuality or say 'Hey Jems how about we try anal or role play' then how are we going to keep that aspect of our marriage healthy?"

I gave him a second to process that then continued with my cool detached voice. "Now on to the PMS crack. Seriously offensive. Why is it that men always assume that if a woman is pissed off it must be PMS? Like you couldn't possibly conceive in that brain of yours that you may have been the cause of the 'irritability' But lastly why in the hell did you have Midol? I could have started jumping to conclusions that you were cheating but I didn't question your fidelity. I had faith in you that you obviously lack in me."

"And for a fairly smart man you're being incredibly obtuse if you honestly think the argument was about ice cream. I was using that as an analogy. We've never really had the "Ex and sex talk' You know that you're my first and I've told you everything that I've done with anyone else but you've never told me yours. Don't you think I hate feeling like I'm compared to a list of countless woman that were more experienced then me? I don't even know what your number is and that leaves me guessing. Wondering if I come up to scratch against those nameless faceless women."

"I didn't sleep on the couch. You were right about that. I tossed and turned unable to sleep because I hate fighting with you. For the first time since we got together my insomnia kicked in because I was so stressed and upset. I got up an hour early and got ready and left just before your alarms went off. Because I didn't know how to fix the argument and I didn't want to make it worse by saying something I'd regret."

I ran my hand over my face and waited as the bell rang dismissing the class. There was a light knock and I knew who it was. I walked over to the door and opened it to see my two best friends standing there with worried looks. Tina pulled me into a hug but Robby didn't. Probably scared to make things worse between me and Michael.

"Do you want me to talk to him with you? Help explain?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Guys it's whatever. We're talking and we'll figure everything out. Just go to class and I'll call you if I need anything. Love y'all"

I closed the door and took another much needed deep breath. I'd wanted to say we'd work it all out but the truth is, it's not gonna be that simple.

I walked back over to the desk and leaned on it.

"I went to Rob's house this morning because I'd planned on taking him to breakfast to talk about something I'd been thinking for a while but finally became sure about last week. I have the key to his house because before I met you, his house and Tina's we're my home away from home. I let myself in and walked into his room. Catching him and his boyfriend having sex. I made breakfast for them and then me and his boyfriend who is Mr. Carr by the way had a nice long chat. We got to school and yeah we hugged and I'll admit I gave him a peck on the lips and a few seconds later he gave me a quick peck. It was completely platonic and was a gesture of comfort and gratitude. Because he was upset that his parents took his coming out so hard but happy I was so chill with it all and yes we did say that we loved each other because we do. We're family, he's no different then Tina. As for Robby making a pass at me. You cant honestly believe that those corny lines are him running game. That was him teasing you because up until about an hour ago he considered you as more then just a friend. He counted you as family and you were seriously one of his idols. He thought you were what a man was supposed to be and the kind of man he wanted to be when he grew up. I wonder what he thinks now?"

His expression was almost comical and at any other time I would have laughed but not now.

"So now do you understand just how wrong you were about everything. What really gets me is the fact that you actually believed the rumors when you've seen first hand the total crap that goes around about me. Did you forget that not too long ago I was supposedly having threesomes with Tina and your brother?"

He walked over and tried to wrap his arms around me and for once it didn't make my heart flutter.

 I shook my head and stepped to the side. The tears were coming again and it pissed me off.

"Jems I'm so sor-"

I laughed sarcastically. "Sorry? For what? Thinking that I would cheat on you? For thinking I created an over the top elaborate scheme so I could go fuck my best friend? For having no faith in me? Thinking I'm a whore? The crappy comments about our Vegas wedding and regrets?"

He ran his hand down his face and his eyes showed the tears he was trying to hold back. "Yes for all of it."

He sighed and his voice cracked. "I didn't mean that I regretted us getting married. I thought you regretted it because you finally figured out you two love each other. I freaked okay. I'm not gonna lie. You wouldn't talk to me all morning and those fucking kids wouldn't shut up about what a cute couple you two were and I... I fucked up and I'm an asshole but the thought of losing you literally brings my world crashing down."

"Oh I see. You're sorry for thinking I'm a whore. So it's all good now? Jemma goes home like a good little girl? NO."

He looked stunned then the color drained away. "Jems we need to."

"Yeah Michael I know but not anymore... Not now. I'm all talked out right now and I really just need some time to think about things."

He stepped back and nodded reluctantly. "Okay, I'll see you at home after school and we can sit down and talk. I'll make us dinner and we can-"

"I'm not going to be there Michael. I'm going to take a few days to myself. We'll talk when I get back."

"Jemma don't leave things like this between us. Please." He blinked his eyes to keep the tears back but it didn't matter because I'd already turned back to the door.

I sighed with my hand on the knob. I spoke without turning to look at him because I knew my resolve would melt away and truth be told we both needed this time to think.

"Michael it isn't forever and it isn't a punishment. Maybe we rushed into it and this is what happens. I worry about being enough for you and you worry about me being unfaithful. Just take this time to decide if marriage to a 'kid' is worth it. I love you too much to have you stuck in a marriage that isn't working for you."

I rushed out the door and ran to my car. I got home and packed a bag to last 3 or 4 days. I made sure I had all of the essentials then texted Robby to please turn in my books to the office and that I was taking a 'Me Trip' and would call in a few days.

I left. I just got in my car and drove, heading to Austin. I loved the city. So much to do to take your mind off things and so culturally diverse.