Jem's Pov:

I was laying on the bed surfing the college course list.

 Hmm all the campus classes have already started but they offered online classes that I could take and the only time I'd have to be at the campus was to take the finals.

Michael plopped down next to me and I pushed my laptop aside and rolled to face him. "Hey you." I mumbled against his lips.

He smiled and caressed my cheek. I turned my head to kiss his palm.

"You excited for tomorrow?" He asked.

I shrugged and thought for a minute. "No actually. It's just another day. Nothing special."

He flicked my forehead playfully. "Love it's the day you finish high school. It's very special."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah I get that, but it just feels like a normal day. The only thing that changes is that I'll be working at the club during the day and I'm going to start online courses."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh is that the only thing that changes" He mock glared at me and I pretended to think....

"Oh yeah.... Now I can have my wicked way with you in public. Since I'm not your student anymore."

He pulled me so that I was half sprawled on top of him and smiled my favorite crooked smile. "I love you Jemma Jenkins. More than anything in this world. I'm so lucky to have you in my life"

His sweet words made me tense up subtly but he noticed. "What's wrong Love?"

I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes, willing the tears to stay back. He rubbed soothing circles on my back and cooed sweetly to me.

I sniffed and raised my head to look him in the eyes. "I don't deserve you. I'm a bad person and I just don't deserve someone as wonderful as you."

His eyes narrowed and he looked pissed.

I went to sit up but he held me still and searched my eyes.

"What's going on Jemma? Why in the world would you say such a crazy ass thing? Are you... I mean....is that your way of trying to tell me you want a d..divorce?" His voice was hoarse and he released his hold and looked at the wall behind me.

"What?!? No!!! I just...." I sighed and tried to find the right wording.

He sighed in relief and looked at me again. "You're not trying to say you're leaving me?"

I shook my head and my tears flowed harder now. "No never! I'm here with you until you boot my ass out."

He visibly relaxed but concern was still evident. 

 He pulled me onto his lap. "Tell me what's wrong, Love" He pleaded and I sniffed trying to say what had been on my mind.

I huffed out a huge breath and finally said what I needed to say.

"I'm a bad person and sometimes I really hate myself. I was stupid and because of that I lost our baby and I came so close to losing you too." He tried to say something but I covered his mouth and continued.

"I cried and thought I was heartbroken when I lost Squishy.... But as soon as I found out your life was in danger all thoughts of our child left me. What kind of person stops caring like that? A bad one that's who. I didn't even think about the baby once while you were in the hospital. But now that you're okay, as hard as I try not to think about it. It's always there. I try not to let it show but every time Tina or Skip talk about their pregnancy it hurts."

I sighed. "I'm hurt and angry at myself. I'm jealous of my best friend and how shitty is that? Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled for her but she gets to have her baby but I lost mine because I wanted some fucking ice cream."

He'd been rubbing my back and listening to my sad rant. I finally met his eyes expecting to find anger and possibly disgust but all his eyes held were sadness, understanding and love. 

He dropped a sweet kiss to my forehead.

"You're not a bad person Sweetheart. I don't know how many times I have to say this for you to believe me but it wasn't your fault. It was just a sad accident. And if the roles were reversed and you were the one in a coma then I can guarantee you that YOU and only YOU would have been on my mind. Did you ever stop to think that maybe the reason you shied away from thinking about the baby was that your mind and heart knew that between that and worrying if I'll live it would be too much? You said it yourself, now that you know I'm okay you think about Squishy. I do too, Love. We lost a child and it takes time to grieve that loss. It's also natural that you get a little jealous of Tina. The loss just happened and I'll let you in on a little secret. As happy as I am for them sometime I get a little jealous too. I know it's not the same but we'll have a niece or nephew to spoil rotten and when you're ready we'll have more kids. As many as you want."

I gave him the hardest hug imaginable because I was so glad he understood where I was coming from. "I love you so much Jerk face!"

He squeezed me closer and dropped a light kiss on my lips. "Not as much as I love you Big mouth!"

"Soooooo, how are you gonna occupy your time now that I wont be with you half the day?" I asked with an impish grin.

He rolled his eyes. "Oh I don't know..... Guess I'll just have to teach... Ya know, do my job."

I rolled my eyes at his smart ass remark.

"Oh ha ha. Ya know what I mean. And don't even think about flirting back with the hoe bags at school that will be throwing themselves at you. Since I won't be there to protect you and set a skank in her place."

I huffed already aggravated as I pictured the hormonal vipers flirting constantly with him. He laughed at my obvious jealousy and laid back against the pillows pulling me with him.

"Sweetheart, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. The only woman, student or otherwise, I have any interest in is my adorably territorial wife." He paused for a second then chuckled. "What the crap is a hoe bag?"

I rolled on top of him and grinned at his cluelessness.

"Well old man, us cool kick ass youngsters use that as a reference to someone so hoe-ish that just saying hoe isn't sufficient enough. Thus they are a bag full of hoe-ness. AKA hoebag. You really should invest in adding urban dictionary to your tablet or phone. Your ancient-ness is showing!"

He laughed evilly, rolling me underneath him.

"Oh really Love? I'm ancient huh?" He cooed slowly running his hand up my thigh.

I nodded my head and squealed as he started tickling me relentlessly.

"Say Mike is the sexiest hottest YOUNG GUY ever!" He said as he paused in his tickle torture. I gasped trying to catch my breath but shook my head no. 

He moved his fingers back to tickle me again.

"Alright!" I panted.

He paused his hands inches from my tickle spots and raised his eyebrow waiting.

I took a deep breath and rushed out. "Mike is the sexiest, hottest senior citizen ever!!"

His fingers flew at me and I squealed and wriggled.

After a short struggle I managed to flip him over and sit on his chest with my knees pinning his arms down.

"Take that sukka!!! I told you I could take ya down! Who's your master!!" I cackled like a maniac and thumped his nose playfully.

He rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue. "Enjoy it while it lasts Sweetheart. Only a couple more weeks until the casts come off!" He taunted.

I leaned down and smacked a juicy kiss to his cheek. "Yeah keep telling yourself the only reason I won are the casts" I teased climbing off of him and wiggling my booty, doing my spazzy victory dance. 

Michael laughed and swatted my butt playfully.

I jumped back on the bed and snuggled back into Michael's warm embrace. "Sleep?" He murmured into my ear.

I ground my butt into his crotch, loving the slight hitch in his breathing.

"I was thinking about trying something new." I said sliding my hand behind me to caress his hardened member.

His hands were running up and down my side kneading my hip.

"I went to Hidden Pleasures earlier with Robby Pop and picked up a few things."

His hands stilled and a low growl made its way out of his throat. "You went to a sex shop with Rob? If you want to explore your sexuality I'd appreciate if you did it with me, not other guys." He spoke softly.

Uh oh... That's the deceptively soft tone he uses when he's super pissed.

"No I went to an adult toy shop with my best friend to pick out some things to surprise my husband. I wanted a guy's advice, but Robby Pop kinda spazzed when he saw the dildos and decided to wait outside. He said it was because it was freaking him out. But I have a different opinion about that."

He pulled me even closer and growled in my ear. "Let's talk about Rob and his issues when we're not half naked and in bed with your hand on my cock." He nipped my earlobe and I shivered.

"Wanna see what I got?" I whispered as I got a little nervous... What if he thought I was a freak or I grossed him out?!?!

He blew out a breath and kissed my neck. "Sure Love, whaddya get?"

I smirked and hopped out of the bed and grabbed the two big black bags from under the foot of the bed. I climbed back up and dumped the contents out.

I felt my cheeks flare with a hot blush as his eyes widened and he let out a strangled laugh.

I held my breath and waited to see what he'd say as he picked up one item after another. He glanced up and met my eyes.

"Breath Sweetheart." His voice held a definite ring of amusement. After a few minutes of him looking things over I finally got the nerve to speak.

I cleared my throat and looked at him. "I was umm... We don't have to.... I mean, if you don't want...." I blew out an irritated sigh.

He smirked at me and bit his lip. "Sooo, what brought all this on?" He asked still trying not to laugh.

"Well I was reading an article in my psychology class about marital dynamics and the importance of keeping things fresh and fun and exploring your sexuality and fantasies with your partner."

"What the hell were you doing reading that in class? Mrs. Ladonna actually gave that as an assignment?" His eyes went back to the huge pile between us.

"No we were reading about the dynamics of healthy marriages and I got a little sidetracked and researched on my own. Ughhh That's besides the point. Whatever! This was dumb and now you think I'm a dirty freaky sex addict."

I face palmed myself and flopped back, feeling like a complete moron.

He burst out laughing and tugged me to him. "No Love, I don't think that. I think you're just curious and it's completely normal to want to explore your sexuality. Especially when you're in a committed relationship with someone you trust. I would never think you were a freak. Everyone has fantasies and I'm more then happy to try every single one you have. So come back up here and let's check this out together."

I sat back up and looked at the pile as he went through it.

He looked deep in thought as he separated everything into groups. A nervous giggle broke through my lips when he picked up a pair of fuzzy black handcuff's.

He chuckled and looked back at me. "Am I the one that's supposed to get cuffed and spanked or is that something you'd like me to do to you?"

I picked up the pink paddle that had hearts on it and blushed. "Well you have spanked me before and I... Uhh I liked it. So me, unless you want to take turns and have me spank you?"

He kissed me hard and quick. "Don't be nervous about this. Love. I already know you like it when I slap your ass. You always moan louder when I do it. Especially when I spank you while your cumming. Just like I already figured you'd like to be restrained because you go ape shit when I hold your hands above your head while I play with you."

"Then why didn't you bring this up?"

He laughed. "Because I'm not going to pressure you into trying anything. I figured when you got a little more confident you would bring up anything that interested you."

I stayed quiet processing what he said and punched him on the arm.

"Oww what was that for?" He complained.

"Because you're a dick! Do you know how worried I was that you'd be turned off? Ughh but Noooooo!!! This is all so flippin hilarious. Your virginal wife is so god damn inexperienced that you have to hold back so you don't offend her delicate sensibilities! Meanwhile I wanted to do something that was new for you. But of course nothing phases you and you probably already tried everything there is to try cause you were a huge man whore! So while I give you my everything this is all just ehhh whatever for you! I mean it's like the first time I ate chocolate ice cream and I'm trippin cause Ive only ever had vanilla but you already had every single fuckin flavor at Baskin Robins!!! Will I ever be your first anything?"

He looked at me like I was crazy and got off the bed and paced the floor not even bothering to talk to me, just muttering under his breath. 

Finally he stopped and looked at me.

"Are you getting close to your period? Cause this must be what PMS is. Do you need Midol? I saw on the commercials it helps for irritability and I have some."

He walked over to our bathroom and came back with the bottle. He handed it to me while I stared speechless.

 I narrowed my eyes and threw the bottle across the room.

I yanked my pillow and the comforter off the bed and laid down on the couch with out another word and ignored him when he tried to talk about PMS.