"It doesn't make sense to call ourselves ugly...we don't really see ourselves. We don't watch ourselves sleeping in bed, curled up and silent, with chests rising and falling with our own rhythm...reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing...you don't see yourself looking at someone with care inside your heart...you would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly beautiful."

- Unknown

30|| Truly Beautiful Regrets

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"Brother I want to be beautiful!!!" I cry and he frowns.

"Ana I told you--"

"No! No! You lied to me! I want to be beautiful... Please... You're my brother... You know how it is brother... To be happy in this world... You have to be beautiful. That's how it is today isn't it?! Because if you're ugly, you don't matter!" I scream.

"ANA!"

SLAP!

.......

I felt the burning sensation on my cheek. I stare at the floor, my eyes wide and confused as to why my loving brother had slapped me.

"Fine. You want to be beautiful. I'll make you beautiful in the humans eyes, but the human eyes are one of the most sinful things ever. If you want me to make you 'beautiful', then you are no longer beautiful to me." He frowns at me.

My lips quivered.

"I may be what the humans describe as horrifyingly ugly but because of that... I know what true beauty is, but you are fool to think that what the human eye sees as beautiful... is beautiful, it is not beautiful unless it is something they truly love but if it is 'beautiful' and they do not love, then it is the most ugliest thing ever." He crouched down in front of me.

"Those who see you as beautiful now are the truly beautiful people. Those who are not afraid of you because of the way you look are the most pure and dangerous people. But they are also the most precious." He places his hand on my cheek.

"I am sorry for hurting you, but listen to me Ana." He lifts my chin up. "No matter what, you are my sister, and no matter what, you will always be beautiful to me, so I will make you beautiful to the human eyes but, I will not change your eyes."

I nod and squeeze my brothers hand. He smiles sadly and picks me up, he places me down on the bed and takes a step back. He closes his eyes and once he opens them, they glow and the two faustian symbols appear in his eyes. He takes a step toward me and I back away. "Don't be afraid."

His face softens. "Okay... I trust you brother." I sit back down and he smiles.

He places each of his cold hands on each of my eyes. Everything was pitch black. He chants something and my body starts to heat up. I reach out for him and hug him tight.

I felt my hair burn, my skin, my lips, my nose, "Ah!" I let out a small wince.

It didn't hurt that much. I thought it would.

"Open your eyes." He says softly. I carefully open my eyes and pull away from my brother.

He smiles and I jump off of the bed.

I run over to the front of the fireplace and look back at my brother. He walks up to me and chuckles as he picks me up.

"Oh!" I gasp.

The girl staring back at me in the mirror was... Beautiful...

The girl had tiny bits of freckles on her cheeks and shoulders, she had small but full lips, a small button nose, a beauty spot just under the corner of her left eye, long lashes, the most beautiful salmon peach hair I have ever seen and big emerald green eyes.

"Wow..." I grin.

I look back at my brother and he smiles as he sees my big grin.

"Lucifer I went to the--" Helena enters the room and stops as she looks at me. "Ana...?"

I nod and jump out of my brothers arms. "Look Helena! Aren't I beautiful?!" I giggle.

She smiles and picks me up. "You are but... Why?"

"She wanted to be 'beautiful'" My brother sighs and smiles sadly.

"Well you were beautiful before too sweetheart." She sits me down on the vanity table.

"No... Please just let me be?" I look up at her and she nods.

"Lucifer are you okay?" Helena sits next to him and pats his back.

"Brother?" I jump off and peer at his face, he seemed pale.

"I'm fine... *cough!*" He coughs violently and I place my hands on his cheek. He looks up at me, like a small puppy looking up at their owner.

"Brother... Did I hurt you?" The strand of hair that fell on his face when he coughed poked his eyelid. I pushed it back and look at him worriedly. He continues to stare at me and then suddenly pushes me back roughly. "Eek!" I fall on my bottom.

That hurt.

"Lucifer!" Helena jumps in front of me and holds him back. He looks at me as if he were about to kill someone. A psychotic smile appears on his lips and blood slowly dribbles out from the corner of his mouth.

"Brother..." I move back. "Ah!" My hand gets burnt from touching the hot part near the fireplace.

"Get out." He says.

"Huh?" I look up and he looks down at me.

"Luci--" He pushes Helena back.

"Helena!"

"Get. The. Fuck. Out." He throws the door open and I stare up at him.

My brother... Where's my brother?

"GET OUT!" I jump up and run toward the door. I look back and he glares at me.

I feel the hot tears roll down my cheek and I close the door. I turn around and see the boy... Luda... Staring at me wide eyed.

"Milady..." He bows.

"I-I..." I turn away and run towards my room. "Brother..." I squeak out and lock the door behind me.

What did I do? Why did he do that?

"Ana!" I hear Helena's voice outside my door.

--------------------------------

"Does he hate me?" I ask as she brushes my now salmon peach hair.

"No. He does not hate you Ana. He never will. You're his... Sister. He was just a bit tired out after changing you, it exhausted him because he did the spell in a way so that it wouldn't hurt you." She explains.

"Oh... Is he okay?" I ask and she smiles.

"He is." She continues to brush my hair. "You really love your brother don't you?" She smiles softly and starts plaiting my hair.

"You always ask me that. Of course I do. He's my prince." I say and I see her smile from the mirror.

"Ana... Can I ask you something?" She looks me in the eyes and then looks back down.

"Yeah."

"If your brother ever... Lied... To you, like... he made a very big lie up and you found out, and it changed your whole life, would you ever forgive him?"

I think about it.

"It depends. Would the lie change my life in a good or bad way?"

"Bad."

"Well..." I ponder. "...As long as he stays with me and promises to change his ways, then I guess so... He is my brother after all." I shrug.

She smiles sadly. "You certainly are wise for your age." She giggles. "Done."

"Woah. Thank you!" I admire my hair. "I am almost 3000 years old after all." I giggle.

---------------------------------

"I can't believe my sister is going to turn 7!" Helena squeals.

I giggle and watch her jump around as maids dress me for the occasion.

"Oh my..." Helena gasps. "YOU LOOK SO GORGEOUS!" She picks me up and spins me around.

"Hehehe!" I wrap my arms around her neck and laugh.

She skips out of the room with me in her arms. "Let's show your brother!"

"Okay."

I haven't seen him since that... Incident... A few days ago. I missed him.

"Lucifer! Look at your sister!" Helena holds me up like Simba from the Lion King.

"Hmm." He says, not looking up from his newspaper. I frown and Helena puts me down. She strides up to him and snatches the paper out of his hands.

"You're sister is turning human today and you ignore her?! Stop being so inconsiderate, she hasn't even see you in days and you act like a fuckwit." She snaps and throws the paper.

I hear him sigh and get up. "Anakaia." I look up and he smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. "You look beautiful."

"Liar." I whisper.

"What?" He crouches down in front of me.

"Do you not love me anymore now that I'm turning human?" I slap his hand away.

"I don't hate you Ana." He lies once again.

"Why are you lying to me?!" I take a step back. "Why have you been acting weird ever since you changed me... Is it because I'm not beautiful in your god like eyes anymore?!" I shove him back.

His eyes widened.

"Ana..." Helena starts walking towards me.

"No shut up!" I glare at Helena. "Stop trying to make everything better. It's not! You're not apart of this!"

"Ana don't talk to her like that." Lucifer stands up.

"Don't talk to her like that...?" I start walking back. "So that's it huh? You've replaced me with her now... Now that i'm human... I'm not special anymore..." My heart breaks.

"Don't--"

"No you don't!" I felt the tears roll down my cheek. "Stop lying to me! Stop trying to make things better by lying to me! How can you lie to my face?! I only have you and now you're going to ignore me?! What happened?' What happened?! Why do you hate me?!"

"Ana listen to me--"

"NO!" I take the necklace he gave to me for my 1000th birthday and throw it at him. "I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!! I-I-I HATE YOU TOO THEN!! I-I HATE YOU BROTHER!" I run out.

--Lucifer POV--

"NO!" She pulls the necklace on her chest and breaks the chain. I felt my heart ache, it hurt so much to see her break that necklace. She throws it to my feet and I stare down at it. "I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!! I-I-I HATE YOU TOO THEN!!" I felt my eyes prick. "I-I HATE YOU BROTHER!"

I hate you brother... brother...

I hear her run out and Helena runs after her. I pick the necklace up and I see droplets of red blood drip into the charm. I ball my hands and sat back down on the chair, I placed the necklace onto my aching chest.

I hate you brother... I hate you brother...

The four words I never wanted to hear keep replaying in my head.

Why does my heart hurt? I'm suppose to hate her... I'm suppose to treat her like trash... But... That night... As soon as I saw those beautiful green eyes... I felt like looking at a reflection of my own eyes. Her eyes that looked like it had seen the Hell of all Hells. But when they sparkled with happiness, It made me happy, when they were sad, I was sad... Maybe I should never have done it... Maybe I should never have done what I did.

-----------------------------------------

"Knock knock." I say and slowly open the door. Helena looks up and smiles. "Is everything... Okay?"

I sat down on the edge of the bed and peer down at her angelic sleeping face.

I didn't change much to be honest, I only changed her hair colour, took the scars, scratches and bruises away and she turned out like this. She was always beautiful.

"Yeah..." My wife smiles down at her and pats her back gently.

"Did you clear things up?"

"Yeah... Only between the two of us though. I can't help you out. You're going to have to do it yourself, love." She stands up and kisses me softly. "I know you'll do what's right... Sooner or later..." She whispers and walks out.

I stare at the door then sat down on the armchair next to her bed. My sister...

Later...

I place the necklace down on the bedside table and slowly tuck her hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry... Won't you forgive me?" I whisper. "I'm sorry I deceived you." I kiss her forehead and close my eyes.

I'm sorry I deceived you...

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2:37am

I sat up and looked around. I was in my room. I turn my head and see Helena and brother asleep on the armchair next to my bed.

"Brother..." I poke his raven black hair and he slowly sits up.

"Ana..." He takes my hand and smiles.

"Why am I here?" I blink a few times.

"I found you in the gardens... Dead." He shurgs.

"Dead...?" I tilt my head.

"I won't let that happen ever again my love..."

My love...

My lips quivered and I hugged him. "How long has it been since you said that to me?" I sob and hear him sniffle.

"A while..." I pull away and smile.

"So... How long have I been here?" I ask.

"Ana... You just woke up now but... You've been dead for 100 years..."

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Yeah so that's this is the last chapter for fetus Ana. I know that I don't usually post chapters up on a Saturday (AUS)/ Friday (US) but I'll be posting one tomorrow :D

- Luca